You Are Not Alone_Michael, Through a Brother’s Eyes (54 page)

Months earlier, he had the world fooled with a deliberate act of frailty, being pushed in a wheelchair … but it was all part of his clever plan!
Harrison Funk

Singing ‘Smile’ at the memorial service, the toughest performance of my life.
Harrison Funk

A HAPPY, FINAL MEMORY: Our last ‘Family Day’ with Michael as we all came together on 14 May to celebrate 60 years of marriage between Joseph and Mother. It was the last time we’d see our brother alive – but I’ll always remember his good spirits and laughter from that day.
Jackson family collection

The brothers wheeling in Michael’s coffin at the memorial service – there’s Randy and me (right) up front, then Jackie behind me, Marlon opposite him and Tito at the rear.

THIS IS A PROJECT THAT WAS
long ago in my head, but it has waited for the right moment and people to come along and make it a reality.

I reserve my first and foremost gratitude to ghostwriter Steve Dennis who has shared my determination to do justice to the memory of Michael. Over many months he helped me shape my beginning, middle and end. His name might be invisible but his craft is on every page.

I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Andrew Higgie and David Foster because it was these two gentleman who first believed in this project and steered me to agent Gordon Wise, from Curtis Brown, London. His faith and guidance kept me on track. He made this book happen, and introduced me to publishers who have been a joy to work with: Natalie Jerome at Harper Collins in the UK and Stacy Creamer at Simon & Schuster (Touchstone Books) in the US, both of whom embraced this project with a mutual passion.

In London, Natalie led a classy production, bringing a special touch to this project. In New York, Stacy brought her infectious energy and her direction has been invaluable. I can’t thank enough their teams of people for working so tirelessly on this book. Special thanks to Hazel Orme, Graham Holmes, Monica Green, Carole Tonkinson, Georgina Atsiaris, Ruth Deary, Andrew Cunning, Kevin Cahill, Joshua Karpf and Cherlynne Li. Also Ali Qamber, Harrison Funk, Hazel Gordy, Joy Robson, Viraf Sarkari, Andre Timmens, Lori Shapiro, and the brothers and sisters I bothered with ‘Do you remember whens?’: Marlon, Randy, Tito, Janet and Rebbie. My biggest gratitude in this regard, though, goes to Mother who greeted my endless questions about the past with patience and a memory that never falters.

Other people I would like to acknowledge are: Mr Berry Gordy, Clive Davis, Bobby Taylor, Suzanne de Passe, David Ritz, Deysha Britt, Janice Smith, Joel Katz, Allan J Freidman, Al Sharpton, Larry King, Brett Livingstone-Strong, Jillian Branco, Robert Sebree, Simmie Williams, Christophe Charlot, Maarten Mulder and my mother-in-law Laila Rashid whose fine cuisine provided sustenance during those endless nights of writing. There are also anonymous people who I cannot name for their assistance. You know who you are and my gratitude to each of you is immense.

The fondest memories I hold dear are those times as brothers. Sometimes, we don’t express it enough to one another but Jackie, Tito, Marlon, Randy – and Michael – I am proud to call each one of you my brother, and remain proud of what we all built and achieved. Love and thanks also to Rebbie, La Toya, and Janet. Of course my gratitude to Mother and Joseph is immeasurable for the life, love and dreams you made happen.

As for my own children – Jermaine junior, Autumn, Jeremy, Jamie, Jourdyn, Jaafar and Jermajesty – you each make me proud as a father in your own different ways. I love you all.

And then my wife, Halima, for giving me the love and the strength over the years we’ve been together. It is your belief in me – and force for good – that always keeps me going. I love you.

Finally, to Michael whose spirit is with me every day. I never got the chance to properly express my gratitude before you left us, but I hope this book does some justice to the love, life and memories we shared. The world misses you.

JERMAINE JACKSON, September 2011

Jacket photograph © Harrison Funk.