You Belong With Me (27 page)

Lyla texted Casey to say she needed to come and talk to her and it was urgent. The first thought in Casey's mind was that there was something wrong with Carter. She panicked and began wondering aimlessly around the house until Lyla got there. When she finally knocked, Casey jumped and so did her insides. She open the door to see a very fragile looking Lyla standing there with something clutching in her hands. Casey grabbed her by the arm and pulled her in. Lyla was shaking and crying.

"Lyla, sit down and tell me what's wrong. You're scaring me." Lyla handed her a piece of paper and Casey looked at her confused. With unsteady hands she opened the paper that was folded in half. She read it, looked at Lyla, then back to the paper.

"Lyla, your...your pregnant?" Lyla nodded yes and began to cry again.

"Is it Tommy's baby?"

"Yes," she answered soft and small. "I found out this morning. I'm only a few weeks but I was feeling so tired and sick to my stomach and I'm never sick, so my doctor ran some tests and well..."

Casey leaned over and hugged her friend tightly.

"What did Tommy say?" she asked.

"I didn't tell him yet. They are leaving on tour in a few days and I don't want him to think I trapped him or anything. I will tell him when he comes back. I don't want this to be a burden on him."

Casey looked at her sympathetically.

"Ly, you have to tell him sweetie. He has a right to know. He loves you and although this may be a surprise for him, both of you really, you can't hesitate. Don't go into this half assed. You need to just say it."

"I need to let this sink in for a few days. Case, I need your help. I'm alone and once the guys go on tour, it will just be me and this little tadpole." She rubbed her nonexistent belly.

"Lyla, I love you and I will be here for you and anything you need. I'm here for you, but please tell Tommy before he goes."

"OK. I'll tell him tomorrow." She smiled at Casey.

"That's my girl. Now let's discuss baby names. I am partial to Elizabeth, Victoria, Kate, and Diana if it's a girl." She smirked at her to try to get a laugh out of her.

"You are one sick, twisted bitch, Casey Colbert."

Tonight was the last night Carter would be at Domenic and Eva's. Jane was coming over for dinner and Tommy was coming as well. Carter had talked to him a few times over the past week and they took Jane to lunch. He didn't stay long. He looked tired and distant. Jane and Carter were both worried. Carter let Jane know that the tour manager insisted that all the members of the tour get complete physicals before setting out on the road. Carter settled his mother's worries when he told her that.

The night was heavily humid and thunderstorms were approaching. Haley and Carter loved watching the storms roll in. They got one every night but the novelty never wore off for them. Eva and Jane had cooked a fantastic dinner and Carter had already packed his things. Chole and Jake would pick Carter up at his brother's and Tommy up at the hotel in the morning. The tour bus was leaving from Tampa around ten. First stop when they set out was Boston five days later. They had to do some rehearsing once they arrived and then there were sound checks, press junkets, and dinners with the big wigs in the industry. Even though this dream was a reality for them, Carter wished he was leaving on better terms with Casey. Any terms but it was too far gone.

The family settled down to eat. Tommy was late as usual and they couldn't wait for him any longer. Carter left him a few messages.

"Carter, I hate to bring this up honey but I spoke to Casey today. I called her to see how she was."

He looked up from his plate to his mother. He sipped his beer and shook his head.

"How did I know you wouldn't be able to let this go mom?"

"Just so you know son the conversation wasn't geared towards you. I asked her how she was and if we could do lunch soon. Your name never came up, so like you boys say, don't get your panties in a bunch."

"Fair enough. How did she sound?" He asked anxiously but he managed calmness in his voice as well when he asked.

"Tired. She sounded tired." She gave him a tight lipped smile and reached over to pat his hand.

Carter just nodded and placed his other hand on top of hers. His phone rang and he saw it was Tommy. He answered it.

"Dude you missed dinner and mom's pissed. You better come by and see her before we leave."

"Can't Lond. I'm tied up but ca, ca, can I talk to her?"

His voice was shaky like he'd been out in the cold. The words that came out seemed to come in spurts and there was a lot of interference coming from his phone. He handed Jane the phone.

"Thomas Alexander Lingetti, you missed family farewell dinner young man."

"I know mom. I, I, I'm just not gonna be a, a, able to ma, make it."

"Tommy, are you ok? You sound funny sweetie."

"Ye, yea I'm ok. The air is on full blast in my ho, hotel room. Mom I need to te, te tell you something."

"What is it Tom?"

"I... I lo, love you and th, thanks for taking care of me. You will always bah, bah, be my mom. Ca, can I talk to Ca, Carter?"

Jane looked alarmed at the way Tommy was speaking.

"Tommy, you are my baby boy as much as Carter and Domenic are, and I love you. Why don't you tell me where you are and we can come and see you?" She looked visibly shaken and the phone was now shaking in her hands. Carter took it from her.

"Tommy, Tommy? Are you there. It's Lond man. Talk to me."

There was a moment of silence.

"Lo, Lond. You are my brother. I.. I love you ma, man. Ro, Roman numerals. Check the sho, shoes."

"Tommy, what are you talking about? What shoes? Tommy? Tommy? Answer me damn it!" Carter ran his hand over his hair and Jane started to cry. Domenic came to his mother's side and held her.

"Lond, he, he, help me." The line went dead. Carter looked up at Jane and his eyes were wide and he had a look of dread on his face.

"We need to get to his hotel now. Dom, please drive me." Domenic nodded and headed for the door.

"I'm coming, Carter," Jane yelled out.

"No, mom. Please stay with Eva and Haley. I'll call you. I'm sure he's just drunk and passed out. Everything is fine."

Carter knew in his heart of hearts that something was undoubtedly wrong. Domenic drove as fast as he could without getting them killed. They pulled up to hotel and Carter didn't even wait for his brother to stop the car. He flew out and into the lobby. He went to the elevator and when that was taking too long he dove for the door to the stairwell. He had no idea how his legs were carrying him. Maybe it was the adrenaline or the fear but he made it and ran towards Tommy's room. The door was locked and he banged on it several times.

"Tommy, I'm here. Open up man. Please open the fucking door." There was just silence. Carter leaned against the door with his forehead pressed to it.

"Tommy. Please. Please. I love you brother. Just open the door." He ran his hand across the room numbers on the door. The terror he felt not knowing what was on the other side of that door almost drove him to madness. He stepped back and with his heavy, boot clad foot, kicked the door open.

What Carter saw would forever change his life. Tommy's body was laid across the bed, a belt was around his upper arm and a syringe was in his other hand. His cell phone was resting next to him. He ran to him and tried to pick him up. He felt like his slim frame weighed two hundred pounds. Carter managed to lift him and they both fell off the bed. Carter scrambled to his side and cradled his head. He checked to see if he was breathing and he could hear, very, faint, shallow breaths. Domenic ran up to the door and looked in at his brothers. Carter rocked Tommy back and forth, stroking his purple mohawk.

"Dom, call 9-1-1." He rested his tearful face against Tommy's.

"Help is coming, my brother. It's going to be ok. I'm here. I'm here. Hang on. Please Tommy, hang on."

Casey sat at the nurses station in the E.R. It was a slow night so she decided to look at some brochures on vacation destinations. She needed to get away. She would go away as soon as she knew Lyla was past her first trimester and that she could get along without her for a few days. A call came into the E.R. from the paramedics. One of Casey's workers picked it up, yes'd them, and hung up. She turned to Casey.

"Looks like our dull night just got busy. We have a twenty nine year old male coming in for a possible O.D."

Casey put away her brochures and prepared for the patient to come in. The paramedics pulled into the bay and pulled the patient out of the back.

Casey met them at the door and looked down to see a purple haired, Tommy laying there on the gurney. The paramedics were performing CPR on him.

"Holy Christ. I know him. Tommy! Tommy!" She began to take a hold of his arms and shook him.

Her co-worker took her arms and pulled her aside as the paramedics wheeled him through the double doors of the exam rooms.

"Casey, get a grip and pull it together. Let's go help him."

She cried and tried to take some deep breaths in but then she saw Carter fly in. His eyes locked on hers but he just screamed " Where is he? Take me to him! Now!"

"Carter, calm down and tell me what happened."

He was interrupted when another nurse came out and yelled for Casey to get in there and help.

She looked at Carter whose eyes seemed hollow.

"I'll be back."

Carter and Domenic paced in the waiting room of the E.R. for what seemed like forever. Carter's nails were chewed down to the nubs. He put his hands on the back of his head and walked around looking up at the ceiling. The swinging doors opened and Casey's face appeared. Her eyes swollen and wet. Carter ran up to her and searched her face for some kind of news.

"He's, he's gone Car. He's gone." Dom collapsed in a waiting room chair and Carter just stood there, motionless, his eyes fixed and frozen. Casey sobbed and tried to put her hands up on Carter's arms.

When her hand connected with his skin he jumped backwards and stumbled.

"No! No! He was breathing. I saw him. I felt his breath on my face. I told him to hang on. We, we are brothers. Brother's don't leave brother's, right Dom."

Domenic got out of his seat and got a hold of Carter's arms and searched his hollowed eyes.

"Carter. He's gone. There is nothing we can do. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

Carter threw his arms out to the sides to try and shove Domenic's hands off of him. Casey tried again to talk to him.

"Carter, please." She pleaded with him.

"No!" He pointed at her and began walking towards the exit backwards. "Stay away from me. All of you stay away from me." Tears streaming down his face and the sweat poured from his head. His shirt was soaked from the rain and his perspiration.

Domenic and Casey stood there watching him. He looked like he was about to go insane. His chest rising and falling with each unskilled breath. His fists clenched. He turned and punched a window and shattered it. The blood poured from his knuckles and Casey and Domenic jumped. Carter stared at his hand, then back up into nothing. His eyes barren. He turned and ran into the warm, stormy night. Tommy was gone. His brother was gone.

CHAPTER 14

Roman Numerals

The days leading up to Tommy's funeral were nothing less than torturous, empty, and worthless. Carter did nothing. He wouldn't eat, didn't sleep, and wouldn't talk to anyone. Even Haley could not bring him around. There was no light in the perpetual darkness that Carter was experiencing.

Telling his mother about Tommy's death was when the ominous cloud overtook Carter's world. He ran all the way to Domenic and Eva's after the hospital, in the middle of the night, in the pouring rain. He collapsed in her arms and when he told her he was gone, they just held each other and sobbed. No matter blood or not, Tommy was Jane's son in every way, and had treated him like so for a very long time. Her grief was like any mother's would be but Carter's was as though a piece of his sanity, his soul, his heart, was gone. Carter had already lost Casey and he wasn't sure his mind or heart could take on much more. He stayed holed in his room at Domenic and Eva's. Eva tried to get him to eat but he was having none of it. He didn't want much of anything.

Casey had stayed at the hospital and assisted with preparing Tommy's body until the funeral home could come and take him. He looked peaceful, almost sleeping. She had seen a hundred people die over the last five years. She had watched family members say their goodbyes and watched their grief in stages. If only for a few moments, Casey remembered from school about the stages of grief:

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

She thought about Carter and how in the next few days, he would travel through these stages. She wondered about his pain. She thought about Jane's as well. Eventually she would have to tell Lyla that the father of her baby was dead.

Casey stood there next to the exam table in the E.R. When it was just her in the room, she stroked his cheek, nipped at the purple spikes on in hair, and held his hand. She touched the Roman Numerals he had tattooed on his knuckles. Etched in black ink, were the mystery marks he had permanently placed on his skin. The significance of them would forever be that, a mystery. Tommy took it to the grave. He took a lot with him and the thought of Tommy's short life being over, was overwhelming. The warm tears began to roll down her cheeks again. She spoke aloud to him as though he could hear her.

"So, here we are, my friend. Why are you laying here? Why did this happen? We did our best to keep you safe, Tommy. Didn't you trust us to help you?"

Her tears fell onto his hands and she rubbed across them with her thumb.

"I think Carter knew that there was something wrong. I told him he couldn't baby you for the rest of your life." She sniffed back a sob.