You Will Die: The Burden of Modern Taboos (5 page)

We approach the modern view by 1859, when
The Habits of Good Society
admonished that “Spitting is at all times a disgusting habit. I need say nothing more than—never indulge in it. Besides being coarse and atrocious, it is very bad for the health.”
^12
,
13

Currently the prohibition on spitting is so accepted that it is not even mentioned in books of etiquette.
The Habits of Good Society
was a handbook for adults, but in our culture spitting admonitions would only be found in books for young children. Even that might be considered odd, because most children have the spitting ban internalized well before learning how to read.

Our views toward spitting have completed a remarkable evolution. Spitting went from being considered a biological necessity to being a criminal activity, the mere sight of which can cause some to become physically sick.
^14
,
15
During this process, commentators went from giving reasons for progressively tighter and tighter restraint (“spit under the table so it doesn’t get in others’ food”), to simply bashing it (spitting is a “disgusting habit”), to not needing to mention it at all. It was at these final stages, when opposing views were not even considered, that spitting became a taboo.

In
A Clockwork Orange
, a man named Alex is convicted of murdering an elderly woman.
¹⁶
Instead of serving a long prison term, he is subject to draconian aversion therapy. For two weeks his eyelids are pried open and he is forced to watch violent film scenes while being administered drugs that induce severe nausea. After the treatment Alex is released, but now cannot even think of violence without paralyzing and unbearable anguish. The government has brainwashed Alex to censor his own thoughts. This is the power of taboo.

Because of self-censorship, tabooed topics lack open discussion and accurate information.
¹⁷
Without these two tools, irrational views cannot be changed. By protecting irrational views, taboos hinder progress toward greater happiness.

This book will demonstrate the burden of modern taboos by covering the irrational taboos currently in American society. The intent of this book is
not
to advocate all tabooed activities and beliefs, but to present them truthfully, so that readers can make their own well-informed decisions. Each chapter will define the taboo, explain its origins, and describe its repercussions for our society. The chapters will progress from less burdensome to more burdensome taboos.

People enjoy belittling the irrational taboos of “primitive” cultures that have come before us. This book intends to show that we have our own follies. Future societies will almost certainly consider some of our unquestioned beliefs silly, irrational, and despicable. Who are our Aztec sacrifices?

1
        Quotations from Davíd Carrasco,
City of Sacrifice
(1999), pp. 142, 145, 155.

2
        Michael Harner, “Enigma of Aztec Sacrifice,”
Nat. Hist
., Apr. 1977, pp. 46–51.

3
        Figures are debated. Michael Smith,
Aztecs
(2002), pp. 58, 312.

4
        Inga Clendinnen,
Aztecs
(1991), pp. 91, 322.

5
        Harner, “Enigma of Aztec Sacrifice.”

6
        Ibid. and Michael Winkelman, “Aztec Human Sacrifice.”
Ethnology
, Summer. 1998, pp. 285–298.

7
        Gary Jennings,
Aztec
(1980), p. 213.

8
        
Taboo
comes from the Polynesian word
tabu
. Most Polynesian dialects define
tabu
as sacred, but use it informally to describe anything forbidden. Hutton Webster,
Taboo
(1973), pp. 2–7.

9
        For example, nasal mucus (NM) is taboo. (1) NM, as a topic, is taboo in that it cannot be freely discussed; (2) NM, as a thing, is taboo in that people find it inherently disgusting; and (3) NM, as an action, is taboo in that one should not touch it.

10
.      A historic example of this was the Roman Catholic Church during the Middle Ages. Currently, American majorities can also force their views on the rest of country. The only protection minorities have are the courts’ enforcement of constitutional protections. The concept of unchecked majorities in democracies is known as “tyranny of the majority.” It was a concern of Thomas Jefferson and other American Founding Fathers.

11
.      The following spitting chronology is from Norbert Elias,
History of Manners
(1982), pp. 153–160.

12
.      Ibid., p. 156.

13
.      The writer meant unhealthy for the spitter, not for the other people coming in contact with the saliva. In 1859, Louis Pasteur was still formulating the connection between germs and disease.

14
.      The District of Columbia, New York City, Philadelphia, and the state of Virginia have all criminalized public spitting.

15
.      Jeff Ventura, “Spitting Image of America.”
Columbia News Service
, 8 May 2002, ret.
Columbia.edu
, 8 Aug. 2006.

16
.      The novel by Anthony Burgess was published in 1962.

17
.      Bad ideas are defeated by argument and persuasion, not by censorship. See John Stuart Mill,
On Liberty
(1859); Thomas Paine’s introduction to
The Age of Reason
(1794); and Oliver Wendell Holmes’ dissent in
Abrams v. United States
, 250 US 616 (1919).

N
ASAL
M
UCUS

S
TILL
P
ICKING

Right now I have the repugnant concoction in my stomach of cheap salty crabmeat that I think was probably spoiled, chocolate Tastykake donuts, blueberry bagel, peanuts, and boogers, the latter two being the most plentiful. Do I disgust myself? Naaah.

At this stage of my life I only feel guilty about my nasal habits when my picking causes bleeding. When I am alone in bed at night and blood starts dripping on my pillow is when I think, you know what, maybe I really am a disgusting pig.

These feelings of self-loathing used to be more prominent. As a self-conscious pubescent I thought the immense size of my nose might be my fault, its full figure caused by the constant finger-probing received during its formation. I also felt horrible when I spied my little sister consume something plucked from her nose. I figured that my indiscretions around her before she learned to talk were the cause.

There was also the fear before each childhood doctor’s visit that this would be the time the doctor exclaimed, “My God son, half the inside of your nose is torn away. What the hell have you been doing up there?” And then I would have to tell him because if I did not, he would not be able to prevent something serious from happening—like my nose falling off.

Surprisingly, despite doing it everywhere I have avoided the public humiliation that followed a high school peer of mine caught eating a booger. However, I have not gone unscathed. In my mid-twenties I was napping with a woman I was dating when I sensed a breathing impediment.

A quick poke revealed it to be the type of booger that has mucus stretching somewhere deep into your skull. If you can successfully pull the whole apparatus out you are rewarded with the eerily pleasing sensation that a part of your brain is being dislodged. Unfortunately, despite having my back turned to my partner, she saw it all. A high-pitched scream split my head.

I feigned like I was asleep, that I had no idea what I had been doing, and that I was just as repulsed as she was. “I’m afraid to go back to sleep in front of you. What else might I be doing when I’m out?!” I don’t know if she bought this sleep-booger-eating defense, but it made an extremely awkward conversation merely highly awkward. How does one explain why they eat their boogers?

To her credit, she did not end the relationship right there. It must have been a shocking sight to the uninitiated. I hoped she would forget, but it’s over five years later and she hasn’t.

Nasal mucus is more commonly known as snot. Snot is a clear mucus produced in the lining of the nose and in hollow sections of the skull called sinuses. Snot’s biological function is to catch dirt and other contaminants in the air to prevent them from entering the lungs.

Millions of tiny hairs in the nasal passages called cilia wave ten times per second, sweeping the snot back toward your throat at the rate of a quarter-inch per minute. Each day a quart of dirty snot ends up sliding into your stomach via the esophagus, where the germs are destroyed by potent digestive juices.
¹

In cold weather the cilia slow down and can even freeze. Without the cilia
sweeping, the snot being produced slides right out the nostrils. This is commonly referred to as a “runny nose” or “nasal drip.”

The cilia are not to be confused with the bigger hairs that can grow into monstrosities in older men. Those long hairs are called vibrissae. They do not wave like cilia. The vibrissae serve as filters for larger airborne particles. The whole operation works so well that the nose is one of the cleanest parts of your body.
²

Sometimes snot dries and the resulting product is too large for the cilia to transport. This dried snot is popularly referred to as boogers. Boogers are similar to pearls. Just as an oyster irritant is at the heart of a pearl, a nose irritant, such as a dust particle, is at the heart of a booger. In an oyster, the irritant is coated with nacre to form a pearl. In a nose, the irritant is coated with snot and dries to form a booger. Large boogers can block free air flow.

Abundant snot can also clog the nasal passages. This excess can be caused by an allergy, a virus, or an infection. If the snot is its natural clear color, or white, it is probably an allergy or a virus (a cold), and if it is yellow or green it is probably a bacterial infection. Boogers and excessive snot can be removed by one of three ways: inhalation, exhalation, or manual removal.

Nasal mucus is a mild taboo. The social enforcement of not touching or discussing it is not strict. Discussing snot and one’s experiences with it, or picking one’s nose in public, are likely to be seen merely as immature and rude. Being laughed at is the common reaction. Even the eating of nasal refuse would only get the transgressor labeled as disgusting. Anger would only be aroused in someone socially responsible for the taboo violator, such as an employer or mother.
³
Public handling of nasal mucus has not been criminalized. In line with this mild reaction, not many people have a vested interest in the conventional disdain of nasal mucus.

The taboo has still caused ignorance by keeping nasal mucus out of school
curriculum. Most Americans in a high school biology class will learn about the alveoli, the pancreas, and the gall bladder. Odds are they will not find those things interesting to study, nor will they remember anything about them a year later.

In contrast, most kids never learn about nasal mucus. Something people have contact with every day is skipped over. Surveys have found seventy to ninety-five percent of people pick boogers out of their nose and eight percent of people eat them,
⁴
yet our educational system does not tell us what they are.
⁵
An entertaining, interesting, and memorable topic is avoided so that teachers can comfortably conform to cultural norms.

Nasal mucus did not always have a stigma.
⁶
In medieval society it was acceptable to clear your airways in a variety of ways. A person could blow her nose in her hands and wipe it on her clothing, or blow it directly into her clothing. One could cover a nostril when blowing, thus magnifying the blast through the open nostril enough to send the mucus flying to the ground. Picking boogers, even eating them, was more common. As with spitting, medieval restrictions were limited to the dinner table: for example, do not get snot on the tablecloth.