You're Still the One (23 page)

              "Good." He was glad she'd reached the same conclusion as the local police. He would die if he thought she believed it had been his shot that wounded her sister.

              He resumed his soft massage of her neck.

              "Tell me what your uncle said." She began to relax against him. "Tell me what the FBI is doing about Henderson."

              With all that had been going on, Rick hadn't given her the latest developments on the case. She did know that Tommy had been remanded into his custody by Oklahoma's parole board, and now that Grace had been pronounced out of danger, Rick would take Tommy home.

              "The FBI is ready for Tommy. They've been surveilling Henderson and are ready to move as soon as they see what Tommy has on him."

              "What's his real name?" She stifled a yawn.

              "Charles Antonio."

              "Is he really connected to the mob, like Grace said?"

              "Looks that way. He changed his name to Steven Henderson so that his Mafia ties to a Boston crime family wouldn't be so apparent. He moved into the Midwest five years ago and has been taking over territory in Oklahoma and Texas."

              She let out a deep breath. "Wow. My sister can pick them, can't she?"

              He chuckled, kneading the tight muscles in her shoulders.

              "Thanks for the massage." She pressed a kiss to his lips.

              He pulled her closer, but didn't deepen the kiss. He wanted more, but not here, not now.

              "I'm good to sit with my sister for another hour. Then maybe you and I can eat or something? I can give you an hour, too."

              "I wish you'd sleep. I'll sit with you."

              "I don't want to spend our time together sleeping. I want to be with you." She kissed him again, then stood.

              He rose, watching her thoughtfully as she turned and walked around the corner, her footsteps echoing on the tile.

             
I can give you an hour, too.

              Her words bounced back, triggered that sense of something being off. Mentally flipping through the last few days, he realized how she'd gone between him and her sister with the measured regularity of a metronome. Like a checklist. Time with Grace. Time with Rick.

              It all fell into place then. His own words to her at the creek crashed back.

             
I want all of you. You can't commit to me. I was always there for you. You were never there for me.

              She'd sworn she was ready to walk away from the responsibility of her sister -
for him
. Sworn that she wanted to choose him over that responsibility.

              He'd thought by being with her, he was supporting her. But when she should've been focused solely on Grace, she felt she had to give him equal time. She was choosing between them, and she didn't have to.

              He groaned, sank down in the chair. What had he done? Now he could see how she carefully rationed her time between them like the last bit of water in a drought.

              If he hadn't come upon her in the hallway, he doubted he would have seen the toll this was taking on her. She certainly wouldn't have knowingly shown him. Between the time she spent with Grace and the time she spent with him, she was driving herself into the ground.

              He had told himself he was helping her, told himself that he was the only reason she hadn't fallen apart. That he was the one who kept her on an even keel. What a lie. His presence presented a distraction for her, a demand on her time she didn't need. This constant juggling act wasn't what he wanted for her, this feeling that she had to choose between him and her family. Was this how it would always be?

              A sharp pain pushed up under his ribs. He couldn't watch her tear herself apart like this. He didn't want that for her, for either of them. Even though he might loose her forever, he knew what he had to do.

             
CHAPTER 14

              "You're leaving? But why?" Katie demanded, panic flashing her delicate features.

              A little over an hour later, they once again stood in the small alcove by the stairwell.

              Rick had asked her to walk with him. It had taken him four flights of stairs and a cup of coffee to get the nerve to tell her.

              "It's time. I need to take Tommy back." He wasn't sure how to say it, but he knew he had to tell her. The timing couldn't be worse, but he couldn't stand by and watch her drive herself into the ground. He knew she would never say anything about it, much less admit it. It was up to him.

              "I thought you could stay until tomorrow." She searched his face intently. "I thought Tommy's parole officer wasn't expecting you back until tomorrow night."

              She paused, indecision flitting through her eyes, then she said, "I can go with you."

              "No." He hadn't expected that, hated the dilemma he read on her face. "It's too soon. Grace can't leave-"

              "My dad can stay."

              "That would kill you, Katie." He took her empty coffee cup, walked to the wall and tossed both his and hers into the trash bin.

              "But what about us?" She followed him. Mid-morning sun streamed through the window, picking out the blue in her eyes. "I don't want to give up. I want this to work. I can make it work."

              He turned, gently cupped her shoulders. "You're killing yourself trying to make it work," he said quietly. "Right now, you shouldn't be worrying about anyone except Grace."

              She stiffened. "Are you saying you've decided you don't want me?"

              "No. I haven't decided anything like that."

              "Then what -" Her chin lifted. "You don't trust me. Maybe you never will. At least be honest."

              "I am, Katie." He shook her gently, looked straight into her eyes. "Listen to me. I want you in my life. If I didn't know that before yesterday, I for damn sure know it now, but not like this. When I told you I wanted total commitment from you, I didn't mean for you to tear yourself apart trying to make everyone happy."

              She pulled away, her eyes stormy with denial. "You don't have to leave."

              "I think that's the best way I can help." To keep from reaching for her, he rubbed at the lash of muscles in his neck. "You shouldn't have to feel torn between me and Grace. You should be focused on her."

              "I am."

              "Can't you see what you're doing? An hour with her. An hour with me."

              She blinked, then shook her head. "That's compromise."

              "No, Katie. I never should've given you an ultimatum that day at the creek. It wasn't fair." And now it had jumped up to bite him.

              "This isn't right, either." She paced to the stairwell door, then back, worrying her lower lip with her teeth.

              "When I said I wanted your total commitment, I didn't mean this."

              "What did you mean then?"

              "I never thought it would come to this, Katie. You should've have to choose, darlin'."

              "I don't feel that I am," she said hotly, planting her hands on her hips.

              He gave her a level look until finally she tossed her hands in the air. "Okay, maybe I do feel that way right now, but Grace is healing. What about afterward?"

              "I have a lot of things I want to say to you. Need to say. But now's not the time. You've got too much on your shoulders right now. When Grace gets better, we'll talk. There's time enough for that then."

              The anger drained out of her face; she looked at him sadly. "Will we be able to work this out?"

              "I hope so."

              Pain and uncertainty welled in her eyes. "Can I call you?"

              "You'd better." He pulled her to him, folded his arms around her. He wanted to be there for her, but instead he was in the way.

              Her arms tightened around him. He closed his eyes, savoring the feel of her against him, the silk of her hair tickling his jaw. He didn't want to go, but he couldn't stay. "How much longer do you think they'll keep Grace?"

              "Maybe only another two days. I'll let you know."

              He drew back, searched her face. "I'm counting on it."

              She nodded, the vulnerability in her liquid blue eyes tugging at his heart. He dipped his head, covered her mouth with his. She rose on tiptoe, fitting herself tight against him. Her hand moved to his nape, pressed him closer. The kiss was long and slow, making it even more difficult to stick to his decision. He ached clear down to his toes.

              She made a little sound and pulled away. Tears glimmered in her eyes. "I wish you weren't going."

              "Me, too." That was the hell of it.

              She framed his face in her hands. "We'll talk?"

              "Definitely." Pulling her to him, he took her mouth again, devouring this time, intense and savage, frantic to possess her. She kissed him back with a desperation that clutched at his heart.

              "You've got my cell phone number." He breathed against her forehead when they came up for air.

              "Yes."

              "And my office and home numbers."

              "I'll call. Be careful. Will you let me know when you get home?"

              "Yes."

              He walked her to Grace's room then kissed her goodbye, wondering if it was for the last time. As he and Tommy drove away from the hospital, Rick couldn't help feeling as if he were leaving his future in that third-floor room. But he couldn't make her choose, even if it meant they would never be together.

              Rick had left her. Two hours later, Katie stood at the single window in Grace' hospital room, wanting to hope, but uncertain. Her hands curled over the sill, painted the same misty green as the room. The walls, along with coordinating pastel floral prints above and across from Grace's bed, were chosen to soothe, but they couldn't calm Katie's churning thoughts.

              Rick had said they would talk after this, that he had things to tell her. She hoped he wanted to tell her he loved her, that he wanted another chance with her, just as she did with him. But what if he wanted to tell her just the opposite?

              Was this the end? He thought she couldn't balance her time between him and her family. She thought she'd been doing a pretty darn good job of it. The concern, the regret in his eyes as he'd said goodbye told her he really believed leaving was the best thing.

              Eyes burning with fatigue, she stared at the sunshine, remembering the pain in his face, the possessive promise in his kiss. Had he been right about her? She could see how she had been meticulous about making sure neither Rick nor Grace felt slighted or ignored.

              "Why don't you go after him?" Grace said from her bed.

              Katie turned to look at her sister, still not used to the sight of Grace 's short, platinum hair. This was the first time Grace had ever said anything about a man she'd dated. "We have things to work out."

              "Who doesn't." She fluttered a well-manicured hand, somehow managing to look demure in her hospital gown.

              "She has a point, Katie." Sam Foster walked into the private room and eased down onto Grace's bed as he pulled a small carton of chocolate ice cream out of a brown paper bag.

              Grace's eyes, the exact blue of their father's, lit up. She took the spoon from him and waggled at it Katie as she opened the carton. "You shouldn't give up on Rick."

              Katie looked at her in surprise. Grace sounded more mature than she had ever heard.

              "Rick made you happy, Katie. You two are a good fit. He's a doll, plus one gorgeous hunk of man. I don't know exactly what happened when you guys broke up, but if it was because of me--"

              "It wasn't. Not exactly anyway."

              "That plus your guilt over Mom's death?"

              "Have you been going to a psychiatrist?" she joked.             

              "Ha. I just know how you are, and I know you've always felt responsible for what happened."

              "How could I not?" She frowned. "If it weren't for me, you would've had your real mother, Grace."

              "You lost your mother, too, sis. I see it as a loss, not something you stole from me. You didn't take Mom from me and you weren't responsible for her death. It could easily have been Dad or I in the car with her that day."

              "Or no one," Sam put in quietly, his round features somber.

              Grace nodded. "And for the record, I've never felt deprived of anything. I had you, didn't I?"

              "Oh Grace." Katie's eyes burned. "Thank you."

              "Thank you." Her sister reached out and took her hand. "That's a lifetime thank-yours, by the way."

              Amazed and touched, Katie sank down on the corner of Grace's bed. "Why haven't we ever talked like this before?"

              Grace popped another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. "You were too busy telling me what to do all the time."

              "Oh, please." She noted how much improved her sister's color looked today; her blue eyes sparkled like they had before that awful confrontation at the cabin. "So, if I told you things were going to be different from now on, that I had to take a more hands-off approach to your life, you'd understand?" she hoped Grace said yes because it was really time. "I'm not abandoning you, sis. I just think we both need to stand on our own two feet."

              "I hear that," her sister said without missing a beat.

              Katie's eyes widened. "Do you know what I'm saying? No more getting you out of jams, no more intervention in your jobs or with your boyfriends."

              "I get it, sis. And I'm glad. I love you, Katie, but I know it's time for you to live your own life." She sobered. "It's time for you to stop trying to save me from mine."

              "Oh, Grace, I've never felt that way." Katie reached out and took her sister's hand.

              "I know." Grace's gaze was thoughtful. "But it's true all the same. I know what I've cost you. I know what a pain I've been and I'm going to do better."

              Had her sister even been so reflective? So decisive? "Wow."

              Sam Foster took both their hands in his big ones. "You girls have been the other's whole world for a long time. Your mom would be the first to tell you to build one of your own."

              Katie smiled, nothing the pride and encouragement saw shining in his eyes. He'd been telling her the same thing for years, but since she had said goodbye to Rick today, the words took on new meaning, opened the door to a freedom she wanted to experience.

              "You're right, Dad." Katie wasn't exactly sure how to proceed, but she would figure it out.

              Grace gave her a level look. "I appreciate how you're always there for me, Katie, but you're the one who just told me things were going to be different. Get on with it."

              "I will. As soon as we get you home and settled-"

              "I can do all that, hon," her dad said. "Grace is coming along Dr. Darren said she'll probably be discharged in a couple of days."

              "But won't you need-"

              "Dad and I can manage just fine." Grace capped her ice cream and dropped the empty carton into the wastebasket beside her bed.

              "Are you sure?" The possibility of leaving before her sister had never entered Katie's mind. Her heart urged her to go after Rick, but what if he needed more time? What if she did?

              "We'd like you to stay," Grace said, "but we don't need you. Rick does. And you need him. Go."

              A flurry of excitement tickled her belly. Katie folded her arms, stared at her dad, then her sister. "When did you get so smart and mature?"

              "When I was being chased by those two jerks from Alexander." Grace's reminded sobered them all for a moment, then she smiled. "Dad can stay. I'm out of danger."

              "She is," Sam added.

              "But you can't say the same about you and Rick."

              Sam chuckled. "Go, Dr. Grace."

              "If it were me," Grace said, "I'd be getting to Tommy as fast as I could. In fact, when I get out of here, that's what I'm going to do. Not that you asked, but I think you should do whatever you have to in order to keep Rick this time."

              Really liking this side of her sister, Katie grinned. "Got any ideas?"