Your Heart's Desire (4 page)

He shrugged. “Not really.”

“Yes, you are,” she insisted. “What would I do without you?”

“Be lonely?” He grinned.

She pointed to the kitchen clock. “And now it's time for you to start thinking about bed yourself, young man.”

“Can I open my boxes from home first?” he asked. “I want to find some of my own books. I'm tired of reading baby books.”

She laughed. “Yes, by all means find your own books. And I've got just the thing for you to store them on. As well as some of your other things. Tell you what, you stay up here to listen for the kids and I'll run down there and put it in your room.”

It didn't take long to move the small pine bookshelf into Joseph's room. She placed it beneath the window, then stood back to look. With the bedside table and small dresser and desk, delivered earlier, this tiny space was looking more like a boy's bedroom. And instead of the additional furnishings making it look smaller, it almost seemed bigger. As she went upstairs, she felt invigorated again, suddenly eager to put more things in place. Except that she was babysitting and it seemed irresponsible to be that far from Danny and Lulu. But then she got an idea.

Joseph was thrilled at the idea of staying up late. And before long, dressed in his pajamas and robe and armed with some “big boy” books, he took his post in the living room and she went down to the apartment to continue putting their new home into order. “I'll leave the door open,” she called. “Come and get me if you need anything.”

As she unpacked boxes, she felt surprised at how many household items she really had. And she didn't miss the irony—realizing that her kitchen cupboards were packed full, meanwhile Marjorie's were fairly sparse. But then Caroline and Joe had gotten married many years ago. She still had their treasured wedding gifts, as well as other things she'd accumulated over the years. And, of course, this kitchen was about one-fourth the size of the one upstairs. Still, it felt good to see a well-stocked kitchen.

Eventually it was past eleven and she knew it was high time Joseph went to bed. She went upstairs to find him curled up on the sofa with a book. She bent down to kiss him on the head, noticing a small splotch of aqua-blue paint still in his hair. “Thank you, my prince,” she said quietly. “Now it's time for you to go to bed.”

He nodded sleepily, starting to gather his things.

“Just leave it,” she insisted. “I'll bring them down.”

After he left, she picked up one of the books. It was one that had belonged to her as a child, one of her favorites—
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
. As much as she'd enjoyed the movie and the memory of how she and Joe had taken little Joseph to see it, she still felt the book was better. She opened the first page and started to read, but just like the Cowardly Lion in the poppy field, she found her eyelids growing very heavy…feeling herself drifting off to sleep. Instead of dreaming about the Tin Man or the Scarecrow, she dreamed she was a car mechanic struggling to fix a long yellow convertible that belonged to the handsome stranger from the coffee shop.

Chapter 5

On Sunday morning, after
fixing Joseph pancakes for breakfast, Caroline went upstairs to see what time Marjorie and Rich were going to church and if it would be all right to join them. “Oh, we weren't planning on going today,” Marjorie told her. “We got home so late last night. And I figured you'd be tired, too.” She made an impish grin. “Don't tell Mom and Dad, but we don't go
every
Sunday.”

“Oh…okay.” Caroline nodded.

“I'm hungry, Mommy.” Danny tugged on Marjorie's bathrobe.

“Want to join us for breakfast?” Marjorie removed the baby bottle from the hot water, giving it a shake. “I haven't got anything started yet, but—”

“Thanks anyway,” Caroline said quickly. “We already ate. And I've almost got the kitchen set up so we should be all right from here on out.” She ran her hand over Danny's head. “I want to respect your space, Marjorie. I think in the long run we'll be better off for it.”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” Marjorie frowned slightly as she handed Danny the bottle. “Go give this to your sister and I'll see what I can round up for your breakfast.”

Caroline excused herself, then went back down to the apartment. “Looks like no church today,” she told Joseph. “Unless we want to go on our own, but I don't even know where the church is.”

“I saw a church when Uncle Rich brought us home that night,” he told her.

“Near here?”

“I think so. It looked like a big box, and the windows were all lit up with colors.”

“Do you think you could find this church?”

“Sure.”

Caroline looked at the clock she'd hung in the kitchen last night. It was one that she and Joe had picked out together when Joseph was little. The friendly black cat, with eyes and tail that twitched back and forth with seconds, never failed to humor her. And if the cat's time was correct, it seemed reasonable that they'd be in time for a service.

“Okay.” Caroline reached for her black handbag. “Let's see what we can find.”

Joseph seemed to know which way to go and Caroline decided to just let him lead the way. It was a bright, pleasant morning, and, at the least, they would have an enjoyable stroll. However, she regretted her navy-blue suit. Made of wool, it was far too warm for these summery temperatures. She considered removing the jacket, but that seemed too informal for a Sunday service.

“Do you think it's much farther?” she asked Joseph after about ten minutes. Of course, he didn't know. And just when she was about to give up, there, sure enough, was a square brick church with big stained-glass windows. “You're good,” Caroline told him as they tentatively approached the stalwart building. The large sign in front gave the service schedule, but according to her watch, they were late for the first service. “Maybe we should come back—”

“Hello, hello,” a stout elderly woman warmly greeted them. Wearing a purple dress and matching hat, she had a Bible under one arm and a big red handbag looped over the other. “Are you here for first service?”

“Well, yes, but—”

“No time to waste.” The woman hooked her arm in Caroline's, leading them up the concrete steps. “I'm Mrs. Franklin, and I can tell you're new because I've never seen you before. And I know everyone in this church. My father helped build this church in 1878.”

“I'm Mrs. Clark,” Caroline said, “and this is Joseph.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Clark. Now you will take the first door to your right,” Mrs. Franklin instructed. “And I will escort this handsome young man to Sunday school. Let me guess, are you in the fourth grade?”

“Third.”

“Tall for your age, aren't you?”

“But I—” Caroline looked at Joseph, but he seemed unconcerned. “See you later,” she called as Mrs. Franklin swooshed him away. Caroline stared at the big wooden door, which she assumed led to the sanctuary since she could hear the strains of a pipe organ coming through it. She had always disliked being late to church back home, but it felt even worse to come late to a church she'd never attended before. Taking in a deep breath, she gently pushed open the door and was met by a thin gray-haired man. “Right this way, miss.” He smiled as he led her down the aisle, clear to the middle, where he motioned to the pew on her right.

Fortunately, the congregation was singing a hymn, so her entrance wasn't quite as intrusive as she feared. The woman next to her handed Caroline a hymnal, even helped her to find the right page. As she joined in the singing of the familiar chorus, Caroline began to relax.

When the congregation sat down, Caroline attempted to gather her bearings. Although this church wasn't the same denomination as she was accustomed to, it felt familiar and she suspected it was similar. The reverend was well spoken and intelligent, and his message was from the scriptures. Perhaps Joseph had found them a good church after all.

As she scanned the backs of the congregation, she felt slightly surprised to see that the women here, like Mrs. Franklin, appeared to enjoy wearing bright-colored clothing. So much so that Caroline felt rather dowdy and dark in her somber navy suit.

As the benediction was given, Caroline took a moment to study the stained-glass windows on both sides of the sanctuary. The one to her left showed three crosses on a green hillside, with light beams and a rainbow behind it. But when she looked at the one on her right, she nearly gasped at its beauty. It must've been facing east since the sun was pouring through it. She stared in awe and wonder, taking in the amazing depiction of a ten-foot-tall shepherd holding a lamb in his arms, surrounded by green pastures and sapphire-blue streams. She could hardly take her eyes off it.

She realized the service had ended while she was still staring at the shepherd image when the woman to her right gently nudged her. “It is lovely, isn't it?”

Caroline blinked and nodded. “I'm sorry. You probably wanted out.”

“No hurry.” The older woman stuck out a gloved hand. “I'm Mrs. Pruitt.”

Caroline introduced herself, gathered her purse, and stood up, moving out of the way so the others in the pew could make their exit. But instead of leaving with them, Caroline remained behind, slipping into an empty pew in order to simply stare at the window…to absorb its beauty. Surely, no one would mind.

“I see we meet again,” a vaguely familiar male voice said from behind her.

She turned around to see the stranger from the coffee shop smiling in amusement at her. At first she thought she was imagining things, and for a brief moment she wondered if this was part of last night's dream. Did he have a yellow convertible for her to repair?

Determined to remain poised, she smiled politely. “I was just admiring this gorgeous window.” She turned her attention back to the glowing glass.

“It is beautiful. Especially this time of day. And this time of year the light angle is perfect. It really makes the color come alive. There are seventeen different shades of green in that window, and nearly that much of the blue tones, too.”

“Spoken like an artist.” She peered curiously at him. “Or at least someone with an appreciation for art.”

He nodded with a thoughtful expression. “I've always loved looking at it.”

“Oh, there you are, Terry.” A strikingly attractive blond woman hurried toward them. Dressed in a pale pink linen suit and pearls, she looked like a cover girl for
Vogue
magazine. Or maybe a film star. “The Buckaroos are waiting for you. I promised them I'd round you up.” She glanced curiously at Caroline. “Sorry to steal him from you, but believe me, those young men can get impatient. I was getting worried that they were getting ready to string me up.” She smiled as she stuck out her hand to Caroline. “I'm Evelyn Stuart. I don't believe we've met.”

“I'm Caroline Clark.” She nervously shook the woman's hand. “Please, don't let me keep you.”

“Yes. Thanks. Come on, Terry,” Evelyn urged. “The natives are restless.”

“Excuse me,” he said as Evelyn tugged him away.

Not wanting to appear as if she was following them, Caroline remained put. As she stared up at the window, she wondered that this Terry person didn't introduce himself, but then he'd hardly had the chance when Evelyn had pulled him off like that. Caroline studied the window. Did it really have seventeen shades of green? No matter, it would be just as pretty with sixteen. Although it didn't seem quite as breathtaking as it had before. Maybe the sunlight had shifted or a cloud had dimmed the light.

“Mom?”

Caroline turned to see Joseph coming toward her. For some reason she felt extremely delighted to see him. Her little man! “Oh, there you are,” she said as she embraced him, holding him tightly.

“Are you okay?” he asked when she finally let him go.

She smiled down at him. “I'm perfectly fine.” She gestured to the window. “I was just enjoying the view in here. You were absolutely right, the windows here are very pretty.”

He looked up and nodded, and for a long moment they both just stood there gazing at it.

“Did you enjoy Sunday school?” she asked as they started to leave the sanctuary.

“I wasn't sure at first, but then I decided I did like it.”

“Good.” She paused in the foyer, trying to remember which was the way out.

“Can I become a Buckaroo?” he asked.

“What exactly is a Buckaroo?”

“It's kind of like Boy Scouts, but it's part of this church. First off, you have to be a boy, and you got to be at least ten years old, and have your parents' permission.”

“But you're not ten yet.” She tried the biggest door, giving it a push; she saw daylight outside. She was eager to be back in the sunshine…to regain her balance.

“I'm
almost
ten,” he reminded her as he helped pull open the heavy door. “It won't be long until I'm ten.”

“Then maybe you should ask me about the Buckaroos in early February.” She put her arm around his shoulders as they went down the exterior steps. “It'll be here before you know it.”

“Then can we come back here next Sunday?” he asked eagerly.

“You really want to?”

“Yeah!” He nodded eagerly. “I made a friend. Jimmy Rolland. And he told me I'll go to the same school as him.”

“How does Jimmy Rolland know that?”

“'Cause I told him where we live. Well, not exactly, because I don't know our new address exactly. But I told him the street name and stuff. And he said I will probably go to McKinley Elementary just like him. And he said school starts up on Wednesday, the day after New Year's Day.”

“That's actually correct. All of it.”

“See, I told you Jimmy knew.”

“Jimmy sounds like a smart boy.”

“And he doesn't live very far away from Aunt Marjorie's,” Joseph continued.

“That's convenient.” As they walked, she couldn't stop thinking about the stranger named Terry. At least that's what she thought Evelyn had called him. “Do you know who leads the Buckaroos?” Caroline asked a bit timidly as they came up to their apartment.

“Jimmy said his name is Terry. But not like a girl Terry. A guy Terry.”

“Uh-huh.” She removed her hat, pausing to study its very conservative design. It looked like something an old lady would wear. But for some reason she hadn't cared before.

“And Jimmy said he's going to call me
Joe
.” Joseph paused to look at her. “Is that okay? I mean if Jimmy calls me Joe?”

She smiled down at him. “That's completely up to you, dear.”

“I know that was Dad's name. You called him Joe, and you called me Joseph so you wouldn't mix us up. But since Dad's…well, gone, you wouldn't mix us up anymore.”

Caroline felt a lump in her throat as she leaned down to hug her son. “You're right. I wouldn't mix you up, Joseph. But you are very much like your dad. And for that I am thankful.”

He hugged her back, then looked earnestly into her eyes. “So, if it's okay, I'll be Joe now. And when I go to my new school, everyone will call me Joe Clark.
Okay?
”

She nodded. “Yes, that's fine.” She removed her jacket. “But you'll have to be patient with me if I forget and still call you Joseph sometimes.”

“Oh, that's okay. Moms can do that.”

“Hello down there?” Rich's voice called from up above. “Anybody home?”

“We're here,” Joseph called brightly as he dashed up the stairs. No, not Joseph anymore—except for her and only if she forgot—but
Joe
. Just like his dad. Just Joe. Joe Clark. Yes, it sounded right for a young man. And yes, she thought she could remember that, too.

“Uncle Rich wants to take me and Danny to the park,” Joe announced when he returned. “Can I go?”

“Of course.” And she didn't even bother to tell him to change out of his church clothes first, because he was already peeling them off as he sprinted to his bedroom.