xanth 40 - isis orb (18 page)

He still had some resistance, being inherently stubborn. “Consider what?”

She kissed him again. “Our relationship.” She took his hand and stroked it across one of her curves. The effect was phenomenal. He wanted to hold her and kiss her and proceed to summoning one or more storks, though he had little idea of the technique.

“You’re trying to seduce me!” he said, catching on. “To change the subject. I won’t have it! I don’t want you that way.”

“I knew you wouldn’t,” she said.

This annoyed him anew. She was using seductive tactics to manage him. “Then why are you leading me on? When you don’t plan to follow through?”

She met his gaze seriously. “Hapless, there’s one difference between us. You wouldn’t lie to get what you want. I would.”

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

“I will be seductive when I don’t actually intend to seduce,” she said. “So it’s a lie, of a sort. It’s part of the art of being female.”

Finally he squeezed out a word. “Why?”

“Because you are being unreasonable, and I need to get you to accept your role without resenting it.”

“My role?”

“Your role as the leader of the Quest. Just as you can’t play an instrument, but you enable us to play, you can’t have a Totem, but you can enable us to get our Totems so we can complete the Quest. We all must play our parts.”

He remained resentful. He opened his mouth to protest further.

She stroked her hand across her skirt as if to make her panty line show again.

He gave it up. “Okay.”

She kissed his other ear. “Now you’re being reasonable”

“I’m not being reasonable! I just don’t want to get freaked out.”

She smiled. “That will do.”

They turned back to face the others, who had frozen like a tableau. Now that Hapless had been rendered reasonable, they resumed animation. “How do I handle the fire faun?” Nya repeated.

“I think this is your challenge to handle alone,” Faro said. “But we can give you advice.”

“Maybe you can fight fire with fire,” Zed said.

“I’ll try.” She walked to the edge of the burned out section and called to the faun. “Hey, faun, I need your Totem.”

“Go bleep your bleep, snakeskin!” the faun called back, using language that would have singed the foliage if it had not already been burned.

“Don’t speak to me that way!” Nya snapped. “I’m a lady.”

“Yeah, bleep?” he asked, employing a term that would have made a female dog snarl. “You’re missing the part of a lady I can use.” He touched his exposed front.

“Stop being obscene.”

“Make me.” He made an obscene gesture.

Hapless realized that this was a battle of attitudes as much as of words or bodies. The creature was trying to freak her out. Fauns were like satyrs, but less obsessed with sex. The kinship was evident, however.

“Stop. Or I’ll—”

“Or you’ll what, you bunless freak?”

“I’ll turn dragon and toast you soundly.”

“I’d like to see you try, naga trash.”

Nya turned dragon and sent a blowtorch blast of fire that completely enveloped the faun. Hapless was impressed; she truly had dragon fire when she needed it.

But it had no effect on the fire spirit. “Is that the best you can do, worm tail?”

Nya flew forward and coiled her sinuous body around the faun. She put her snoot to his face as if kissing him and blasted out another volley of fire. It surged right down his throat and blew him up like a balloon. But then he exhaled, blowing it out again and returning to his original shape, undamaged.

“That was some kiss, snake lips,” he said. “Do it again.”

Seeing that, Hapless knew that she would never overcome the faun with fire.

Disgusted, Nya uncoiled and retreated to the lot where the others stood. “Fire is not doing it,” she said, frustrated.

“So we see,” Feline said. “But you know, he is getting less insulting. Maybe he likes you.”

“He’s a foul-mouthed hothead!”

“A typical male,” Feline agreed. “Deal with it. Try seducing him.”

“Seducing him! I want to blow his head off!”

There was a trace of obscurity in Feline’s smile. “Well, that’s one way to do it. I was thinking of a less extreme technique. Try being sinuous atop the rock pile.”

The naga considered. Then she slithered to the rocks. She got behind them with only her forepart above. It looked as if she were a human woman standing behind the pile with only her top half showing.

“Hey, faun!” she called. “Want another kiss?”

The faun looked, and Hapless saw what the fire spirit saw: a lovely human girl’s top half, bare.

“Forget it, naga crossbreed; I know your nature.” But he was clearly interested.

Nya smiled blindingly as she did an upper body dance that Hapless found remarkably compelling. “Are you sure?”

The faun hesitated. It seemed he wasn’t sure. She had impressed him with her fire kiss, and now was adding to it via her human charms.

“All I want is the Fire Totem,” Nya called.

Wrong move. “No way,” the faun said, and turned away. The spell was broken.

“Bleep,” Feline muttered. “She impressed you more than him.”

Hapless should have known she’d be watching him.

Balked a second time, Nya appealed to the Companions. “What else is there?”

“Play music,” Faro suggested.

Hapless conjured a harmonica and brought it to her. She put it to her mouth and started playing. It was absolutely lovely from the outset.

The fire faun had been walking away. Now he paused, turning toward the sound. He was listening!

Nya shifted her melody, going to fire music. Her body seemed to glow with the heat of it, and it was a hot melody.

The faun slowly walked toward her as if in a trance, his hooves clicking on the hard ground. She faced him, still playing. He came right up to her, reached a fiery hand to touch her—

And dropped to the ground as the little Totem. Nya stopped playing, reached down, and picked up the object. “I believe I have my Totem,” she said, satisfied.

The others went to join her. She passed the artifact around so they could all appreciate it. When Hapless held it he saw that it was a miniature replica of the fire faun. Or rather, it was the fire faun himself, compacted to this inert form. No wonder he had not been eager to be converted!

“Now if only I knew how to use it,” Nya said.

“Does it have a separate use, or is it merely necessary to complete a spell to control the Orb?” Zed asked.

“I feel its power,“ Nya said as she took it back. “It is tuned to me; only I can use it. I know it can do things for me; I just don’t know what. Or how.”

“Then we had better figure it out,” Hapless said. “Because the other Totems may have similar powers, and we may need to use them before we’re done.”

“It’s fire,” Feline said. “I wonder whether it can help us with fire.”

“There’s more than enough fire here in the Region of Fire,” Faro said. “I fear for my wings.”

“Let me see,” Nya said. She slithered toward the nearest firewall, holding the Totem before her as if to ward off the flames.

When she reached the wall, it abruptly flared brighter. It intensified, radiating additional heat so that she had to slide back. It raged.

Then it puffed out, leaving a gap in the wall.

“I don’t understand,” Nya said, retreating.

“I think I do,” Zed said. “The proximity of the Fire Totem causes the fire to flare up. But then it uses up its fuel and flares out.”

“It’s filling in again,” Quin said. “Slowly.”

So it was. The fuel fumes were building up, sustaining the normal blaze. They had discovered one property of the Totem.

“But I feel there is more,” Nya said. “Its power infuses me, makes me feel stronger.”

“Don’t flare up and expire!” Quin said.

She smiled. “It’s not that kind of power. It seems to be enhancing mine, somehow.”

“You have two forms,” Quin said. “Maybe it facilitates the change.”

“Maybe,” she agreed uncertainly. “But I don’t think that’s quite it.”

“You have some human ancestry, via your naga side,” Feline said. Could it help you change to complete human form?”

“Maybe,” Nya said. She focused—and become a complete human woman.

“Oh, my,” Faro breathed. “Power indeed.”

“What I want,” Quin said. “When I get my Totem, will it grant my wish? To become human?”

Nya looked at him. “If it’s like mine, it should,” she said. “But I can also feel that the power is from the Totem, not myself. When I no longer have it, I won’t be able to assume this form. So it’s not a permanent solution, any more than Faro’s blindfolding is the complete answer for her.”

“Surely true,” Faro agreed. “Still, it’s impressive.”

“I wonder,” Zed said. “Would your Totem enable you to fly without the blindfold?”

“Oh, I wonder too!” Faro said. “And then the Orb could make it permanent.”

“But what really counts for the moment,” Hapless said, “is that now we know how to tame a Totem, assuming music works on the others. That’s a major step.”

“It is,” Nya said. She reverted to her naga form. “I think I need to rest a while to assimilate this development.”

“We’ll camp here now,” Hapless decided. “So we can all ponder.”

But it was not a great campsite. There was nothing to eat, and no trees with pillows or bedding. New grass was growing rapidly, but it was dry, and probably would be burned off again in an hour or so. It seemed likely to be a nervous and hungry night.

Nya perked up. “The Totem can help,” she said.

“How?” Hapless asked sourly.

“There’s a den below the rocks where Fiery Faun lives when he’s off-duty. As possessor of the Fire Totem I have the right to use it.” She smiled. “Fiery is hardly pleased, but is obliged to help me.”

“Can we trust this?” Feline asked suspiciously.

“Yes. It seems that Fiery won a good burn site with a nice den by signing up for the draft registry. That means he could be drafted at any time for Totem duty. He figured it would never happen, because there hasn’t been a draft for a century. But now it did, and he’s stuck for it. If he doesn’t cooperate fully he could be fired, that is dishonorably discharged, and that would be a blot on his record he would never live down. So he has not only to do it, but to do it in a way that satisfies me, because my report will make all the difference. A good report will give him an honorable discharge and he’ll be able to retire in comfort early. So this Totem service can help him or hurt him and he knows it. He will do his absolute best to please me. He can see into my mind now, and knows that I am completely committed to the Quest, so now he is too.”

“Well, now,” Feline said, satisfied.

But Zed wasn’t. “What about the other members of the Quest? Will he try to mess us up?”

“No. He doesn’t have to serve you, only me, but if he does anything to mess up the Quest, he’s in violation. So he will leave you alone, unless I give him a specific order. And of course your own Totems will be similarly committed to you, when you have them.”

“Let’s see this den,” Faro said.

Nya slithered around the rock pile. “There,” she said, indicating a particular rock.

Hapless went to heave it out of the way. Behind it was a hole to a tunnel below the pile. It was big enough for a man to crawl through, but not a centaur.

“We’ll stay above,” Faro said. “We don’t need a den.”

“We don’t,” Zed agreed. He seemed pleased to have this chance to be with Faro, alone.

“Let me check it,” Nya said. “I’m experienced with subterranean passages, and I have the Totem.” She slid into the tunnel.

“I’ll follow,” Quin said, assuming dragon form and slithering after her.

Feline shifted to cat form and followed.

Finally Hapless went. He had to proceed bent over, but soon the tunnel widened and deepened and he was able to walk upright. He came into what appeared to be a living room chamber. He caught up to the others, who had halted.

There, facing them, was another fire faun. This one was female and quite nicely shaped beneath her flames. Her long red hair curled down around her bare body. She had cute little horns and dainty hooves. “Darn!” she swore.

“We—” Nya started.

“You drafted Fiery,” the faun femme said bitterly. “Now he’ll have to serve as a Totem maybe for weeks until you finish your stupid Quest.”

“Yes,” Nya said. “Then we’ll let him go.”

“That doesn’t solve my problem.”

Nya took passing stock. “What is your problem?”

“The big Fire Fandango is tonight. We were all set to dance up a firestorm. Now that’s ruined. Why couldn’t you have had your Quest some other time?”

Nya was taken aback. “We didn’t realize—”

“Now how am I going to dance for the prize? I can’t do it without a partner.”

Feline changed to human form. “I may have heard of this,” she said.

The faun looked at her. “What’s it to you, cat woman?”

“The dance can be any two people, right? It doesn’t have to be just man and woman.”

“Well, yes, but I practiced with Fiery. I can’t get another partner, male or female, on such short notice.”

“Hapless will take you to the dance,” Feline said.

Hapless was startled “What?”

“We messed up her dance performance,” Feline said. “We should make it up to her before we move on.”

“But—but I don’t know the first thing about the fandango. Or the second or third thing.”

“You’ll take the Totem. Then you’ll know. It will also protect you from the fire.”

“Now that might work,” the faun said. “Hello, Hapless. I’m Fiera.”

“But—”

“Then it’s decided,” Feline said. “I’ll come too.”

“Wait!” Hapless said. “Don’t fandango dancers have to play the castanets?”

“How did you know that?” Feline asked.

“That’s the fourth thing,” Hapless said. “They’re little finger clickers, but considered musical instruments. I can conjure them, but can’t use them.”

“Exactly,” Feline said. “That’s why I have to come too.”

“I’m not making any sense of this,” he said.

“Here is the sense of it,” Feline said patiently. “You take her to the dance. You conjure the castanets. You dance, I’ll play them.”