Zemindar (45 page)

I have no idea how long I was asleep that afternoon before I became aware of a knocking on my door and a long wailing cry in the background of my consciousness. For a moment I lay still, trying to focus my blurred senses, feeling the stickiness of the coverlet beneath my bare shoulders, of sweat under my chin and pouring down my neck. Then I was fully awake and struggling into my wrapper as the knocking grew louder and more insistent. I stumbled to the door. Emily’s
ayah
, eyes rolling in her frightened brown face, met me with her palms joined in a gesture of submission and apology.

‘It is coming! Aie! Aie!
Missy-sahib
, the
baba
is coming!’

‘What? It can’t be!’ I grabbed a handful of shoulder and white muslin
sari
, and shook the woman until her teeth rattled. ‘The baby is not due until the end of next month. It cannot come now!’

‘No! No indeed! But it comes,
Missy-sahib
. It comes now!’

‘You stupid thing,’ I muttered between clenched teeth, ‘Emily
Mem-sahib
ate cucumbers in vinegar for
tiffin
. She has indigestion!’

‘Yes! No doubt that is it. But the
baba
also—it comes now! And the
Chota-sahib
is not here, and the
Lat-sahib
is not here, and only the gods know what will happen to Emily
Mem-sahib
for she has the hips of a ten-year-old girl!’

I did not wait for the end of the sentence, but rushed down the long corridor to Emily’s room, determined that if force of will could do it, force of invective if need be, I would keep that damned brat from making an appearance. Only two more days, two more little days, and we would be clear of Hassanganj. In another week Emily could have all the babies she wanted, triplets if she liked, in the cool, pine-scented air of the hills. But not here in this place of secrets and conflict, suspicion, threats and ill-matched people. ‘Dear God,’ I prayed to my neglected deity, ‘dear God,’ with my hand on the door-knob, ‘please, please don’t let it be the baby. It mustn’t come today!’ Both Charles and Oliver were away and I was alone with a responsibility I could not avoid and knew not how to take. It was Charles’s duty to be present at the birth of his child, not mine. And only Oliver would know how to get the doctor and the midwife; I didn’t. So the baby could not, must not, come today! In the midst of my worry, I found time to wonder how I was so sure that Oliver would manage the situation, when Charles’s wife and child were involved. But so much I knew.

The long, high wail had ceased, and I realized that it must have come from the
ayah
at my door and not from Emily, who lay on her big bed looking very white and frightened but none the less composed. I pulled my wrap and my confidence around me, and went to her.

‘Now what’s all this talk of the baby coming?’ I asked with forced jollity. ‘You know that’s very unlikely. It’s not due for another six weeks and they say first babies are always late anyway.’

‘I know, that’s what I’ve been telling myself, Laura. But I really think it must be, all the same. I’ve … I’ve had a backache all day. I said nothing, since I thought it would pass, and then about an hour ago these pains started and they are worse now.’

‘A false alarm! Nothing more. Everyone has them. Don’t worry about it; just lie as comfortably as you can until they pass off. They will, Emmie, they will!’

‘Do you really think so? I don’t want the wretched baby to come early, Laura, but…’

‘Now don’t say any more. Lie still and try to sleep. When you wake up, you’ll find the pains have stopped. I’m sure of it.’

Emily shut her eyes obediently and I sat down near her to wait. In ten minutes her eyes were open again. In half an hour the pains were forcing her to bite her lips, and at the end of an hour she was writhing on the bed and gasping with relief as each spasm passed.

‘It’s no good, Laura! I’m so sorry, but it’s the baby, it must be. It has gone on so long now and it’s only getting worse!’

‘I can see that, Em. I’ll … I’ll have to send Toddy out to find someone to help. Mrs Camp has had six children. She’ll know just what to do and she seemed a nice practical sort of person. And when Oliver gets back, he’ll be able to find a doctor for you.’

‘But the nearest doctor is in Lucknow … that’s what frightens me, Laura.’

It was what frightened me too, but I could not let her know it.

‘Well, very often midwives are much better than doctors, and I’m sure Oliver will manage to get one nearer than Lucknow. Take it gently, darling, I’ll be back as soon as I can.’

Drat it, I fumed to myself as I left the room. All I knew of childbirth was that it was a protracted business, particularly with a first child, and that not much could be done until the end. But when the end came, eventually, someone with a modicum of knowledge of the procedure had to be available, and that someone, I determined, was not going to be me. I was as ignorant of the whole business as a nonagenarian monk!

I scrawled a note to Mrs Camp, and asked her to come to us as soon as possible. Toddy-Bob was sitting on the back verandah chewing tobacco and gazing vacantly at nothing. He had an astonishing facility for relaxing in any position, born no doubt of his days as an ostler’s boy watching horses in London. He sprang up when I appeared, the blankness of his expression belied by the shrewd appraisal in his eyes. He knew what was going on upstairs and for a second I wondered whether I should mention the matter outright and ask him who in the vicinity was most likely to help. But upbringing was too much for me.

‘I have a note here, Toddy,’ I said. ‘It’s urgent and very important. Please deliver it yourself and wait for an answer from Mrs Camp.’

He took the note and examined it politely.

‘Sorry, miss,’ he said, handing it back. ‘Couldn’t do it.’

‘You couldn’t do it!’ Wrath almost made me stutter. ‘Why not? Haven’t I just told you it is very important?’

‘Yes, miss, and that’s as may be. But I ’as my orders quite clear like.’

‘And what might they be?’

‘To stay in this ’ere ’ouse and never to leave it while the Guv’nor isn’t around like.’

I had been right then; he was our watchdog.

‘But, Toddy, this is an emergency! I will take full responsibility and explain to Mr Erskine that it was I who sent you—against your own wishes. Please, Toddy, it is desperately important!’

‘No go, miss. First, because Toddy-Bob takes ‘is orders from no one but the Guv’nor, nor never ’as. And second because Toddy-Bob ’as never gone against them orders nor doesn’t aim to now.’

I was defeated.

‘Then, well, I suppose one of the other servants will have to take it. Will you arrange it, please? Tell them how urgent it is. Mrs Camp must have the note as soon as possible!’

‘That wouldn’t do neither, miss,’ he said with decision, but regretfully.

‘Now what do you mean?’ I held in my annoyance and spoke with honeyed sweetness.

‘Mrs Camp aint ’ere, miss. She’s gone to the ’ills, a week ago.’

‘You’re sure?’ I could not hide my dismay. ‘How do you know; you could be mistaken?’

‘Not I, miss. She’s gone all right and all the nippers too. Seen ’em!’

I sat down on an old cane chair to think. What else was there I could do? Mr Camp’s assistant was not married and neither were either of the McCrackens or Mr Baird. The only other women I knew were in Lucknow. Had Toddy-Bob, his equine features gravely triumphant, not been watching me, I might have wept.

‘It’s a
dai
you’ll be wanting, miss,’ he volunteered after a pause.

‘A
dai
?’

‘Yes, miss; like a midwife—a nurse, you know.’

Nothing can ever be hidden in an Indian household. Here now was Toddy-Bob in full possession of the facts.

‘Yes,’ I agreed, further subterfuge being pointless, ‘we do need a midwife!’ I said it as though midwives were as rare as pearls in clamshells.

‘I can get you one of
them
all right, miss.’

‘Can you! Oh, Toddy, how?’

‘Why, every village has two or three, miss. Bit rough like they may be, but they manage to bring the nippers into the world just the same as any.’

‘You mean a … a native woman?’

‘That’s right. Like I said—a
dai
.’

‘Oh, no! I’m afraid not. Mr Flood would never hear of that!’

‘Well, that’s the best I can do, miss, and one of ’em did all right by the Guv’nor.’

Naturally, I thought to myself, with Yasmina in mind. A native woman would not want anything but a native midwife. Having accepted the fact of Yasmina’s parentage myself, I was hardly surprised that Toddy-Bob should blatantly mention the matter.

‘’Is ma was ’ere you see, miss, alone with the old people, and a
dai
come and pulled ’im into the world with nary a bother!’

‘Mr Erskine himself?’

‘Certainly, miss! Who else?’ He regarded me warily.

‘Oh! I … well, I’ll have to wait until the gentlemen come in anyway. Thank you for trying to help.’

Slowly I went indoors and Toddy-Bob looked after me with one eyebrow cocked, his lips already pursed in his nearly silent whistle.

The long afternoon dragged slowly into evening. Emily’s room was close and hot despite the efforts of the two
ayahs
and myself. While they took it in turns to fan her, I tried to cool her face and forehead with cloths wrung out in cologne and iced water. The two fat Indian women watched her intently, almost obscenely, and now and then exchanged comments in their own tongue. They knew how Emily was progressing, they knew what to expect, but when I questioned them they broke into such torrents of excited explanation that I could not understand a word. Neither my
munshis
nor Mr Benarsi Das had included the vocabulary of midwifery in their Urdu lessons.

As night approached, Emily began to moan and cry out at frequent intervals, and each time she did so I clenched my teeth and swore under my breath at my own ignorant helplessness. And each time she moaned, the
ayahs
shook their heads and looked knowingly at each other.

It was almost dark when the men returned.

The
chiks
had been rolled up to let in the cooler night air and the lamps had been lit when, hearing the approach of horses, I left Emily and ran down the wide staircase to break the news. I might have saved myself the trouble. As they entered the house, the news I had to give them was announced by Emily herself in the form of a piercing scream, clearly audible on the floor below. Both men stood stock still, frozen into immobility by the unexpectedness of that sound in the big quiet house.

‘It’s Emily,’ Charles whispered.

I nodded.

‘The baby? It’s coming?’

I nodded again.

‘Oh, my God!’ He flung down his hat and riding crop and took the stairs three at a time.

Oliver also removed his hat and placed it carefully on the carved chest beneath the elephant skull.

‘Well,’ said he deliberately, ‘that’s all we need!’

‘She can’t help it, Oliver,’ I said defensively. ‘It’s six weeks early, and I’m as sorry about it as you are, believe me.’

‘That’s a comfort! Have you got everything you need? I take it you can deal with this situation yourself, now that it is upon us?’

‘No!’

‘No what? What do you mean?’

‘We must have a doctor! I know absolutely nothing about it. How could I? I’m not even married, and no one talks to unmarried women about such things. Oh, Oliver, I know I’m a fool not to know, but it’s the truth. Please help us to find someone. I wrote to Mrs Camp but Toddy says she has gone to the hills, and I don’t know of anyone else. We must find a doctor!’

‘Good God, woman, pull yourself together! It would take two days to get a doctor out here, and then there’s no saying one would come. You’ll have to manage on your own. The
ayahs
will help you. They always know everything. It’s their business to.’

‘But I don’t understand them well enough, don’t you see?’

‘Then they’ll manage without you. Just leave them alone to get on with it.’

I shook my head helplessly, and sat down suddenly and inelegantly on the bottom stair. ‘It’s not as simple as that,’ I said. ‘They have managed to indicate that Emily is having a difficult time. She … she is too small!’ I hoped he would understand without further explanation. He did.

His expression softened a little. He looked down at me in silence for a moment, biting his underlip in thought.

‘A doctor is out of the question. The first thing to do is to find out how things are going. Come up with me and fetch out one of the
ayahs
.’ He started up the stairs as he spoke, and I got up and followed him.

Emily’s
ayah
, who came to the door at my summons, broke into a long and involved explanation when she saw Oliver. He listened attentively, asked a few questions, then dismissed the woman with a nod.

‘Yes, it’s as you say. She is having difficulty and things can only get worse. The
ayah
says …’ He broke off in mid sentence at the sound of a sobbing cry on the other side of the door. When he spoke again, his voice was gentler.

‘There is one possibility; if you will accept it.’

‘Anything! Anything is better than this!’

‘The
ayah
says Emily and the child will die if she doesn’t have help. I’m sorry to be so blunt. There’s no other way. We have a woman here whom the
ayah
says is sometimes called in for this kind of thing …’

‘You mean a
dai
?’

‘She’s not really a
dai
. Where did you learn the word?’

‘Toddy-Bob.’

‘I see.’ He grinned faintly. ‘No, Moti is not a
dai
, but she has very thin long hands and some experience of dealing with such … such situations, I believe. The
ayah
tells me she can help Emily and I see no alternative.’

‘Then get her, for pity’s sake, get her quickly!’

‘Wait!’ He looked at me intently in the light of the lamp at Emily’s door. ‘You should know one thing first. You have already met Moti.’