Writing the TV Drama Series 3rd Edition: How to Succeed as a Professional Writer in TV (19 page)

Clearly, this is what we’re calling the “A” story, so if you’re doing the grid, put “A” in the first box in Act I.

Scene 2

In #7 the “B” story begins, and it would be routine police work at a crime scene except that we bring to it another level: the underlying jousting between Sipowicz and Simone. Clearly, the scene has three main components: first, the rising tension as they discover Martarano is “a mobbed-up stiff;” second, a guest character who leads the detectives to the next beat in their search. That construction might be flat, but the end of the scene is the third “beat,” which spins the action in a new direction with the surprising shouts for help from Miss Savino. (On the grid, put “B” in the second square.)

Scene 3

#8 is an additional scene from the “B” story. You see, it’s not necessary to checkerboard the order of these; more important to follow the line of audience interest. And that leads directly to the twist in this scene that raises unexpected questions about the crime. As in any mystery, the audience doesn’t know which clues to value and which are red herrings, and neither do our characters — that’s part of the fun of the genre. (“B” goes in the third square.)

Scene 4

Why bother with an establishing shot of the Precinct in #9? Think of a reason before I tell you. Okay, here are a few: It helps re-orient viewers to “home base” after several beats in the field; it signals the beginning of a new sequence; and it creates an ellipsis — that is, an impression time has passed — so that characters who appeared in one beat are separated from their reappearance in a next beat when they couldn’t have actually traveled that quickly.

Why does the episode return to the “C” story in #10? It’s not as if this beat that runs less than a minute advances the plot in an important way, so why bother? I recommend that you take a shot at questions like that because they stretch your writing muscles, even though I can’t hear your responses. A few answers: It keeps that “C” story alive in viewers’ minds, especially since it won’t return until Act Two; it raises tension about Lesniak’s state and invests us in her emotional challenge; and it delivers some information that was left unresolved in the teaser. On this last point, no scene should be written for exposition only. If you need to communicate facts, set them within an emotional context, as happens here. (Write “C” in the fourth square on the grid.)

Scene 5

Notice that the next scene is set apart merely by an Angle within the same time and place and doesn’t have a new slug line such as “INT. SQUAD ROOM — DAY.” You couldn’t use INT. SQUAD ROOM anyway because it belonged to Scene 4, so “Angle” — which is a literary device, and doesn’t intend to tell the director which angle to shoot — flags that this is a new story beat.

#11 lasts almost three pages — a little long when the material has no external action. What’s actually going on? Well, first you need to know that Sylvia Costas, the Assistant D.A., is Sipowicz’ girlfriend (and in later episodes becomes his wife). Costas is beautiful, sophisticated, intelligent — a step up for Andy Sipowicz. She loves him, though, and tries to help, even if he’s too proud to accept advice. Now picture the smooth, attractive, newly arrived Bobby Simone in the same room. With those dynamics in mind, re-read this scene.

Look for Sipowicz’ motive, his vain efforts to knock down Simone, Costas’ curiosity about Simone, and how the implied threat of her interest results in lines that don’t seem to be about much at all while we can almost feel Sipowicz boiling underneath. Obviously, this is the “A” story, so “A” goes in the fifth square.

Scene 6

#12 and #13 together make up Scene 6, which returns to the “B” story by introducing Paula, a guest star who may have the secret to the murder. Using resistance to the cops as they enter the showroom, and Paula’s reluctance to reveal what she knows, the scene builds conflict.

This takes us to the end of Act One, which ought to be a cliffhanger. The anticipation of more unexpected turns in the Martarano case might generate the kind of dramatic tension to keep an audience through the commercial break. However, this is not such a tremendous act ender, though the “B” story has certainly been advanced. I think what holds viewers to this episode is the arrival of Bobby Simone and curiosity about how he’ll affect the whole series.

After you write “B” in the box for Scene 6, you’ll notice that the number of scenes in Act One doesn’t go to 7. That doesn’t matter. And if you add the two scenes in the teaser to these 6, that’s actually 8 scenes within the first 14 minutes or so. In the original script, Act One was 16 pages, including the teaser, and set three stories in motion, so it certainly accomplished a lot of storytelling.

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Four years later, the “long narrative” of the many-faceted relationship between Sipowicz and Simone comes to a close with Simone’s death. “Hearts and Souls” (Story by Steven Bochco & David Milch & Bill Clark; Teleplay by Nicholas Wootton) stretched the boundaries of episodic television as it followed Simone through a kaleidoscope of flashbacks to the afterlife, delivering an emotional and spiritual dimension rarely seen on screen.

In the Teaser and Act One we’ll observe the interplay of comedy and tragedy and a gradual build of suspense before the show takes its surprising turns in Acts Two, Three, and Four. Read it before moving on to the analysis.

NYPD Blue

“Hearts and Souls”

FADE IN:

1   EXT. HOSPITAL - MORNING          1

To establish --

2   INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM - MORNING          2

Present are SIPOWICZ, KIRKENDALL and MARTINEZ. Given the configuration of the room and its proximity to the door exiting the Cardiac Care Unit, Martinez has the prime vantage point for viewing Simone’s departure and waving greeting, this to Sipowicz’ simmering chagrin. After a beat --

SIPOWICZ

You’re gonna monopolize that position?

MARTINEZ

(defensive)

I didn’t see anything yet.

KIRKENDALL

(to Sipowicz)

He wants to wave to Bobby.

SIPOWICZ

That’s why we’re all here Martinez.

MARTINEZ

Andy, I ain’t moving.

KIRKENDALL

I brought a harness so I could dangle from the ceiling.

SIPOWICZ

Yeah, that’s funny.

Medavoy’s just arrived in a mood of happy anticipation.

MEDAVOY

I take it the grand departure hasn’t taken place yet?

KIRKENDALL

Hey Greg.

Sipowicz looks away, disgruntled. Medavoy surveys the room.

MEDAVOY

You’re in the garden spot, huh James? Greet Bobby without exposing him to any bugs.

SIPOWICZ

Yeah, he came ‘two in the morning with a pup tent.

Martinez snorts at Sipowicz. Medavoy remains sanguine --

MEDAVOY

Plenty of good spots.

Sipowicz paces. Off which --

CUT TO:

3   INT. SIMONE’S HOSPITAL ROOM - MORNING          3

SIMONE is sitting in a chair. His pants and shoes are on. Emaciated from his illness, Simone swims in the shirt RUSSELL is carefully buttoning. Russell, in whom we identify excitement layered over physical and nervous exhaustion, studies her husband with a hovering solicitude.

SIMONE

Are you done?

RUSSELL

Am I hurting you?

SIMONE

No no.

RUSSELL

One more.

(completing her task)

You’ve got like a little drainage, I wanted to go slow buttoning over the bandage.

SIMONE

Now I’m going to lean back a second.

RUSSELL

You set the schedule Bobby.

He tries to manage a smile of reassurance.

SIMONE

Not used to all this action.

She forces a smile in return, watches as he privately tries to measure his feeling of growing malaise. After a beat --

RUSSELL

Dr. Swan said you might get a little drainage from your stitches.

SIMONE

Was my bandage wet?

RUSSELL

No, it was a little yellow drainage.

Simone nods. After a beat --

RUSSELL (CONT’D)

I wonder where Dr. Swan is.

SIMONE

We got time.

RUSSELL

It’s just he was supposed to discharge you twenty minutes ago,

Simone closes his eyes. Though Russell has tried to sound as if she’s dealing with a minor irritation, in fact she’s growingly, irrationally afraid that if they don’t leave soon they’re not going to be able to leave at all.

CUT TO:

4   INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM - MORNING          4

Sipowicz has conceived an excuse to improve his position --

SIPOWICZ

I’m going to make a phone call.

KIRKENDALL

You want the cellphone?

SIPOWICZ

(shakes his head no)

Personal, I better use the payphone.

He heads out. The others watch.

MEDAVOY

(admiring amusement)

You know what Andy’s doing, James? He’s improving his position.

MARTINEZ

(nods)

He could lose five years from his pension, making that lame an excuse.

Sipowicz has reached the phones. DR. SWAN exits the elevators, moves past. Sipowicz, feigning dismay at discovering he lacks the proper change, keeps his head down, re-examining this phenomenon as he moves toward the Nurses Station.

CUT TO:

5   INT. SIMONE’S HOSPITAL ROOM - MORNING          5

Simone and Russell react as Dr. Swan enters, utters his standard discharge line.

DR. SWAN

Understand you want to get out of here this morning.

SIMONE

Absolutely.

RUSSELL

Bobby has a little drainage on his bandage.

DR. SWAN

(nods, not overly concerned)

Some of your stitches may be slow in absorbing.

SIMONE

Diane was saying.

Russell emulates Dr. Swan’s tone of unconcern.

RUSSELL

He just has a little yellow drainage.

DR. SWAN

Let’s have a look.

Dr. Swan keeps his tone casual, though in his lexicon “yellow drainage” translates “big trouble.” He begins unbuttoning Simone’s shirt. Simone fills this silence --

SIMONE

Diane’s talking about hanging her shingle out ‘her time off The Job.

DR. SWAN

Good, I’m looking for an associate.

Dr. Swan’s undone Simone’s shirt, does his best to dissemble his reaction on noting a spreading stain on Simone’s bandage made by yellow pus seeping from his incision.

DR. SWAN (CONT’D)

You do have some drainage.

RUSSELL

From his stitches dissolving?

Dr. Swan keeps his voice neutral -- as if discussing an interesting chess problem --

DR. SWAN

I’m not sure. I’m going to use a little Q-tip, check Bobby’s incision.

The camera positions itself consistent with beginning a discrete revelation of Simone’s incision as Dr Swan removes the bandage. Off which --

CUT TO:

6   INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE SIMONE’S ROOM - MORNING          6

Sipowicz has inched forward to the Nurses Station, glances back one last time to see if he’s under scrutiny from his colleagues, then takes the last few steps necessary to gain a view of Simone’s room, reacting with sickened shock on seeing Russell and Dr. Swan helping Simone back into his bed.

The eyes of the two partners meet. Sipowicz puts up his hand to Simone, waves weakly; Simone nods acknowledgement as Sipowicz moves back to the Waiting Area.

CUT TO:

7   INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM - MORNING          7

Medavoy spots Sipowicz coming out the closed door of the c.c.u.

MEDAVOY

(almost chortles)

To Andy, rule-obedience is a totally foreign concept. Went up the hall to wave.

Martinez won’t concede his own position’s been supplanted.

MARTINEZ

What I’m here for, watch Bobby enter that elevator.

Sipowicz re-enters.

MEDAVOY

You went to wave to Bobby, didn’t you Andy?

SIPOWICZ

They’re putting him back in bed.

Kirkendall reacts with silent dismay.

MARTINEZ

Is that some temporary precaution?

SIPOWICZ

He don’t look good.

MEDAVOY

He went through major surgery ten days ago Andy.

Kirkendall’s seen Russell approaching.

KIRKENDALL

Hi Diane.

RUSSELL

We have to stay awhile more.

MEDAVOY

(emptily)

Yeah huh?

RUSSELL

Bobby has some wound infection they have to identify. He needs a C.A.T. scan and then they’re going to debride him.

MARTINEZ

Andy said he was lying back down.

Russell nods --

RUSSELL

You should go on to work. I’ll call if there’s any news.

KIRKENDALL

Sure, call when you get a chance.

The Detectives put on their best face when Russell leaves. Before she’s out the door Russell gives a passing half-smile to Sipowicz. A beat. Sipowicz seethes --

SIPOWICZ

(to Martinez)

Want to come back or you want to keep your spot?

They’re all devastated, troop out. Off which --

SMASH CUT TO:

MAIN TITLES

8   EXT. PRECINCT HOUSE - MORNING          8

To establish --

9   INT. SQUAD ROOM - MORNING          9

Sipowicz is the first of the Detectives to return from the hospital. He’s solemn, dour; moving as though weighted; FANCY’s going over materials with DOLORES at her desk; it’s clear they know of Simone’s turn or the worse. As Sipowicz hangs up his coat --

FANCY

Your ex-wife’s here Andy, she’s in the lavatory.

SIPOWICZ

Is she all right?

FANCY

(noncommittal)

Yeah, she seems all right.

Sipowicz nods; even this unexpected information can’t refocus his thoughts.

FANCY (CONT’D)

Did you see him at all?

SIPOWICZ

(nods)