And I Love Her (14 page)

“You’re special to me too.” She lifted her face and looked into my eyes. The moment between us was couldn’t be explained in normal words. A conversation passed between our eyes. I told her how much I loved her and vowed to never hurt her, and I thought she said the same. But I could never be sure.

If such a thing as soul mates existed, Prudence was mine. And if she wasn’t, I made her. And that was more powerful than destiny. Our lives were meant to cross. Ever since she touched me, I’ve become a better man. I’ve realized all my wrongs and what I should have been doing all along. For Prudence, I made her realize just how wonderful and worthy she is. Any man would be lucky to have her.

In an inexplicable way, we were meant for each other. I just couldn’t explain how.

Chapter Fifteen

♬

Prudence Clearwater

After the traumatizing experience in London, I was ready to get the hell out. I’d only been in America for a few months but that was my home now. Cash was my home.

Cash went to sleep immediately after we made love twice in a row. He was a trooper and gave me his all, being as quiet as possible, and he gave out as soon as we were done.

For my entire life, I hoarded all my pain. Only Jeremy knew the extent of the damage I experienced. But now Cash did too. He saw everything. He understood what a jackass my father was, how selfish my mother was, how much Gavin hurt me…he understood all of it.

Now he was more than just my best friend. There was no word to describe it. He was closer to me than even Jeremy. And now that I knew Jeremy was keeping something from me, it made me doubt our relationship. If he wanted to protect his privacy from the world, that was fine. But why would he tell Cash, a man he hardly knew? That made me doubt the strength of our relationship.

I knew Jeremy would be awake because he was a freaking vampire and never slept. I went downstairs and saw him sitting at the kitchen table, a steaming cup of coffee next to his laptop.

He didn’t look up. “Bedtime snack?”

I tightened Cash’s sweater around me and sat across from him. “No.”

“Can’t sleep?”

“I guess.”

He finally looked at me. “I’m sorry about Mom. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. I just hope you don’t let it bother you too much.”

“Why wouldn’t it?” I said coldly. “You’ve always been their favorite. You always will be. You’re a successful businessman who made a million his first year in the workforce. I’m just a bum who plays a guitar.” I didn’t mean to be so cold. It wasn’t Jeremy’s fault he was favored so much.

He didn’t lash out at me like he should. Instead, he listened.

I shook my head. “I hate them—both of them.”

“You had the perfect opportunity to tell them of your recent—and incredible—success.”

“Why would I want them to start loving me just because of that? I should be loved anyway.” It was pathetic we were even having this conversation.

He nodded. “After your wedding, I’m not talking to either of our parents. I’m fed up with the way they treat you. If they want me to be in their lives, they have to repair the relationship with you.”

“Jeremy, I appreciate it
but you don’t need to do that.”

“I’m not doing it for you. I can’t stand to see them treat my sister that way. I want nothing to do with them.”

My eyes softened. “But I don’t want them to reach out to me just because they have to.”

“I’m not making them do anything.”

“But if they want a relationship with you, they’ll have to do something.”

“Then they better be pretty damn convincing.” He raised his voice slightly. I could tell he was livid with both my parents. It was nice having him on my side, especially since I didn’t have to ask him to be.

“Thank you…”

“There’s no need for gratitude.”

“I mean for always supporting me.”

“You don’t need to thank me for that either.” He sipped his coffee then looked at his computer.

“I don’t her to come to the wedding.”

“I’ll make sure she doesn’t.”

If I was so important to him, why did he hide something from me? I was resentful toward him for that. And I wouldn’t be stop feeling that way until he explained why. “Jer?”

“Hmm?”

“You told Cash about your personal life, but you’ve never told me. Why?”

His eyes immediately moved to mine. “What did he tell you?

“Absolutely nothing. I asked him if he knew anything, and he said he did but would never tell me.”

He studied me. “I don’t understand why he said he knew anything to begin with.”

“Don’t get mad at him,” I said immediately. “In our agreement, we promised we would never lie to each other. So he had to answer my question truthfully, but he didn’t give up any of your secrets.”

Jeremy was tense. His shoulders were squared while he stared me down. Now I didn’t feel like his sister anymore. I was an enemy, an employee, someone who was in his way. “Let it go, Prudence.”

He never called me by my full name. It was always Pru. “Just tell me why you would tell Cash, a guy you hardly know, instead of your own blood?  He and I don’t even love each other. We’re getting divorced in a year. It doesn’t make any sense.”

Jeremy sighed. “If I don’t want to tell you something, I don’t have to. Knock it off.” The volume of his voice increased. He was going to blow any second. And my brother never lost his temper.

“Just tell me why. You don’t have to spill the details.”

Jeremy pushed his chair out as he rose to his feet. He leaned over the table and slammed his fists in the wood. “I don’t have to tell you anything. You lied to me about so many things! You hurt me when you took off without giving me your fucking
phone number. I don’t owe you a goddamn thing.”

I held back my tears. He never yelled at me like that before.

Jeremy immediately regretted his words as soon as he said them. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay…”

“Pru—”

“Forget it.” I left the chair and headed back to the staircase, hiding my face. I didn’t want him to see me cry. I was so sick of doing it.

Jeremy grabbed me from behind. “Wait.”

I still didn’t look at him. “I’m going to bed. I’m tired.”

“I’ll tell you.”

“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to.” I was still as curious as I was before but I wanted to give him an out. I didn’t want him to confide in me out of guilt.

“Sit down,” he said gently.

I stared at the staircase before I moved back to the kitchen table. He returned to his seat across from me. He gathered his thoughts for a moment before he spoke.

“Jeremy, you don’t have to tell me. I’m just trying to understand why told Cash instead of me.”

“I’ll start there.” He folded his hands on the table. I felt like we were in the middle of a conference. “Cash and I
are….very similar.”

Similar?

“He enjoys having relationships with women that mean nothing. I do as well. We’ve both been in the game for a long time, and we both have impressive scores. He understands me and I understand him. I knew he wouldn’t judge me, so I told him. Since you’re my sister, it’s different. You look up to me.  I would never ruin the image you have of me. That’s why I told Cash. And…he’s seen it first hand.”

“When?”

He averted his gaze. “He’s seen stuff in the house when you were sleeping.”

“Oh.”

“That’s why.”

It was a lot to process. I knew my brother wasn’t a virgin but I wasn’t sure what lifestyle he had. But to be honest, it made no difference. “Jeremy, it doesn’t matter what you do when no one’s around. I’ll still love you and respect you no matter what. When I told you I was sleeping with Cash because I didn’t want a relationship, you didn’t judge me. Why would I judge you?”

He shrugged. “I didn’t know how you’d react. We’re family.”

“You could be a gay prostitute and I would still think of you as my hero. And I would love you unconditionally.”

He smiled. “Well, it’s nothing extreme like that.”

“Jeremy, I want to know if you are willing to tell me. But if you want your privacy, I’ll respect it. Now that I know why you confided in Cash instead of me, I’m not upset. And I completely understand your decision.”

He rubbed his thumbs together while he looked at my face. I wasn’t sure what he’d decided. I couldn’t deny my curiosity, but he didn’t have to tell me anything. “As soon as I started college, my need began. I’d find a girl, flirt with her, take her back to my place, hit it and quit it. And the rest was history. I’ve been doing it for a long time and I’ve never had a relationship. That would require intimacy, trust, friendship—a lot of things I’m not willing to give. I’ve been with three women at once, mostly two. And I’ve been doing that my entire l life. Recently, I’ve come to realize I’m a sex addict. But no single woman can give me what I need. I’ve had over a hundred sexual partners, and I don’t intend to quit anytime soon.” He watched my face when he finished, examining my reaction.

Wow. I was not expecting that.
He hid everything so well. And that number was astounding. “Are you happy?”

“I love my life,” he said simply.

“If it makes you happy, I don’t care.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I mean it.”

“You don’t think less of me?”

“No.” I held his gaze and didn’t flinch. “If this is what you want, I’m not going to tell you otherwise. But I am concerned about the addict part.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, when you’re with someone you love, you’re satisfied but insatiable at the same time. Every desire and need you have is quenched by them, but you’re so connected to them you want more. Maybe if you found the right person, you wouldn’t be an addict anymore.”

“You speak from personal experience.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yes.”

“And you’re talking about Cash.” That wasn’t a question either.

“No…”

“Don’t lie to me,” he snapped. “I just opened up to you and
told you my darkest secret. Do not insult me with that bullshit.”

I flinched under his words. “We’re talking about you right now.”

“Tell him, Prudence. I mean it.”

I needed to get out of this. “Jeremy, when you find the right girl, everything will change.”

“Well, I’ve pretty much been with all of London and I haven’t found her.”

“Because you aren’t looking in the right places. Of course women at the bars aren’t going to be of any quality. They are stupid and go home with random strangers.”

“Isn’t that how you met Cash?” he asked with a smile.

“We went on many dates before anything happened.”

“It doesn’t matter.” He gave me a triumphant look.

“And I was the entertainment, not a customer. You need to look for them in better places. Have a friend set you up, or even do an online dating website.”

He shook his head. “I make too much money. I’ll never know if a girl loves me for me.”

“And you’ll definitely never know if you continue to do this.”

Jeremy didn’t have a response to that. And I knew it was because I was right.

“I’ll consider it.”

“That would be a good idea.” I leaned back in my chair and stared at my brother. I felt connected to him again. For a while, that closeness was severed because of his secret. But now we were back to normal.

Jeremy turned back to his computer and drank his coffee. I sat across from him in companionable silence. The stairs creaked behind me as Cash entered the kitchen. He came behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

“Baby, are you okay?”

“Yeah. I just couldn’t sleep.”

He buried his face in my neck. “I hated waking up without you next to me.”

“Now you know how I feel,” I said with smile.

“And I don’t want to,” he whispered.

I felt the warmth radiate through my body. “I’m sorry. I’ll come back to bed.” When I looked my brother, he gave me an intense look.
I knew what he was saying with his eyes, not his mouth. But I didn’t take his advice. Unlike him, I knew the outcome of the wrong choice.

Chapter Sixteen

♬

Cash Matthews

Prudence had a long goodbye with her brother at the airport. After repeated warnings over the intercom to board our flight, I had to
pull her away. If not, we’d miss it. Maybe that’s what she was trying to do.

“Baby, we need to go,” I said gently.

She hugged her brother and held him tightly. Her eyes were closed.

Jeremy rubbed her back gently. “I’ll be there soon. We won’t be apart long.”

“Why is this so hard every single time?”

He chucked. “It doesn’t have to be. If you don’t change your number or forget to call me, we can talk every day.”

She hit his arm. “Don’t tease me right now.”

I looked at my watch. We were cutting it close.

“Pru, I’ll be there soon.”

She nodded then pulled away. “If I live in America permanently, would you consider moving?”

I felt bad for Jeremy. She put him right on the spot. He took a deep breath while he stared at her. “I’d think about it.”

“You would?” Tears formed in her eyes.

“I said I’d think about it—nothing more.”

She jumped in his arms again. “I can’t do this without you. You’re my only family.”

“You have Cash now.”

“But that isn’t forever,” she whispered.

He leaned into her and said something. I couldn’t make it out. “You should go, Pru. Let me know when you land.”

“I will.”

“Okay.”

She stepped away and blinked her tears away. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They were the closest siblings I’d ever met. But after seeing Prudence’s life first-hand, I couldn’t blame her for relying on him so much.

Jeremy extended his hand to me. “I know you’ll take care of my sister.”

I nodded. “You don’t need to worry about her.” I shook it then reached for Prudence. She was still emotional. “And if you can’t get a hold of her you can always call me.”

“I might have to put a tracking device on her,” he teased.

Prudence rolled her eyes.

“You should go,” Jeremy said. “You’re going to be late.”

“Bye,
Jer,” she said.

I pulled her away before she could have another breakdown.

After we were sitting on the plane, she stared out the window and kept to herself. I knew she was upset so I let her be.

“Am I being crazy?” she whispered.

“No,” I said immediately. “You love your brother. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I don’t know if I can stay on another continent for the rest of my life, at least if he stays here.”

I held her hand. “See how things go then revisit that.”

She nodded.

♫

It was so nice to be home.

I unpacked our clothes and started the washer while Prudence salvaged the unspoiled food and cooked something for dinner. In the middle of our routine, it hit me how domesticated we were. We weren’t even married but we acted like it. It was so simple and easy with her. When I realized it wouldn’t always be this way, I wanted to put a barrel in my mouth and pull the trigger.

Prudence was still a little under the weather when we had dinner. She was quiet and poked her food with a fork. I watched her but didn’t pressure her. I knew she was upset.

“What are your plans for the week?” I asked.

She didn’t look at me. “I have a lot of work to do. I have a few interviews, a photo
shoot, an extended cd to record with two extra songs, boring stuff.”

“Boring?”

“Well, I’m not with you so it’s boring.”

I liked that response.

“What are your plans?”

“I have to play catch up at work too.”

“I’m sorry I hoarded so much of your time,” she said.

“You hoard all my time—but I don’t mind.” I smiled at her.

“That’s good to know.”

“You kno
w what I’m most excited for?” I asked.

“What?”

“Making love without having to be quiet.”

Her cheeks blushed red. “That does sound nice.”

“You can scream my name all you want. We’ll leave the windows open so our neighbors will hear.”

“Our neighbors?”

“Yes. Our.”

She nibbled on a strip of asparagus. “I need to get used to that. We need to get a
prenup and start planning this wedding. We should do something small.”

“How about we do it here? On the beach?”

Her eyes lit up. “That sounds amazing.”

I loved seeing the happiness flood her face. It made me want to make her happy over and over again. “And I don’t want a
prenup.”

“What?” she blurted.

“But we need to get one for you.”

She looked confused. “I’m not following.”

“By the end of the marriage, I’m sure you’ll be worth more than me. We’ll have to make sure we protect all your assets so nothing stupid happens in the divorce.”
I hated talking about this.

“Oh.”

“Obviously, we aren’t going to fight over each other’s wealth, but it makes things easier. I don’t think we should combine our bank accounts. I have a feeling Clark can’t check that.”

“Okay.”

“And you need to learn how to drive that fancy car I got you.”

“Oh yeah,” she said excitedly. “And everyone will move out of the way because they’ll know it’s me.”

I smiled. “Yep.”

We talked about our wedding plans and all the tedious paperwork we had to do. She and I were both so busy that it would make it hard to accomplish in a short amount of time. We may have to hire a wedding planner.

After dinner, I washed the dishes and cleaned the table. When I was finished, Prudence was already gone. The sound of a piano caught my attention. It was light and quiet, almost unnoticeable. I knew who the culprit was.

I walked into the parlor and opened the door. While we were gone, I had a profession
al redecorate the room. The walls were replaced with floor to ceiling glass that was tinted on the outside. It faced the ocean so she could see the beach.

Ever
y instrument I thought she’d ever need was installed inside. It contained a drum set, a piano, a guitar, a bass, and of course, a bassoon. Now she had her own music room.

She sat at the piano and admired everything. Tears were in her eyes and I knew how much she loved it. She hadn’t noticed me yet so I took the opportunity to stare at her. She was speechless.

I finally stepped inside, looking nonchalant. “You like it?”

“Oh my god…”

“I take that as a yes.” I approached the piano and stood beside it.

She looked at me with new eyes. “I can’t believe you did this…”

“You’re going to live here. You need an office.”

“But…I don’t know what to say.”

I sat on the bench beside her. “You don’t have to say anything.”

Prudence gripped my face and kissed me hard. Her kiss was different, forceful. She slipped her tongue into my mouth and touched mine. The intensity of her longing and her scorching desire made me burn. She maneuvered into my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck, still kissing me.

I knew I’d get some serious loving for my gift, but I wasn’t expecting this. She wanted it—right here and right now. Her fingers moved into my hair while she sucked my bottom lip. Then she undressed me.

She was more needy than usual. Her fingers unbuttoned my shirt with lightning speed and pulled it off. Then she kissed my chest and neck while her fingers moved to the top of my jeans. Her enthusiasm made me hot. I stripped her clothes away just as quickly.

When we were naked, I placed her on the keys of the piano. Her ass hung over the edge but I held her in place. I’d never had sex on this piano because I got it after I met Prudence. I wanted something to make her stay with me.

She widened her legs and held onto me so she wouldn’t fall. But that was unnecessary because I’d always catch her. The back of her head rested on the top of the piano, tilted back. I leaned over her and grasped her ass. Then I slipped inside her, feeling the slickness I loved so much. She moaned loudly, drowning out the sound of the keys as her ass moved against them.

I moved into hard and fast right from the beginning. I didn’t know what we were doing. Fucking? Making love? I couldn’t tell you. It was a whole new level between us. All I knew was that it was my first time. The unstoppable need coursed through me. I had to be connected to Prudence like it was a command.

Prudence gripped my shoulders and pulled herself into me, moving just as fast as I was. We were sweating and moaning
immediately, loving the feel of our bodies touching each other. She was so wet and tight at the same time. It normally made me come, but not now. That didn’t matter. I just had to be with her.

“Cash…Cash…” Her hand slid to my ass and pulled me deeper inside her. “No guy has ever made me come so much…”

She knew all the right things to say. “And there are so many more orgasms I still need to give you.”

She bit her lip
while she moaned.

I moved into her harder. “Don’t be quiet.”

Her nails dug into me. “Fuck.”

I knew she was about to explode when she clenched around me t
ightly, making me cock feel even better. But I powered through and didn’t let myself give into the pleasure I was giving her.

“Yes…yes.”

I loved hearing that. Her face was so beautiful when she came. And it looked even better knowing I was the man responsible for it. Her head rolled back as her moment passed.

She rocked into me harder from below. “Cash, come inside me.”

I couldn’t hold on when she talked liked that. “Fuck…”

“Come on…you’re the only one who ever has.”

That was the trigger. I had one of the most intense orgasms I ever had. I gripped her tightly as my cocked twitched and exploded. I filled her with more seed than I usually did. I still rocked into her gently even when I was done, trying to catch my breath.

Prudence gripped my face and kissed me—hard. “You’re so amazing.”

“You’re amazing,” I whispered.

She wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. “That was incredible…”

“I’m glad you liked it.”

She kissed me again. “Now I’m ready for bed.”

I pulled her to my chest then carried her into our bedroom upstairs. After we got into bed, she cuddled with me, her entire body molded to mine. Somehow, our relationship changed after we came home. We were different than we ever were before. But I had no idea why.

♫

Dean picked up Prudence early the next morning because she had a lot of things to do. Fortunately, I got to stay home because we weren’t filming for a few days. I let that fact slip my mind. It was a good thing I was the executive producer. Otherwise, I’d been fired a long time ago.

I stayed in the kitchen and worked on my laptop. The scent of Prudence was strong in my house so it was hard not to think about her every other minute. I fantasized about her hair and imagined taking her on the piano again.
Man, that felt good.

I wondered what she was doing with Dean. Since Prudence and I were closer than we were before, I tried to let the jealousy I felt toward Dean disappear.
He even said he’d never love her, and she clearly wouldn’t love him. They were business partners and I had to accept that relationship. And being jealous wouldn’t be productive. Besides, I trusted Prudence. She could have easily gone on a date with Gavin and taken the easier route. But she didn’t because she refused to be with anyone but me. And that meant the world to me.

A knock on the door disrupted my thoughts. But I wasn’t being productive anyway so the interruption wasn’t much a
n inconvenience. Since Prudence wouldn’t knock, I was disappointed she didn’t come home from work early. More than likely, it was someone I didn’t want to talk to, especially since the only person I really loved to be around was Prudence.

I looked through the peephole before I opened the door. It was Sharon.

What the hell?
Why is she here? I decided not to answer it. She would probably assume I was at work.

“Cash, open the door.”

Damn. What did she want?

“I’ll stay out here all day.”

I wouldn’t doubt it. I cringed then opened the door.

“It’s hard to act like you aren’t home when your car is in the driveway—next to one that says MRSCASH on the license plate.” She put her hand on her hip and glared at me.

“What do you want?” I snapped.

“Geez, you’re rude. Can I come in?”

“No.”

“Your fiancé isn’t home so I don’t see what the problem is.”