Your Wish Is My Command (32 page)

She pulled from his hold, terrified that if she let him touch her a moment longer, she'd crumble when he stopped. “I don't want to be fought for now.” A lie for certain, but she had to protect herself. “You made your decision. I got over them. I'll get over you.”

That stopped him. If he'd sliced into her earlier, she'd just returned the favor tenfold, judging by the pain filling his eyes. He stood there and stared at her, feet braced apart as if to withstand the blows of the sea, hair tossing wildly around his head in the night breeze, eyes stark and empty.

When she couldn't bear the anguished silence a second longer, she turned toward the house.

“What if I don't want to be gotten over?” he asked hoarsely.

Now it was her turn to go still. Her heart made a small leap of life even though she ruthlessly sought to quash it. She turned back to him. “You said you had nothing to offer me. Your life is not your own to give. When you match me, you will be gone.”

He crossed the small space separating them, his expression so fierce and determined she almost backed up a step. Almost.

“Maybe I cannot find you another mate. Maybe there is no one else. Only me.”

Now her heart stopped leaping about. In fact, it stopped altogether. “What are you saying? Are you saying you're not really—”

“I am what I claim to be. You do believe that, don't you, Jamie?”

She nodded. “Yes. I think maybe I always have. I've wanted to believe almost anything else. Maybe because I knew from the moment I saw you in my attic that—”

He touched his fingers to her lips, then curled
them into his palm as if he couldn't bear to do only that. “That what?”

Too much was happening, too many things had to be figured out before she was ready to tell him what she felt. She shook her head. “Why did you let me leave? I was willing to stay, to try and find a solution.”

“Because I didn't believe in myself. I didn't trust this new feeling I have enough to fight for it. I thought I was doing the right thing. I truly did not believe I was made to feel this for anyone, the way I see men with women every day of my life spent on this earth. You deserved more than that.”

“What changed your mind?”

“I have spent these past weeks—how did Madamoi-selle Broussard phrase it?—'mooning all over the Quarter like an abandoned puppy.'

“You've talked to Ree?” Jamie blew out a harsh sigh. “So she told you.”

“She only wanted to see to your happiness. But it wasn't just learning of your past. All that did was help me put my own actions and decisions into perspective.” He stepped closer. “But I already realized I had done the wrong thing. I missed you. More than I thought a man could miss the company of a woman.” He began to pace. “I realized I could not tolerate the idea of anyone else having you. I want your smile, your laughter, your temper, your moods.” He stopped and sighed. “I want you all for myself. When I told you it was over, I thought I did what was best for both of us. But in truth, I was afraid. Afraid to trust that what I felt was worthy, was good enough, to risk more pain. But,
monDieu,
there can be no deeper pain than this.”

Jamie didn't know what to say.

“Unlike those before me, I cherish you. I have never stopped wanting you, never stopped wishing it could be different for me. For us.”

Jamie's heart pounded so hard that she couldn't hear herself think. “You're still what you are.”

Now he did close the space between them.
“Oui.
But now I am willing to try to discover if there is a way for this to work.” He reached out to stroke her face, but she stepped back a pace and he dropped his hand to his side. “Have you given up on me, then? Have I lost you because I was too afraid to trust in my own heart?”

Jamie pulled back another step. “I don't know what I feel.” She did know. She'd fallen deeply in love with him. But that was the last thing she could tell him right now. More false hope was the last thing either of them needed.

“You said you would have fought for me,” he said. “For us. Do you no longer consider this a worthy battle?”

“I thought so when I was in your arms, in your bed. I thought I wanted you to come charging to the rescue and pledge your undying love to me.” She looked at him, letting him see all the pain and confusion that was in her heart. “I want you, Sebastien. More than I've ever wanted anyone.”

“Then why the sadness in your eyes,
mon amour?”

“This is supposed to be the happy ending, right? Boy gets girl, loses girl, then discovers he can't live without her. Girl rejoices. Boy and girl live happily ever after.” She paused, unsure how to explain, then simply said, “How come this doesn't feel like happily ever after?”

Jamie—

“No, listen to me. Your future hasn't changed. Maybe you were right all along. I thought I could handle a relationship with you even knowing that our future was uncertain. After these past weeks I'm not so sure I would survive it. I don't think I can do happily until he has to leave.”

“Are you so certain it would end that way?”

“Can you believe otherwise?”

“You believe that I am what I say I am. Why not believe anything is possible?”

“Because if I do and I'm wrong, then what happens?

“You'd rather be alone.” He made it a statement. “You'd rather I didn't finally question my continued existence on this earth and perhaps find a way to end it.”

“How can you? Without ending it completely?”

“I don't know. But for the first time, I want to find out.” He didn't let her escape this time. He came and pulled her into his arms. “I have to find out.” He cupped her face. “Don't you understand? I can't continue in this altered existence. I want to live my life with you.”

Jamie's heart nosedived right to her toes. He was everything she'd ever wanted, and it scared her to death. A man who wanted her for herself, who wanted her so badly that he'd give his life for the chance to be with her. A man she in turn wanted so badly that she was willing to let her soul be destroyed just to be with him again. Her defenses were so mangled, she no longer knew how to keep them up. She ran a trembling hand over his cheek, bone-numbing fear and radiant joy all twisted up inside her gut. “I understand completely.”

“Then let's try to find a way. Let me find a way to give you happily ever after.”

J
amie wasn't certain she believed in happily ever after. That it was possibly staring her in the face made it seem even more improbable. “Is there any such thing for us?”

“Fight with me, Jamie,” he whispered roughly. “Help me find a way to keep us like this, with your heart beating against mine.”

She couldn't speak for the lump in her throat. This was real, and yet it seemed every bit as fantastical as Sebastien's existence. It would be so easy to say yes. In that moment she would have given anything to ensure that they would be together forever. And yet, when she nodded and pulled his head down to hers, it was the single hardest thing she'd ever done. “I'll fight for you, Sebastien Valentin,” she murmured against his lips. “But you'd damn well better make sure we win.”

His laughter, rich and full-bodied, filled the sultry night air. “
This
is the pirate queen who stole my heart.” He swung her up into his arms, ignoring her squawk of surprise as he kissed her.

They both laughed as he maneuvered her around so she could unlock the door. “I can walk, you know,” she said as they locked the door behind them. She wasn't entirely certain it was the truth. Her body shook with the need to have him inside her once again. The very idea that they would claim each other
in her bed, where she'd spent night after night trying to ignore that very fantasy, all but undid her.

“Carrying you gives me pleasure.”

She hated to admit it, but it gave her a great deal of pleasure too. “I suppose you'd enjoy knowing that I could rather get used to this.”

“Indeed. I love to feel you in my arms,” he said as he climbed up the stairs. “I never thought I would again.” He was barely winded when he slid her to her feet inside her bedroom doorway. He looked from her face, bathed in the moonlight streaming through the curved front window, to the bed. “I have so longed to have you here. I have longed to see your hair spread upon the pillows, your arms lifted in welcome to me.”

Jamie slid the band from the end of her long braid and slowly began to untwine her hair. A devilish smile curved her lips. “Your wish is my command.”

His grin was so wicked it took her breath away. “I rather like this reversal of roles.” He stepped closer to her and lifted his hands to the buttons of her polo shirt. “How many wishes do I receive?” He leaned down and nipped gently at the curve of her neck.

“And here I thought racing was a good adrenaline rush,” she murmured as he continued his assault, shifting his lips to the sensitive spot at the nape of her neck.

He pushed aside her heavy mane of hair and nibbled his way around her neck as he moved behind her. She felt his chest brush against her back and gasped. She'd had no idea that her spine was such an erogenous zone.

“I like that I make your heart pound,” he whispered, brushing his lips toward her other earlobe. “Just the taste of your skin makes my pulse race like that death-defying automobile of yours.” He circled back in front of her. He lifted her hand and kissed
her palm very gently, but with definite purpose, then curled her fingers around it. “You carry my heart right there,” he said.

Her own heart skipped a beat, and a lump formed in her throat. She would fight for this man, for the happiness he could give her. Life didn't hand out guarantees on time. Any time they had together was worth whatever toll it took. He was worth it. And looking into his smiling eyes, she knew for certain that she was worth it too.

Jamie shook her hair loose, the unbraided waves cascading over her shoulders. “How many wishes should I grant you?” she asked, feeling suddenly lighthearted and free. Freer than she'd ever felt, even when racing across the wide open water. Now she had something important to race toward. A finish line that could reap rewards she'd never even dreamed of. “You've already used one. And I believe the standard is three.”

“Then I will take the other two. With pleasure.”

Her smile was bold this time. “Use them wisely. Because then it will be my turn.”

“Perhaps my wish will be to grant you more wishes.”

“Oh, no, it doesn't work that way.”

He immediately captured her hips and held them firmly in place when she tried to move away. “
Non?
Then why don't you show me how it works.”

She took the challenge and began to unbutton his shirt. The task was made all the more erotic when he refused to release his grip on her hips. She was forced to lean back to get to them all, which only served to press her hips all the more intimately into his.

“Your turn,” he said as she slid the shirt down his arms and let it drop to the floor. “And I wish to see you more clearly. Turn on your bedside lamp.”

“That's wish number two,” she said, her voice a bit
shaky as his fingers slid beneath her shirt and pulled it over her head. He held her tightly enough for her to arch over and just barely reach the switch on the lamp. He lifted her upright, the tips of her breasts just brushing against his chest. “One wish left.” She moaned aloud when he bent his head and captured a nipple through the cotton cup of her bra. “But please,” she managed, “take your time.”

“I plan to take all the time allowed me.” He bent her gently onto the bed.

He followed her down, and there was no escaping her deep groan of satisfaction when he settled his weight on her in all the right places. “Pants,” she gasped. “We have on too many pants.”

He chuckled, the action making his lips vibrate against a particularly sensitive spot just above her navel. He'd somehow managed to slide down her body, his mouth doing all sorts of interesting things to her stomach. She lifted her head just as he managed the tricky maneuver of unbuttoning her pants with his teeth. Their eyes caught and he winked at her, teeth bared with the fabric of her pants clutched firmly between them. He lifted his head so the zipper slowly opened, then released her pants and looked intently into her eyes before dipping his head down, apparently intent on the elastic waistband of her panties.

Dear God, she thought dazedly, he was every woman's pirate fantasy. Only he was no fantasy.

Her head lolled back on the bed. She felt the night air brush her skin as he slid her pants down her legs, with his hands this time. His mouth was now finding all these interesting paths along her thighs. Who knew the knees were erogenous zones? Hell, with this man, there was no such thing as a nonerogenous zone.

She felt his weight leave the bed, and she opened her eyes to find him standing at the edge of the
mattress between her now-bare legs. He lifted her feet and placed them on his chest, then pressed one foot to his mouth and began to tease her with his lips and teeth, working his way slowly toward her knee. He watched her all the while. She was hot and edgy, wanting him to move faster, to hurry. It was all she could do to keep her hips on the bed when what she desperately wanted was to buck and writhe as he continued his slow and thorough assault. “Sebastien, please—”

He lifted his head. “I have one wish left, then you may begin making your demands of me.”

She groaned and dropped her head back on the bed, accepting her defeat willingly.

He unbuckled his pants and she heard the whisper of fabric as they slid to his feet. She had to look, then immediately wished she hadn't. Torture. It was sheer torture. And naturally he was grinning.

“I see you approve.”

“What, bikini briefs weren't … brief enough?” Her voice sounded more like a croak.

“At the moment, any restraint is too much.” He stripped the indecent scrap of black cotton off.

And she'd thought the torture couldn't get worse. The man was gorgeous. Everywhere. She truly hadn't … well, magnified his gifts during their time spent apart. There was no stopping her from squirming now. Her body knew what awaited it, and it wanted it right now, dammit.