Yesterday's Heroes (Consortium of Chaos Book 1) (41 page)

Wyatt smiled in apparent surprise
at this news.  OCD thought that Wyatt was the best actor of the bunch.  “Excellent. 
Then it comes to the vote.  All in favor?”  The board’s vote was unanimous…well,
OCD had no clue what the hell the ball of light voted, but it looked like an
Aye to him.  “Class B stock?  What is YOUR vote?”

The dozen heroes still in
attendance at this point prompted voted no.  All eyes turned to him and he thought
it over for a minute.  Meh.  What the hell.  “I’m OCD, Mr. Chairman.”  He put
up his thumb.  “I vote aye.  Hopefully this new board can dig us out of the
hole the previous one sunk us into.  I look forward to working with your new
administration.”

The board stared at him in stunned shock,
and then started laughing. 

Wyatt pounded the gavel.  “Very
well.  With Mr. OCD’s vote, along with the votes that will be cast with the
Board for the stockholder’s not in attendance, the motion passes.  The Board accepts
The Consortium’s offer, and agrees to sell its outstanding shares and assets to
them for the fair market value price of fifty-two million, five-hundred and
seven thousand, forty-two dollars and sixteen cents.”  He signed the contract
and passed it around to the others for their signatures as well.  “Very well. 
Meeting adjured, people.”  He stood up from the table and absently tossed the
gavel over his shoulder.  “The Board would like to thank our company’s lead
counsel for all her assistance in this matter.”  He bowed his head to the woman
at the microphone.  “Dr. Wilson; I apologize for ever doubting you.  Your
kung-fu is
astonishing
.”

Harlot took Wyatt’s hand and kissed
him on the cheek.  She looked out over the crowd as they swept from the room arm
in arm.  “See all you Jo, Beth, Meg and Amys later!”

Poacher vaulted over the conference
table and hurried after his companions as they left.  “Yeah, see all you fucks
at the
next
meeting.”

The Wilson woman nonchalantly
walked up onto the stage, and sat down at the place reserved for the corporate
secretary.  “I would like to take this opportunity to
welcome
you all to
the Consortium of Chaos corporate umbrella.  We here at the C of C are
eager
to begin working with all of you in this exciting new venture, and are sure
that you will be valued and important members of our team.”  She pulled out a
new sheet of paper and her glasses slipped down her nose.  “Now then, if I can
have all department heads step forward please?  I wish to discuss the upcoming
series of
layoffs
which we regrettably will be forced to institute
.”

One-Two-Three-Four-Five-One-Two-Three-Four-Five……

A
Lion once fell in love with a beautiful maiden and asked her parents for her
hand.  They did not want to give permission, but did not wish to enrage the
King of Beasts.  At last the father said: "We feel highly honored by your
Majesty's proposal, but our daughter is a tender young thing, and we fear that
you might possibly do her some injury.  Might I suggest that your Majesty should
have your claws removed, and your teeth extracted, and then we would gladly consider
your proposal again?"  The Lion was so much in love that he did as they
asked.  But when he came again to the parents of the young girl they simply
laughed in his face, and bade him do his worst.  The moral of the story?  Love
can tame the wildest.

Fabricator straightened his acid
wash denim jacket.  “No way, man!  No way!  I am not missing the prom for your
lame mission, Dauntless.  Roxanne spent all week picking out her dress, and it
would be so totally uncool if I missed it like some dork.”  He slid the bright
red helmet over his rebelliously long hair and flipped the visor down.  “You’re
just going to have to find some other dude to fly the Liberty Shuttle and stop
those Spartainian clown’s invasion force, okay, pops?”

Dauntless shook his suddenly
dark-haired
head.  “We need you, Fabricator!”  He looked out over a suspiciously flat and
one dimensional view of the city, which, if you knew anything about the
geography of the area, could only have been seen from either a boat in the
harbor, or from an apartment building across the river in New Jersey.  “…This
CITY needs you, son!  Don’t be a dork to her, either.”  He smiled.  “…Because
heroism can be a pretty cool babe, too.”

Fabricator got off his motorcycle
and removed his helmet, his hair STILL somehow managing to look amazing.  “I
guess you’re right, Uncle Dauntless.  I was being totally bogus.”  Behind him
on the motorcycle, a small green cat barked, and Fabricator turned to ruffle
its head.  “And I know that Fantasti-Cat wants another shot at those geeks, too! 
RADICAL!”

Dauntless nodded seriously.  “Yes,
we will stop them Fabricator,” he said. “They will try to beat us, but they will
not succeed.  They will try to vanquish us as we defend the city; do battle
with us, determined to stop us.” He nodded. ”Yes, Fabricator, we will stop them.
 Because we will always stop them.  They don’t stand a chance when they try to
beat us.  Not with the way we’ll be stopping them.”

Fabricator nodded, flashing a dopy,
inappropriate smile.  “Yes sir, Uncle Dauntless!  We’ll stop them!”

Dauntless ruffled Fabricator’s
gorgeous long hair.  “Atta boy, Fabricator!  As we’re stopping them, you can
show Roxanne how cool a dude you really are.”

Suddenly behind them a multicolored
Jeep pulled up and a female version of Architect jumped out, running across the
grass wearing the shortest denim shorts ever seen on planet Earth.  Good lord,
Enmity’s underwear sized uniform covered more skin.  “Look out, Freedom Squad! 
The Spartainian baseship is landing!”

Dauntless raised a fist above his
head.  “Freedom Squad! 
PULL TOGETHER!”

A rainbow kaleidoscope filled the
sky, and they were all suddenly dressed in their uniforms…and Badger was now
there as well.  …Somehow.

Female version of Architect pointed
at the very cheap looking model representing the Spartainian base ship, the
zipper holding her latex blue costume on, poised directly between her absurdly
large and obviously fake, spray-tanned breasts.  “Look!  The Spartianian base
ship!”

Dauntless looked serious.  “Yes. 
It is the Spartainian base ship…but we will stop them.”

“We sure will, Uncle Dauntless.  We’ll
beat those Spartainian dweebs and their dorky baseship!”

Badger nodded, not bothering to offer
an explanation on how he had somehow teleported into the scene.  “Good point,
my boy.  You’ve learned an important message about doing what’s right, no
matter the personal cost.”  He nodded and placed his hand on Fabricator’s
shoulder.  “And
learning
means
growing
.”

Fabricator walked towards where the
base ship was supposed to have landed…although that particular area was ACTUALLY
filled with a Mega-Mart department store and no craft could POSSIBLY land
there.  “Surrender villains!”  He flipped his hair so that it blew in the gust
of wind that suddenly kicked up from nowhere, and joined his impractically long
cape as it billowed behind him.  “In the name of
freedom
!”

Wyatt rolled his eyes.  “Wow.”  He
turned to look at Harlot as he sat on the couch beside her.  “And you really
want me to start saying that, again?  Because I’ve never actually seen it from
an outsider’s perspective before, and I gotta say…I sound like a
fucking
idiot
.”  He gestured to the DVD of the live action
Freedom Squad
TV
show playing on the screen in front of them in her room.  “And this little punk
is even worse at it than I was!”

She sighed and hit pause so that he
didn’t talk over too much of the story.  He’d totally fall behind.  “You have
got to be kidding me!  This episode is the best!  You’re going to have to
rescue Roxanne’s little brother from the Spartainian overlord!  And then the
shuttle crashes outside of the prom…and you rush in…and you take her hands as
the music plays…and you look into her eyes, and say that you TOLD her that
you’d make it to prom….
it’s so romantic!”

He rolled his eyes.  “It is NOT
romantic, okay?  If I crashed the Liberty Shuttle into a high school gymnasium,
you
wouldn’t
be dancing.  The shock wave would liquefy your internal
organs, and then the rocket booster fuel would hit you in a tidal wave of fire and…”

She swatted his arm.  “It’s a
TELEVISION SHOW!  It doesn’t have to be
realistic
; it only has to be
entertaining.”

He pulled her closer to him on the
sofa.  “Well, it’s failing at that too.” 

“Would you rather do something
else?”

She started to stand up and his
hand shot out to gently grab her and keep her on the couch next to him.  “No. 
No, I’m good.”  He smiled.  “I can honestly say that there is no place in the
world I would rather be than here with you.  Watching bad TV shows with you is
the new highlight of my life.”  He went back to watching it.  “I just don’t
understand what Roxanne
sees
in him is all.  I mean, yeah he saved her
from that gang of motorcycle driving sharks, but I don’t believe that he really
cares
for her.  He’s just a selfish little punk.  She should
obviously
go with Sir Prize.”  He reached for a bucket of popcorn and started to eat
a mouthful.  “Ever since that episode where they all went to…”

She gasped.  “Bite your tongue!  No
one would
ever
dump Fabricator!”

He shook his head.  “I’ll never
understand your thing about that guy.  Nathan would be a way better boyfriend. 
And he’s rich.  Fabricator never puts her first.  Take this episode for
instance, here he is, skipping prom like a punk and making Roxanne sad.”

“But he
makes it to prom!”

“Eventually, sure.”  He rolled his
eyes, and started speaking as if he were Roxanne.  “Oh, that’s just swell,
Wyatt.  I’m so
glad
you were able to squeeze me into your busy schedule
like that.  Next time, I’ll try to make an
appointment
when I want to
spend time with you.”

Her eyes narrowed.  “You’re really
going to want to stop talking now.”

He shook his head.  “No, no.  I’m
serious.  A REAL man would have told Dauntless to go piss up a rope, because he
was going to prom with Roxanne FIRST, and then, if there was time left over and
Roxanne didn’t need him for anything else, THEN he’d deal with the invasion. 
That’s what Charles did in episode 3 of season one, if you remember…”

“
Of course I remember!” 
She
angrily grabbed a handful of popcorn.
  “I wrote the Wikipedia entry on it!”

“I know, I read it.  I recognized
your work immediately, as no one but you uses the word ‘puddin’ pop’ to
describe Fabricator.  Or that Fabricator was ‘so pretty…it burns’.”  He
shrugged.  “Don’t get me wrong, I thought you made some truly
brilliant
observations about the characters, and your critical analysis of season 6 was
honestly
publishable quality.  My mind is still kind of blown at how you were able to
just tie it all together like that and it made me see it in an entirely new
way.  I’ve already printed it out in case someone tries to erase it…  Amazing
work…  But I just think you oversold their romance in your review.  He doesn’t
deserve her.  She can do better.”  He kissed her forehead, and then paused.  “I
mean
I
would never do that.  And I also wouldn’t have been captured by ‘The
Capturer’ in Season 1 like he was.  That was just stupid. 
Anyone
could
have seen that was a trap.  The guy’s name is ‘The Capturer’!  OF COURSE it’s a
trap, dumbass!  And I took out ‘Seismic’
on my own,
I didn’t need the
rest
of the league for it like he did, and I
didn’t
stop for a dance number.”

She smiled as the realization hit
her.  “Oh my god…are you
seriously
jealous of the guy playing you?”

The idea that someone so utterly
amazing would feel anxious about ANYTHING was amusing.  She was under no
delusions about him.  She knew the difference between the man and the hero on
TV, and she honestly felt the man was vastly superior.  Wyatt seemed to be
under the impression that his old persona was somehow “better” than the man
behind the stupid looking mask though, which was insane.  He was even MORE
impressive without it!  And way better looking.  Covering up a face like his
was a crime against nature!  And there was no WAY that any
actor
could
capture his awesome-ness!  The guy was just a stupid stand-in; WYATT was the
real deal!

He shook his head.  “Of course
not.  That would be silly.”  His eyes drifted over to an autographed picture of
the actor hanging on her wall.  “But who IS this guy?  Huh?  He looks NOTHING
like me, he’s a
terrible
actor, and his hair is preposterously big.”

She gasped.  “
I LIKE his hair!” 
She laughed again.  “You don’t have to be jealous though.  I don’t want the
cheap imitation you.”

He made a non-committal sound,
obviously unconvinced.

She rested her head on his
shoulder.  “If it makes you feel any better, there were petitions at the time
to get rid of this guy, and bring over one
Cory Henderson Henries
to play
you.”

Wyatt almost choked.  “NO WAY!”

She nodded and began to absently
intertwine his fingers with hers.  “Oh yeah.  Signed one myself, once upon a
time.  But Vaudeville didn’t want to leave his
Klose but no Cigar
sitcom
gig…and then he had his accident…but the fact remains that HE could have pulled
off your hair flip better than Brian Hodges here.  I mean, I don’t have a
problem with him, but when they recast him with Dirk Thunder in season five?  I
wasn’t exactly crying.”

He pulled her onto his lap, and
kissed the top of her hand.  “Dirk Thunder?  Wow.  Now THERE’S a stupid name.”

She waved a dismissive hand at his
negativity and hit play on the show again, resting her head against his.  The Freedom
Squad’s stunt doubles began awkwardly fighting the men who were wearing alien
masks and Greek robes.

“Hey!  He won an Emmy for that
storyline where you had to try to save Roxanne from the lavamen, and then she
got burned and had scars…”  She sniffed, feeling emotional.  “…And you said…you
said that it didn’t matter to you what her skin looked like…That…”  She sniffed
again.  “…That you loved what was INSIDE…”  She dabbed at her eyes.  “It was
just so
beautiful
.”

Wyatt gasped and pulled away from
her as if shocked.  “Inside?  What, like he loved being inside her
body
? 
Damn.  How did the censors let THAT one slide?  It’s filthy!”

She scowled up at him.  “Not
sexually, moron!  You loved her heart!  Her soul!  Her essential ROXANNE-NESS! 
You loved her, not just how pretty she was, or the fact that she was Professor
Jacobs’ only daughter, or that she worked as an ambassador at the Earth
embassy!  You loved
her!”

He kissed the top of her head.  “Even
with all kinds of gross scars?”  He paused considering that for a moment.  “Where
and how many?”  He shook his head.  “Because that sounds kind of gross to me. 
All scabby.  I’d dump her.”

Her mouth fell open in shock, and
she prepared to hit him…then noticed that the corners of his mouth were trying
not to smile.  She smacked at his shoulder again.  “Jerk.”

He put his arms around her.  “So…I’m
thinking that I need to forget all about this stuff and…
take YOU to prom.” 

She smiled.  “But what about the
Spartainian fleet?”

He shrugged.  “Fuck ‘em.  I have it
on good authority that we’ll stop them anyway.”  He moved closer to her on the
couch.  “In the name of freedom…”  He took the DVD remote from her hand and
tossed it across the room so that landed on her bed.  He started kissing her
neck.  “Want to…
go to prom
with me, or are you going to make me go fight
the aliens like a
total
geek?”

She laughed, he hand falling down
to undo his belt.  “Umm…I think that I’ve been captured by the aliens…and
they’ve strapped me to their probing table…doing all sorts of
unnatural
things with their alien tools…”

He nodded.  “Could happen.  If I
were an alien, that’s what I’d do.”  He sat back a moment, and a weird looking
tool filled his hand, resembling some kind of sex toy.  “Did it look like
this?  Because I think you’d better
show
me what those bad, bad men
did.”