ZYGRADON (14 page)

"Pretending to be sick so you can stay in bed all day and study."

"Not pretending." She stuck her lower lip out in a pout for a moment. That
fever brightness in her eyes changed to the glee that she showed just for him. "You're
home! We'll have such fun this winter. Tell me about the boy?"

"What boy?" Mrillis sighed, feeling a few notches of tension slip away. This was
Ceera as usual. Her body had turned traitor with weakness, but her mind hadn't slowed
down. As usual, he felt as if he had missed several steps in the conversation.

"The enchanter's son."

Mrillis bit his lip against an angry retort. Why did she want to learn about
Endor? It surprised him to feel anger twisting his gut. Then he laughed at himself. The
other boys on Wynystrys would tease him and say he was jealous. And that was just
ridiculous.

He still saw most girls as a nuisance, but Mrillis understood that boys liked girls
when they got older. Boys who threw mud at girls and stole their kittens and sweets
eventually tried to persuade the same girls to marry them--things changed when boys
and girls grew older. That was the way the Estall made people.

He supposed the idea of ever being jealous over Ceera struck him as ridiculous
because he knew, deep inside, he and Ceera would always be each other's closest friend.
They would always be together. They knew it, with no need to ask or talk about
it.

Mrillis felt a dropping sensation in his belly at the sudden image of Ceera
standing with him before a Star Mother, hands clasped, making vows. Marry Ceera? He
hadn't even earned his first sword yet, or learned to use the Threads that spun across the
land, or figured out how to take away the poison in star-metal, or even started to study
the prophecy Breylon and Le'esha had just shared with him. Those were important things
he had to do. When would he have time to marry anyone?

That was in the far distant future. Mrillis took a deep breath and hoped he
didn't look as pale as he felt. He wasn't going to worry about the future. He would just
do what the Estall had given him to do
now
. He still had a few weeks until his
tenth birthing day, after all.

"Endor is just a boy." He shrugged and snagged at straws of ideas swirling
through the whirlpool of his unsettled thoughts. "What about his sisters? They're here,
aren't they?"

"Yes." Ceera scowled and hunched her shoulders.

"What's wrong?"

"Nainan is a nasty snake." She shivered and scrambled to wrap her blankets
around herself, as if a sudden icy blast had shot through the room.

"Why?"

"She won't take baths, even when Laini puts nice herbs in the water. She only
eats with her fingers--even when we have porridge!" Her disgruntled expression softened
when Mrillis snorted and grinned at her. "She steals, and when a grownup takes back
what she stole, she cries and acts like we stole from
her
. And the little one,
Triska, won't even crawl. She wants everybody to carry her. She cries all the time and she
doesn't like the other babies in the nursery."

"Maybe she's scared," Mrillis offered.

Ceera shrugged. "They're worse than anybody says Encindi are. Do you think
they're so nasty because of their father?"

"I don't know."

"Is Endor nice?"

"He's not a snake." Mrillis forced a grin, though Ceera's continuing interest in the
other boy irritated him. "What about you? How did you get sick?"

"Nainan pushed me in the cistern and shut the lid on me, when I caught her
stealing Laini's garnet necklace. I spent the whole night there. It's cold!"

"You spent the whole night in the water?" Mrillis choked, unable to breathe for
a moment.

A knot of pure panic, for Ceera's sake, settled in hard and cold and painful in
his chest. He wanted to find Nainan and punish her. Even if she was Endor's sister, and
Endor was his good friend, he wanted to hurt her.

"How did you stay afloat?" He gripped the back of the chair hard enough to
turn his knuckles white.

"Our Lady says I found my
imbrose
." Ceera shrugged, as if it were a
small accomplishment. She couldn't fight the wide grin of delighted pride that lit up her
face.

"Can you see the Threads now, too?" The knot in his chest loosened when
Ceera shook her head. He held out his hands to her. "Close your eyes. Think about
seeing through my eyes." He half-closed his eyes, turned his gaze sideways and mentally
turned himself, so he felt as if he stood half a step crooked and two handspans above the
furs on the floor.

The varicolored Threads of magic grew visible to his new way of seeing. Mrillis
concentrated on their vibrations of power, soft chords of near-music they created if he
listened with his entire soul, the warmth of energy brushing up against his fingertips, the
edges of his ears and the tip of his nose.

"What are they?" Ceera whispered.

"The warp and woof of life," Le'esha answered, startling both children.

Mrillis slowly let go of Ceera's hands and turned to face the Queen of Snows.
She stood in the doorway. He hadn't heard the door open. How long she had been
listening to them, he had no idea. He supposed if he was going to get in trouble, this was
definitely worth it.

"I had thought to wait until you were stronger, Little Star, before I showed
them to you. As it is, your soul grasped the Threads when you woke your
imbrose
." Le'esha nodded thanks when Mrillis stepped aside so she could take
the chair he had been using. She sank down gracefully into the seat and regarded both
children for several long moments.

Mrillis perched on the edge of the bed, close enough to let Ceera grasp his hand
if either of them needed the comfort.

"I'm sorry, Lady," he finally managed to choke out.

"For what?"

The boy was stumped for several moments. He knew he had done something
wrong--but not wrong enough to make the Queen of Snows angry with him.

"It's always best to save apologies for when you are more certain of the
trespass," Le'esha said after several minutes of increasingly uncomfortable silence, while
Mrillis struggled to put into words what he sensed in his conscience. She smiled softly,
looking a little weary, and leaned forward to cup his cheek in her soft, warm hand. "You
do know you have done something...not wrong, exactly. Impetuous. Overstepping the
boundaries. But truly, what are your boundaries?"

She sighed, settled back in her chair and folded her hands in her lap. Both
children sat up a little straighter. This was Le'esha speaking as Queen of Snows. They
knew it was wise to pay full attention.

"Ceera has great potential for talent and power. And like you, Mrillis, that
potential can be turned to good, or it can be turned to evil." She looked both children in
the eye in turn. "I expected her to see the Threads sooner than her age-mates--"A rueful
smile quirked one corner of her mouth. "But not this much sooner. You have changed
her life path, do you see, by showing her things she was not quite strong enough, alert
enough, to find for herself? Like forcing a flower to open a little sooner than the Estall
intended, you damage the flower. You might have stolen some learning and growing
from Ceera."

"Flowers from the indoor gardens in winter don't smell as nice as flowers that
grow outside," Mrillis murmured. He squeezed Ceera's hand. "I'm sorry. I just wanted
to..." He shrugged, not quite sure what he wanted.

"You were showing off, a little bit. But you wanted to entertain her and share
your treasures, and that comes from a generous heart," Le'esha said. "Ceera, do you
understand that you are touching on things far beyond your age?"

"The other girls say I'm too smart already, and I always try to be your favorite,"
Ceera said with a little shrug. She hunched her shoulders and gazed at her hands, clasped
around Mrillis'.

"Little Star..." The Queen of Snows reached to cup the girl's face now, and
tipped her head up so she could look into her eyes. "Just as Mrillis is the son I never bore,
you are my daughter. You
are
more mature, more alert, more kind-hearted.
Sometimes I wonder if a very old soul was put into your very young body, sent back by
the Estall to do some great and glorious, perhaps dangerous, necessary work. It frightens
me and...I must share a secret with you, children. I think you can protect it, young as you
are.

"Ceera, I put a heavy burden on your shoulders. Do not be proud, but be
afraid. Be humble. On the day you were born, I saw that you would grow up to be my
heir."

Le'esha's lips twitched when the girl gasped. Mrillis felt Ceera's pulse leap under
his fingers where he clasped her hand. He thought about all the other girls growing up in
the Stronghold who dreamed of the honor of being the next Queen of Snows. He had
watched Le'esha sitting in council, working over record books, judging the disputes
brought to her, dispensing advice, sending medicine and food and workers to those who
asked for help. He had seen her weep over warriors and couriers in her service, who
died on missions she gave them.

He saw only duty, weariness, pain and sorrow, not the glamour and power
that others saw. He thought he understood why Le'esha looked so somber when she told
Ceera she had been chosen--and why it was amusing that the child should be so shocked.
Any other girl would be crowing with delight, dancing on the walls at the news. Did
Ceera understand all the sad, painful parts of being Queen of Snows, or did she only
sense it?

It struck him that if Ceera would become the next Queen of Snows, then
Le'esha wouldn't live forever, guiding and teaching them.

"Mrillis," the woman continued, breaking him out of the painful blow of that
realization. "I charge you to guide and guard Ceera. Protect her. Teach her. Rebuke her
when she strays into arrogance and selfishness. Can you do that?"

"I'll try, Lady," he whispered.

"You understand there is more work than leisure, more sadness than feasting,
more service than power, in being Queen of Snows. You have years of hard work ahead
of you, Ceera, before you are ready to even begin to help me, much less sit in my chair.
Are you willing to obey and serve me, and Lygroes, and the Estall?"

"You'll be my teacher?" Ceera asked, after many long moments of deep thought,
when she looked first at Le'esha, then at Mrillis, then back to the woman.

"Yes." Le'esha laughed when Ceera leaped off the bed and scrambled up onto
her lap. Woman and child hugged.

Mrillis felt strangely left out. He slid off the bed and took one step closer to
Le'esha's chair. The other boys on Wynystrys would tell him he was too old to want a
hug, and certainly too old to feel a little jealous of a child. Especially a girl. But he
did.

He sensed he had done several foolish, arrogant things today. Mrillis breathed a
silent prayer to the Estall, as Le'esha and Breylon told him to always do, and asked for
help in making things right again.

"Mrillis." Le'esha settled Ceera on her lap and reached out a hand to the boy.
"You have changed Ceera's life today, just as I have by revealing her destiny ahead of its
proper time. We have both caused a diversion in the stream of her life, so we are now
both responsible for ensuring this change brings only good, both to her and to the land.
Consider that the more power you carry, the larger effect you have on the world, and
the greater the responsibility to make wise and good decisions. Sometimes painful ones.
The higher you stand, the greater the fall and punishment when you choose badly and
harm others."

"I'll always try to only do good and help others," Mrillis vowed.

"If only it were that simple." She tucked Ceera's head under her chin and stroked
the child's long hair where it streamed down the back of her shift. "Sometimes, we must
do what seems like harm to bring greater good. Sometimes, a life must be sacrificed in
order to save many lives. You will need to remember that in the future. No matter how
much it hurts, always do what will bring the greatest good."

"Well, Little Star, are you all well now?" Graddon's hearty greeting startled both
children.

Mrillis recovered first, leaping to his feet and grinning widely as the seer
stepped into Le'esha's office. The two children spent their afternoons in Le'esha's office,
reading scrolls and playing quiet games to conserve Ceera's strength as she regained her
health. Mrillis avoided Nainan, because he still grew angry every time he thought about
what Endor's sister had done.

"Do you have more lessons for us?" Ceera asked. She put aside the silver wires
she had been stringing with beads of semi-precious stones, to braid into rings and
bracelets.

"Lessons, yes, but I think you'll like them. We will learn to make more pretty
things together, yes?" The big bald man got down on his knees and studied the project in
her hand. "You know the feel of metal in your skin, the smell of it when it is hot and
pliant. And... you are learning the feeling of power in the air and ground, now. Very
good." He nodded.

"Did you see this, sir?" Mrillis asked. He glanced over his shoulder toward the
door. As he expected, Le'esha had arrived a few steps behind Graddon.

She hadn't warned the children of their approaching visitor, and Mrillis
wondered if she hadn't known, or if Graddon had been able to hide himself from her
foresight. But if he could, why would he do it?

That evening, after Ceera had gone to bed, Mrillis had his chance to ask. He
and Le'esha and Graddon were alone in the common room. The questions kept turning
around in his head until they became an itch he had to satisfy. He wasn't sure what
bothered him more: that someone had the power to hide from the Queen of Snows, or
that they wanted or needed to do it at all.

"Master Graddon, can you hide so my Lady can't see you?"

"What?" Le'esha tipped her head to one side and frowned, as if she couldn't
believe what the boy had said.