You Are Mine (47 page)

The rest of them were quiet, all staring at Zac.

But Zac only looked at her. There was almost accusation in his eyes, as if it was her fault she'd been used the way Fitzgerald had used her.

She seen him look that way before: when he'd told her about Theresa.

He was a man for whom being in control was everything, and yet nothing he could do had saved his sister. He must have hated that. No wonder he'd been so angry up in Fitzgerald's office. He'd been helpless yet again while the life of yet another woman hung in the balance.

Let her die. God will find his own.

She'd hadn't let herself think about what he'd said, because surely he couldn't have meant her. He'd been protecting her for too long for him to think that.

But maybe it hadn't been her. Maybe he'd meant Theresa. Maybe that's who he was angry with. The sister he couldn't save.

Eva's heart clenched tight. “Zac couldn't kill Fitzgerald,” she said quietly.

“I was going to—”

“No, you weren't,” she cut him off, meeting his cold, golden stare. Willing him to believe it. “You wouldn't have done it. You would have lowered your gun and we both would have suffered in the end. But Elijah let me go and I still don't know why. All I know is that it was enough for me to grab your gun and kill Fitzgerald. So that's it. That's what happened.”

The others were silent, watching the pair of them. And what they thought she had no idea, but she didn't want to do this anymore. Didn't want any more secrets. Didn't want “don't ask, don't tell.”

She was tired of being alone. Of being isolated. Of holding herself at a distance.

Zac didn't want her, but there were the others. The only family she'd ever had.

She slipped off the chair, standing in front of the fire, pulling off her beanie and letting it drop on the floor. Her hair fell down around her shoulders, her hands falling loose at her sides. Open, without her usual defenses.

“I killed Fitzgerald because he took me from the streets when I was sixteen. Held me for two years as his personal sexual slave. Because he raped Gabriel's mother. Because he hurt Honor's stepfather. Because he had Alex's father murdered.” She took a breath. “Because he hurt Zac. And it was my turn to protect him.”

The silence deepened.

She didn't look at anyone else. She looked across the room at the still figure of the man she loved. A man carved from stone. The only sign of life, the golden flames in his eyes.

A man who'd always been alone.

And it struck her then, a realization she knew down deep in her bones.

He'd been at her side for seven years. He'd pulled her out of hell and stopped her from returning to it.

It wasn't only her turn to protect him. It was her turn to show him he wasn't alone.

It was her turn to show him he could trust her.

“Zac, I was going to tell you to go,” Eva said, her voice only a little unsteady. “That I've paid your price. Taken your punishment. That I won't hold you here anymore. That you're free.” She braced herself, looked into those cold amber eyes. “But I'm not going to. Because the fact is you'll never be free of me. No matter where you go, no matter how far you run, I'll always be there. I love you and I'm not letting you go. Not ever.”

*   *   *

Everyone was looking at him, shock on their faces, and yet he was barely conscious of them. Barely conscious of the room around him. All his attention focused on the woman standing in front of the fire.

His whole world had taken on the shape of her. White hair and gray eyes. Slight, fragile curves. Pale skin. Delicate as an alabaster vase, yet with a backbone of pure titanium.

He felt brittle in comparison. A hollowed-out façade of a man. All he was, eaten away by the fire inside him, the anger he couldn't get rid of. The memory of a sister he couldn't let go.

He'd been strong coming in here. Resolute in his intentions. He'd listen to what she had to say, then he'd let them know, one by one, that he was leaving New York. And never coming back.

He'd expected her to set him free. He'd never expected her to fight.

She was all he'd thought about for so many years, been close to her for so long, and yet it was only now, right this single, incandescent instant, that he truly saw.

Standing in front of the fire, the flames behind her, she looked … strong. Resolute. And not the brittle, breakable kind of strength that came from denial, but the true lasting kind that came from acceptance.

She was a warrior. She always had been.

And now she's fighting for you.

Something inside him expanded like the sudden gasp of a long-denied breath.

The silence was complete and yet still he didn't move. Didn't look away from her.

You should trust me,
she'd told him.
I'm not Theresa.

Only now did he understand what she'd meant. He had to trust her not to leave him. Trust her not to destroy him.

I'm not letting you go. Not ever.

Theresa had never fought for him. She'd turned her head to the wall and died.

“No,” he said in a voice that didn't sound like his. “No. No. No.”

Shock fell across the room.

Eva's mouth opened, pain flashing in her eyes.

“No,” Zac repeated, in case they hadn't heard it the first four times. “Fucking no.”

He shoved himself away from the couch, his footing unsteady. He was shaking.

Eva stood there, staring at him. Her chin coming up. Resolute.

“
No
!” he roared.

And then he was rounding the couch, heedless of everyone else in the room. Kicking aside the coffee table with all the food on it, everything smashing on the ground.

He didn't care. There was only one thing in the world that mattered. Only one thing that would ever matter.

“Zac?” someone demanded. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Hey—” someone else said.

“Everyone get out!” Eva shouted, her face white.

Zac didn't bother to see if they obeyed because by then he'd reached her and she was in his arms, where she'd always belonged. Where she'd always been meant to be.

Her hands pushed against his chest. “Zac, wait—”

But he didn't wait. He cupped her face in his hands, cutting her words with his mouth. Kissing her as if all the air in the world was contained in her. As if she were his one hope of survival.

She was still for a moment, but he didn't stop. Gently coaxing her mouth to open, stroking the fragile bones of her jaw with his thumbs, letting her taste his desperation. His need.

Eva shivered and then she melted, her lips parting under his, the delicate touch of her tongue. Nothing then but sweetness and heat. Everything he'd ever wanted right here in his hands.

He kissed her because he couldn't speak. Because he didn't have the words to tell her all he felt. So he just kept on kissing her until language returned to him. Until he could breathe again.

It could have been years but probably was only minutes when he at last lifted his head. Because no matter how much he wanted to keep on kissing her, he knew he'd have to speak eventually.

Her face was flushed, her eyes dark. She leaned against him, her hands pressed flat to his chest as if she wanted to dig her nails into him and pull him even closer. A fierce light burned in her eyes. “Is this a case of no meaning yes?” Her voice was thick, a thread of her usual snark in the words.

“No, you shouldn't want to stay.” His own voice didn't sound much better. “No, I don't want you to set me free. No, you can't leave me.”

She was breathing fast now. Challenge flickered in the tarnished silver of her eyes. “I thought you'd come to terms with being alone. At least that's what you said.”

“Turns out I was wrong,” he said hoarsely. “Turns out I was wrong about a lot of things. I was wrong to push you away. I was wrong not to trust you. “He stared down into her beautiful face. “I was wrong to pretend I didn't love you.”

Eva blinked. “I don't understand. You said—”

“I know what I said. I'm a liar. A fucking coward. I've been so angry with Theresa for so many years. Angry at her for not fighting for me. For leaving me. She was all I had, the only family left. And she wouldn't stay. She destroyed herself. She left me alone and I've never, ever forgiven her for that.” He tightened his arms around Eva, staring fiercely at her. “I didn't want anyone to make me hurt like that again. I didn't want anyone to have that power over me. But I'm willing to let you have it. I trust you, angel, I do.”

She stared at him, searching his face for what, he didn't know. It made him suddenly conscious of the silence behind him. But if the others were there, he didn't care. The only person of any significance was right here in front of him.

“You're an idiot, you know,” Eva said huskily. “Yes, love can make you hurt. But it can make you strong too. You think I would have been able to stand up to Fitzgerald without you? Why do you think I wasn't afraid? Because I loved you. Because you made me strong, Zac.”

She was warm in his arms, her body melting into his. And yet the core of her was pure titanium. How had he ever thought her fragile? “You'll have to teach me how it works, angel. I don't have any practice with love.”

Eva's hand slid up his chest, curving up to his shoulder then further up to his jaw, stroking lightly. “Of course you do. You loved your sister. You just need to look past your anger and remember that.”

How did she know that? How could she see so clearly? “I don't know if I can. All my memories of her are … angry ones.”

She caressed his jawline, sending a tendril of fire through him. “It might take time, but you'll remember. It'll still be there. Some things are like that. I mean, it took me a long time to see who you were and figure out what you meant to me. Seven years to be exact.”

Zac turned his head, brushing his mouth against her stroking finger. “I knew from the minute I saw you waiting for me under that streetlight.”

“Knew what?”

“That you were mine. It just took me a long time to admit it to myself.” There was a burning in his heart but it wasn't anger this time. It was almost painful and yet there was a sweetness to it. The very best kind of pain. “I'm sorry, I said those things in the street to you. I'm sorry I hurt you. I just … I've been angry so long and this is so new. I'm not sure how to do it.”

And finally, finally, her mouth curved. A smile that had been a long time in coming. “You're doing pretty well so far. How about you just keep going? I mean, practice makes perfect, right?”

The pain and pleasure deepened in his heart. He turned his head to check the room—it was empty. The others must have gone and left them to it. Good fucking choice.

He turned back to her and before she could say anything, he gathered her up in his arms and carried her over the mess on the floor to the couch, laying her down on it.

*   *   *

“If you go in there, I will personally hurt you.” Katya put a hand on Alex's chest. “And you know I can, Alexei.”

Alex glared at her then at the closed door of their clubrooms at her back. “You've met Zac. He's a mean fucker. If he hurts her, I'll—

“I don't think he wants to hurt her,” Katya said calmly. “Do you?”

Gabriel, dragged out by Honor and who was still holding onto his arm, was scowling at the door too. “Katya, I respect you, you know that. But I don't think you know what the fuck you're talking about. Eva is vulnerable and—”

“Actually,” Katya cut across him coolly, “Eva is stronger than Zac. Stronger than either of you two as well. I know a soldier when I see one, Gabriel. Eva King is a soldier and she's more than a match for Zac.”

Honor said nothing, but Katya saw the other woman smile then roll her eyes in Gabriel's direction.

Alex was shaking his head. “No. That bastard needs—”

Calmly Katya reached into her jacket and pulled out her Springfield. “Take a step toward that door and I'll shoot you myself.”

Alex's eyes widened. “You wouldn't.”

“Try me.”

“Fuck's sake,” Gabriel said with some disgust. “We're just looking out for Eva, okay?”

Honor slid an arm around Gabriel's waist. “Katya's right, Gabe. Eva can look out for herself. In fact…” She smiled. “I'll lay money on the fact that Zac is on his knees right at this very moment.”

“A thousand bucks and you have a bet,” Alex said instantly, then raised an eyebrow at Katya. “Though maybe Zac'll have her on
her
knees. I've heard some things about him that'll—”

“Right. That does it,” Gabriel interrupted. “Half an hour, then we're going in.”

From behind the door, came the sound of a gasp. It didn't sound like pain.

Satisfied, Katya stared at the two men and raised a brow. “Are you sure about that?”

Gabriel glanced at Alex. “Maybe we could leave it a bit longer.”

“An hour,” Alex agreed. “At least.” He paused, then frowned. “They'd better not be getting any wine on my fucking rug.”

*   *   *

She reached up and pulled him down onto the couch with her, opening her mouth beneath his, kissing him hot and demanding. This time there were no punishments or consequences or orders. Only the frantic need to get rid of the barriers between them, warm skin against warm skin, mouth to mouth, hands reaching, touching, caressing.

There was a minor frustration when both of them realized neither one of them had any protection, but then Zac remembered where they were and that Alex, always the gracious host, usually had a stash of condoms somewhere. Finding some in the drawer in one of the side tables, he brought it back to the couch and let her roll it on him.