You Only Love Twice (26 page)

Lucas chuckled. “Then her husband thrashed the living daylights out of both of us, and we were friends again.”

“And when Bella came along, we fought about her, too.”

Lucas propped one shoulder against the trunk of a tree. “What in Hades has brought this on?”

“Weddings always make me nostalgic,” said Adrian soulfully. “Especially this one. With you down, I feel my days are numbered. We always did everything together. I suppose it’s only a matter of time before someone bags me, too.”

Lucas looked at him steadily. “What about your latest love, the one who is married?”

Adrian gestured with one hand. “Oh, that,” he said airily. “That’s old history. Didn’t I tell you? I’m in love with Lady Caroline Howard. Off with the old, on with the new. That’s my motto. But we were speaking of Perry.”

“What about Perry?”

“Well, if he has to fall in love, I’m glad it’s with someone like Jessica who’ll let him down gently. But you never did answer my question.”

“What question?”

“The one about Jessica. What made her change her mind about you?” He peered into Lucas’s face then hooted with laughter.

“What?” said Lucas stiffly.

“You persuaded her with logic. Am I right?”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Oh, nothing,” said Adrian. “If you don’t know, I can’t explain it. But if I were you …”

“What?”

“Try kisses, you idiot,” and with another laugh, Adrian turned away and strolled toward the house.

CHAPTER
17

S
he was at her dressing table and had just finished braiding her hair when Lucas passed her door. She recognized his voice and the lighter tones of his valet. When she heard a door closing farther along the hall, she let out the breath she hadn’t known she was holding.

This wasn’t an ordinary wedding night, she reminded herself, and she and Lucas had said their good-nights some time ago, when the last of their guests had finally departed. Lucas’s mother was there, as was Ellie, so she and Lucas hadn’t exchanged more than a few words before he’d gone to check that the house was locked up for the night. Which was just as well. She hadn’t wanted to talk to him. If he had even looked at her the wrong way, she would have snapped at him. That’s what came of bottling everything up inside her and putting a good face on things.

She had unstoppered a bottle of perfume when she heard sounds coming from the dressing room, and her hand jerked. Quickly restoppering the bottle, she set it
down and listened. Doors opened and closed, there was the murmur of voices then there was silence.

I’ve never wanted a woman as much as I want you
.

She gave a teary sniff, stomped to her bed and threw off her negligee. The sheets were cool and smelled faintly of lemon. Propped against the pillows, arms folded, she contemplated her new domain.

She might as well douse the candles. Lucas wouldn’t be coming to her, not if he possessed a particle of intelligence. A man did not snub his wife on her wedding day, then expect her to fall into his arms at night. Besides, he’d promised that she would be the one to decide when their marriage would become a real one. He must have known from the look she’d given him when she’d said good night that she’d as soon see him roast in hell.

She would never have had such wicked thoughts when she was a nun.

Another sniff. She wasn’t being unreasonable, she told herself. Ellie had deliberately poured the glass of cordial over her bridal gown and Lucas had rewarded the girl by letting her absorb his attention for most of the evening. He should have known better than to neglect his own wife.

Who was she trying to fool? Ellie was only a small part of it. She’d been brooding on Perry’s words all night long.
A man loves only one woman but he can want many
.

Well, now she knew exactly where she stood. She was a convenience, that’s what she was.

That thought was revolving in her mind when the door to the dressing room opened and Lucas entered. He was wearing a dark maroon robe, belted at the waist, but what caught Jessica’s eye was the bottle of wine in one hand and the two glasses in the other. The second thing she noticed was the big smile on his face.

The smile was definitely a mistake. It made her feel like a cat that had been rubbed the wrong way.

As he crossed the room to the fireplace and deposited
the glasses on a small mahogany table, she rose and donned her silk negligee, then belted it tightly. “I understood this was my room,” she said.

He filled the glasses with wine. “It is your room.”

“I don’t remember inviting you into it.”

He raised a glass to his lips and took a sip of wine. “A husband has every right to enter his wife’s room, Jess,” he said gently. “Will you join me?” He held out a glass of wine.

Her hand went out to accept the glass before she remembered how cross she was. She snatched her hand back. “We have an agreement, Lucas, and I’m holding you to it.”

A wicked gleam lit up Lucas’s eyes. “Now what made you think that I wouldn’t abide by our agreement?” He held up his glass of wine. “Did you think I would ply you with wine to have my wicked way with you? Jess, Jess,” he admonished softly, and chuckled. “The wine isn’t really for you. It’s for the servants. In the morning, when they find two glasses here, they’ll think that ours is a normal marriage. Otherwise, they’re bound to talk, and that could be unpleasant.”

That took the wind out of her sails. “Oh.”

He studied her face. “I’m sorry about Ellie,” he said. “I’m sorry that she ruined your gown.”

And that deflated them even more. “You’re sorry?”

He nodded.

“She did it on purpose, Lucas.”

He shifted restlessly. “I know. But you have to understand how it is with her. She looks upon me … well … as a father figure. Jess, put yourself in her shoes. She’s just a child. She lost both her parents, then her brother and his wife. It was a terrible shock to her when they all died. I’ve tried to make it up to her, but she still grieves for them. She resents you, of course, because she’s afraid you will displace her, and she’ll lose me, too. She’ll get over it in time. Give her a chance, Jess.”

Put like this, she began to feel guilty for resenting Ellie, but it didn’t really change things.

She shook her head. “I feel sorry for her, Lucas, really I do. But I don’t think you’re helping by letting her get away with things.”

He took her hand and patted it. “It’s not such a tragedy, Jess. It’s only a gown. You have plenty of others.”

She snatched her hand away. “That’s not the point. And it was my
wedding
gown.” He was beginning to look worried, and that pleased her immensely. “My
wedding gown
, Lucas.”

“I’ll replace it.”

“For your information,” she said, “a wedding gown cannot be replaced.”

“What’s your point, Jess?”

In sheer frustration, she swung away from him, then swung back as something else occurred to her. “And what do you mean by telling Ellie that I would make you a pauper?”

“What?”

“Don’t deny it. You told her I had ordered so many gowns, I would make you a pauper.”

“It was a joke. And I was talking to my mother, you know, after she handed me all the bills for the garments she’d ordered. Ellie must have misunderstood.”

Had Ellie misunderstood? It was possible, she supposed. “I don’t know anything about adolescent girls,” she said, “but—”

“But?”

“I was thinking about our convent boys. They need love, yes, but they also need discipline.”

“Jess,” he chided, “this isn’t an orphanage. Ellie is a member of the family. I promised her brother that if anything happened to him, I would take care of her.”

She said, “Yes, you had some kind of pact with your friends, didn’t you? That you’d all take care of her … Perry told me.”

His eyes went blank. “We were comrades. It was a promise we made to each other, not just to Philip. Are you suggesting that I palm Ellie off on Adrian or Rupert?”

“No!” she exclaimed. “That never entered my mind. That would be cruel.”

“I’m glad you see it that way.” He hesitated. “If you would only try to make a friend of her, I’m sure things would sort themselves out.”

She tried to imagine herself making a friend of Ellie and she just couldn’t see it. Until she got over her infatuation for Lucas, Ellie would always regard her as her enemy.

Lucas didn’t really understand the problem. He thought Ellie saw him as a father figure. And he saw Ellie as a child. It was almost like history repeating itself, with Ellie taking her place, and herself taking Bella’s.

The thought startled her, then made her shudder. She didn’t want Ellie to dislike her as much as she had disliked Bella. There must be something she could do to win the girl over. But what? Sister Elvira, she thought. That’s what she would do. She would write to Sister Elvira and ask her advice.

She let out a sigh. “I’ll try,” she said, “but don’t get your hopes up.”

“That’s all I ask, Jess, that you’ll try.”

His smile could have melted a heart of stone, and where Lucas was concerned, her heart was already fragile. Suddenly, the trials of the last few hours became too much for her—Perry’s words of wisdom, Ellie’s spite, doubts about her Voice and Rodney Stone, and now her role as Lucas’s wife. She just wanted to be alone.

She said crisply, “And now, if you don’t mind, Lucas, I’d like to go to bed.”

He grinned, and his eyes glinted wickedly. “Is this another hint, Jess? Are you offering to share my bed?”

She gasped. “I only meant—” She saw the twinkle in
his eyes and she ground her teeth together. “My mind doesn’t work like yours, Lucas.”

She turned her back on him, marched to the bed and flung herself down. “When I think of a bed, I think of sleep.”

He set his glass on the table and wandered over to the bed. She strained away when he bent over her. Laughter lurked in his eyes. “Jess, it wouldn’t matter what I said. I think you’ve got you-know-what on the brain right now.”

She gave a disbelieving snort.

He laughed in sheer masculine enjoyment. “I’ll prove it to you,” he said. “What comes to mind when you think of a kitchen table?”

He was playing with her. Is this how married couples behaved? “A kitchen table?” she said. “That’s easy. I think of—”

The image that flashed into her mind sent a wave of heat surging through her. She was breathing rapidly, remembering how she’d felt when he’d practically taken her on the kitchen table at Hawkshill. His powerful body had covered hers, the press of his weight pinning her to the table. And she had wanted it. He’d made her want it, just as he was making her want it now.

She looked up at him, and she knew he was reading her correctly. His expression was wiped clean of all amusement. There was a stillness about him; his features had hardened, his eyes had darkened. The strong pulse at his throat started an answering beat in her own body.

When his hand brushed her thigh, she let out a startled shriek, dodged away and came up on her feet. She had to say something, anything to break the charged atmosphere between them. “Chopping vegetables,” she cried out.

He blinked slowly. “What?”

“When I think of a kitchen table, I think of chopping vegetables.”

His lips twitched. “I didn’t know nuns told lies. Shame on you, Jess.”

She backed up a step, not because he’d moved, but because she felt overwhelmed by him. She was acutely aware of the strength and maleness of him, and the heat that seemed to radiate from his body to hers. He wanted her to be aware. She could see it in his eyes.

She had to put a stop to this. “What is it you want, Lucas?”

He lowered his head to hers. “Just a good-night kiss, Jess,” he said, his voice husky. “Is that too much for a man to ask his wife on his wedding night?”

The light from the candle cast an intimate glow, warming her skin, opening her senses. She heard the soft rasp of his breathing, and her own breath caught. But it was his eyes that held her, eyes as dark as midnight, and just as dangerous. When his head dipped again, she moaned.

His firm, sensual lips curved in a faint smile. “It’s only a kiss, Jess,” he whispered.

His mouth touched hers, not threatening her, but in a tentative caress. Her stomach tightened and her knees went weak. She put her hands against his chest to push him away, and the rapid beat of his heart sent the blood pounding through her veins.

He took the kiss deeper, opening her mouth to the intimate possession of his tongue. She felt him tug the ribbon tying her braid back, then his hands combed through her hair, loosening it till it fell freely about her shoulders. She was aware, but only vaguely, that the logical part of her brain was telling her that she didn’t want this. Her instincts were surer, stronger, and they were telling her the opposite.

Without breaking the kiss, he curved his fingers around her hand, slipped it inside the edges of his robe and pressed it to his bare chest. Warm masculine flesh and muscle quivered beneath the pads of her fingers. He shifted slightly, and his weight bore her back against the wall. She felt the hard thrust of his hips pressing against
her and the last vestiges of her fears and reservations were submerged in a flood of pleasure.

Lucas pulled back and gazed down at her. Eyes as gray and misty as the North Sea gazed back at him. She wanted him as much as he wanted her.

He shook his head as he strove to gain control of himself. He had a reason for being here, but this wasn’t it. He couldn’t remember, not when his body was as hard as iron and urging him to take her. He had to slow down; he had to think. When he inhaled a long, calming breath, sanity gradually returned.

After his conversation with Adrian, he’d made up his mind that he wasn’t going to be a stranger in his wife’s bedroom. He didn’t really want Jessica to lay down all the rules between them. But how had it come to this? He had flattened her against the wall, and even now he couldn’t stop rubbing his bulging groin against her soft woman’s flesh.

It had gone too far; he didn’t know if he could let her go now. But if he didn’t, there would be hell to pay in the morning.