Zlata's Diary (6 page)

At about 8:00 we heard the bell of a streetcar. The first streetcar had passed through town and life got back to normal. People poured out into the streets hoping that nothing like that would ever happen again. We joined the peace procession. When we got home we had a quiet night's sleep. The next day everything was the same as before. Classes, music school... But in the evening, the news came that 3,000 Chetniks [Serbian nationalists] were coming from Pale
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to attack Sarajevo, and first, Baščaršija [the old part of town]. Melica said that new barricades had been put up in front of her house and that they wouldn't be sleeping at home tonight. They went to Uncle Nedjad's place. Later there was a real fight on YUTEL TV. Radovan Karadžič [Bosnian Serb leader] and Alija Izetbegovič [President of Bosnia-Herzegovina] phoned in and started arguing. Then Goran Milic
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got angry and made them agree to meet with some General Kukanjac.
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Milič is great!!! Bravo!

On March 4 (Wednesday) the barricades were removed, the “kids” [a popular term for politicians] had come to some agreement. Great?!

That day our art teacher brought in a picture for our class-mistress (for March 8, Women's Day). We gave her the present, but she told us to go home. Something was wrong again! There was a panic. The girls started screaming and the boys quietly blinked their eyes. Daddy came home from work early that day too. But everything turned out OK. It's all too much!

Things are back to normal.

There's no more trouble in Sarajevo. But there is in other parts of B-H: Bosanski Brod, Derventa, Modriča. Terrible reports and pictures are coming in from all over. Mommy and Daddy won't let me watch TV when the news is on, but you can't hide all the bad things that are happening from us children. People are worried and sad again. The blue helmets (actually, they're blue berets) have arrived in Sarajevo. We're safer now. And the “kids” have retreated from the scene.

Daddy drove me to the building on the UN peace force command. He told me that now that the blue flag is flying in Sarajevo we can hope for something better.

Hey, Diary! You know what I think? Since Anne Frank called her diary Kitty, maybe I could give you a name too. What about:

or something else???

I'm thinking, thinking...

I've decided! I'm going to call you

MIMMY

 

All right, then, let's start.

Dear Mimmy,

It's almost half-term. We're all studying for our tests. Tomorrow we're supposed to go to a classical music concert at the Skenderija Hall. Our teacher says we shouldn't go because there will be 10,000 people, pardon me, children, there, and somebody might take us as hostages or plant a bomb in the concert hall. Mommy says I shouldn't go. So I won't.

Hey! You know who won the Yugovision Song Contest?! EXTRA NENA!!!???

I'm afraid to say this next thing. Melica says she heard at the hairdresser's that on Saturday, April 4, 1992, there's going to be BOOM—BOOM, BANG—BANG, CRASH Sarajevo. Translation: they're going to bomb Sarajevo.

Love,

Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

Mommy is at work. Daddy has gone to Zenica. I'm home from school and have been thinking. Azra leaves for Austria today. She's afraid of war. HEY! Still, I keep thinking about what Melica heard at the hairdresser's. What do I do if they bomb Sarajevo? Safia is here, and I'm listening to Radio-M. I feel safer.

Mommy says that what Melica heard at the hairdresser's is misinformation. I hope so!

Daddy came back from Zenica all upset. He says there are terrible crowds at the train and bus stations . People are leaving Sarajevo. Sad scenes. They're the people who believe the misinformation. Mothers and children are leaving, the fathers are staying behind, or just children are leaving, while their parents stay. Everybody is in tears. Daddy says he wishes he hadn't seen that.

Love you, Mimmy,

Zlata

Today is Bairam [a Muslim religious holiday]. There aren't many people in the streets. I guess it's fear of the stories about Sarajevo being bombed. But there's no bombing. It looks as though Mommy was right when she said it was all misinformation. Thank God! Love you,

Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

I'm trying to concentrate so I can do my homework (reading), but I simply can't. Something is going on in town. You can hear gunfire from the hills.

Columns of people are spreading out from Dobrinja. They're trying to stop something, but they themselves don't know what. You can simply feel that something is coming, something very bad. On TV I see people in front of the B-H parliament building. The radio keeps playing the same song: “Sarajevo, My Love.” That's all very nice, but my stomach is still in knots and I can't concentrate on my homework anymore.

Mimmy, I'm afraid of WAR!!!

Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

Yesterday the people in front of the parliament tried peacefully to cross the Vrbanja bridge. But they were shot at. Who? How? Why? A girl, a medical student from Dubrovnik, was KILLED. Her blood spilled onto the bridge. In her final moments all she said was: “Is this Sarajevo?” HORRIBLE,

HORRIBLE HORRIBLE!

NO ONE AND NOTHING HERE IS NORMAL!

The BaščarÅ¡ija has been destroyed! Those “fine gentlemen” from Pale fired on BaščarÅ¡ija!

Since yesterday people have been inside the B-H parliament. Some of them are standing outside, in front of it. We've moved my television set into the living room, so I watch Channel I on one TV and “Good Vibrations” on the other. Now they're shooting from the Holiday Inn, killing people in front of the parliament. And Bokica is there with Vanja and Andrej. Oh, God!

Maybe we'll go to the cellar. You, Mimmy, will go with me, of course. I'm desperate. The people in front of the parliament are desperate too. Mimmy, war is here. PEACE, NOW!

They say they're going to attack RTV Sarajevo [radio and TV center]. But they haven't. They've stopped shooting in our neighborhood. KNOCK! KNOCK! (I'm knocking on wood for good luck.)

WHEW! It was tough. Oh, God! They're shooting again!!!

Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

I'm not going to school. All the schools in Sarajevo are closed. There's danger hiding in these hills above Sarajevo. But I think things are slowly calming down. The heavy shelling and explosions have stopped. There's occasional gunfire, but it quickly falls silent. Mommy and Daddy aren't going to work. They're buying food in huge quantities. Just in case, I guess. God forbid!

Still, it's very tense. Mommy is beside herself, Daddy tries to calm her down. Mommy has long conversations on the phone. She calls, other people call, the phone is in constant use.

Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

The new sections of town—Dobrinja, Mojmilo, Vojničko polje—are being badly shelled. Everything is being destroyed, burned, the people are in shelters. Here in the middle of town, where we live, it's different. It's quiet. People go out. It was a nice warm spring day today. We went out too. Vaso Miškin Street was full of people, children. It looked like a peace march. People came out to be together, they don't want war. They want to live and enjoy themselves the way they used to. That's only natural, isn't it? Who likes or wants war, when it's the worst thing in the world?

I keep thinking about the march I joined today. It's bigger and stronger than war. That's why it will win. The people must be the ones to win, not the war, because war has nothing to do with humanity. War is something inhuman.

Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

People are leaving Sarajevo. The airport, train and bus stations are packed. I saw sad pictures on TV of people parting. Families, friends separating. Some are leaving, others staying. It's so sad. Why? These people and children aren't guilty of anything. Keka and Braco came early this morning. They're in the kitchen with Mommy and Daddy, whispering. Keka and Mommy are crying. I don't think they know what to do—whether to stay or to go. Neither way is good.

Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

There has been terrible gunfire in Mojmilo [a part of Sarajevo]. Mirna spent a whole forty-eight hours in the shelter. I talked to her on the phone, but not for long because she had to go back down to the shelter. I feel sorry for her.

Bojana and Verica are going to England. Oga is going to Italy. And worst of all, Martina and Matea have already left. They went to Ohrid [a lakeside town in Macedonia]. Keka is crying, Braco is crying and Mommy is crying. She's on the phone right now, and she's crying. And “those boys” up there in the hills keep shooting at us. I just heard that Dejan has left too.

OOOHHHHH! Why war?!

Love you, Mimmy,
Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

Martina, Matea and Dejan didn't leave, after all. That's really not fair! Yes, of course it is, they mustn't go. But it isn't fair because we all cried our eyes out and in the end they didn't leave. There are not enough buses, trains or planes for all the people who want to get out of here.

Love you,
Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

There's shooting, shells are falling. This really is WAR. Mommy and Daddy are worried, they sit up until late at night, talking. They're wondering what to do, but it's hard to know. Whether to leave and split up, or stay here together. Keka wants to take me to Ohrid. Mommy can't make up her mind—she's constantly in tears. She tries to hide it from me, but I see everything. I see that things aren't good here. There's no peace. War has suddenly entered our town, our homes, our thoughts, our lives. It's terrible.

It's also terrible that Mommy has packed my suitcase.

 

 

Love,
Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

War is no joke, it seems. It destroys, kills, burns, separates, brings unhappiness. Terrible shells fell today on Baščaršija, the old town center. Terrible explosions. We went down into the cellar, the cold, dark, revolting cellar. And ours isn't even all that safe.

Mommy, Daddy and I just stood there, holding on to one another in a corner that looked safe. Standing there in the dark, in the warmth of my parents' arms, I thought about leaving Sarajevo. Everybody is thinking about it, and so am I. I couldn't bear to go alone, to leave behind Mommy and Daddy, Grandma and Granddad. And going with just Mommy isn't any good either. The best would be for all three of us to go. But Daddy can't. So I've decided we should stay here together. Tomorrow I'll tell Keka that you have to be brave and stay with those you love and those who love you. I can't leave my parents, and I don't like the other idea of leaving my father behind alone either.

Your Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

It's horrible in Sarajevo today. Shells falling, people and children getting killed, shooting. We will probably spend the night in the cellar. Since ours isn't safe, we're going to our neighbors', the Bobars' house. The Bobar family consists of Grandma Mira, Auntie Boda, Uncle Žika (her husband), Maja and Bojana. When the shooting gets bad, Žika phones us and then we run across the yard, over the ladder and the table, into their building and finally knock at their door. Until just the other day we took the street, but there's shooting and it's not safe anymore. I'm getting ready to go to the cellar. I've packed my backpack with biscuits, juice, a deck of cards and a few other “things.” I can still hear the cannon fire, and something that sounds like it. Love you, Mimmy,

Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

We spent the whole night in the Bobars' cellar. We went there at around 9:30 and came home at about 10:30 the next morning. I slept from 4:00 to 9:30 A.M. It boomed and shook really badly last night. Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

We spent Thursday night with the Bobars again. The next day we had no electricity. We had no bread, so for the first time in her life Mommy baked some. She was scared how it would turn out. It turned out like bread—good bread. That was the day I was supposed to go to Ohrid with M&M. But I didn't, and neither did they.

Ciao! Your Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

SNIFFLE! Martina, SNIFFLE, and Matea, SNIFFLE, left YESTERDAAAY! They left by bus for Krško [a town in Slovenia]. They went with Keka. Oga has gone too, so has Dejan, Mirna will be leaving tomorrow or the next day, and soon Marijana will be going too.

SNIFFLE!
Everybody has gone. I'm left with no friends. Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

I'd write to you much more about the war if only I could. But I simply don't want to remember all these horrible things. They make me sick. Please, don't be mad at me. I'll write something.

I love you,
Zlata

Dear Mimmy,

Today was truly, absolutely the worst day ever in Sarajevo. The shooting started around noon. Mommy and I moved into the hall. Daddy was in his office, under our apartment, at the time. We told him on the intercom to run quickly to the downstairs lobby where we'd meet him. We brought Cicko [Zlata's canary] with us. The gunfire was getting worse, and we couldn't get over the wall to the Bobars', so we ran down to our own cellar.