Young, Allyson - Broken [Running to Love 2] (Siren Publishing Allure) (10 page)

“You don’t by chance have any items with you, do you, Devon?” Kyle asked.

Devon shrugged. “I just bought Alex a new toy or two.” He reached into the back seat.

“I’ll take the toys and make do,” Kyle said grimly.

“Better think it through and have a plan, Kyle,” replied Devon, “You may think you know your woman, but if she ran from you…”

Kyle took the proffered bag and shook Devon’s hand. “I can’t thank you enough for the help.”

Devon took the hint and thumped Kyle’s shoulder. He climbed into his vehicle and pulled out into traffic, leaving Kyle standing on the sidewalk clutching a bright-orange bag embossed with
JOY
, feeling as though he had just lost his best friend. Which maybe he had. What the hell was Tabitha doing?

Kyle regrouped and turned, striding into the hotel with purpose. He ascended to Tabitha’s suite and let himself in, going straight to the bathroom to unwrap and wash the gel dildo. He dried it carefully and placed it in the bedside table along with the vibe. He pulled the covers down to the foot of the bed and turned both bedside lamps onto their highest setting. Next, he tested the stability of the headboard and footboard. There was nothing else he could utilize except maybe his belt, so he took that off to place by the bed, only to put it back on through the loops. Tabi-cat could watch as he pulled it free and doubled it into his fist. He would use her stockings and bra to restrain her, or she could damn well just hold onto the headboard at his order. He felt his arousal build with the anticipation.

A quick search then turned up nothing in the way of clothes or anything else, and he worried she would not return. But there was nothing left to do but wait. He was good at waiting and took the chair by the door. He idly paged through a few pieces of paper on the desk, noting numbers and calculations in six digits, but they meant nothing to him.

* * * *

Tabitha hurried through the hotel entrance. It was nearly dark, and she had finally concluded her business. She had a suitcase packed with a few changes of clothes, courtesy of a department store, and new credit and bank cards that corresponded to her new account. The bank manager had once again assisted her even with her limited identification. The large bank draft had helped. Her passport was still at Kyle’s house. There, she didn’t say it was still at home. She was letting go. It didn’t hurt. It did not. She had her driver’s licence, but that was all. Reapplying for a social security card, applying for health insurance and all the other mundane, taken-for-granted pieces of life’s identity had to wait.

She had stopped at a travel agency and booked a flight out in the morning that would take her to Oregon. She would have to pay cash for the tickets at the airport until her credit card was activated, but she had that covered. Tabitha didn’t know why Oregon, but she thought she might find sanity there and a place to paint without interruption. No, she wouldn’t think of Kyle and painting in the same sentence. She would need to paint. If nothing else, she could live away from people. Live until she died. In truth, she felt like she lived in the skin of yet another woman right now, or at least shared the body with someone else. The old Tabitha was gone, and so was the second chance Tabitha. There was the “before Kyle life,” the “with Kyle life,” and the “after Kyle life.” The “after Kyle life” was forever, and right now, she hoped it didn’t last too long. Tabitha wouldn’t take her own life, but she didn’t expect she would make any effort to prolong it either. The ache of her heart and ashes of her soul had crept past her busy brain, and Tabitha needed to get to her room and recover as best she could.

Tabitha let herself into her hotel suite and was struck by the dimness yet noted the illumination coming from the bedroom. That was strange. Perhaps the maid had turned the lamps on. She threw the deadbolt and set her suitcase down, only then becoming aware of the shadowed form sitting in the very chair she had chosen earlier to wait in for the sounds of her future. There was no doubt in her mind who it could be.

“Kyle,” she stated.

He rose and advanced toward her, and it took all of her composure to face him and not back away. He reached out and fisted her hair, pulling her to him and taking her mouth in a brutal, punishing kiss. Tabitha endured and, somehow, did not respond nor surrender to him. He released her, only to take her arm and half drag her to the bedroom, snatching up her suitcase in his other hand.

“Stop,” she said.

Kyle ignored her and pushed her to sit on the bed, then opened the case and sifted through the contents. He pulled out the stockings and garter belt she had changed out of in the store and tossed them on the bed beside her. She knew he was thinking they would work as restraints. He stared at her, and she saw anger and lust in his eyes. There was something else, too, but too fleeting for her to recognize.

“Take off your clothes,” Kyle commanded in a dark, intent tone.

“No,” she said, staring at him.

Kyle advanced on her and reached for her shirt, rage and lust dancing across his features before he schooled them into his usual composed visage.

She shoved at his hands. “Benjamin.”

Kyle froze and appeared to stop breathing. He backed away and repeated what she had said.

“Benjamin?”

“Yes, Kyle, my safe word. The one I never used. Never.” Tabitha’s control almost broke on the word but she continued, “But I expect you remember that.”

“I’m not letting you have a safe word tonight, Tabi. You are going to receive punishment, and then you are going to make things up to me. Then I’m taking you home,” growled Kyle.

“Where’s your honor, Kyle?” she asked calmly. “Or has that gone by the wayside, too, along with betraying the total trust I afforded you?”

* * * *

Kyle held himself perfectly still and reached for the control this woman had nearly stripped from him. When he was certain he wouldn’t push her down on the bed and fuck her senseless for worrying him, no, for terrifying him, he responded.

“We need to work this out, Tabi-cat,” he said slowly. “You know we do.”

“There’s nothing to work out, Kyle. I. Don’t. Trust. You. Anymore.”

That flat statement blew Kyle’s plans, hopes, and dreams out of the water in an instant. He heard the certainty, the coldness in her tone and recognized her devastation. He briefly bowed his head then raised it to look at her.

“I’m not backing away from this, Tabi-cat. We have something together, and I’m not giving it up. I’m not letting you go.”

Tabitha replied in the same, flat tone, “We no longer have anything, Kyle, and I am not yours to keep. I want you to leave, or I will get hotel security involved if you can’t follow your own protocol.”

Kyle’s eyes tracked to her throat and saw the absence of his collar, an angry red welt apparent instead. He accepted the momentary reality of the situation and acquiesced. He turned and moved toward the couch in the living area of the suite, forcing himself to avoid looking at her again. If he did that, he would take her down into a world of pleasure, and while he knew her body would respond, she might hate him for it. She was clearly exhausted, on the edge, and despite the fact that everything in him cried out to push her and not leave her to think anymore, he wouldn’t risk her hatred. If she didn’t hate him already. For the first time in his life, he didn’t know what the correct decision was to make.

“I’ll sleep out here, Tabitha,” he said. “We’ll talk further in the morning.”

Tabitha closed the bedroom door behind him. She didn’t turn the lock. She didn’t need to. The informal barrier underscored her earlier message. Kyle lay on the couch, his eyes open and fixed on the ceiling, his jaw taut, as he listened to the sounds of his woman in abject pain in the next room. He wanted to go to her, to comfort and reassure her, but held back, not knowing what to do for the first time in their relationship. When he could no longer hear her crying, his eyes drifted shut, and he lapsed into his first rest in nearly thirty-six hours.

Kyle awoke late the next morning, initially disoriented, and then he recalled the events of the past two days. He sat up and swung his legs to the floor, looking toward the closed door of the bedroom. He hated to wake Tabi but needed the bathroom, and then he would slide in beside her, so she would awaken to his touch and listen to what he had to say. She would come to understand what had happened. Kyle eased the door open and walked silently to the bathroom. He used the toilet and scanned the room. It looked the same as it did the previous evening, but he had picked up on something different.

Kyle re-entered the bedroom and moved toward the bed. A mound of linens covered her slender form, and he smiled with tenderness, remembering how chilled she got without him beside her in bed. His smile disappeared as he realized the only thing on the bed was the piled bedding, and he looked to see that the suitcase was gone. He had automatically registered its disappearance on the way to the bathroom but had subconsciously rejected the message it gave him.

“Fuck,” he cursed. “God damn her, she got past me.”

His words echoed in the empty room, mocking him. Kyle sat on the bed, his head in his hands. He spotted something shining on the bedside table and leaned over to pick it up. It was his collar, the delicate chain snapped through, the diamonds scattered and hanging along the double knotted strands. He was suddenly overcome with despair, and it rolled over his anger and frustration like a tidal wave. Tabitha had left him, and he didn’t know if he had the energy to find her again because, deep down, he didn’t think he could fix things. She didn’t trust him anymore. That rang like a death knell. He had been the only person in her life that had gained her trust, and he had let her down. That she still loved him he didn’t doubt. Her anguish the night before was proof of that, but there could be no relationship without trust, and Tabitha had been a broken individual when he’d met her. Only he had made her whole, and he suspected she was broken again, at best badly bent. No matter that the circumstances could be explained and, in actuality, absolve him, Tabitha’s world had crumbled around her, and she had taken on a survival persona harder and more resourceful than ever before. The very brittleness of that persona could spell disaster for her, but she wouldn’t know that. He didn’t know how he could live without her, but he likely had no choice. And he had never told her that he loved her, not once. What did that say about him?

Chapter Nine

Tabitha boarded the flight to Portland, Oregon right on time. There was an awkward moment when she had had to remove her sunglasses for the flight attendant checking boarding passes, but the woman had tactfully avoided comment. Tabitha knew her eyes were swollen to mere slits in her face, and her cheeks glowed raw from the chafe of spent tears. But it didn’t matter what anyone thought of her. She was untouchable, separate from everyone else now, an entity unto herself. The shell would be civil, polite, and cope well in society, for God knew it had had enough practice. The woman beneath simmered with pain and rage, the love burned off. Tabitha was alone again, and she was solidly in “life after Kyle” mode. The lessons of childhood served her well. His name would never darken her thoughts again.

She had heard him moving around beyond the bedroom door the night before as she rested her forehead against the wood panel. She had then turned and gone into the bathroom, cooling her face at the sink, brushing her teeth on autopilot. She had shed her clothes, carelessly dropping them as she staggered to the bed, crawling up onto the mattress, pulling the covers up over her head. She had dissolved then, the pain of losing Kyle and the falseness of their relationship washing over her, and she had wept uncontrollably, her sobs muffled by the bed linens and pillows. She had known better than to trust. Served her right. Exhaustion had finally taken her into sleep.

She had risen early in the hotel and quickly washed and dressed, leaving the items Kyle had pulled from her suitcase where they’d fallen. She hadn’t even made any real effort to leave without waking him. He was dead to the world, sprawled on the couch, and she spared him but a glance, afraid her heart would force her to abdicate her plans. The hotel staff was efficient in assisting her with checkout, and she walked a block in the early-morning sunshine before catching a cab to the airport.

The plane droned through the sky, and Tabitha drifted in and out of a light doze. Her seat partner, a nice-looking, young man, tried to make conversation with her but was soon deterred by her aloofness and forays into sleep. She was one of the first to disembark with her carry-on and made her way to the taxi stand. Taking the scenic route to a modest motel on the outskirts, Tabitha made conversation with the driver, and he told her that a local real estate company had a good reputation for finding the right property for people.