Zero at the Bone (25 page)

“Oh, yes. I already arranged it with him.” He looked at her for a reaction. “Is that all right with you, Katherine?” For the first time she thought she heard in his usually assured voice a note of uncertainty.

She glanced back once more at the gaudy mosaic set into the expanse of the tan brick reptile house. “Yes. It’s fine.”

“It’ll give you a chance to see more of the zoo. Actually, it wasn’t easy to arrange. Alonzo didn’t leap at the idea of exchanging you for Danny.” He vaulted out of the Jeep. “He thinks Danny is excessively rough with the herps and he thinks once you get over your—initial reluctance, you could be a competent keeper. That’s high praise coming from him.”

Katherine climbed out and walked along beside him, taking bigger steps than usual to keep up with his rapid, long-legged pace.

Three men were clustered at the entrance to the fenced-in side yard. Katherine recognized Hans Dieterlen, the dour senior keeper, who seemed to be involved in everything that happened at the zoo. He was engrossed in conversation with two old men who would have to be the legendary Traeger Brothers, who had been in charge of the pachyderm house for thirty years. Katherine had heard they had been trying to retire for years, but had been unable to since no one else could handle the five elephants they had raised.

They had clearly been waiting for Vic because as soon as he arrived, the group moved into the stockaded yard where bales of hay were stacked and several bushels of apples waited for feeding time.

Vic introduced her around as Katherine who was filling in for his missing assistant. The two brothers were Manuel and Luis Traeger. Katherine had only seen them from a distance before. Up close, they looked every bit as tough as they were reputed to be.

“Are we certain she is in estrus?” Hans Dieterlen asked, looking at Vic for the answer.

“Luis says she’s jumpy and hasn’t eaten in two days. These are the usual signs. The keepers usually know.” Vic looked to Luis for confirmation.

Luis scratched at a wormlike raised scar that ran from his earlobe down the neck and disappeared into his shirt collar. “Well,” he drawled in a low, rumbling voice, “this morning she squirted some urine on the dividing fence and Teddy made a flehmen response.” He pulled his lips back from his teeth and wrinkled his long nose to show how Teddy had looked. “He’s interested. And her behavior’s weird. I think we have a real good chance here for a mating.”

His brother, leaning against a stack of bales picking his teeth with a piece of straw, nodded his head in agreement. “Yup. In heat.”

The two brothers looked at one another and smiled.

Vic said in a low voice that barely contained his excitement, “Let’s open the door to the bridal chamber. What do you say, Hans?”

“Okay,” Hans said to Manuel and Luis. “If you’re ready, open the gate. We don’t want to upset them, so the rest of us will go around to the front and keep quiet.”

The two brothers disappeared through the door while Hans, Vic, and Katherine walked around to the visitors’ viewing area at the front of the outdoor pens. The zoo hadn’t opened yet, but already a group of about twenty zoo staffers had gathered at the rail, watching Teddy stand at the fence that divided him from the only female of his species he had ever seen. Apparently word had gotten out.

The group contained mostly keepers and maintenance crew, plus a few people from the front office. Iris Renaldo was walking over from the reptile house. Sam McElroy stood talking with his assistant, Kim Kelly, who was dressed as usual in safari clothes—today a long khaki skirt and leather boots. As soon as he saw him, Sam beckoned to Vic, who joined them, leaving Katherine and Hans standing together.

Luis Traeger was already in the pen approaching Teddy. He passed by, smacked him on the rear, raising a dust cloud. The rhino’s skin looked so much like armor Katherine expected it to clank, but the noise was just like what you’d get if you thumped your hand into a sandbag. Then Luis walked to the gate in the dividing fence. He unlocked the huge padlock, pulled the chain that secured the wooden gate, and swung it open. He propped it open with a rock and walked backward toward the group at the railing, keeping his eye on Teddy whose squat, powerful legs propelled him slowly and inexorably toward the opening.

They all watched with riveted attention as Teddy lumbered through the opening and pointed his worn-down nub of a horn toward Ursula.

Hans stood with his hands clasped behind his back, his face impassive. “I hope these dinosaurs do what they’re supposed to,” he said in his thick German accent. “Getting the female here has been a major pain in the ass.”

“Oh? How?” Katherine asked.

“The paperwork involved in getting her over here you wouldn’t believe. She’s on breeding loan from the Frankfurt zoo and it took several dozen permits and releases to get her here, as well as two years and a small fortune. He gestured toward Teddy. “All for this moment. I hope he isn’t queer.”

Luis clambered down into the moat, up the other side, and vaulted the railing as if he were a young man. As he joined the group, his eyes were shining under bushy gray brows and his nervous fingers jangled the key ring hanging from his belt. His brother stood in the doorway of the pachyderm building with a pitchfork in hand. They all watched with an anticipation Katherine found infectious.

“Where does the money for transport and everything come from?” she asked Hans.

“The Zoological Society,” he said without looking at her.

“Not the Driscoll Foundation?” she asked.

“No. They pay only for actual acquisitions.”

“Hans, do local game ranches ever buy animals at the same time the zoo buys them, like in the same shipment?”

He kept his eyes fixed on Teddy. “How would I know what they do, those places?”

“They don’t ever buy animals from the zoo?” she asked.

He glanced at her coldly. “Certainly not. It is against AAZPA regulations.”

Teddy was sniffing the air. Ursula tossed her head, shaking the hairy tassels at the end of her silly donkey ears and trotted toward him. She stopped and leaned her massive head against his and rubbed it gently back and forth, waiting for him to make the next move. Teddy endured it for a moment, then trotted away to the other side of the enclosure where some hay was still left. He lowered his head, picked some up and began to chew contentedly.

“That prehistoric dolt,” Hans Dieterlen muttered, adding a few guttural words in German. “Doesn’t he know a come-on when he sees it?”

“Patience, Hans. He’s just a beginner,” Luis said. “He’s never seen this done by his species, so he’s got to work it out.”

Ursula was not about to give up so easily. She followed Teddy at a brisk trot and this time she was bolder. She lowered her head to his stomach and dragged her horn along the length of his body. When she reached his groin, she began to lick his belly and then moved on to his penis, which had been hanging down like a useless fifth leg. Teddy let out a squeal. Everyone’s eyes were glued to the penis, which immediately started to grow and lengthen until it was about three feet long and pointed forward toward his nose horn.

Iris Renaldo took a few steps to get close to Katherine and whispered in her ear, “Wow. I’m glad I decided to come watch. Isn’t that something?”

“It sure is,” Katherine said with conviction. The erection continued to grow. Katherine suddenly saw where Asians had got the idea that rhino horn was an aphrodisiac.

Ursula, seeming suddenly nervous by what she had unleashed, ran to the edge of the dry moat between her and the spectators and scrambled down into it.

“Oh, no,” Luis said. “He won’t be able to get at her in there and I don’t know if she’ll be able to get out on her own. “Come on, let’s head her out.” He jumped the railing and scrambled down into the moat, with Hans and Vic behind him. They walked up to the female rhino and tried to turn her around with thumps to her flanks, but she refused to budge. She was planted where she stood. When they heard the clop of soft hooves, they looked up to see three tons of rhino bearing down on them. Teddy was approaching. As he slid down the side of the moat, the three men scrambled up the other side, getting out of the way just in time.

Ursula leaned suggestively against the incline and Teddy took the offer. He climbed up on her backside and thrust himself against her, but the observers, craning their necks, could see he was aiming far too low. He got down and looked around bewildered.

“My God,” said Sam McElroy, “it makes me want to go down there and put the dong in for him.”

“He’ll get it,” Luis said. “He just needs some practice.”

And sure enough, Teddy mounted her again, ramming himself against her. There was a slapping noise, then two simultaneous sighs from the rhinos as he found the right spot. It took only a few seconds of thrusting in and out before he let out a bellow and his pom-pommed tail shot up like a flag. But Teddy didn’t move; he stayed in position, resting his head on Ursula’s rump.

“It’s not over by a long shot,” Luis Traeger said. “Rhinos can ejaculate every fifty seconds for several hours.” As if on cue, Teddy began thrusting again, and again he bellowed and this time so did Ursula. It went on and on for the next half hour and promised to continue indefinitely. By now the zoo was open and visitors were gathering to watch. Some mothers with small children in tow took one look and dragged the kids away.

“Too bad,” Vic said to Katherine. “It’s good sex education. Come on. Tear yourself away. We have promises to keep.”

As Katherine turned to leave, Iris whispered into her ear, “Whew! I don’t know about you, but I could use a cold shower.”

*   *   *

“What’s next?” Katherine asked, the wind whipping her hair as they bounced along the rutty road to the Australian Pavilion in the new section of the zoo.

“A bird—her keeper thinks she’s egg-bound,” he said, pressing on the accelerator. “A cassowary.” They screeched to a stop at the side of the pavilion where several gigantic ostrich-like birds stood stamping the dust with their big feet. Gawky and startled, they regarded the Jeep’s arrival with heads held high on long crepey necks. Batting their long lashes, they looked like aristocratic matrons interrupted at a tea party.

“There she is.” Vic pointed at a lone bird in the corner of the pen who was stomping her feet and shaking her richly feathered tail as if in the throes of some compelling force. A young woman keeper came running toward them, holding on to her hat. “Thank God you’re here,” she said, breathless. “Matilda’s been straining since I arrived this morning.”

“How many has she laid already?” Vic asked.

“Nine. And now she gets stuck on what’s probably the last egg.”

“Okay, Lisa, she’s been at it way too long. Let’s see if we can give her some help.” He pulled his pack from the back of the Jeep and headed toward the gate.

“Oh, boy,” Lisa groaned, pulling on some thick leather gloves and pushing down on the bill of her baseball cap. “Oh, boy.”

“Here’s the plan,” Vic said to the two women. “It won’t be too hard to catch her, but you two will need to hold her still while I see if I can help her ease it out.”

Lisa groaned again and looked over at Katherine. “You got any jewelry on?” she asked.

Katherine shook her head, puzzled.

“Good. This is my least favorite thing to do.”

Vic unzipped his bag and slung it over one shoulder. “Be careful. These birds can kick like mules.”

“Especially this one,” Lisa said, unlocking the pen. “She’s the Incredible Hulk of the bird world. We need to get close to her right away so she can’t get a good one in.”

The cassowaries, except for Matilda, who stayed right where she was, straining and shuddering, ran with a few strides of their powerful legs to the opposite end of their pen. Vic headed toward Matilda’s corner, clearly planning to approach from behind; Lisa approached from the front; and Katherine from the flank. Vic moved in first, grabbing her around her muscular thighs, while Lisa threw her arms around the base of the long naked neck, and Katherine grabbed what was left—the bulbous feathered body. She had to bend over and stretch her arms as far as they would go, resting her cheek against the small flightless wing. She was surprised that under the soft plumage, the body was rock hard and trembling.

The bird struggled, stomping and dragging her big feet, raising clouds of dust that Katherine couldn’t avoid breathing in. There was also some noisome brown sticky stuff on the feathers that was getting smeared on her cheek and in her hair. She envied Lisa the baseball cap that protected her hair.

“Fine,” said Vic squatting down under the bird’s rear end and peering up. “Ah, I see it, just a nickel’s worth, but there it is. Now … can’t you keep her a little steadier so I can get my hand in there without getting it ripped off? Katherine, tighten up.”

Katherine hugged harder and gave a little yip of surprise when Matilda snaked her long neck down and grabbed Katherine’s shirt collar with her black beak and began to tug at it. “She’s trying to rip my shirt,” Katherine complained.

“Good,” Vic said, looking up into her face, only about a foot away from his. “It’ll keep that end busy for a while.” He poured some liquid on his hands and rubbed them vigorously, then poured a clear oil onto them and inserted the left hand into the bird’s cloaca. Katherine was beginning to feel her wind cut off by the continual powerful yanks on her shirt. More dust was being kicked up, which made her eyes itch and water and her tongue feel gritty. Just as she felt close to strangling, she heard a rip as the collar began to separate from the shirt.

Vic smiled up at her. “Ah, I can get a few fingers around the side. Keep holding—a little tighter if you can.”

The beak gave a final tug and pulled off a large part of Katherine’s collar.

Lisa called down to her, “Sorry. I can’t hold any higher on the neck or I could damage her windpipe. It’s very fragile in these birds.”

Matilda dropped her head again and nipped at what remained of Katherine’s collar. This time she caught a strand of Katherine’s hair in with it.

“Ow,” Katherine yelled. “She’s got my hair now.” She looked down at Vic for help.