Written in the Stars (27 page)

Chapter Thirty One

As they made to leave Mr Duncan’s office, Steve stood aside for Suzi to pass through the doorway first, but then he turned back when the solicitor called out for him to confirm the name of his hotel. Although he hurried, by the time he reached the reception area, she was nowhere in sight. He rushed outside only to see the tail end of her car disappearing around the corner.

‘Oh, well, if that’s how she wants to behave, so be it,’ he muttered angrily. ‘That’s three out of three. At least she could have had the decency to pass the time of day.’

The rest of the day Steve spent wandering around Cardiff, feeling quite at a loss as to why Suzi had not wanted to talk to him. He was most disturbed that he had allowed this to affect him so deeply. At one point he even considered telephoning her to remind her that he had saved her life when she fell off the boat. But he changed his mind: if she didn’t know it was he who had saved her, she would wonder what he was on about.

Not worth the hassle,’ he murmured. He reasoned that she must know what had happened, because he was convinced that Lloyd would have discussed their conversation with his wife. And he was sure Charlize would have told her what he said. Evidently, she doesn’t feel the same way about things now.

After a restless night at the hotel, he checked with the receptionist several times during the morning, but there was no message from Duncan. Unwilling to idle away another day in Cardiff, Steve caught an early train to London, and wandered around the city. A chance cancellation at the Windmill Theatre provided the opportunity to see the world-famous play ‘The Mousetrap’. He enjoyed the show and returned to Wales that evening in a better frame of mind.

It was late the next morning before he received word from Duncan that the documents were ready to sign. When he enquired if Suzi would attend at the same time, the man said she had asked for an appointment later in the day. Steve breathed a sigh of relief, because he had no desire to repeat the atmosphere of the previous meeting.

Duncan thanked him profusely as he left, and assured Steve that he would be only too willing to represent him in any further negotiations. When he returned to the hotel, Steve checked to see if there were any phone messages for him and felt relieved that there was none. Although he desperately wanted to clear the air with Suzi, he had convinced himself that she would not want to listen to what he had to say. In the end he decided to apply his golden rule to the situation.

‘What’s finished, is finished,’ he muttered, but he felt saddened that it had turned out the way it had done. Then he asked himself why he had expected her to have any feelings for him. Maybe she had seen their time together as just one of those things that happened when a man and woman are thrown together by circumstances; circumstances that generate compassion.

He had plenty of time to spare before the flight departed so he spent some time in the comfortable lounge. As he sat sipping a coffee, he still felt the need to tell her why he had decided to travel to Britain rather than act through his solicitor in Auckland, and he wondered if he should write to her. And then there was other matter. He was convinced that Lloyd, through Charlize, had relayed his version of the events that had taken place in Queensland. But more importantly, he needed to salve his own conscience.

After buying a writing pad and stamped envelope in the concourse he settled down under an ornamental palm. His thoughts flowed once he set pen to paper. He wrote about his peculiar relationship with Kirsty and how he had tried to cope with the trauma of her untimely death. He mentioned about how he had wrestled with the idea of forgetting about Caxton Manor and even considered signing his half of the inheritance over to her. He closed by saying how much he regretted not having declared his feelings for her, and that he wanted her to know that even though their time together had been brief, she still occupied a very special place in his heart.

He read the letter a couple of times, unsure whether to sign and seal the envelope or tear it up. For what seemed an interminable age he sat, pen poised, in agonising indecision. Then he looked up to see an elderly woman on the next seat watching closely. She reached over and touched his arm lightly.

‘Send it anyway,’ she urged him. ‘If nothing comes of it, you have lost nothing, but you will have been true to yourself.’

Her earnest look convinced Steve that she was right.

‘Okay,’ he said, with a smile. ‘I’ll take your advice.’

As he posted the letter, Steve felt a sense of achievement. Whether Suzi responded or not wouldn’t matter now; he had declared his love, and that was enough.

The return flight was far more enjoyable, and he stepped off the plane with a great feeling of contentment. It did not matter what happened to Caxton Manor in the future, because he had hinted to Duncan that if there were any disagreement about the current arrangement, he would deed his half share over to Suzi Lysle Spencer. As far as he was concerned, he could consign it all to the past, or even treat it as if it had never happened.

*

Suzi had difficulty seeing through her tears as she drove away from The Stow Restaurant. She almost stumbled into the manor as Eileen opened the door and went straight to her room without saying a word. It took some time for her to regain her composure, and when she finally came downstairs, Eileen had a cup of tea waiting for her.

‘Are you all right, dear?’ the woman asked, in a concerned voice.

‘I’ll be okay,’ Suzi replied. ‘I’ve just had a bit of a shock, that’s all.’

‘Would you like to talk about it? Sometimes it’s better to get it out of your system.’

Over the next half-hour Eileen coaxed Suzi to unburden herself. She made no comment as she listened to the story of love found and lost again. She listened sympathetically at how disappointed Suzi had been over not being able to turn Caxton Manor into a reception venue, and finally, she listened patiently to the distressing story of the loss of the restaurant. As she came to the end of her narrative, Suzi burst into tears again.

‘I’ve got nothing now,’ she sobbed, ‘I’ve signed the manor away. The restaurant’s gone. My dearest friend is thousands of miles away in New Zealand and I have no one to turn to.’

‘How long before you have to vacate the premises?’ Eileen asked.

‘I’ve agreed to move out at the end of the month.’ Suzi dabbed her eyes dry. ‘It’s just as well that I still have my little bungalow to go back to, but that is leased out for a year. I’ll have to work out what to put into storage and what to sell.’ She grasped the older woman’s hand. ‘But there’s good news for you. The company who are leasing this building have agreed to consider you as live-in housekeeper, if you want the job.’ She pulled a business card from her handbag. ‘Here it is. Give them a ring now and see what they offer.’

Eileen came back from the phone with a broad smile on her face, and related her conversation with the personnel officer. The company had agreed to her status in the house, the rooms she could occupy, and a monthly wage. It was a wonderful opportunity, but she lamented the fact that it had come about at Suzi’s expense.

‘If things had gone the way you had planned, I’d be still be in a bed-sit,’ she said, quietly. ‘And now I’ve got a lovely home. And you’ve got nothing.’

‘It doesn’t matter,’ Suzi said, in a brave attempt to be cheerful. ‘I can always start again, but you deserve a break after all the hard knocks you’ve suffered.’ She kissed the woman’s cheek. ‘I’m happy for you.’

After Suzi had signed the lease documents, Duncan shook her hand warmly and repeated the promise he had made to Steve. When she returned home, Eileen said she had arranged for some large cardboard packing cases to be collected from a nearby industrial estate. She had begun to clear out one of the outhouses and suggested that Suzi’s things could be stored there until she had found another place for them.

‘There’s no need to spend money on storage if you don’t have to,’ she said, firmly. ‘And if you want anything in a hurry, I can find it for you.’

That evening Suzi phoned Charlize and related the events of the past few days.

‘Where are you going to live?’

‘I’ll find somewhere, don’t worry. Between everything, I’ve got enough money for that now.’

‘It’s a pity you’ve leased your house. If you’d known that Mark was going to buy your share of the business…’ She stopped short of completing the sentence.

‘Yes, I know, but it’s easy to be wise in hindsight, isn’t it?’

‘Well the first thing you should do is come over for a visit,’ Charlize said, in a voice that brooked no argument. ‘Lloyd’s mother has two or three spare rooms and said she’d be happy to put you up for a few weeks.

‘I’ll think about it, okay?

‘No, don’t think about it, ring up and book a flight now.’

The sound of footsteps crunching on the gravel driveway preceded the deep chime of the front doorbell. Suzi said a hurried goodbye to her friend and hung up. The postman needed her signature for a registered package. After he had gone, she made some coffee and carried it out into the garden. She had only just sat down on a bench when she heard the sound of Aub’s old Granada chugging up the drive. Seeing her there, he parked it under the copper beech and sauntered over to where she sat.

‘Looks as if I’m just in time for a cuppa.’ His face crinkled into a grin as he gestured at the mug in her hand. Then he put out a restraining hand. ‘No, no, I’m teasing; I can wait until you’ve finished.’

‘Nonsense. I’ll get it for you now, because I’ve something to tell you.’ When she returned with his coffee, Suzi handed him Gillam’s business card and explained that she was vacating the manor within a few weeks. ‘They’ll need someone to look after the garden, so it might pay you to give him a ring.’

By the time she had answered Aub’s queries about the new tenants, and tried to parry his questions about her plans, she was close to tears again. It seemed that whenever she talked about her situation she became overwhelmed with emotion. Rather than continue the conversation, she made an excuse to let him get on with the work, but the negative thoughts would not go away. Now, Charlize’s suggestion to visit her seemed more attractive by the minute.
Yes
, she decided,
I’ll go as soon as I feel good enough to travel
.

Suzi walked back into the house and picked up the bundle of mail that she had dumped on the hall table. She found a comfortable chair in the study, and sifted through them. One letter stood out from all the others. The envelope bore the imprint of Heathrow Airport, and was simply addressed: Suzi Lysle Spencer, Caxton Manor. She tore it open with trembling fingers, and read the first few words aloud.

My dearest Suzi
,

I am not sure whether I should be writing this letter
.
It seems as though things couldn’t get any worse than they are right now
,
so it might be better if I get everything off my chest
.

Her eyes filled with tears as she continued to read. Twice the letter slipped from her fingers as she stopped to consider what was written there. By the time she reached the last paragraph, it was quite obvious many of her own thoughts had been echoed here. The final words leapt out from the page:

I don’t know why I felt so threatened
,
or why we were so hostile to each other at Mr Duncan’s office
.
It is hard to accept that there may be a reason behind it all
,
but they say that nothing happens by chance
.
I wonder why things can’t be more straight forward
.

More tears sprang to her eyes, as she read the bottom line.

No matter what happens
,
I will always remember you as someone I could have loved for a lifetime with the whole of my being.

Suzi bit her bottom lip as she recalled her nonchalant replies to his questions, and his reaction to her terse words. Why had she been so off-hand with him? He had every reason to be upset. She had eventually realised he had been the man who saved her life, and she had not even thanked him for pulling her out of the pale green waters of the Whitsunday Passage. But at least now she knew that he had made every effort to find her afterwards.

Still clutching the letter in her hand, she wandered into a secluded part of the garden and dropped down onto a bench-seat. Her thoughts swung from one extreme to the other as she considered what to do. Maybe Charlize had the right idea; maybe she could move to New Zealand, and open a restaurant there, and… and… invite more heartache? No—she shook her head at the thought.

She was still staring into space when Eileen found her an hour later. The woman had seen the crumpled envelope on the floor of the study and had gone looking for her.

‘Are you all right, dear?’ she asked, softly. When she saw Suzi’s tearstained face and swollen eyes, she pointed to the letter in her hand. ‘I hope it’s not bad news.’

‘Good… and bad,’ Suzi replied with a deep sigh.

Once again, Eileen coaxed her to share her feelings, and when Suzi had finished, she advised her to let things settle in her mind before making a decision about her future.

‘Only fools and the dead don’t change their minds,’ she counselled. ‘It’s an enormous decision to make, so don’t be in too much of a hurry. Wait until you can think more clearly about things. You have to be quite certain in your mind about such important matters.’ She grasped Suzi’s hand. ‘Come on, I’ll make a pot of tea then we can get on with the packing. Keep busy that’s the best idea; it’ll take your mind off things.’