Yolo (24 page)

SnowAngel:

I did. *winces*

SnowAngel:

is that Canyon in the picture?

zoegirl:

the girl he's got his arm around? that would be Canyon, yes.

zoegirl:

it made my heart literally stop when I first saw it, but then I shut my laptop, put on my running shoes, and went for a run. three miles today, baby!

SnowAngel:

yr awesome.

SnowAngel:

but you know, that picture doesn't necessarily mean anything. well, it means Doug and Canyon are friends, but it doesn't mean they're lovers.

zoegirl:

no, they're together, because Doug told me. he sent me a message saying he wanted me to hear it from him first, but he sent the message AFTER posting the pic. I know because of the time stamp.

zoegirl:

but who cares, right?

SnowAngel:

not you! hell no!

zoegirl:

except I do, obviously

SnowAngel:

I know. I wld too. anyone wld.

SnowAngel:

ooo—you should send him back a message that says, “oh, no big, I'm a kissing fool these days anyway.”

zoegirl:

yeahhhhh. no.

zoegirl:

but at dinner I told Gannon and Holly about Doug, and that led to them talking about their high school girlfriends/boyfriends, and that led to a whole conversation about sex and relationships and why we're attracted to certain people and not others.

zoegirl:

for example, Gannon ONLY likes big girls, or so he claims.

SnowAngel:

big as in chubby? big as in fat?

zoegirl:

big as in big. I didn't press him for specifics.

SnowAngel:

but he kissed you and you are NOT big.

zoegirl:

yes, but our kissing wasn't real, as I have told you many times. or, real but not romantic in any way.

SnowAngel:

I think it's good that Gannon likes big girls. we're brought up to believe that a girl CAN'T BE FAT OR SHE WILL DIE, but that's not true, so good for Gannon.

zoegirl:

I agree

SnowAngel:

what about Holly? what's her type?

zoegirl:

guys over girls, but I've already told you that. slender, muscular, and preferably taller than she is. a soccer player's build, basically.

zoegirl:

oh, and smart. not being smart is a deal breaker.

zoegirl:

Holly's roommate, on the other hand, only dates black guys.

SnowAngel:

why only black guys? is she black? (and am I being racist by asking? I honestly don't know. I think things ARE different at UGA than at Kenyon!)

zoegirl:

she's white. her name's Jessica, and according to Holly, she's sworn off dating any white guys because the chemistry is never there.

SnowAngel:

but it's there with black guys?

zoegirl:

apparently

SnowAngel:

huh

SnowAngel:

what did you tell them your type was?

zoegirl:

I told them I didn't know, which is true.

zoegirl:

I thought my type was Doug, but Doug isn't a type. he's just . . . Doug.

SnowAngel:

well, maybe you don't have to have a “type.” there are lots of
in the sea and lots of types of
too.

zoegirl:

I agree. I asked Holly if she would consider dating
a big hairy football player, and she was like, “no thank you.” but then she thought about it and said, “Unless there was a spark between us. In that case, I might.”

SnowAngel:

hmm. it all comes down to the mysterious spark, doesn't it?

SnowAngel:

I have two HUGELY shocking things to tell y'all. which do you want to hear first?

mad maddie:

is that a rhetorical question?

SnowAngel:

is what a rhetorical question?

SnowAngel:

no, nvm. I don't even know what a rhetorical question is. I never have, and when ppl use that phrase, I just nod and look wise.

mad maddie:

in that case, I choose Thing One. Zo?

zoegirl:

zoegirl:

but I'm supposed to be doing a makeup lab, so if I suddenly disappear, that's why.

SnowAngel:

Thing One it is. I made the foolish decision to step on a scale in the Zeta house . . .

mad maddie:

scales r for wimps

SnowAngel:

AND I HAVE GAINED THE FRESHMAN FIFTEEN. AAAAGHHHHH.

SnowAngel:

I shld have known, cuz all my jeans have gotten tight, but I thought, ya know . . . well, I don't know what I thought.

mad maddie:

does that mean u have a muffin top? muffin tops are smexy.

SnowAngel:

heyyyyy! you told me to never use that word!

mad maddie:

muffin? oh, sorry.

SnowAngel:

*gives Maddie evil eye*

zoegirl:

I am sure you look fabulous and lush and curvy,
Angela. and now you're my friend Gannon's type! which is awesome, because Gannon rocks!

SnowAngel:

which is NOT awesome, cuz Gannon is in Ohio and I am in Athens, and are you saying I'm now a “big girl”??!

zoegirl:

I've actually lost weight since starting college, probably because of running.

zoegirl:

I'm down to 109 lbs. I haven't weighed 109 lbs since sophomore year of high school.

SnowAngel:

*glowers*

SnowAngel:

thx. so helpful.

zoegirl:

it means I can't donate blood anymore, because you have to be 110 lbs or more to donate blood.

mad maddie:

well that must cramp your style.

mad maddie:

does somebody want your blood? is this actually a problem?

zoegirl:

IF the opportunity came up, that's all I'm saying.

mad maddie:

109 lbs is measly, and Angela, I've ballooned up to 200 pounds, so don't even worry.

SnowAngel:

you do not weigh 200 lbs, you big liar.

mad maddie:

big is right. *pats tummy* I'm proud of my tub!

SnowAngel:

I am NOT proud of my tub, and I want it to go away, but the thought of making it go away is horribly depressing. I DO NOT DO WELL WITH SELF-DEPRIVATION!

mad maddie:

which is why *I* say . . . if ya want it, eat it. or wear it as a hat.

zoegirl:

Maddie, you are so random.

zoegirl:

Angela. if you gained any weight, it's because you've been on crutches, you goof. now that you're not, you'll go back to being more active and everything will even out. don't worry.

SnowAngel:

will it, tho? will it?

SnowAngel:

cuz I've also been drinking a ton more than I ever
have. a cup of beer is 150 calories! lots of beer = lots of calories!!!

mad maddie:

so stop drinking beer

SnowAngel:

but then I will be BORING ANGELA, and the mean girl in my sorority will yell at me for being lame!

mad maddie:

and I quote from the Bible: thou shalt not let a sorority girl named Candy dictate anything about your personal lifestyle, or thou shalt turn into a pillar of salt.

SnowAngel:

TANDY. not candy.

mad maddie:

mmm . . . candy . . .

SnowAngel:

all right, we are moving on to Thing Two, cuz y'all are SO not helping.

mad maddie:

whatever. we love u the way you are. right, Zo?

zoegirl:

yes . . . shhh . . . I have to text quietly because TA is here. I am supposed to be doing important science things!

mad maddie:

*exaggerated whisper*

mad maddie:

OK, WE WON'T TELL IF U DON'T

SnowAngel:

Thing Two is that a senior Zeta just sent out an email blast saying that she's fricking getting married.

SnowAngel:

MARRIED! SHE IS 21!

mad maddie:

whoa. is that what sorority girls do, get married their senior year? isn't it called the “M.R.S.” degree or something?

SnowAngel:

I am NOT getting married my senior year, I promise you that.

mad maddie:

if you do, can I be a bridesmaid? will you be embarrassed to have a 200 lb bridesmaid in your entourage?

SnowAngel:

SnowAngel:

my inner critic is very loud today, so I wld appreciate a little kindness.

mad maddie:

hey, I'm making fun of ME, not you. I've seen the
pics you've posted, and if you really have put on 15 lbs, which I doubt, it sure doesn't show. right, Zo?

mad maddie:

Zo???

SnowAngel:

see? she doesn't agree!

mad maddie:

no, she's just off doing Important Science Things.

mad maddie:

believe what you want, Angela, but you are one sexy tamale.