You Send Me (3 page)

T
he coming nights were like dreams. The days were less entertaining, but still pleasant, spent reliving in her mind what had happened the night before and looking forward to the night to come. Johnny made love to her on Misty Isle over and over again. And it just kept getting better. The sex was…more than she could have dreamed it would be. And she and Johnny would spend hours wrapped in a blanket afterward, talking about
everything
. Millie could scarcely believe her family’s vacation to Moose Falls, Montana had turned into the best week of her life.

Fortunately, her father’s business dealings were going well and he and Mother had hit it off with the Allens so much that she suspected it was distracting him from keeping his usual close eye on her. For only Betsy seemed suspicious, and when she questioned Millie on what she was smiling about or why she seemed so sleepy at breakfast, she simply fudged her answers. She and Bet were close, but Bet was too young to hear the truth—and for the first time in her life, Millie felt like the twenty-two-year-old woman she was.

The days passed with visits to the Allen house, family hikes around the lake, games of canasta and backgammon,
and even a couple of family canoe excursions, during which Millie thought both she and Johnny had done admirable jobs of acting as if they barely knew each other. It had felt downright wicked—in a rather delicious way—to know what a big secret they shared.

However, when Johnny made love to Millie on the last night of the trip, sadness pervaded. She wanted to feel the joy—and certainly the pleasure remained—but Johnny could see something was wrong. He pulled out of her, kissing her before rolling to his side. “What’s wrong, Mil?”

She swallowed. She didn’t want to act like a baby, but she couldn’t help how she felt. She’d fallen in love with Johnny, after all—deeply. “We’re leaving tomorrow,” she replied.

His eyes darkened in the moonlight. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She shook her head, fighting back tears. “I…didn’t want to let you know how upset I am to be leaving you.”

Johnny sighed, then brought a hand up to caress her face. He peered into her eyes, and she felt the gravity in his expression, until finally he said, “Stay with me, honey. Marry me. I love you, Millie.”

Millie pulled in her breath. Johnny loved her, too?

She threw her arms around him in response. Oh, what a dream come true!

Well, except for the part about her father not liking him. And her father wanting her at home. And the fact that she actually
loved
her dad, and despite his controlling ways, it would kill her to openly defy him. It would ruin her relationship with her whole family, the only people in the world who truly loved her.

Except for Johnny now.

She shared her fears with Johnny, and cried against his chest, until finally he made it better by kissing away her tears and making slow, sweet love to her again in the crisp Montana night. They held each other tight as he moved in
side her, and she lifted against him, wanting to take him in as deeply as possible, wanting to feel him as profoundly as she could.

As they canoed back to the boathouse, she asked him to let her sleep on it, to think about how to approach her father. He wanted to ask her father for her hand, but Millie insisted he give her time to figure out the best way.

It was as Johnny was helping her up onto the dock, then pulling the canoe up behind them, that she heard her father’s voice cut through the darkness. “Millie, is that you?” But his sharp tone said he knew good and well it was.

“Daddy?” Darn it, she’d called him Daddy again, in her shock. “What are you doing here?”

“The better question is what are
you
doing here?”

Then his gaze drifted to her blouse, and she glanced down to see the buttons done up wrong. She looked back up in time to see his eyes droop with sheer disappointment.
Johnny
had never made her feel shame. But her father’s eyes—that was another story. “Oh,
Millie
,” he said, clearly stunned, hurt.

Her voice trembled even as she tried to stay strong. “I—I’m sorry. But I just…”

“Sir,” Johnny stepped forward to say, “Millie’s done nothing wrong. She’s a grown woman.”

Millie’s father’s head whipped around to Johnny, his voice slicing through the night.
“If you ever go near my daughter again, I’ll make you wish you’d never come home from the war—do you understand me?”

Millie gasped—as her father grabbed her wrist and began to drag her from the dock.

And Johnny stepped forward, eyes blazing. “You can’t treat her that way!”

But Millie looked over her shoulder, beseeching him. “It’s all right, Johnny, it’s all right. Please,” she said, shaking her head. She couldn’t handle any
more
drama tonight.
This was already a nightmare.

Johnny held his ground at her request, but she watched him clench his fists as she and her father strode rapidly away.

They stayed silent on what felt like a long walk back to the motel, and Millie suffered all the shame and embarrassment she’d been
taught
to feel over such things. But she knew now that it wasn’t real—she knew it was just what other people had imposed on her. She held her head high and tried not to hurt over what her father must think of her.

Which was when he stopped and turned to her. “Maybe I’ve been wrong all this time. Maybe you
should
go to Appalachia.”

“What?” she uttered, dumbfounded.

He started walking again, and she kept up. “In fact, I’ll call Herb Stansel as soon as we get home. I’ll pull some strings to get you back in the program. It’s not fall yet—there’s still time.”

Millie was speechless. She knew her father was simply manipulating her—she knew it was only a way to lure her from Johnny since he’d clearly seen in her eyes that this was more than a fling.

And yet how could she refuse her dream? Johnny had become a
new
dream this week, but her dreams of teaching in a place of true need, where she could make a real difference, went back years. It was how she could make a mark on the world, how she could make her life matter. Her father was suddenly telling her she could
have
that.

“So it’s settled,” he said, despite that she’d not uttered a word. “You’ll go teach in the mountains like you’ve always wanted.”

T
he following morning Millie was awash with emotions.

She wanted to find Johnny, talk to him, figure out what to do. Because she couldn’t figure it out on her own at the moment.

Her mother and sister knew nothing of what had happened last night, at least not yet—only that Millie had snuck out and Father had found her. As they packed their bags, everyone seemed afraid to talk.

Yet after the suitcases were loaded in the trunk, Millie said privately to her dad, “While the rest of you eat breakfast, I’m going to go find Johnny.”

His eyes widened unhappily. “Why would you do
that
?”

She sidestepped the truth a little. “To tell him I’m going to get to teach. And to say good-bye.”

But to her surprise, her father’s eyes hardened even more than expected as he slammed the trunk. “Afraid we’re not having breakfast—we’ll eat on the road. We’re late as it is. Now get in the car.”

“But—”

“No buts, Millicent. Get in the car.”

Millie was astonished. Her father had never been
this
unfeeling and harsh before. But she supposed, in his eyes, she’d sunk to new lows as well. Out of sheer habit and at a loss for what to do, she got in the car with her mother and sister, and a moment later the big station wagon backed out of the gravel parking lot. The Everly Brothers’ “Bye Bye Love” echoed from the radio.

And it was then, as she realized that this was it, that they were driving
away
,
forever
, that she realized she couldn’t let that happen. If ever there was a time to defy her father, it was
now
. “Stop the car.”

Betsy flinched, and her father glanced over his shoulder toward the backseat. “What?”

“Stop! I want out.”

He looked flabbergasted. “What on earth are you talking about?”

“I need to go find Johnny and I won’t let you—” She stopped talking, though, when something drew her attention, and she glanced out to see Johnny riding toward them up the intersecting road alongside the lake on a motorcycle! He saw her, too—she could tell.

But even then, her father didn’t stop, just kept driving, heading toward the edge of town!

The tension in the car rose when Johnny followed them, Millie still pleading with her father to stop, to no avail. Millie couldn’t believe this was happening, saying, “Please, Dad! Don’t take me away from him like this!
Please
.”

Until finally her mother, of all unexpected people, said, “
Harold, stop the car
.”

At first he just looked at her, clearly as stunned as Millie.

And then, quietly, he put on the brakes and brought the car to a halt in the middle of the mountain road.

“Thank you,” Millie whispered.

And then, without another second’s delay, she jumped out and ran back to Johnny’s motorcycle as it pulled up behind
the car. “I wanted to find you this morning,” she said hurriedly. “I wanted to tell you that my father agreed I could go to Appalachia and teach, after all! Which you know I want with all my heart! But I want you, too, and so I just don’t know…” She stopped, simply…out of words. A week ago her life had felt empty and pointless—now she had too many dreams come true to choose from.

Yet then Johnny spoke, his words calm and sure. “I’ll go with you.”

“What?” She couldn’t have been more taken aback.

“I’ve felt…
adrift
ever since I came home from the war. But I’ve been thinking about how selfless you are, and…you inspire me, Millie. To help people instead of hurt them. I have some construction experience, and I know I can do some good there, too. And then, at night, well…we can do good things for
each other
. Say you’ll marry me, Millie. And then we’ll make our lives what they should be—a great adventure.”

Millie felt the smile unfurl across her face, knowing suddenly that nothing would stand in the way of her happiness anymore. “Yes, Johnny, I’ll marry you. And that’ll be the best adventure of all.”

As they stood embracing, Millie looked over Johnny’s shoulder back at the little town of Moose Falls in the distance. She knew Johnny wanted to leave this place, and she knew leaving it was right for both of them right now—but she also knew she’d found her heart here and that she’d come back someday.

YOU SEND ME
. Copyright © 2008 by Toni Herzog. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

Microsoft Reader April 2008 ISBN 978-0-06-169356-4

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