A Blast from the Past (A Second Chance Romance) (14 page)

I
tightened my grip on his back even more and thrust my hips against
his. We couldn't get any closer if we tried. My mouth went to his
neck, and I sucked it hard to try to silence my moans. He pumped into
me so deep and hard. When he hit that perfect spot I knew it wouldn't
be long. I held him tight and bit down on his shoulder and his body
shook.

"Fuck,"
he cried out. "You're going to destroy me, baby."

Something
happened, and he thrust into me so hard and deep. I flew over the
edge and screamed his name. My moans mixed together and everything
went dark as I came around his cock so damn hard. He growled out my
name and pumped into me hard as he filled me over and over.

His
body came down on mine, and I held onto him so tight. I was so afraid
to let him go. We were both covered in sweat. The cool air felt so
good on my skin. When he rolled to the side and our connection was
lost, I was so afraid he was going to leave.

He
reached over and grabbed a blanket to cover us. I stayed beside him
with my head against his chest, as I traced each muscle with my
finger. He had one arm behind his head and the other around me.

"We
need to talk," he said.

"No,"
I said. "I'm not losing this moment. I can't lose this moment."

When
I looked up at his eyes, I could see him looking up at the stars.

"I
never told you this, but you were my first," he said.

"Shut
up," I said with a laugh. "Do not lie to me, Z. I wasn't
blind you know. Those girls were always chasing your ass around. You
know you were my first. I knew better than to think I was yours. I
knew you had been with several girls. You don't think they bragged
about it with each other. I got sick of hearing about it."

He
brought his arm from behind his head and took my chin in his hand. He
held it still and looked into my eyes.

"You
were my first, Livie," he said. "I was so damn nervous that
night. When I heard him talking shit, I knew I needed to make sure
you were okay. I saw you out here and knew I wasn't waiting a moment
longer to have you. I will never forget that night. It was one of the
best moments of my life."

"Seriously?"
I asked. "Are you telling me the truth?"

"I've
never lied to you, Livie," he said. "I never will."

His
fingers ran up and down my arm. When he began tracing the scar on my
arm, I knew he was going to ask.

"Tell
me about your life, Z," I said, trying to avoid it for as long
as I could.

"There's
not much to tell. I work, pick up food on the way home, and workout,"
he said. "That's about it."

"What
about the ladies?" I asked. "There is no way you're alone
with a body like that. I bet they are just like they were in high
school."

"I
don't want to talk about that," he said. "I don't do
relationships. I'm not interested in being tied down. I'm not proud
of myself. I don't want you to think I am. I meet up with a woman
when I want to go out for a night or when I feel the need to be with
someone. I don't get connected to any of them. They don't sleep over,
and I don't stay with them. You're the only one I've ever slept next
to. I've never done anything unprotected before. I'm always safe. I'm
clean. I know it sounds bad. I've never found anyone in New York I've
wanted to build a relationship with."

I
was trying to comprehend what he was saying. That woman I saw him
with was just a booty call or something. She wasn't his woman.

"The
girl I saw you with?" I asked.

He
nodded.

"We
were just going out for the day. I can't believe it was really you.
When I looked again, you were gone. I thought I had imagined it like
all the other times. You were everywhere I went, Livie. When I found
out you were marrying him, I went off the deep end for a few weeks.
It took all I had not fly back here and drag you off with me. I knew
I couldn't do it. You had chosen him. My mom told me how in love you
were. It broke my heart."

"Your
mom told you I was in love with him?" I asked. "She was the
one that was pushing me to be with him. I didn't even want to date
him, but her and my mom kept telling me to just give him a chance. He
wasn't the one I wanted. I thought your mom was looking out for me.
I've thought that all these years. I can't believe it. When I found
out he was going to propose, I had so many doubts. I wanted to go to
you. I had this crazy thought that you would pour your heart out to
me and tell me you wanted me. We'd live happily forever. When I got
back home from seeing you with her, it didn't even matter anymore.
Mike was nice to me. He didn't treat me like my dad treated my mom. I
accepted his proposal. There was no reason not to. I shouldn't have
done it. I know that now. At the time, I didn't care. It would get me
away from my dad. He had a home and a job. Your mom even told me he
was the best I was going to get. What more could I ask for? He was
probably my best option, so I accepted and married him. It wasn't
until later that I realized I would've been better off alone than
with my best option."

I
could feel the tension in his chest. When I moved to get up, he
pulled me closer and held me tight.

"We're
not done talking," he said.

I
wasn't sure he was prepared to hear the truth about what he was going
to ask me. There were things he didn't know. Z was always protective
of me. I wasn't sure how he was going to react.

Zander

The
more I traced her scar with my finger, the more I knew I needed to
know what happened. She needed me, and I wasn't there. I thought
everything was going well for her and her family and had no idea she
was getting a divorce. The thought of what caused the scar scared the
shit out of me. It looked like it was a deep wound. Who would have
done that? Was it an accident? Could Mike have done something on
purpose? I couldn't stand the what if's that were running through my
head.

When
I found out she was marrying him, I knew I couldn't hear her talk
about him and how happy she was. Don't get me wrong, I was happy for
her. She had found someone she loved, and my mom said he made her
happy. I just didn't want her to tell me how amazing he was. I
thought if I cut her off, I would be able to get over her and move
on. It didn't work. She was always on my mind.

"Where
did this come from?" I asked.

Her
body tightened up in my arms. I had to know. If it was Mike, I wasn't
sure I could take it.

"It's
nothing," she said.

"Don't
lie to me Livie," I said.

"Can't
we just enjoy this time?" she asked. "It's in the past, Z."

"I
wasn't here. I need to know. Was it Mike?" I asked.

"Do
you really want to know?" she asked, and I nodded.

When
she pulled out of my hold, I held her tighter.

"Let
me up," she said. "I need to be sitting up when I talk
about this."

Oh
shit! What the hell happened to her, I wondered?

"Promise
not to run," I demanded.

"I
won't run," she said. "You know how they say girls look for
men like their fathers?"

I
nodded and released my hold for her to sit up.

"I
was looking for the opposite of mine," she began. "I used
to tell you my dad was mean to my mom and sometimes to me?"

"Yes,"
I answered.

"You
just told me something about your past. I'm going to be honest about
mine."

I
nodded again. What could she be talking about, I asked myself.

"There
were times I would step in between my parents when my dad was hitting
my mom," she said.

I
wrapped my arms around her waist afraid of what I was about to hear.

"Some
of those times, I got hit instead of her. He didn't like when I got
in front of her. If I did, I got it instead."

"What?"
I asked. "How did I not know about this?"

"Do
remember those times I was sick and took a few days off? My mom
wouldn't let me go those days. I had to wait for the marks to go away
before I could go back. She didn't want people to talk. It would
embarrass her. That was what she would say. I never understood why
she stayed. Your dad said stuff to you, but he never hit anybody. My
dad did. I know now that my mom had no place to go. She stayed so I
had a roof over my head. She always told me to stay out of the way or
come out here if he was doing that, but there were times I just
couldn't take it."

By
the time she was done, I was up next to her with my arms around her.
I felt the emotions run through my body even though I tried to
control them. I didn't want to upset her. If I did, I would never get
as far as the scar. I had a feeling what she was telling me was
leading up to that.

"Your
mom let him hit you. She never took you away. How could you not have
told me, Livie? You were my best friend."

"What
was I supposed to say? I wasn't at school because my dad hit me.
People didn't just talk about that stuff. What if the school found
out? What if they took me from them? I wouldn't have had you anymore.
I was worried if I told you, you wouldn't talk to me anymore. There
was no way I could have lost you. You were the only one I had. You
were my everything, Z."

I
took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"The
only reason I'm telling you now is that it doesn't matter anymore. We
aren't best friends, and we don't talk. I lost you anyway. You're
going to leave and go back to New York, and I'm going to be here
running my bakery."

I
put my forehead against hers.

"Livie,"
I said.

"What?"
she asked.

"Tell
me about your arm."

"Do
you promise not to say anything to anyone?" she asked.

"How
can I do that?" I asked. "You haven't told me. I can't
promise you that."

"Look,
Z," she said. "When you leave, I'm still here. Everyone
around me will still be the same people. I can't have you flying off
the handle and causing a scene. If you went to jail, your mother
would never forgive me. I still have to live this life while you're
off doing your thing."

"Fine,"
I snapped. "Tell me."

She
looked down and refused to look into my eyes.

"I
married Mike to get away from my dad. He had a house and a job. I
thought he was fine. He never got mad while we dated or anything. The
first years of our marriage were fine I guess. Then I got pregnant
and had April. Things were okay. I worked at the bakery a few hours a
week. It wasn't much. He wanted me to work more, but I wanted to be
home with her. When I got pregnant with Jack, he was mad. He said he
didn't want another child so quickly. I hadn't planned it or anything
like that. It happened. The doctor said something about me being on
antibiotics and my pills not working. Mike blamed me. He was no peach
to live with, but he was far from my father. After I came home with
Jack, things began to change. He insisted I work more hours. My mom
came to our house to watch the kids. It gave her something to do. She
could think about something besides my father passing away."

She
let out a long breath before continuing.

"He
expected me to work, keep the house perfect, and have a nice dinner
waiting for him when he walked in from work. It wasn't possible. He
was yelling more than he had before. I noticed he had also been
drinking more, which upset me. I was working more hours for him to
blow it on alcohol, but I never said anything. One night, he came
home all pissy about something that happened at work. Dinner wasn't
ready yet. I had just fed Jack. He was only seven months old and
needed to eat. Mike got mad and stormed back out. When he came back,
the kids were in bed. He took a beer from the fridge and sat down at
the table. I heated up his food and set it in front of him. He took
one bite and threw the plate across the room. It shocked me, and
tears streamed down my face. When he turned to me, I saw something
different about him. He slammed his beer down on the table, and the
bottle broke. Without a word, he was out of his chair and had me back
against the wall. He started yelling about his food being cold and me
being a horrible wife. His arm was up against my throat the same way
you were holding him before. I reached up to grab his arm because I
couldn't breathe. When I grabbed him, he reached up and slid that
bottle across my arm. I think he was trying to grab me away from him
so he could hold me there. I'm not sure he even realized he was
cutting me."