xanth 40 - isis orb (12 page)

“Pigeon?” Hapless asked. “Bird talk for the big bird?”

“Pidgin,” Zed said with authority. “That is a brutally simplified language that occurs when folk of different languages need to communicate. Drastically reduced vocabulary and syntax. Sometimes a pidgin will evolve into its own language, called a creole, which is more sophisticated.”

“Oh.” Hapless felt ignorant, again.

The dragon issued a smoky hiss. The approaching roc responded with a raucous cry. The naga reappeared. “Rocky says I have one minute to vacate before he drops the nest into the sea.”

“But why?” Zed asked. “If you haven’t done anything?”

“He didn’t say. He’s just mad. He called me ‘burn breath.’ You can’t argue with an angry roc. Especially not in pidgin. We have to vacate.”

“Can you carry us?” Hapless asked.

“I’m not that big a dragon. I could carry a cat, and maybe a human for a short distance slanting down, but not a centaur.”

“Could we stay in the nest, then swim to shore after it lands in the sea?”

“No. It is securely anchored to the crag, and hauling it off that will destroy it. Only fragments will reach the sea.”

“So we’re doomed if we don’t repel the roc,” Hapless concluded.

“I’m sorry. I’ll take man and cat to the forest floor, but I can’t help the centaur.”

Feline caught Hapless’s eye. “Play your music. Loud.”

He nodded. “There may be a way. Clear the center.”

“I don’t follow,” Nya said, perplexed.

“Just do it,” Hapless said. “Trust me.”

They squeezed to the edge of the nest as the roc looked close, the draft of his wings blasting them. As a huge taloned foot reached out to clutch the entire nest, Hapless conjured an organ. It filled the center with its standing keyboard and surrounding pipes, leaving little room for them. He sat at its keyboard and jammed both hands on the keys. “Cover your ears!”

The talons closed on them as the others put hands on their ears. Then a horrendous sound blasted out from the vibrating pipes, like a sick whale with a very bad hiccup. BLUURBST!!

The roc rocked back as if struck, which actually was the case. The sound was utterly awful, blown on the winds from the pipes. He tumbled down out of control before spreading his wings and catching the air again. He spiraled back up toward the nest.

Hapless played another chord. HOOHARGH!! It sounded like nausea deluxe being scratched on a severely broken blackboard.

The roc shuddered, but this time did not go out of control.

“Tell Rocky we’ll play a whole symphony if he comes close,” Feline said with a certain satisfaction.

Nya went dragon again and hissed. The roc cocked his head but did not retreat.

“Let’s try the positive next,” Zed suggested. “Tell Rocky we’ll eschew the bad sound if he behaves.”

The dragon hissed again. The roc hesitated.

“Let’s give Rocky a sample,” Zed said. “Tell him we’ll play him some nice music, so he knows the alternative.”

The dragon hissed once more. This time the roc responded with a caw.

The naga reappeared. “He says he’ll listen briefly, before he braves the awfulness again.” She reverted to dragon form.

“Let’s do it,” Zed said. “This is our chance to be positive.”

The roc squawked once more. This hardly required translation: “This better be good.”

The naga form reappeared, complete with harmonica. Feline and Zed found their instruments. “What music?” Nya asked.

“Rock music, of course,” Zed said.

They played a rock symphony. To Hapless it sounded rather violent, but it was way better than his organ rendition.

And the roc was charmed. He squawked approvingly. Music had again soothed the savage breast or beast.

They had negotiated the crisis. Hapless abolished the organ. The others continued their serenade. When it concluded, the roc did not attack.

“Best to find out why Rocky was angry,” Zed said. “So we can be sure not to set him off again.”

Nya went back to dragon form and hissed. The roc responded.

She became the naga. “He says the dragons are calling him loathsome. He doesn’t like that.”

“Well, sure,” Zed agreed. “No one likes to be ridiculed. How well we here know that! So it seems he doesn’t want any dragons in his territory.”

“Yes.”

“I wonder. Language can be devious. What is one person’s idiom may be another person’s insult. Pidgin lacks nuances. I suspect a misunderstanding.”

“Dragons do talk,” Nya said.

“I have a notion,” Zed said. “What is pidgin for ‘loathsome’?”

Nya turned dragon and made a hissing sound.

“And what is pidgin for ‘handsome’?”

She made a similar sound.

“Can you tell the difference?” Zed asked Feline and Hapless.

“No,” they said almost together.

“So the dragons could have remarked on the handsome roc, but the translation sounded like the loathsome roc.”

Nya, still in dragon form, nodded. She hissed again to the roc. They heard the two similar words again as she made the point.

The roc looked taken aback. Then he spun about in air and departed.

The naga returned. “That was it! He concedes it was probably a confusion. We’re safe.” Then she looked at Zed. “You’re smart.”

“I am a normal centaur, apart from my coloration. We practice sensible thinking.”

“I know. As I said, I respect centaurs.” She paused. “I think I need to go fetch your box now. It should be lodged in a crevice not far down.”

“That would be nice,” Hapless agreed. He had really come to depend on the box, which he realized might not be best. But he wanted to get along with the box remaining as an option, so he could think outside or inside it.

Nya turned dragon and launched into the air. In two thirds of a moment she was flying below the nest.

“We functioned as a team,” Feline said. “But I hope we don’t have to do anything like that again soon.”

“I’ll try to take better care of the box,” Hapless promised. “I don’t know what shape the path is in.”

“It should still be there,” Zed said. “If the path ends at the box, which our experience indicates, we remain on it, and it terminates below us.”

They peered down into the gloom. Now Hapless saw the faint outline of the path dropping down. The centaur was correct.

“But if the path hasn’t terminated, why were we vulnerable to the roc?” Hapless asked, confused.

“You did not actually touch Nya,” Zed said. “So a bit of the path remained. But we stepped off it, going to the sides of the nest. So we weren’t safe.”

“That makes sense,” Feline agreed.

In another moment and a third Nya was back with the box held delicately in her mouth. She dropped it into the nest then changed. “I think I can wait until morning to see into that box,” she said. “I have had enough adventure for today.”

Hapless picked up the box, immensely relieved. “Yes.”

The others were glad to agree. The nest seemed safe enough, now that the roc was gone. Nya dug out a blanket from an alcove, and Hapless shared it with Feline in human form. Zed remained standing, as usual, while Nya curled up in dragon form to sleep.

Hapless remained disturbed by his slip with the box. “I got us all in trouble,” he murmured.

“And helped get us out of it,” she replied. “That was lovely dissonance with the organ. Rather, a loathsome sound. I almost puked.”

“Still, I should have—”

She shut him up with a kiss. “Now go to sleep.”

What choice did he have? If he argued further she might assume cat form and ignore him. He much preferred her human form, especially when it was right up against him. He slept.

He woke in the night. “You’re dreaming of me,” Feline said accusingly. “I can tell.”

He didn’t dare ask how she could tell. “Uh, yes. Sorry.”

She laughed. “That’s okay. It’s natural, since you’re wedged against me. See that you don’t dream of any other woman.”

Was she teasing him? “I’ll try.”

They returned to sleep. He absolutely loved the way she nestled against him. If only they didn’t both know that he was destined to have one or two more girlfriends. Until that situation was resolved, he couldn’t commit to her.

Hapless woke as the first beam of dawn splashed across the nest. Feline remained asleep, lovely in her dishevelment, including her striped hair. “I wish you were my girlfriend for real, you lovely creature,” he whispered.

Her eyes popped open. “I heard that.”

Bleep. “I should have kept my mouth shut,” he said, embarrassed.

“You’re still enamored of my curves.”

He could not deny it. Her curves fascinated him. “Yes.”

“You’re not even bothering to lie about it,” she said accusingly.

That was somehow worse. “Sorry about that.”

“Not even to get what you want of me, in your dreams.”

“Yes,” he repeated, ashamed.

“I’m not sure you
can
lie, about anything.”

She was nailing him. “That’s true.”

“So when, if ever, you tell me you love me for something else, I’ll know it’s the truth.”

“Yes.” He already liked her a lot, but he couldn’t swear it was exclusive of her curves.

She gazed at him a moment longer. “You’re hopeless.”

Now at last he could disagree, albeit with a smile. “No, I’m Hapless.”

“You are. You think I’m mad at you.”

“Yes.”

“Well, I’m not.” She kissed him. “Now let’s get on with the day.”

Not? How he wished he could be sure of that!

“That was an interesting sequence,” Nya remarked.

“Extremely,” Zed agreed.

Hapless blushed, remembering that there really was no privacy in the togetherness of the nest. Then he saw that Feline was blushing too. That made up for a lot.

Chapter 6:

Quin

They washed, breakfasted, and made ready to go. “I think I’m through with this nest,” Nya said. “I doubt we’ll be returning this way.”

“Not if we achieve our wishes,” Zed said.

“So I’ll shut it down and donate it to Rocky Roc. He can use it to safely store incidentals.”

“But you just had a fight with him,” Hapless protested.

“He yielded graciously. He’s not a bad bird.” She shifted to dragon form and emitted a loud hiss.

There was an answering squawk from far away.

The naga returned. “He appreciates the gesture,” she said.

Hapless made a mental note: Nya did not hold grudges. He liked that.

She turned to him. “You were about to show me the box last night when we were rudely interrupted. Shall we try again?”

She wasn’t blaming him for the mishap, either. He liked that too.

“Let’s,” Feline said a bit tightly. She evidently misconstrued the nature of his gaze. He hastily removed it from Nya’s front.

Now Hapless carefully brought out the box and opened it. As he did so, the faint outline that connected the box to Nya disappeared; that path was gone. There was a picture of a dragon with a human head and bird’s wings on the forepart. The word was QUIN. “What’s that?” he asked.

“Another crossbreed,” Nya said. “It looks like Dragon/harpy.”

“You should find him interesting,” Feline said.

“I do. We evidently share dragon ancestry. But what counts more is his personality.”

“Always,” Feline agreed.

“Look at that path!” Zed exclaimed.

Now the others looked. The path led from the nest straight out into air, faintly glowing. It resembled a long narrow bridge, but it had no supports below or cables above. It just proceeded, going into the distance in a straight line, far above the ground.

“Can it support our weight?” Zed asked. He meant
his
weight; he was the heaviest of the Companions.

“We’ll just have to see,” Hapless said. Assuming an air (awkward word in this context) of greater confidence than he felt, he stepped out on the aerial way.

“Wait!” Feline said. “You can’t go first.”

He paused. “I can’t?”

“You carry the box, and the path ends at the box, remember? You have to go last, or you’ll strand the rest of us here.”

She was right. “Sorry.” He stepped back.

Feline tried it, looking as if she were ready to switch to cat form the moment the path let her down. But it remained firm; it supported her. The footing was invisible yet solid.

Nya was next, in her naga form. She slithered gracefully along it, and it supported her too.

Then Zed set hoof on it. It held. He tried another, and it remained firm. Then the rear hooves. It held his full weight. “I can’t say I’m completely easy with this,” he said. “But neither can I fault it. It does the job.”

Finally Hapless got on it. He glanced back, and regretted it, because the path no longer existed behind him. There was just a gap of air separating him from the nest. Could he fall into it? He decided to face resolutely forward, avoiding the issue.

They walked on in single file, though the path was broad enough for two. Where was it going? Regardless, they were committed.

Rocky Roc returned. He did a double-take.

Nya shifted to dragon form and hissed. The roc nodded. Then, evidently curious, he flew to the path ahead of them—and sheared off, unable to cross it. The enchantment prevented any overlap.

Nya hissed again. Rocky nodded again, and flew on to inspect the nest he had inherited. It was too small for him to perch on, but certainly could be useful to cache items. He was clearly pleased.

They picked up speed, preferring to get through this stage of the journey efficiently. The scenery spread out beneath them. At one point they passed over a moderate mountain with a goblin mound at its top, only a short distance below them. The goblins spied them and looked up in wonder as they passed. The males froze in place until the females bopped them on their heads, making them stir. One female shook her fist at them.

“Well, they shouldn’t look,” Feline snapped.

Oh. The males had peeked up under her skirt and gotten smitten by the sight of her panties. It did serve them right. Feline could have avoided the issue by assuming cat form, but evidently preferred to assert her power to walk where and how she chose.