100 Perks of Having Cancer: Plus 100 Health Tips for Surviving It (35 page)

Perk #35

Early Menopause

H
ey, I know what you are thinking, ladies:

What is so perky about early menopause?
Those

were my thoughts exactly when my oncologist

told me about “chemopause”: a side effect of

chemo that causes the womanly cycle to come to

an abrupt halt. Sitting in the pretty young doc-

tor’s office with Shawn by my side (very early

into our relationship), I couldn’t help but blush

as she told us the likely side effects: mood

swings, hot flashes, loss of libido, weight gain,

and no more monthly periods (well, that part I

was looking forward to). I would not have been

the least bit surprised if my new love had sud-

denly bolted out the door, but I’m glad he decided to stick around. Sure

enough, chemopause kicked in soon after treatments began, but fortunately

my only unpleasant symptom was hot flashes—a small price to pay to get

rid of the dreaded monthly visitor.

Many moons ago, while I was still married, I whined to my best friend

that my hubby turned into a complete villain once a month, purposely

doing things like slurping his soup in an attempt to drive me bonkers. In

fact, when I thought about it, it seemed that everyone around me got kind

of crazy at that time. “Does this happen at the same time every month?”

my wise friend asked. “Yeah, usually just before my period,” I confided. Ah,

it suddenly dawned on me; they weren’t trying to make me crazy. I had PMS.

But those days are behind me now. As an added perk of chemopause, I no

longer turn into a demon once a month.

Chemopause is not all bad. Just think of the perks:

no more periods and no more PMS.

I 138 J

Perk #35: Early Menopause

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HEALTH TIP #35

No More Living in a “Healthy Cage”

Y
ou must not eat any meat. You must eat broccoli every day. You must

never raise your voice. You must be crazy if you think you’ll find any of

these statements in this book!

If you think of french fries when I say “vegetable,” and the thought of

exercise makes you want to cry, you’re not alone. Changing everything you

do, eat, and think every day is a tall order. And since we humans don’t fare

well with change of any kind, trying to stick to your “healthy living plan”

can be like living in a dungeon for some.

Here’s something to remember: when making a healthy living plan, you

must consider your happiness.

Eating seaweed and drinking turmeric tea may not be the thing that gets

you to your happy place; however, you should be willing to try some new

things to see if you can work them into your plan. Your healthy lifestyle

should never be stagnant but should be an ever changing, evolving process;

evolving to the healthiest lifestyle possible for you.

Eating a plant-based diet, exercising four to five times a week, and med-

itating daily will help you feel better and fight illness, but if abstaining from

that burger while all your friends are devouring theirs makes you feel trapped

and causes anxiety, then go ahead and eat the burger. It’s better to be happy

eating the burger than to be miserable by not eating it. But maybe the next

time you want that burger, allow yourself the idea of exploring other options,

like a black bean burger. And when trying said black bean burger, try not to

put any negative labels on it, like “I have to eat this dumb thing instead of

the burger I love.” Instead try to think, “I can still have the burger occasionally

if I want it, but I’m going to try this to see if I feel better when I eat this one.”

Of course, you don’t have to say these things out loud.

Here’s an anecdotal story, so take it for what it’s worth. About four

months into taking the medication for post–breast cancer treatment (the

aromatase inhibiter, Femara) I started to get terrible joint pain and swelling.

When I woke up in the morning, I literally could not walk. It would take

me about twenty minutes or so to loosen up and walk normally. I was a

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100 Perks of Having Cancer

forty-one-year-old with ninety-year-old joints. When I went to see the

acupuncturist for a tune up, he suggested I cut down on dairy as that can

seriously affect joint inflammation.

Now I loved my cow’s milk. I mean LOVED it. I loved it on cereal, I loved it

in shakes, I loved it in my tea—and what the heck was I going to dunk my choco-

late chip cookies in? I probably was drinking a quart of cow’s milk every day.

But it was
skimmed milk,
so in cardiac nurse terms, I thought I was eating healthy.

So I heard his “no milk” advice and tucked it in the back of my head.

(
Way
back there, along with learning how to play the harp someday.) But

the pain kept getting worse. Finally, when I had to hold on

Seek out new, healthy

to things to walk after getting out of bed in the morning, I

lifestyle changes

made the decision to give up milk for two weeks to see what

without losing your

would happen. I switched to unsweetened almond milk,

“happy place,” but

after tasting the various options, and I tried not to look at

realize what makes

that beautiful white jug sitting there beckoning to me in the

you happy now may

fridge. The first day was frustrating, but after one week, I was

change in the future.

accepting it, and, after two weeks, my joints started to feel a

lot better, but I wasn’t even noticing that because the gastric

bloating and stomach pains I had been living with had disappeared! That’s

when I was hooked. And that’s when I was able to work on getting all dairy,

such as cheese, yogurt, and ice cream out of my diet and out of my life. It

was a process, but because I kept feeling better, it reinforced my choices.

And with dairy, because of the proteins and other substances that make

you crave it, it took about four weeks until I just plain didn’t want it any-

more. I never realized how good I could feel, and I didn’t realize how dairy

was affecting my body until I stopped it. After doing more research and

discovering that casein (the protein in dairy) could contribute to develop-

ing more cancer, my mind was made up and I never looked back.

My point is, I tried this change for my health and I am happy with my

choice. I’m not regretting it every time I pour almond milk on my cereal,

and, in the end, I’m not following the advice of anyone but myself—my

well-informed self.

Recently, I was reading about seaweed and all its benefits. Costco was actu-

ally sampling seaweed salad the other day. Someday I will be ready for that

seaweed salad, but not today. And I’m happy with that choice . . . for now.

Perk #36

Cancer Streamlined

My Christmas Shopping

I
had my sixth and final chemo in December 2011, shortly before Christ-

mas, and it was by far the toughest one. For days I was mostly confined

to my bed, with my dear little Patches never leaving my side. I found myself

drifting in and out of stages of sleep and wakefulness, never knowing

whether it was daytime or nighttime. My energy was at an all-time low. I

recall wanting to go to sleep one evening, but my bedside lamp was on,

keeping me awake. All I could do was look at the lamp and wish that I had

enough energy to reach over and turn it off. Calling out to someone to help

was out of the question. Even talking was too much work for me! I dreaded

for anyone to ask me a question because that meant I had to search my

dazed mind for an answer, and then speak the words, which left me feeling

exhausted. I would always muster up enough energy in the evenings, how-

ever, to sit and eat with my family, ensuring that I was giving my body good

nutrition to keep up my strength.

Needless to say, as Christmas approached, I had no shopping done.

There wasn’t a present to be found in the house (except stuff for my kiddies,

which I had ordered online). And the strange thing was, I was as cool as a

cucumber about it. After all, who was going to say anything if they didn’t

get a present from me that year? I mean really, how would it look if someone

complained that their sister/friend/girlfriend/daughter with CANCER did

not buy them a gift? So, they could call me a Scrooge if they wanted but

they would only be making themselves look bad.

Christmas shopping can add unnecessary stress to your life when you

are dealing with cancer. People will understand if you take a year off.

(And if they don’t, they are only making themselves look bad.)

I 141 J

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100 Perks of Having Cancer

HEALTH TIP #36

How to Eat Healthy Around the Holidays

and Not Seem Like a Health Freak

S
tick sugar and fat in my face enough times, and it’s likely to be gobbled

up eventually. That’s the danger when you’re attending parties, holiday

or otherwise. Going to a party with all that food sitting out is like being

locked in a food fun house . . . distorted evil sights, sounds, and smells . . .

colorful bubbling poison drinks . . . little spiked weenies being shoved in