Yolo (9 page)

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Authors: Lauren Myracle

BOOK: Yolo
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Fri, Sept 27
, 8:00
PM E
.
D
.
T
.

SnowAngel:

hey, lady. I'm getting ready for Zeta-Iota date party. it's called a “date party” cuz, unlike a mixer, you HAVE to show up with a date.

SnowAngel:

anyway, how do you like my hair? *preens* *fluffs*

mad maddie:

Angela?

SnowAngel:

yeah, babe?

mad maddie:

I can't see yr hair.

SnowAngel:

then answer my Skype, silly! why do you keep declining my call?

mad maddie:

cuz I'm on quad and Zara is two feet away. I'd be self-conscious.

SnowAngel:

you? self-conscious??? you've never been self-conscious in your life.

SnowAngel:

*I* think you're too busy being hip and swoo-swoo to answer my calls. *sniffs*

mad maddie:

yeah, and that's why I'm texting you, which takes the exact same amount of time. FAULTY LOGIC, SISTER.

mad maddie:

I do feel self-conscious around Zara. seriously. but I'm going out with her tonight anyway, so there.

mad maddie:

what the hell is swoo-swoo?

SnowAngel:

I am! I iz a sexy swoo-swoo bitch, that's what I iz! I found a Pinterest board on how to create casual beach waves using a straight iron, and I nailed it. I am a mermaid goddess!

mad maddie:

when you say “I am a mermaid” . . .

mad maddie:

this isn't another one of those dress-up parties, is it?

SnowAngel:

now, Maddie. does a date party sound to you like a “come as a mermaid” party?

mad maddie:

yes? no? I know not the ways of you crazy sorority girls!

SnowAngel:

you make me giggle, and no, I'm not dressing up as a mermaid, tho that's a good one to keep in mind for the car wash we're hosting tomorrow.

SnowAngel:

*taps chin* hrrm, where to find a good clamshell bra . . . ?

SnowAngel:

tonight I'm wearing skinny jeans and my vintage vest with tassels, which sounds horrid in concept but is, in reality, extremely awesome and makes my boobs look fantastico.

mad maddie:

ah

SnowAngel:

wanna know who my date is?

mad maddie:

yes

mad maddie:

of course

mad maddie:

I am dying to know

SnowAngel:

yr saying that in a robot voice, aren't u?

mad maddie:

why no I am not whatever in the world wld make u think that hashtag liarpants hashtag starwarsdroid hashtag geeksrule

SnowAngel:

*glares*

SnowAngel:

his name's Todd, he's hot, and he's an Iota, duh, since the Iotas are hosting the party.

mad maddie:

oh, yeah, duh. absolutely.

SnowAngel:

a Zeta named Beth set me up with him. she was like, “He talks about football too much, but he's a total catch. He's good in bed and he LOVES oral—and I'm not talking about you going down on him. I'm talking him going down on you.”

mad maddie:

wow

mad maddie:

that's, ah, a lot to take in. or—ha!—I guess it's NOT a lot to take in, if what that Beth girl says is true.

SnowAngel:

heh?

SnowAngel:

oh. good lord, Maddie. u r just . . .

SnowAngel:

erggh! no taking in! not boy/girl OR girl/boy.

SnowAngel:

have u . . . er . . . taken in Ian?

mad maddie:

why did the Beth girl pass Todd off on you if he's such a catch?

SnowAngel:

is that a yes? taking that as a yes unless you say otherwise . . .

mad maddie:

Angela, of course I've given Ian blow jobs. it's no
big deal, except that eventually yr jaw starts to hurt.

SnowAngel:

a tip to remember. gotcha.

mad maddie:

well, der! the tip's the most sensitive part! licky like a lolly and give yr jaw a break!

SnowAngel:

Oh. My. God. so gross.

SnowAngel:

I'm off to pre-party. a bunch of us are meeting in the kitchen for tequila shots so that when we get to the party we'll already have a buzz on.

mad maddie:

once upon a time, *I* was the one who was considered the wild child. seems hard to believe now, doesn't it?

SnowAngel:

SnowAngel:

have fun with the Esbees!

Fri, Sept 27
, 11:59
PM E
.
D
.
T
.

SnowAngel:

ohhhh, Zooooeeeeee!

SnowAngel:

I am drunkie.
come play with meeeeeee!

zoegirl:

I would, but *I* am tucked snugly in my bed, reading “My Family and Other Animals.” it's awesome.

SnowAngel:

is it about aniamals?

SnowAngel:

*animals

SnowAngel:

I like animals!

SnowAngel:

SnowAngel:

I'm a chicken! mooooooooo!

zoegirl:

it's about a kid who lives in Greece and all of his adventures. makes me want to go.

SnowAngel:

zoegirl:

but earlier I made the bold move of going out to dinner WITH STRANGERS. well, not strangers, but a guy and a girl from my creative writing class. Holly and Gannon.

SnowAngel:

I did something with strangers too!!!!

SnowAngel:

well, ONE stranger.

SnowAngel:

my asshole date ditched me, so I got him back by kissing a verrrrrry cute boy named . . .

zoegirl:

. . . yes?

SnowAngel:

my goodness. it seems I do not know Cute Boy's name.

SnowAngel:

I knew it once. I am almost positive I did.

zoegirl:

why did your date ditch you?

SnowAngel:

Todd? who knows, who cares. buh-bye, Todd! hello, cute new boy!

zoegirl:

it's after midnight, Angela. I'm going back to bed.

SnowAngel:

because it's after midnight? what kind of reason is that?

SnowAngel:

I'm still at party. I'm going to celebrate this after-midnight business by finding Cute Boy again. more kissing! me like kissing!!!

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