A smile dusts his lips. “It’s nice to meet you, Kylie.” His voice is low, husky, and tickles a path through my body.
He holds out his hand, and I stand there like a dumb ass. The only thought running through my head is that I knew one of my casual hook ups would come back to bite me in the ass eventually.
Holy crap. I’m in way over my head here.
I raise a shaky hand and try to force a smile. “It’s nice to meet you too, Nathaniel.”
The air in the room is charged, tense, and I can’t imagine what’s going through Cooper’s head, let alone those of the other men in the room. I want to throw up and crawl under the rug.
This can’t be happening.
I feel a hand on the small of my back, and I look into Grayson’s aqua eyes.
“Why don’t we go ahead and get this started?” He must see the stress painted across my face because he places his arm over my shoulder and guides me to my seat.
Everyone follows suit, and soon Cooper’s voice goes through the various stages of our proposal. I keep my eyes on the papers in front of me to avoid a certain gaze burning through me.
My thoughts go from irritated at myself to mortified. I’m not some wall flower. I’ve had my share of business hook ups, and Cooper knows about them, but this is different. We’ve been working on this for two years. It’s the only thing that’s been a constant in our relationship. Work, work and more work.
This is his dream. He comes from an affluent family, but Coop wants to make his own way without using the family name and money. I totally support that. After we lost Kayla, we cut family out. His parents play no role in our lives, and neither do mine. They’ve given us money, but we choose not to use it and support ourselves.
We own a successful insurance office, and we need capital to expand our one office into two. That’s where Nate’s company comes in. If we can expand into Key West, be successful, and make Accelerated Investments a profit, then we can expand into other states one office at a time. The goal is to have offices all over the country.
But now I’ve created a problem. I fucked the key investor instead of seducing his minions. If I’ve messed this up and he decides not to invest, Cooper’s dream will be delayed. And if Cooper’s unhappy, then our marriage will be worse off than it is now.
The odd thing is, I thought Cooper saw him last night at the bar, and he made no move to stop me. Maybe he didn’t get a clear view of who was next to me. Was he so involved with Blondie and pissing me off that he totally missed Nate? There’s no way he would have let me go with him. I know Cooper, and even though we’re both damaged, we do try to draw some lines.
A swell of panic trickles through my blood like the drip from a tap. If Nate decides I’m a skanky bitch, then Cooper’s deal could be ruined.
I can’t breathe.
Nate didn’t seem stunned when introductions were made. No, he seemed… almost knowing. I’m confused. Did Cooper not see us? The lighting was muted. But I saw Cooper. I saw him clearly.
If I’m being honest, I always see Cooper. If he was sitting in a dark room, I’d know where he was. I’m so keyed in to what he’s doing that I could make him out in a crowd of hundreds. Things between us are broken, but I know without a doubt that I love him with all that’s in me. I always have.
I’m so lost in my thoughts that I miss my name being called until I feel hot breath fan against my ear.
“Hey sweet cheeks, you’re up.” Gray’s gentle whisper catches my attention.
I look up and notice him trying to read me.
God, I love him. My sweet Grayson.
He winks and smiles. I turn my gaze from him and look at everyone at the table. All eyes are on me.
Deep breath, Kylie.
I give a small nod and move toward Cooper. My heart beats rapidly, and all thought of what the hell I’m supposed to do vanishes. Nausea curls in my stomach and sweat beads on my forehead. Anxiety stops me cold when I get to his side. He looks annoyed, but also slightly concerned.
Does he not know? Oh my God, I don’t think he knows.
I feel myself turn white. What if I’ve fucked up the whole thing? My heart seizes. My breathing becomes labored, and my hand goes to my chest. My vision blurs.
I can’t breathe.
“Kylie, baby, you okay?” Cooper asks, looking confused.
“No.” I choke as my world spins, and the anxiety doubles. I close my eyes and take small, panting breaths.
Cooper grabs me, pulling me against him. I feel his warmth wrap around me as he tries to figure out what’s going on. The room becomes crazy, a frenzy of activity as they urge me to sit down.
Oh God… I strain against my mind, willing it to calm. This is not good. I feel tears slip down my face.
Cooper squats and takes my cheeks between his hands. “You’re okay, everything’s fine. Try taking some deeper breaths.”
I try to calm myself by putting my head between my legs and following his orders.
Shit
Shit
Shit
I really messed up. I groan inwardly, wanting to die. I’ve let him down
again
. I look at Cooper and try to apologize the only way I know. I place my palm on his cheek and mouth, “I’m sorry.”
I’m so sorry for repeatedly destroying his life. He flinches away, and I want to scream. I swallow my emotions and force myself to settle down. After a couple of minutes, my nerves calm, and I stand slowly. I look at all the concerned eyes in the room.
“God, I’m sorry. I think I ate something bad
last night
.” I flick my eyes to Nate whose face is covered in a smirk. “I need to go lay down. Cooper will finish the presentation with Calia’s assistance. Again, I’m so sorry.”
I look at Cali in the far corner of the room. My eyes bulge, and she snaps into action, asking if she can get anybody beverages or snacks. I can’t move. I’m so embarrassed. I force my feet forward. With my head hung low, I throw things in my bag.
Gray comes up behind me and leans over my shoulder. “I’ll take you to your room.”
“Oh no, you don’t need to do that,” I say quickly, averting my eyes from his.
He turns my face toward his, giving me a no-nonsense look. “Don’t test me, Kylie.”
I know better than to argue with Grayson Walsh, so I just nod, grab my stuff, and let him lead me out. I look back one last time. Cooper’s face, which had a hint of concern earlier, looks angry and frustrated. His eyes hold so much resentment. I swallow and look at Nate. He gives me a full-fledged smirk and turns to whisper in Lindin’s ear. Lindin looks at me, brows furrowed, and sits back down. I don’t bother looking at Jason, afraid of what I might see. I rush out of the room, hoping Cali can pick up my slack.
The moment the cool lobby air hits my face, I feel as though I can breathe. I almost run to my room. I’m getting out of here. I plan to pack up and head home to Tampa before this nightmare of a day is over. I’m so busy planning my escape that when I get into the elevator, I forget Gray’s with me.
“Do you wanna tell me what that was about?” His face is blank, but his eyes hold a mountain of concern.
“Not really,” I whisper, pressing the button for the twelfth floor.
He smiles weakly and quirks a brow. “Come on, you can’t leave me hanging. Tell me what’s going on. You know I won’t judge you. I need to know what’s going through that gorgeous head of yours.”
I let out a breath and feel stress swarm through my body again. “Seriously, you don’t want to know. I messed up big time. I can’t even imagine what Cooper’s thinking right now.” Tears try to force their way out of my eyes, but I hold them back.
“I know you, Kylie,” he says. “I see through you. I know what you’re trying to do and I love you anyway. Nothing you could tell me is going to affect us. How long have we been friends? How many times have I picked you up? Cleaned you up? Tell me what that was about.” His face becomes hard, unflinching. He’s not going to let this go.
I curse inwardly and close my eyes, leaning back against the cool mirrored surface. Damn Grayson always needs to know every freaking detail. I sigh as loud as I can, hoping he hears my irritation. As I open my eyes and mouth, I’m saved by the ding of the elevator. He follows me to my suite where I fumble with my key card. I’m so exhausted and nervous that I can’t seem to get the damn thing in the slot. His hand rests on mine, sliding the key out of my fingers and inserting it in the door. With his palm pressed to the small of my back, he ushers me into the suite.
I move straight to my bedroom. I chuck off my heels and earrings, dropping them along the way. I just want to close my eyes and undo the day, undo last night. I get to the bed, crawl under the cool down comforter, and curl around a pillow. A moment later Gray comes in, slips off his shoes and climbs in on the other side, facing me. He stares at me for a while, not saying much. The way he studies me has my insides softening. His eyes trace my features as he tries to figure me out. Silence stretches densely around the room.
I close my eyes, breathing deep, and open my mouth to confess my stupid mistake, but still as Gray brushes the pad of his thumb along my lips.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay,” he says. “Just remember you’ve been through worse. You’ve been to hell and back. Whatever this is, it’s just another blip on your journey.”
“This is bad,” I whisper. “Cooper’s going to be so angry. Shit, he’s already angry with me. I’m scared that this is just going to push him further away. I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder if he loves me anymore.”
“Stop, of course he loves you. He’s just fucked up. He doesn’t know what to do with you and how to fix it. But he loves you.”
“You have no idea what I did last night.”
“Then tell me,” he urges. “I want to be there for you. Look, you know I love Coop. We’ve been best friends forever, but he’s not the only one hurting, Ky. Watching you like this, seeing you going through the same thing all the time, makes me angry. I hate seeing you hate yourself. Tell me what happened.”
I roll to my back and look at the ceiling. An internal war ignites my head as I debate whether or not to fess up. Gray knows all my secrets, all my indiscretions, but telling him this feels dirty, wrong. I’ve turned into some desperate child screaming for attention, and I can’t stand it. I want to pull myself together and try to fix my marriage, but I can’t. I can’t because I don’t know how. Maybe it’s time I start fixing myself instead. I’m running my heart into the ground.
“I did something last night.” My whisper conveys the brokenness inside me, my confusion. “I just… I don’t know, I was mad and lonely. Cooper hadn’t talked to me at all yesterday. I knew he had landed; I knew he was here.” I let out a distressed breath. “I wanted a text from him, but one never came. I should’ve just texted him first, but I was being stubborn. I was upset. So I went out. I went to the bar downstairs. I just… Shit, I know this sounds bad, but I wanted a warm body.” I let out another deep breath, my body trembling. “I went to the bar looking for a man. This pattern is killing my marriage, but I’m addicted to the feeling of a man wanting me. I like feeling special and needed.”
He moves closer, wrapping his arms around my body and pulling me against his chest. “It’s okay.” He kisses the top of my head.
“I got there and saw Cooper with this…” I groan. “God, Gray, he was with this beautiful blonde girl. She was so much prettier than me, and I got mad. It’s stupid. It’s ridiculous, because this is normal for us. Getting mad is absurd.” I expel an unsteady breath. “Anyway, this guy sat next to me. He seemed like a perfect distraction for the night, so I left with him.”
I look up at Gray. He gazes at me, his forehead pinching in confusion. I know what he’s thinking: that I’ve left with plenty of guys
.
“Okay, what’s the punch line? I’m not getting it.”
My bottom lip trembles as disgust rolls through me. “I… I fucked Nate Richards last night, Grayson. He was the guy I picked up and I didn’t just fuck him once. I did it multiple times,” I confess.
Gray’s silence is deafening. His grip around me tightens, and he curses under his breath.
I knew it.
This is bad. Stress eats at my insides, causing cramps to shoot straight through me. “God,” I moan. “I’m such a disaster.”
“No, you’re not,” he says firmly. “I’ll fix this. I’ll talk with Nate. It’s going to be fine. But damn, Kylie, out of all the men in the world, you had to choose that piece of shit? I work with the guy, and he’s an ass.”