You Got Me (15 page)

I kept pushing, and pushing, until there was nothing left inside of me. I looked at my hand, and it's covered in blood. I realized then that I was vomiting up my own blood, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I laid down on the bathroom floor, and fell asleep. Or maybe I passed out, I'm not really sure.

AIDEN

When I got to the hospital in Alabama, I was relieved to find out that my mom was ok. She was suffering from extreme exhaustion, and dehydration. The doctor had IV's in her, and gave her something to help her sleep. She slept for 24 hours straight.

While I was in the hospital with her, I had a lot of time to think. I felt like shit for the way I treated Roxy. I couldn't believe that I pushed her away like that. I tried calling her a hundred times, but I couldn't get a hold of her. Each time it went straight to voicemail. I threw my phone on the table and sat in the chair by my mom's bed. I put my head in my hands. I knew that I had fucked up bad. She would probably never forgive me, and I honestly wouldn't blame her if she didn't.

My phone started vibrating. I picked it up, and was disappointed to see Gary's name pop up. I wasn't surprised though. I hadn't been there all day. He was probably just checking up on me to see why I was missing practice.

“
Hey.”

“
Where are you?” I heard his anxious voice.

“
I'm in Mobile.” I remembered he was still at school. “Hey, will you check on Roxy? I haven't talked to her since Monday, and I think I made her mad.”

“
Aiden, what did you say to Roxy before you left?”

“
Um, I just... I said some pretty mean things that I shouldn't have.”

“
Shit.” I heard him mumble. “Look, I was scared as hell. I found her passed out on the bathroom floor Tuesday morning. There was blood everywhere. I think... I think she was making herself throw up. When I woke her up, she was saying some crazy shit. She kept saying
I'm wanted.
When she finally woke up, she looked at me and apologized. She begged me not to tell, she cleaned up the bathroom, and then left.” He paused. “I haven't said anything, but I am worried about her. She's acting weird.”

I looked at my mom lying in the hospital bed. How could I choose between Roxy and my family? It wasn't fair that I had to make the decision.

Suddenly, I wanted to punch myself. I didn't
have
to make the decision. I was the one who pushed her away.

“
I fucked up.”

“
Yeah, you did man. You need to get back here and fix it before you lose her.” With that, the line went dead.

“
How did you fuck up?” I heard my mom's frail voice ask.

“
Mom.” I smiled, even though I felt like I was dying on the inside. “About time you woke up.”

“
You didn't answer my question,” she pressed.

I sighed. “I said some things to Roxy that I shouldn't have. I messed up real bad.”

“You love her, don't you?”

I nodded.

“What are you doing here, Aiden. Go fix it.”

“
Mom, I can't leave you here...” My voice broke off.

“
I'm fine, and I'll be here when you get back,” she promised. “Go get her back.”

I leaned over and gave her a kiss. “Thanks, Mom. I love you.”

“Love you too.” She waved me on. “Now, go!”

ROXY

I spent all day Tuesday on the roof. It was cold, but I couldn't feel it. I was completely numb, emotionally and physically.

I was mad. Not only at Aiden, but at myself. I had made so much progress, and just like that, I went right back to how I was as a kid. I hadn't made myself throw up in almost 2 years. Why now?

On the roof, I made a promise to myself. I wouldn't go back to being
that
girl. I didn't need Aiden. I was strong on my own, and if he didn't want me back, I would just have to live with that.

Wednesday, I went back to classes as normal. It was a struggle. The pain was almost overwhelming, but I refused to let it keep me down. Each breath felt like a knife stabbing my heart. But I kept pushing.

When I went back to my room Wednesday night after class, Rachel was getting dressed up in a super short dress. If she bent over, even an inch, her ass cheeks would hang out.

“
Where are you going?” I asked her. I had to talk to somebody.

She looked stunned for a minute, but then answered. “Party. Want to come?”

I realized at that moment what I needed, to get super wasted. I wanted to feel nothing.

“
Yes.”

Rachel immediately went to her closet, and handed me a short pink dress. It looked similar to hers, but skimpier, which I didn't think was possible. “Put that on.”

I didn't argue. I quickly got undressed and put it on. It was a little longer than her dress, but only because I'm shorter than her. It was tight on my boobs, and showed way too much cleavage, but at that moment, I didn't care.

My hair was already straightened, so I left it. I was about to put on my converse when she handed me a pair of 4 inch heels. I put them on without a second thought.

Say hello to the new, and improved Roxy.

“
You look hot,” she said. “Ready?”

I looked at myself in the mirror. I
did
look hot. “Yes, I think I am ready.”

The party was an off campus party. It was at a rich jock's house. He only lived about 5 minutes away. Rachel drove, and I was glad. I wanted to get drunk without worrying about driving.

We walked into the house, and was met with the strong smell of alcohol. A few guys were staring at me, and I waved at them.

“Wow. They have a bar,” she said. “Let's get something to drink.”

I followed Rachel to the bar. She got a shot of tequila. I started to as well, but then I remembered shots with Aiden. I no longer wanted tequila.

“Whiskey, please,” I told him. I grabbed the shot and threw it down. I hated the taste of whiskey, but I didn't care. I wanted something strong. “More.” I said, and then downed 3 more shots.

“
That's enough,” Rachel pulled me away from the bar. “You don't want to get too drunk too fast.”

Yes, I do
, I thought, but didn't say it out loud. It was probably good she pulled me away, because I was already feeling my alcohol.

I let Rachel pull me out to where everybody was dancing, and her and I danced together. Though we didn't dance together long. We were both quickly grabbed up by guys.

“What's your name?” the guy asked, as I grinded on him.

Shut up,
I thought, but instead said, “Roxy.”

“
Aiden's girl?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Not anymore.” It hurt to say the words, but they were true.

“I'm Thomas.”

I don't care.

He started to say something else, so I cut him off by kissing him. His kiss was nothing like Aiden's, but I didn't care. I just wanted to feel nothing.

AIDEN

When I got back Wednesday night, I went straight to Roxy's room. Nobody was inside, so I tried calling her. It actually rang, but then I heard something vibrating. I realized that she left her phone on her night stand. I hung up the phone.

What now?

I felt my phone vibrate in my hand. It was Gary. “I can't find Roxy.”

“I know where she is, and you might want to get here fast.” He rambled off the address, and I hung up my phone.

5 minutes later, I walked into Thomas Newman's house. His daddy was a big shot lawyer, and he was often out of town. He threw the best parties.

“
What took you so long?” Gary asked.

“
I got here as fast as I could.”

“
I'm just going to warn you, you're not going to like what you see, but she's extremely drunk and won't listen to reason.”

Just as I rounded the corner, I saw Roxy with Thomas Newman. She was sitting on his lap, basically kissing his face off. Fury ran through me and I ran over to her and pulled her off of his lap.

“Hey!” She said, stumbling backwards. I steadied her. She turned towards me, and all I could see was pain in her eyes. “What do
you
want?”

“
I want to know why
my girlfriend
is making out with another guy!”

She rolled her eyes. “You don't want me, remember? I can make out with whoever I want.”

I shot Thomas a look, and he bolted.

“
You can't scare away every guy!” she screamed at me, and once again, she almost fell down.

“
How much have you had to drink?”

She looked like she was thinking. “Like, maybe... 5 shots of whiskey, 1 shot of vodka, a beer, and... um, I forgot what else.”

I took off my jacket, and then proceeded to throw Roxy over my shoulder. I put my jacket over her legs so nobody would see her butt hanging out of the dress. She kicked and screamed the whole way out, but I didn't budge.

“
Put me down!” She said, punching my back. It didn't hurt.

I put her inside my car, buckled her seat belt, and shut the door. Then, I walked around to the drivers side, got in, and then took off. I watched Roxy as she tried to unsuccessfully take off her seat belt.

“This is kidnapping!” She yelled, furiously.

I wanted to scream, but I knew it wouldn't do any good. “This is for your own good, Roxy.”

“Why do you care? You don't want me anyway!” She began sobbing.

“
Roxy...” I reached for her hand and she quickly pulled away.

“
Don't touch me! Don't you dare touch me!”

We pulled up to the dorms. “I'm sorry, for what I said.”

“Why does nobody ever want me?” her voice was slurred. “Am I not good enough?”

Her words hurt. It felt like she was stabbing a knife into my heart. I made her feel like this. “Don't let anybody tell you that you're not good enough.”

Roxy looked up at me, her eyes were glazed over. She opened her mouth, like she was going to say something, and then vomited on my lap. I couldn't be mad though. I totally deserved it. She laid her head on the side of the glass, and I heard a soft snore escape her lips. I sighed, and then walked around the car. I lifted her out, and carried her to my dorm room. She wasn't in bed long before she ran towards the bathroom. I held back her hair while she vomited.

I felt my heart breaking.

SIXTEEN

ROXY

I was in Aiden's bathroom vomiting again. It was deja vu, only this time, Aiden was in there with me. He was holding back my hair for me. I was still pissed at him, but right now, I was too drunk to really care.

I heard myself whimper. I just wanted to stop puking. I felt Aiden's fingers grab my hand, and squeeze it tightly. He didn't let go, but I didn't have the strength to pull away

“
Why are you here?” I asked him. I was shaking, and I was not sure if it was because I had just puked my guts up, or if it was because Aiden was there, holding my hand. I was so mad at him, but at the same time, I was so in love with him I couldn't think straight.

“
Because I love you.” He sounded like he was saying the truth. But his words come back to me.
I don't want you to come, Roxy
.

I couldn't hold back my tears. “No you don't.” I was sure that my voice was slurred. I had so much alcohol, but I didn't want to say something that I would regret.

He gently pulled up my chin, so that I was looking at him. “I'm sorry,” I heard him say softly.

As much as I liked his hand on my face, I knocked it off. “What are you sorry for?”

“For being a complete dick, and breaking your heart.”

“
Too bad for you, I don't give a shit.” I tried to push myself up, but I fell back down. Aiden stood up, and gave me a hand. I ignored it and instead crawled out of his bathroom. I pull myself up using his bed, but I wasn't able to stand. My legs gave away, and I fell back onto his bed. I waited for the room to stop spinning before I spoke again. “What makes you think
you
broke my heart? That's awfully arrogant of you. For you to have broke my heart, you would have had to
have
it to begin with.”

“
Roxy...” he sighed my name, and I felt the bed sink down as he sat beside me.

Now, I was furious. “So you think you can use me, hurt me, apologize, and things will be all perfect? I hate to break it to you, but it's going to take a lot more than you flashing me a pretty smile, and looking at me with those pretty blue eyes for me to fall back into your arms.”