Wrestling With Love (4 page)

Shaking the thoughts from his mind, he turned to George. “Hey. How’s it going?”

“My mom just dragged me to every store in Harvard Square making sure I had all of the necessities for college life.” He had used his fingers as quotation marks when he said the word ‘necessities.’ “I don’t know why she didn’t just go and do the shopping for me. It’s not like I know or care what the thread count of my sheets are or how many pairs of clean underwear and socks I have.”

Derek turned to George. “George, it’s an accepted rule that you should always have at least seven pairs of clean underwear and socks.”

George turned to face Derek. “Man, I think you are an awesome guy, but that was such a fag comment.” Scott burst out laughing.

Blushing, Derek replayed his statement and had to admit George was right. At least he hadn’t remarked about the thread count of sheets. That would have been even worse. “Fine, I’ll give you that. So, are we eating first or swimming?”

Scott and George answered the question by stripping down to their boxers and diving into the pool. Beck turned to Derek. “Boys. They love to jump and hump. Promise me you’ll never become a boy. I love the fact you can just sit around, watching television and talking. We can enjoy each other and let the men do their man things.”

Derek wasn’t sure if he had just been complimented or insulted, but knew what Beck meant so he left it alone. “Beck, I’ll always be there with a good video to watch and Oreos to eat. I promise.” With that, he hopped off the seat, stripped down to his 19

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boxers, and jumped into the pool with Scott and George. Beck walked to the steps at the shallow end and sat at the edge, dipping her feet in the water. For the better part of an hour they hung out in the pool, George and Scott tackling each other as they played basketball and Derek floating idly by the steps chatting with Beck. Once they were thoroughly waterlogged, they hopped out to dry and Beck walked over to the grill and began preparing dinner. Once dressed, George headed over to stand with her.

As they lay out on lounge chairs and relaxed in the hot August sun, Scott glanced around to see where Beck and George were before speaking in a hushed whisper.

“While we were in the pool, George wouldn’t shut up about the sex he has with Beck.”

Derek shuddered, the image of Beck and George together, naked, filling his mind. It wasn’t that George was unappealing. He was a normal looking guy, dark hair, average build, pale skin, sharp features. It was odd to see the two of them together, Beck being larger and George much leaner. With the image of them engaging in various acts of coital bliss, Derek’s body shuddered in disgust. “Eeew, please tell me there’s a reason for that particular overshare.”

Scott shook his head. “Why do you get so skeeved out by the idea of a naked woman?” He held up his hand. “Don’t answer that. The point is, I’m freakin’ horny as hell right now.” He glanced once again to where Beck and George were standing, their backs to the two of them, then looked at Derek. His eyes were smoldering, holding him in a fierce gaze. Reaching to his groin, he grabbed his cock and squeezed, the hardened length obvious under the fabric of his pants.

Feeling his own cock start to grow and lengthen, Derek shifted so he was resting on his side, facing Scott. “Are you saying that you want to…” He was pretty sure his voice trailing off made it obvious what he question was, but Scott remained silent for a moment. “Because if you are, I swear you’re driving me crazy. We had the perfect opportunity in the shower back at my house.”

Finally Scott spoke. “I know I said I want for us to wait until we get to college, but maybe it’s worth the risk.”

Heat flooded through his body and Derek was sure his face had flushed red. “Mom and Dad probably won’t be home until late. Maybe after this we can head back to my place.”

A dreamy expression passed over Scott’s face and Derek could practically see the thoughts as they passed through his mind. Scott’s eyebrows rose slightly, then he shifted his hips, reaching down to readjust himself. Finally, he sucked the plump bottom lip which Derek loved to kiss into his mouth. When he spoke, his voice was soft.

“I want to. But it’s too risky. If your parents came home in the middle of our first time…” He shook his head and closed his eyes.

“Ok, good point. That would certainly ruin our first time. But if we’re going to wait, you’ve got to stop making me go up and down like a flag on a pole. You’ve given me at least five hard-ons today alone.”

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Disappointment filled him. Not only did Scott withhold physical affection except for when they were alone or with Beck, but he was holding off on the sexual connection which Derek had been hungering for throughout the summer. He had masturbated more times than he could remember to the image of tasting Scott’s cum as it shot directly into his mouth, rather than licking it from his hand. And each time he imagined the two of them making love, Scott always on top, he had to take a cold shower just to be able to make a public appearance

As if he sensed Derek’s mood, Scott took his hand and brought it to his lips. “I love you, D. You know it’s not that I don’t want to share intimate experiences with you, but we’re only a couple of weeks away from being at college together. We’ll be living together and have all the time in the world to do everything we want without having to worry about being interrupted or found out.”

The last words caught his attention. “Found out?”

Scott released his hand and placed it over his own eyes. “I didn’t mean it that way and you know it.”

“Then how did you mean it?”

“I just meant…all I was saying…why do you always pick this fight with me? I’m not ready for people to know I’m gay. If I were, do you think I’d keep us a secret? I love you, but you have to understand I can’t force my feelings.”

Derek knew he was right, but his stubbornness prevented him from letting go of the argument. “What if I don’t know how you feel? If you really loved me, wouldn’t you want the world to know?”

“Come on. You don’t really believe that, do you?”

Derek stared at him, ready to continue arguing, but one look at his earnest expression and the genuine emotion flowing toward him melted his resolve. He knew Scott loved him and he knew just as equally that wanting to keep his sexuality guarded was no indication of his feelings for him.

“No. I don’t.” Staring into Scott’s sincere and loving eyes, Derek knew the time was perfect. “Be right back.” Hopping up, he gave Scott a quick peck on the cheek and ran to his bag. When he came back, he excitedly extended his hand which contained the white envelope with Scott’s gift. Scott’s crinkled brow and cocked head clearly revealed his confusion and caused Derek to laugh. “I finally got you your graduation present. I hope you like it.” Handing the envelope over, he sat on the edge of the chair, waiting expectantly as Scott turned it over in his hands.

Scott sat up. “Derek, you didn’t have to do that. I know you said you felt bad about not getting me a graduation gift, but you shouldn’t have. I told you at your graduation party that your love was the greatest gift you could give me. Just being with you and knowing that you’re there for me is better than anything you could give me, especially since I’ve moved around so much in my life.”

Scott’s father had been transferred several times as he had grown up, forcing him to constantly make new friends and never knowing how long he would remain in one 21

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place. It was touching that he felt that Derek’s consistent friendship and love were good enough for him, but, Derek knew Scott would love this gift. “Just open it.”

He opened the envelope and pulled out two tickets. Reading them, his head snapped up and he gaped at Derek. “I don’t believe it. You bought Howie Day tickets? They’re for next week in New York City. Are you serious? Thank you. I wonder who I’ll take.” Derek shot up to his feet. Scott stood and hugged him. “I’m just kidding. Of course we’re going together.”

Derek relaxed in Scott’s arms as he always did whenever Scott touched him. “It gets even better. Beck’s uncle lives in the city and she already called him to ask if we could stay there for the night. We’re going to drive in on Friday, go to the concert that night at the Bowery Ballroom, then come home Saturday.”

Scott’s eyes lit up, then a slight expression of concern crossed his face. “I have to run it by my parents to make sure I can go.”

Derek beamed. “Already taken care of. I called your mom before I bought the tickets and after Beck had checked with her uncle to make sure we had a place to crash. Shannon already said it’s fine.” Derek had grown to like Shannon, Scott’s mother, a great deal ever since she stood up to Scott’s father. Scott’s father had come down hard on Scott for one poor grade their senior year, forcing him into a house arrest and one of the worst depressions of his life. It had been Shannon’s actions of talking to Derek’s mother and then standing up to her husband, ending Scott’s punishment, which had brought them together again. Shannon had done so because she was worried about how depressed Scott had become, unaware that her actions also opened the door for them to rekindle their relationship and helped them to become closer than ever.

“Thank you Derek. If you had to get me a gift, I’m glad it was something we can enjoy together. I don’t know how I got so lucky to have someone as incredible as you as a boyfriend.”

Derek never liked it when Scott said things like that. It suggested he didn’t know how wonderful he was or that he deserved the best. Although he wasn’t going to bring it up right now, he was going to do everything he could to help Scott finally see himself for who he was, a sensitive, kind, and giving person who appreciated life. “Scott, we’re both lucky.” He leaned in and gave Scott a quick kiss.

As their mouths sealed together, a mixture of bliss and worry filled Derek. He was thrilled Scott was excited for the trip, but the lingering self-doubt that Scott wanted to keep their relationship a secret, constantly reared its head. There was no question in his mind that it was the years of succumbing to his father’s commanding nature that caused Scott to doubt his own worth. Most likely, it was the same thing that made him uncomfortable about opening up about being gay and together as a couple. The thought rankled, like pouring salt on a cut, but now wasn’t the time to address it. Sinking deeper into the kiss, he wrapped his arms around Scott and leaned in. As their tongues twirled against each other, his errant thoughts drifted from his mind, as if carried away on a light breeze. All that mattered right now was that he was in the arms 22

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of the man he loved and that they were heading to New York together. Anything else could be addressed at another time.

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Chapter Two

On Friday, Scott was bouncing around his room like a ping-pong ball, grabbing everything he could think of that he might need for their trip. Derek, thrilled to see Scott so happy and excited, sat on his bed, watching him with amusement. When he finished packing, he had filled a suitcase. “I wonder if I thought of everything.”

Derek got up from Scott’s bed. “We’re going for one night. You couldn’t possibly need even one-third of whatever you’ve packed in there.”

Scott looked at the suitcase, then laughed. “You know, I’m so used to packing all my stuff because of moving around so much, it’s become a habit. How about you help me choose what I need, we’ll shove it in my duffle bag, and then we can go to your house and you can put your stuff in with mine.”

The thought of them sharing a bag for a trip seemed like a concrete image of coupledom and Derek loved the feeling of closeness it evoked in him. My God! If the simple act of putting clothes in a bag can get me all romantic and sappy, I must be whipped worse than I thought. Awesome! “Okay, what you’re wearing right now will be fine for the ride to New York.” Scott was wearing jeans, a white t-shirt with blue sleeves, and sandals. Derek walked over to Scott. “I love this shirt. It highlights your broad shoulders and the blue compliments your eyes. Maybe you shouldn’t wear that in the car. I may become distracted and run us off the road.”

“I’ll take my chances.” Scott gave Derek a quick peck on the cheek. “So, for the concert, I think I’ll wear this.” He held up his white long sleeve shirt with the picture of the Tasmanian Devil on it; the same shirt he had been wearing when he walked into their shared English class a year earlier. “Are we going to go out afterwards?”

Derek hadn’t thought past the concert. “I don’t know. We’re both eighteen. We can’t get into bars. I suppose we could go out to dinner or walk around.”

“But if we’re out and about in the city, shouldn’t I bring something dressy?”

“What? Like dress pants and a button down shirt. Hell no! We’re going to be in the East Village. That’s where Madonna got her start. It must be one of the most casual spots in the city. But…” he hesitated as a specific picture of Scott flashed through his mind. Walking over to Scott’s dresser, he started opening drawers until he found the one with the tank tops. He pulled out a Brampton High Wrestling tank and handed it to Scott. “Wear this after the concert.”

Scott took the shirt and shoved it into the bag. “I guess you want me to wear that because it will be hot with the summer heat. Good thinking.”