Authors: Lauren Myracle
Fri, Sept 27
, 8:00
PM E
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SnowAngel: | hey, lady. I'm getting ready for Zeta-Iota date party. it's called a “date party” cuz, unlike a mixer, you HAVE to show up with a date. |
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SnowAngel: | anyway, how do you like my hair? *preens* *fluffs* |
mad maddie: | Angela? |
SnowAngel: | yeah, babe? |
mad maddie: | I can't see yr hair. |
SnowAngel: | then answer my Skype, silly! why do you keep declining my call? |
mad maddie: | cuz I'm on quad and Zara is two feet away. I'd be self-conscious. |
SnowAngel: | you? self-conscious??? you've never been self-conscious in your life. |
SnowAngel: | *I* think you're too busy being hip and swoo-swoo to answer my calls. *sniffs* |
mad maddie: | yeah, and that's why I'm texting you, which takes the exact same amount of time. FAULTY LOGIC, SISTER. |
mad maddie: | I do feel self-conscious around Zara. seriously. but I'm going out with her tonight anyway, so there. |
mad maddie: | what the hell is swoo-swoo? |
SnowAngel: | I am! I iz a sexy swoo-swoo bitch, that's what I iz! I found a Pinterest board on how to create casual beach waves using a straight iron, and I nailed it. I am a mermaid goddess! |
mad maddie: | when you say “I am a mermaid” . . . |
mad maddie: | this isn't another one of those dress-up parties, is it? |
SnowAngel: | now, Maddie. does a date party sound to you like a “come as a mermaid” party? |
mad maddie: | yes? no? I know not the ways of you crazy sorority girls! |
SnowAngel: | you make me giggle, and no, I'm not dressing up as a mermaid, tho that's a good one to keep in mind for the car wash we're hosting tomorrow. |
SnowAngel: | *taps chin* hrrm, where to find a good clamshell bra . . . ? |
SnowAngel: | tonight I'm wearing skinny jeans and my vintage vest with tassels, which sounds horrid in concept but is, in reality, extremely awesome and makes my boobs look fantastico. |
mad maddie: | ah |
SnowAngel: | wanna know who my date is? |
mad maddie: | yes |
mad maddie: | of course |
mad maddie: | I am dying to know |
SnowAngel: | yr saying that in a robot voice, aren't u? |
mad maddie: | why no I am not whatever in the world wld make u think that hashtag liarpants hashtag starwarsdroid hashtag geeksrule |
SnowAngel: | *glares* |
SnowAngel: | his name's Todd, he's hot, and he's an Iota, duh, since the Iotas are hosting the party. |
mad maddie: | oh, yeah, duh. absolutely. |
SnowAngel: | a Zeta named Beth set me up with him. she was like, “He talks about football too much, but he's a total catch. He's good in bed and he LOVES oralâand I'm not talking about you going down on him. I'm talking him going down on you.” |
mad maddie: | wow |
mad maddie: | that's, ah, a lot to take in. orâha!âI guess it's NOT a lot to take in, if what that Beth girl says is true. |
SnowAngel: | heh? |
SnowAngel: | oh. good lord, Maddie. u r just . . . |
SnowAngel: | erggh! no taking in! not boy/girl OR girl/boy. |
SnowAngel: | have u . . . er . . . taken in Ian? |
mad maddie: | why did the Beth girl pass Todd off on you if he's such a catch? |
SnowAngel: | is that a yes? taking that as a yes unless you say otherwise . . . |
mad maddie: | Angela, of course I've given Ian blow jobs. it's no |
SnowAngel: | a tip to remember. gotcha. |
mad maddie: | well, der! the tip's the most sensitive part! licky like a lolly and give yr jaw a break! |
SnowAngel: | Oh. My. God. so gross. |
SnowAngel: | I'm off to pre-party. a bunch of us are meeting in the kitchen for tequila shots so that when we get to the party we'll already have a buzz on. |
mad maddie: | once upon a time, *I* was the one who was considered the wild child. seems hard to believe now, doesn't it? |
SnowAngel: | |
SnowAngel: | have fun with the Esbees! |
Fri, Sept 27
, 11:59
PM E
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SnowAngel: | ohhhh, Zooooeeeeee! |
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SnowAngel: | I am drunkie. |
zoegirl: | I would, but *I* am tucked snugly in my bed, reading “My Family and Other Animals.” it's awesome. |
SnowAngel: | is it about aniamals? |
SnowAngel: | *animals |
SnowAngel: | I like animals! |
SnowAngel: | |
SnowAngel: | I'm a chicken! mooooooooo! |
zoegirl: | it's about a kid who lives in Greece and all of his adventures. makes me want to go. |
SnowAngel: | |
zoegirl: | but earlier I made the bold move of going out to dinner WITH STRANGERS. well, not strangers, but a guy and a girl from my creative writing class. Holly and Gannon. |
SnowAngel: | I did something with strangers too!!!! |
SnowAngel: | well, ONE stranger. |
SnowAngel: | my asshole date ditched me, so I got him back by kissing a verrrrrry cute boy named . . . |
zoegirl: | . . . yes? |
SnowAngel: | my goodness. it seems I do not know Cute Boy's name. |
SnowAngel: | I knew it once. I am almost positive I did. |
zoegirl: | why did your date ditch you? |
SnowAngel: | Todd? who knows, who cares. buh-bye, Todd! hello, cute new boy! |
zoegirl: | it's after midnight, Angela. I'm going back to bed. |
SnowAngel: | because it's after midnight? what kind of reason is that? |
SnowAngel: | I'm still at party. I'm going to celebrate this after-midnight business by finding Cute Boy again. more kissing! me like kissing!!! |