Yesterdays Gone: SEASON TWO (THE POST-APOCALYPTIC SERIAL THRILLER) (Yesterday's Gone) (45 page)

He took Mary’s left hand, and Brother Rei took her right. They closed their eyes and lowered their heads as Mary stood and pretended to pray along with them, even though every fiber inside her wanted to run.
 

**

Mary picked at her dinner, which was an hour and a half later than usual, shuffling the potatoes around on her plate and scooping small forkfuls into her mouth, just enough so she wouldn’t appear unappreciative of all the Good Lord had given them. She chewed with no pleasure and swallowed with less, each bite counting the minutes until she could speak with Desmond and Will again.

After dinner, the three of them gathered in the garden, where they spoke in swift whispers. Mary updated them, then shook her head. “I just don’t know anymore. It’s not that I think this place is safe, because I don’t. And The Prophet’s little talk designed to make me feel safer only made me want to run farther and faster. But I can’t ignore what’s happening outside. It sounds like it’s getting worse, and I’m not sure we can handle it out there alone.”

Will said, “We shouldn't forget, we’d all be dead right now if it wasn’t for the people here at The Sanctuary. Before John and his crew came in like The Cavalry, I was taking shots from the top of a silo with a few bullets to go and an army of crazy bleakers flooding through the gates.”

 
Mary looked at Desmond, who was clearly swallowing his every other thought. It was tough to argue with the truth of Will’s words, and Desmond dared not. Not now.

Mary said, “Scott didn’t have to die. That is tragic and unnecessary. And I could never live with myself if something we could’ve prevented happens to Paola or Luca, or either one of you guys.”

Desmond looked at Mary. “Will you be able to forgive yourself if The Prophet shaves Paola’s hair and throws her in a box?” Mary wasn’t sure if Desmond meant his words to sound as icy as they had, but she must have looked upset because he immediately said, “I’m sorry.”

Mary didn’t say anything, but she slipped her hand into Desmond’s. Will said, “I’m with you, Mary. I’d never forgive myself either, and I’m the one pushing hardest to stay. So I say we sleep on it. You said His Holy Worship has given us three days to decide, so I say we take three days to decide. Let’s hit the hay and talk in the morning. The walls have ears and right now they’re likely tuned to our conversation. Early to bed, early to rise; we’ve a funeral in the morning, a wretched surprise.”

“Thank you, Dr. Seuss,” Desmond said.
 

The trio said good night. Mary returned to her room and tucked Paola in for the night before slipping beneath the stiff sheets of her hard bed, where she tossed and turned for hours, thinking about everything from Desmond to escape.

Everything felt wretched, and none of it right. They were all in grave danger if they left. She knew it like she knew that water was wet. Yet as certain as she was, she had no idea what to do. How long could they live at The Sanctuary before the cult came to punish one of them for some imagined sin?

 
And then there was the guilt, lying in bed with a dull ache between her legs, wanting nothing more than to have Desmond fill it. They’d not managed to sneak off a single time together, and as sad as it was to admit, they were both afraid of what would happen if they were caught. Mary was too goddamn old to feel like she was in high school, and she shouldn't have to bury her needs. She was wet and hungry, laying face down, filled with guilt for thinking about Desmond inside her, even though young Scott, barely old enough to scrape a razor on his face, would be six feet under in just a few hours.

Mary felt a chill imagining The Prophet’s sermon, talking about how Scott could finally feel the Glory of strolling through the Gates to meet the Good Lord, after “bravely fighting off the evils of the approaching Demons” in his few final minutes.

When she finally fell asleep, Desmond disappeared, her mind filled by Ryan instead. He was lying still, as a young black boy and an old black man in a wheelchair hovered above, wiping a cloth across his face. He slowly opened his eyes to the bright light pouring in from the open windows. “He’s awake, Gramps!” the boy said.

Ryan looked like he could barely move. “I thought you was never gonna wake,” the old man said.

“What happened?” Ryan said, barely coherent.
 

The old man said he was safe and that the monsters were gone. Ryan was confused, asking questions and barely comprehending the answers. They hydrated him with water and told him again that he was safe, said he’d been out for five days after the monsters had bitten him. His eyes fluttered shut and his breathing collapsed. His head fell back against the pillow.
 

That’s when he saw Mary.

Ryan said. “Is that really you? I’ve been searching for you everywhere”

“You have?”
 

“Of course,” he said. “I’ve been looking for you and Paola for months.”

Something swam inside Mary’s head, telling her she’d been in a similar spot many times before. “Is this real?” she asked. “Are you really still alive? I know I’m dreaming, but are you dreaming, too?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” he said. Ryan smiled the same smile that had brought her to her knees more times than she could count. He met her eyes. “Are you and Paola really alive? I was almost out of hope.”

“We are,” Mary said. And though she didn’t know why she said it, or even where it came from, she added, “Look for the broken cross. You’ll know it when you see the stone walls. We need you to get here before the monsters attack.”

 
Ryan turned to dust before she wandered through another series of dreams, not one of which she later remembered. When she woke the next morning, she had thoughts of Ryan at the front of her mind, like she often did, but remember anything beyond that he’d been in her dreams.
 

She was awake for less than a minute when a queasy feeling rolled through her belly again, and sent her racing to the toilet. She made it just in time, as she vomited mostly fluids into the toilet.
 

Mary had felt that same feeling once before, 13 years earlier. The last time she had wanted dill pickles and green olives for 10 weeks straight.
 

There was life growing inside her, whether The Prophet would like it or not

* * * *

LUCA HARDING: PART 2

Kingsland, Alabama

The Sanctuary

March 24

10:29 p.m.

Luca stared out the window at The Box of Shame, thinking about Rebecca and feeling the empty inside him that reminded him too much of the Terrible Scary. Scott had been killed by the monsters today, or the Demons, as everyone here called them, so Luca was alone in the room, trying not to feel sad. But it wasn’t working.

He washed his face, brushed his teeth, missed his family, then got back into bed with his face to the wall. He lay like that for 15 minutes, before he couldn't stand to stare at the flickering shadows of tree branches on his wall any longer. He flipped to his other side so he could stare out the window at The Box of Shame, standing alone beneath the moonlight, illuminated by a thin shaft of silver raining from the sky like a spotlight on the girl’s sadness.

I’m sorry you got put inside there
, Luca thought.
It wasn’t fair.

Luca had become used to the voices in his head, but until earlier that day, he wasn’t used to people answering back. But there was no mistaking the voice in his head this time. Rebecca said, “
Are you really there?
”

Luca thought, “
Yes, I’m upstairs in my room. I’m looking at the box right now, and I can feel that you’re sad. Are you scared?
”

“
Yes,
” Rebecca thought. “
It’s really cold in here, and I’m hungry and lonely and I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. I heard bad stuff happened today. Is it true that someone died?
”

“
Some of the men went out on a run and were attacked by monsters. Scott died. So did Eli. They are going to have a funeral for both of them tomorrow.
”

“
Oh my God,
” Rebecca thought. “
Scott was your friend, wasn’t he?
”

“
Yeah,
” Luca thought.

“
I’m so sorry.
”

“
Me too,
” Luca said. “
For Eli. Did you know him well?
”

“
Yeah,
” she said, quiet for a full minute.

“
You’re wondering what would happen if the monsters came inside The Sanctuary, aren’t you?
” Luca thought. “
You’re wondering if you would be safe, or if everyone would run and leave you behind?
”
 

Luca could feel Rebecca nodding.

“
I’m so cold. I keep wondering what’s going to happen to me in here. I’m afraid it’s going to be something really bad. Even if the monsters don’t get me, I’ll starve to death because no one will be here to put bread through the window.
”

“
I’ll make sure you’re safe.
”

“
How?
”

“
I don’t know yet,
” Luca thought, “
But I’m going to sleep now, and that’s where I do all my best thinking. It’s where I meet all the voices who tell me everything I need to know.
”

“
Who are they? What do they say?
”

“
I dunno who they are. They say all sorts of things,
” Luca thought.
 

“
How do you know they’re telling the truth?
”

“
Because I’m sleeping. The voices always tell the truth when I’m sleeping. I think because over there, they don’t know how to lie. That’s why I get more confused in the daytime sometimes than I do when I’m sleeping. When I’m sleeping, it’s only the voices talking. In the daytime, I can hear all the other people too. It’s too much; I can’t hear the voices that aren’t people.
”

“
Huh?
” Rebecca said.

“
It’ll make sense soon
,” Luca said. “
Are you still cold?
”

“
Yes,
” she said.
 

“
I’ve got an idea,
” Luca said, and closed his eyes, imagining himself floating out of his body. He floated over his bed, looking down at himself, this older version of him that still seemed so different than how he visualized himself.

He looked outside the window, floated toward it, and dissolved through the wall.

It worked!

“
What?
” Rebecca asked.

“
Hold on.
”

Luca floated out into the night air; he could feel its coldness on his skin. He looked above the house and saw the guard sitting in the box on top of the roof. The man was smoking a cigarette, starting at and through Luca’s ghost-self.

“
He can’t see me.”

“
Who can’t see you?
” Rebecca asked.

“
The guard. He can’t see me.”

“
What are you doing? Are you outside?
”

“
I’m here.”

“
Where? I can’t see you.
”

“
Close your eyes.”

Suddenly, Rebecca appeared, or a ghost-version of her, coming through the box and floating above it, looking around wide-eyed. Her bald head had small patches where Brother Rei hadn’t gotten all the hair. She looked sickly, like those kids in the sad commercials Luca always saw on TV, and it made him sad for her.

“What did you do?” she asked, using her mouth instead of her mind. Luca turned to see if the guard had heard her. He hadn’t.

“I don’t know,” he said, “This is the first time I’ve ever done this.”

“Can he see us? Is this real?”

“I don’t think he can see us,” Luca said. “And I’m not sure if this is real, or that it matters.”

“Take my hand; I want to show you something,” he said.

Rebecca reached out and as their hands touched, a spark shot between their fingers. She pulled back, but only for a second before reaching out again.

Luca closed his hand around hers. Her hand was ice cold. He thought warm thoughts, and the girl smiled, feeling the heat.

“How?” she asked, looking down at her hand, then back up at him.

“Watch this,” he said, pulling her up into the sky, both of them floating over the trees, and then even higher.

She pulled herself closer to him, as if she might fall if he let go.

Luca felt her coldness thaw against his chest, and he felt happy.

“Can we fall?” she asked.

“I don’t think so,” he said. “Let’s go somewhere.”

“Where?” she asked, looking at him,confused.

“There,” he said, pointing to a nearby mountaintop, which glowed in a weird orange light.

They floated fast through the falling snow. Below them, in the middle of all the snow, was a circle of greenery and vibrant flowers, a place untouched by the winter. And in that grass, a wooden swing set with red seats, even nicer than the one he’d sat on with Paola.