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Authors: Piers Anthony

Tags: #Humor, #Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Young Adult

BOOK: Xone Of Contention
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“Why do they despoil it?” Chlorine asked. “Xanth is so much nicer.”

“People are short sighted.” Dug said “And corporations care for nothing but making more money. But folk are beginning to be aware, and things are starting to be done.”

Chlorine managed to get through her insulin shot without too much discomfort or messiness. “But this is a pain,” she told Nimby. “I'd rather be rid of it.”

Nimby looked at her.

She nodded. “Yes, why don't you abolish it? When you get your magic, it wouldn't be hard to get rid of the diabetes, and maybe trim down some of the fat on this torso As appreciation for letting me use this body. It would be a nice gesture.”

Nimby nodded.

Later, when they were alone and in their room, and she stripped away her clothing, she had another thought. “I wish panty-magic worked here in Mundania. It gives a girl confidence. For instance, I could just whip away my skirt, like this, and freak you out, unless you clamped your eyes shut just barely in time. But as it is. I can't impress you at all.” She went through the motions, and sure enough, he did not freak out. Of course he wouldn't have, being who he was, but still, she would have liked to make the effort.

But she did after all make an impression, putting Nimby in mind of the stork, and this time their summons was more competent than before. That was an achievement, because drear Mundania did not enhance it by magic. They had to do it all themselves.

Next morning they rode out to the mountains, checked in as hikers, and set off with their loads of gear along the Apple-aching Trail. The scenery was beautiful, and every detail was special. It had resemblances to Xanth, except for the lack of magic. They had to use a special salve to keep the biting bugs off: there was no spell to banish them. There were no dragons, griffins, or harpies in the sky, only birds, and small ones at that.

Late in the day they camped, pitching cozy mint-tents and watching the colored sunset. “I had forgotten how much fun this was.” Kim remarked.

“I hadn't,” Dug said. “It was the first lime I got you into the sack.”

“That, too.” she agreed.

“Why would he want to put you in a bag?” Chlorine asked.

Dug and Kim laughed “Mundane men have this quaint notion that women should be kept, so they try to stuff them into sacks.” Kim explained.

“And for some reason the women don't like getting stuffed.” Dug agreed. “It's called the war of the genders.”

“And we're winning,” Kim said. “Fortunately the men don't yet know that.”

Chlorine shook her head. “Mundania is a strange place ”

“Well, it's not Xanth, but it's bearable on occasion.”

Kim set up her little computer. “You can use that with no connection?” Chlorine asked, surprised. “I thought that without magic, it wouldn't work alone.”

“No magic. It's a notebook. With a good battery and satellite link, no problem.” Sure enough, her screen lighted and print appeared. She moved through the linkages. “The O-Xone's back! We can check in again.”

Chlorine checked in, leaving her message: all is well. Then they closed, as Kim said it wasn't good to run the computer too long on batteries. But, reassured, they relaxed. Dearth had not caught on. and they were not under siege. It had perhaps been a false alarm. Still, Chlorine was glad they had made the effort of contact through the Xanth Xone. If Dearth was aware, that might be the reason he was letting it go, realizing that he couldn't entirely block the connection to Xanth.

In the night it rained. It was a sudden, booming thunderstorm, with sharp winds that brought down branches, and the rain was torrential. The tents were well pitched, but a fluke of drainage softened the ground and let a peg on Dug and Kim's tent pull free, and their tent collapsed. In the darkness, in the storm, they couldn't do much about it except huddle under the canvas, and they kept reasonably dry.

But in the morning they discovered that some baggage had gotten exposed to the rain, and soaked through. The clothing would dry, but the notebook computer had been shorted out and was inoperative. It would have to be taken to a shop for repair before it could be used again.

The computer had been put in a corner of the tent nearest the washed out peg. The coursing water had made a channel that oriented on that corner with eerie precision. Almost as if nature had intended to nullify the little machine.

“Dearth.” Chlorine said grimly. Nimby nodded. They had relaxed, foolishly, and now they were in trouble. For Chlorine knew that this was merely the second step, after the O-Xone interruption, of a program of isolation and containment by the Demon E(A/R)th. He intended to trap Nimby here, and surely had other mechanisms to enforce that.

Nimby pointed at the sky. There overhead was a shape in rainbow colors, but it was no rainbow. It was a full circle, with two lines bisecting it, forming a cross.

“The symbol for Earth,” Chlorine said. “It is the Challenge. Nimby must get out of Mundania within three days of this moment, or he has lost.”

“And Dearth has already handicapped him by taking out our computer contact,” Dug said. “Demonic timing.”

“Of course. Now Dearth believes he can win.”

“I think we are not going to enjoy the next few hours,” Kim said. Those were surely true words.

Xanth 23 - Xone of Contention
Chapter 10: ROBOTA

Edsel really liked the way Pia had warmed to him during the challenges. And all because he had shown some re spect for her mind. If only he had realized that that was what she wanted all along, they would never had drifted into marital difficulties.

“Wait for us!” Breanna called. She and Justin were coming through the now unguarded portal. “How did you ever do it? We just saw you talking, and then you were through.”

“Sex appeal and quantum physics,” Edsel said.

“We distracted them,” Pia clarified. “The guardians were only clones.”

"For sure,” Breanna said uncertainly.

They turned to enter the castle proper, now that they were safely beyond the wall. A woman was coming toward them. “Oh, there's Wira!”

The woman paused as they approached. “Hello, Breanna and Justin.” she said. She turned to the others. “And you must be Edsel and Pia. I am Wira, the Good Magician's daughter in law.”

“Wira can't see you,” Breanna said. “But she can hear you.”

“You're blind?” Edsel asked before he thought. “I mean, aren't there healing springs—” He broke off. afraid he was being crude.

“I am naturally blind,” Wira said. “So can't be healed. But I am happy here, and Humfrey and his designated wives arc nice ”

“Designated what’s?” Pia asked sharply.

Wira smiled. “The Good Magician has had a long life. He married and lost five and a half wives, then got them all back together. Now they take turns being with him. and the current one. Rose of Roogna, is here this month.”

“Rose of Roogna?” Edsel asked. “Isn't that the name of the capital Castle?”

“Yes. She lived there for a long time, until she married Humfrey. She grows magic roses. She is especially nice.” Wira turned and led the way through the castle.

A comfortable gray haired woman met them. Her hair was coifed to resemble a rose flower. “Hello. I am Rose. Let me feed you before you see Humfrey.”

They sat down to a meal of rose hips and rose wine, along with rose potatoes and red gravy. There was rose scented bread with rose petal jelly. It wasn't the most conventional food, but it was good. Rose was a good hostess who seemed genuinely to enjoy their company though they were strangers to her; that was an air not every person had.

“The next step you two must take alone,” Breanna said. “Justin and I would only be in the way.”

Then Wira conducted Edsel and Pia up coiling stairs to a dingy cubbyhole. A gnomish man hunched over a monstrous tome.

Edsel let Pia talk, as this was really her mission

She stepped forward. “Good Magician—how can we get rid of the Demon CoTwo?”

The little man looked up. His set features softened as he oriented on Pia; she had that effect on men of any age. “My dear, you can't. Ask another Question.”

“But this is the one I need!” she protested, her lower lip beginning to tremble. “I've got to have it.”

“Please,” Wira murmured nervously. “Don't argue with him. It makes him grumpy ”

“I don't care if if makes him explode,” Pia said, sounding hysterical. “The trees are drowning, and we've got to save them.”

Edsel stepped in. “Maybe I can finesse this,” he said quietly to Pia. This came under the heading of supporting her completely. Then, to Humfrey “What she means is, there is a crisis we want very much to alleviate, and we hope you will be able to provide us a means. Is there some way we can accomplish our objective?”

The Good Magician oriented on him. The gnome's direct gaze was disconcertingly savvy. “Well put. What you require is the magic locket, which is one of the stray artifacts with imbued talents from the ancient city of Hinge. Hitherto only bracelets have shown up, but now so has the locket. Put the Demon CoTwo therein, and it will lessen his power sufficiently to eliminate the melting, without putting all Xanth into deep freeze.”

“Magic locket?” Pia asked.

“You have seen it,” Humfrey informed her gently. “The half demon children have it. Borrow it from them for your purpose. Now consult with my assistant to arrange your Service.”

“That may be complicated,” Edsel said. “You see, we—”

But the weathered old eyes had already returned to the tome. The Good Magician had tuned them out.

“This way,” Wira murmured. They followed her out of the cramped study and down the stairs to another chamber. A man and woman, each in the neighborhood of thirty, stood to meet them as they entered.

“This is the Good Magician's assistant. Magician Grey Murphy, and his wife, Princess Ivy.” Wira said. Then, to the others: “Edsel and Pia of Mundania, here as exchange visitors.”

“Glad to meet you.” Grey said, advancing to shake hands. He was a nondescript person, who would have been unremarkable except for his magic. “I was raised in Mundania myself. I was frankly glad to get away from it, not just because of Ivy.”

The princess smiled. She had long greenish yellow hair and blue eyes. “I visited it, but do prefer it here in Xanth. Sit down; we must talk.”

They took seats on the large toadstools in the room. “We are supposed to see about our Service for our Answer,” Edsel said. “But we can't stay in Xanth for a year, much as we might like to.”

“Humfrey knows that,” Ivy said. “He always knows, and things always come out well. Your service can be performed in as little as a day, but it is vitally important.”

Pia began to relax. “A day we can handle. But why would anything important be left to Mundanes? We hardly know anything about Xanth, really. We depend on our Companions to keep us out of trouble.”

“Breanna and Justin have not deserted you.” Ivy said. “This just happens to be something rather special and private.”

“And especially suitable for Mundanes,” Grey said “Because you have so little direct connection to Xanth.”

“This is a peculiar qualification.” Edsel said.

“It is a peculiar mission,” Grey said earnestly. “Are you familiar with the concept of temporal paradox?”

“You mean traveling back in lime and murdering your grandfather?” Edsel asked.

“Yes. Any change to a person's own present status would be as difficult. But here in Xanth the rules are different. We can, in our fashion, travel in time, and we don't necessarily honor the laws of paradox. That's what makes this mission so awkward.”

“You want us to travel in time?” Pia asked, alarmed.

“Not you.” Grey said. “Me. But I am concerned that I may do something that changes Xanth's present situation, and might not know it.”

“How would you know it?” Edsel asked. “To you in the present, whatever existed would seem to have always been the case.”

“Exactly. I might retain a memory of the other situation, but no one else would believe me. And if I did something that caused Ivy not to exist—” He shuddered.

“Whatever would possess you to take such a risk?” Pia asked. “Assuming it's possible, which I doubt.”

“I must bore you with a bit of spot personal history,” Grey said. “My father is Magician Murphy, who makes things go wrong. My mother is Sorceress Vadne, whose talent is topology. Several centuries ago Murphy tried to wrest the throne of Xanth from the legitimate king, for which he was retired to the Brain Coral's Pool for indefinite storage. Vadne resented Millie the Maid's appeal to the Zombie Master, and topologically converted her to a book. For this she too was banished to the Pool. During the Time of No Magic the two escaped Pool confinement and made a deal with Com Pewter: he enabled them to go to Mundania. where they could not be apprehended. But there was a price: they had to give their future child to Pewter, lor lifelong service. I am that child.”

“But how could you be committed to such a thing?” Edsel asked. “You didn't even exist ”

“People of honor fulfill their deals,” Grey said. “Pewter performed a real service for my parents, that enabled them to live good live in Mundania, and enabled me to exist. We recognize that debt.”

“But people can't he traded for favors,” Pia said.

Grey shrugged. “Those who feel that way should of course refuse to make such deals. But if they do make them, they should honor them.”

“So you serve Pewter?” Pia asked, unpleased.

“No. My service was pre-empted by that to the Good Magician. Since this is a permanent position, the matter has become moot.”

“So you found a way to wiggle out of it.” Pia said.

“Technically, yes. But I do feel I owe Pewter something. Hence our present agreement. I will perform a significant service for him, that only I can do, to make up for the service he lost. Because of the delicate nature of it, he is amenable to this, and will consider the deal my parents made to be complete.”

“Plea bargaining,” Pia said.

“Or accepting reality.” Ivy said. “Pewter knows he's never going to get Grey full time, and this is a lot better than nothing. Grey's good will is essential.”

“And the Good Magician goes along with this?” she asked.

“He prefers to have me free of potentially awkward obligation. This will free me.”

Edsel was getting quite curious. “Just what is this significant, critical thing you will do? That maybe involves paradox.”

“I will conduct a creature of Pewter's creation to Xanth's past, so she can learn something Pewter wishes to know. The journey would be extremely difficult to accomplish without my assistance, because my talent of nullifying magic is necessary at some points. However—”

“You could change Pewter's past—and therefore his present,” Edsel said, catching on. “You might even cause him not to exist.”

Grey nodded. “This is not a mission a person would send an enemy on. As it is. I do feel I owe him a favor, and I am amenable to acquitting it in this manner. He knows he can trust me to do my best to accomplish it, without trying to nullify him. I have my own reasons to see that the present situation is maintained ” He glanced at Ivy. who smiled back.

“How do we fit in?” Pia asked.

“We need to provide more background first,” Ivy said.

“The danger of inadvertently changing the present is unavoidable,” Grey said “I will not do so intentionally, but the effect could be just as severe if I made a mistake. But it will be very difficult to avoid that risk, because not only will I be in the past, where the consequences of my actions will not be immediately apparent, but when I return to the present, others may not believe that any change has occurred. So it probably will not be possible to correct it.”

“I'd be extremely nervous,” Pia said

“I am. But this is a necessary risk, if I am to acquit my obligation. So we hope to establish a safeguard. We believe that though regular Xanthians will not be in a position to know whether any change has occurred, Mundanes who have no historical connection to Xanth may be more objective. They should be able to see any changes, because they are not affected.”

“That's us!” Pia said.

“How?” Edsel asked.

“Com Pewter can set up a liaison, a mental connection between us, so that the two of you will be able to tune in on what the two of us in the past are doing. Then if you see Xanth changing around you, you can notify Pewter, who will send in another person to go to the past to try to change it back, or get me to change it back. If you see no change, we will know that I have succeeded in avoiding incidental mischief.”

“And that reassurance is just as important,” Edsel said. “To know you have succeeded cleanly.”

“Yes. The consequences of failure would be no less horrendous for being unknown. Without that assurance, we couldn't risk the mission.”

Edsel whistled. “I wouldn't care to risk it in any event.”

“Pewter has assessed the risk, and believes that it is minimal, with these precautions. We have to assume he is correct.”

“And I guess we'd better go along with it.” Edsel said. “Because there aren't many Mundanes traveling in Xanth at the moment.”

"And we do owe for our Answer,” Pia agreed.

“So how does this work?” Edsel asked.

“We will go to Pewter's cave, where he will use his power of reality alteration to establish a connection between the two of us and the two of you. You will be comfortable; in fact you will be able to walk around and talk with each other, as long as you remain with Pewter's sphere of influence. You will know whatever we do, as if you are seeing it yourselves ”

“Even when you—have natural functions?” Pia asked distastefully.

“The other person, with whom you will identify, will not have natural functions,” Grey said.

Edsel shut his mouth, sure that no comment on Pia's own nature was intended.

“Not have—?” Pia asked.

“She's a golem,” Ivy said “Made of metal and cloth. Animated for a purpose, alive, conscious, but not fleshly. Her name is Robot A. We call her Robota.”

“And what will she be doing in the past?”

“Com Pewter is studying the processes of weather,” Grey said. “He is vulnerable to electrical effects, such as lightning, and wishes to learn how to control them. Robota has been crafted to have the capacity to comprehend magical weather, but needs to observe it in action. There-fore she is to be sent to observe the Storm King, who governed Xanth before King Trent took over in the year 1042. He had great power over the weather, and she can learn more from him than perhaps any other person. Because talents do not repeat in exactly the same form, this is the only person who can show her this. So she will go there to study weather.”

“You are risking Xanth's very history so that Pewter's golem can study weather?” Edsel asked.

“Weather is important to us all.” Ivy said. “Now that Pewter is a nice machine, he will use the information for beneficial purposes ”

“We could use some more information about hurricanes,” Pia said. “They do millions of dollars worth of damage every year.”

“Less so when there's an El Nino,” Edsel said. “But that does other damage, and we understand it even less.”

“Since our weather has magic components, it's more complicated.” Ivy said. “So we do feel it's a worthy mission.”

Edsel nodded. “The weather affects history too. Sometimes drastically.”

“Now we realize that much of this observation will be dull.” Grey said. “But you will be able to skip over parts. It will be like—” He paused, evidently searching his distant memory of Mundania for a suitable analogy.

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