Xavier FINAL (Men of Steel #4) (17 page)

How could you want and hate a feeling at the same time? If I allowed myself I could
fall for him. How stupid would that be? I was coming off of a break up that should
have put me on the couch or in bed for at least a week, giving myself enough time
to lick my wounds and allow the painful experience to be turned into a life lesson.
A lesson I would carry like a scar, a constant reminder of why the hell that would
never happen again.

But Xavier was around every corner I tried to hide in. He was lighting up the darkness.
No he wasn’t just lighting it up, he was setting raging infernos around me and inside
me. I should walk away now so I wouldn’t get burned by this game we were playing,
but I didn’t want to. Not even a little.

After I was dressed I walked down the stairs and found him sitting at the desk.

“Good shower?” He asked in an aloof tone.

“Yep, you gonna take one?”

“Should I?”

He was acting like nothing had happened, like he was unaffected by what I had just
done and damn if it didn’t make me angry. I didn’t just want to bask in that moment,
I wanted to bathe in it, rub his nose in it, and make him not forget that this was
a game with two players, not one.

I reached over the desk and swiped my finger across his lower lip. “Probably, you
got a little on you still.”

His eyebrow slowly raised and I turned and walked away.

“Coffee?” I asked over my shoulder.

“Do you think you can handle it?” He chuckled.

“Sure thing.”

~

He didn’t shower. He spent three hours of the morning on the phone. He was adamant
that the office slash studio be presentable by the weekend. He seemed to have faith
that the general contractor would have the window in and walls up.

I was given the task, via email from Xavier, who sat a mere ten feet away from me
at maximum all morning long, to find dates and times of performances for at least
four of the artists this week.

It wasn’t as easy as it sounds. None of the prospective clients had web or social
media pages with accurate information. Some hadn’t even bothered to list where they
would be playing, or they would just give a street name, not the bar’s name. It was
more scanning web pages hoping that the bar or club had an events page on their self-made
websites. Frustrating as hell, but I found four.

Xavier was talking studio equipment, I think, with someone who didn’t seem to be a
professional but more a friend so I popped in ear buds to continue the search for
more unknowns.

It was three in the afternoon when I finally looked away from the computer screen.
We hadn’t said two words to one another. I even emailed him back the dates of the
gigs I found. He chuckled and turned his chair away from me and continued talking
on the phone.

He had emailed me a detailed schedule he had made of what was happening each day at
Forever Four
. Friday we would be in the office at Steel Industries. He seemed happy with the way
things were going. So was I.

My phone rang and it was a friend I was paired with to do a semester long project
asking what time I could meet him. I told Billy we could meet at my apartment in an
hour to come up with a plan. That’s when Xavier spoke to me the first time since ‘Office
hours’ had officially started.

“Who is Billy?” He asked looking down as he tapped the keys on his laptop.

“My partner in design lab this semester.”

“Hmm. You told him to meet you at your place?”

His voice was a little unsteady and it made me laugh. He glanced up at me and leaned
back in his chair, eyes locked on mine.

“Yes. I figured it might be a little cold on the sidewalk at school.”

“And the library?”

“Is a quiet place.” I said giving him the same annoyed look he was giving me.

He stood up pushing his chair back and his eyes remained locked on me. I let out an
exaggerated breath and his lips formed a line.

“I’ll take you. I’ll stay with you, and…”

I stood up and walked out the door and up the stairs. My pace quickened when I heard
him growl and his heavy steps coming up behind me. He was stomping up the stairs behind
me.

I went in and started putting my things in the bag he had packed for me two days ago.
I expected him to argue with me, maybe I wanted him to? I don’t know I was too confused
when he was around.

I was further confused when he walked past me into the closet and brought out some
of my clothes and put them in the suitcase. He helped me pack. Huffing much of the
time but he was helping me.

“I’ll ride into the city with you.”

“I’m taking the train.”

“Over my dead…” he stopped midsentence and clenched his jaw and grumbled for a moment
as I walked past him into the bathroom. He followed, “I have to go in anyways. It
would be silly. Jesus can’t you just say okay?”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“No maybe--.”

“Bullshit. You said okay.” He grabbed my large duffle and down the stairs he went.

~

The ride in was as quiet as the day had been. He was annoyed and I was trying my best
not to be annoyed by him being annoyed. I knew what my problem was. I was about to
face something he had made me forget.

Xavier pulled into the small lot across the road and parked the SUV. When he started
to get out I stopped him.

“I got it. Go on and do whatever it was you had to do.”

“I can carry your things up Taelyn.”

“No thank you.”

I got out with my bags and all but ran from him into my building.

I walked up two flights of stairs and through the hall door to my apartment. It took
me awhile to find the key. I opened the door and saw the mess. I hadn’t cleaned up
before Xavier swooped in and saved the day. I had left it as it had been when Daniel
had --.

I covered my ears and wasn’t sure why. I closed my eyes tight trying to make the memories
fade. Memories don’t fade. It doesn’t matter how tight you shut your eyes you can’t
erase a mental image. Regardless of how much I disliked Daniel, I still wanted to
know why. Why had he done that to me? What did I do wrong to make it okay for him
to treat me like that? What was wrong with him that made it okay to put his hands
on me-- even if I did it first. No man I knew was like that.

I jumped and screamed when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Everything else was a blur.
I was pushed to the side as Xavier tackled someone onto the floor. He was shaking
him and just as he drew his arm back I realized it was my lab partner.

“NO!” I screamed and he looked at me like I was crazy. “Bill are you okay?”

I tried to pull Xavier’s big body off poor Bill who looked like he was close to pissing
his pants. Xavier pulled his arm free of my grasp and grabbed Bill by his collar,
pulled him up, and shoved him against the wall.

“What the hell are you doing?” Xavier had him pinned, his hand was at Bill’s throat
and he wasn’t listening to a damn thing I was saying. So what do I do? I smacked him
in the back of the head. Which did nothing to him. “Damn it Xavier! Let. Him. Go!”

Xavier let go of Bill and stepped back. “Who the fuck is this?” He hissed at me.

“Just go! Get out now! I told you--.” Xavier grabbed me by my elbows, lifted me, walked
into the bathroom and kicked the door shut. The force shook the room.

“You’ll be coming back with me.” He growled.

“You’re out of your damn mind!”

“You’re not ready to be here! You’re not ready to be around anyone else but me--.”

“Out!”

His jaw dropped and then he glared at me.

“Out now!”

His mouth snapped shut and then he grabbed my face, licked up the side of my cheek,
then spun around and stormed out the door.

“One hand mother fucker.” I heard him growl and I sprinted out of the bathroom. “You
put one mother fucking hand on her and I’ll kill--.”

“Get out!”

He huffed and then stepped away from Bill who was still stunned.

“You’re making a mistake Taelyn.” He spat over his shoulder as he walked out of my
apartment.

I was completely embarrassed by what my apartment looked like, by what had just happened,
by how Xavier left, “I don’t even know how to begin trying to explain what just happened
here. Bill, I’m so sorry, are you alright?”

“Aren’t you with Daniel?” He straightened his shirt.

“No, didn’t work out.”

“Did that guy, Xavier, have anything to do with it?”

“He’s my boss and no. I don’t know what to even say- -.”

“Don’t worry about it, just make sure he understands I have no intentions of putting
my hands- -.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Okay stop the apologies. He obviously thought I had hurt you. My God look at your
place. Did you get robbed?”

I did my best to explain what had happened. I left out the part about Daniel hitting
me, and me hitting him. I was ashamed and embarrassed. When he asked about the bruise,
I told him I fell. And quickly switched the subject to the reason he was here.

I had planned on asking him if we could try our hand at a local bar’s web page. Yes
it was to benefit
Forever Four
but also for a grade. He was a wiz at the technical part; I knew I would learn a
lot from him. I also had no idea if I had just lost my job. What a messed up day.

We worked for three hours on our project. Bill had rebuilt the site, built banners
and improved page content. When we felt confident in presenting our idea the next
day to our professor we called it a night. We had decided that we would meet in the
school’s computer lab next time. My card table slash desk wasn’t all that great of
a working space.

It was only about ten minutes after Bill left when I received a text from Xavier saying
that he wouldn’t need me tomorrow night. I sat down trying to figure out how to respond
and I decided against it.

I cleaned up a little and decided not to reply. If he was going to fire me, he would
damn well do it in person. If he was going to fire me because of his outburst he was
damn well going to hear what I had to say about it.

I called my mom and we had our normal conversation. Well, as normal as it could be
when I didn’t want her to know about Daniel, or Xavier, or the fact that I had no
idea if I was with or without a job. A job I didn’t even want to begin with but now,
well I wanted my job. I really hated that I wanted my job. I also wanted food. I was
starving, and I didn’t want to be here alone. I grabbed my coat and purse and headed
out the door.

As I walked out the front door of the building I looked across the road and saw the
car, or what I thought was the car, that had been picking me up for work the previous
week. I was pretty sure I was wishfully thinking or not wishfully thinking. God this
was frustrating.

The black town car was following me and I stopped and walked back. I was annoyed and
a little uneasy. I was so close to walking up to that car and seeing if James was
the driver, but I’m a cop’s daughter so that wasn’t going to happen.

Once in the apartment I received another text, this one from Daniel.

You signed this lease with me, what are you gonna do about that?

I didn’t reply. Interesting how it’s about money and not, how’s your face. I’m sorry.
Anything else, but no, it’s just money.

I stood looking at the air mattress. I decided to flip it over hoping it would help
me be able to sleep on it. I hated the look on his face when he was pinning me down.
I knew it would be something I wouldn’t be able to forget for a very long time. If
Xavier had not called I have no idea what he would have done to me. Well I had an
idea but I couldn’t think about it, I wouldn’t think about it.

~

I didn’t sleep well. It was hard to keep my eyes open during class. It was hard to
focus too. My mind drifted from course work to Xavier Steel. I was so confused and
afraid of the feelings I had for him. I was in love with Daniel less than two weeks
ago and now I hated him. I don’t know how many times today I had to answer the question,
what happened to your face. I don’t know how many times I lied about what had happened.
And even worse was the fact that I had to act like a ditz. I wasn’t a ditz.

Bill and I had gotten the go ahead to take on the website for Rocking Chair as our
semester project and I was going to call the bar to find out if they would be willing
to take a look at it.

I walked into my building and Tally; a girl I use to go out with once in a while,
was walking in at the same time.

“What’s going on Taelyn?”

“Not much just got done with classes.”

“Your guy move out?”

“My ex and yes.” I smiled.

She looked at me and shook her head, “Is that good or--.”

“It’s good.”

“Perfect. So you free tonight? You wanna go out for a few drinks?”

“Actually I have to work.” I stopped and laughed. “On second thought yes. How about
I go take a shower and get ready? You feel like going to the Shore to check out a
band?”

“Rock?”

“Yes rock.”

“Sounds good, what time?”

“Let’s say we leave here at eight o’clock?”

“Perfect.”

I ran up the stairs to my place excited to be going out, and even more excited that
I would be seeing Xavier tonight.

At eight o’clock Tally walked in with a dress.

“Wear this. You’re since now.”

I took the dress and shook my head no. She laughed and shook hers yes.

Tally and I walked out of the building to hail a cab and the black town car pulled
up. James jumped out and opened the door.

“Where to?”

“We’ll take a cab.” I stepped around him.

“Miss Patrick, why would you do that when there is a car here already?” James smiled
politely.

“Yeah Taelyn why would you do that?” Tally grabbed my hand and pulled me back.

“How long have you been here James?”

“I don’t know how to answer that.” His expression told me all I needed to know.

“Did you follow me last night when I left the building?”