Wrecked (Crystal Book Billionaires) (26 page)

My heart pounded away. Yes, this was awful, but it was the last thing I’d expected.

“A text,” I slowly said. From Rainy? Or from someone else?

Maybe Eli had finally decided to get in touch with me, thinking I might send him a little dirty pic or something. If I were Luke, seeing that would make me furious.

“It was from your friend Rainy.”

I bit my bottom lip. All right then.

Luke knew about Rainy. I’d mentioned her to him before, and so he knew all about the debacle with her and Eli. I swallowed hard and forced myself to keep looking at the man in front of me.

“What did the message say?”

Luke crossed his arms in front of his chest. “It said that she was going to tell everyone you’re not at NYU and that you’re in North Carolina trying to marry a billionaire in order to save your ass. By the way, those were her words, not mine.”

I couldn’t think. I couldn’t even breathe. For days I’d agonized over how I was going to tell Luke about my despicable plan — supposing I eventually decided to tell him at all — and now all options were taken away from me. He knew.

Not only did he know, he’d found out in the worst way possible. From a second source. From that point on, no matter what I said, I wouldn’t look good. Any attempts to explain would just look like I was trying to cover my ass.

And so I didn’t say anything. I just stood there, sinking into a deep pit of pain, letting it pull me down like the quicksand it was.

“Grace,” he said, shaking his head. “Well?”

I exhaled, the simple action agonizing in a way breathing should never be. “It’s true,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “At least at—”

Luke looked like I’d hit him. His arms fell, and he took a step backwards, shock all over his face. The sight made my heart hurt even more.

He thought there was a chance it wasn’t true. He really still believed in me.

His throat bobbed up and down. “What did she mean about NYU,” he asked, his voice cracking and harsh.

I blinked my eyes fast, trying to keep the tears at bay. My eyes were growing hot though. The imminent sobbing had already collected in my chest, and it sat there, just waiting for its opportunity to break free.

“I told…” I began, then took in another painful breath so I could go on. “I told Rainy to tell everyone that I moved back to New York to finish up at NYU.”

I half expected him to ask me why I would have done such a crazy thing, but I also wasn’t surprised when he didn’t probe deeper. Out of anyone in Crystal Brook, of course Luke would get it. He was from the same world as I was — actually, he was from an even more affluent land, the place the people who were on my social tier dreamed of getting to one day. He knew how important appearances were. He knew how I’d be shamed and shunned if everyone knew I was running away to a little southern town in order to escape facing the repercussions of my family’s downfall.

Luke again ran a hand through his hair. I shut my eyes briefly, afraid to look at his face any longer. Would I never taste his mouth again? Would his eyes never gaze down at me the way they had in the backyard — like I was his reason for being? Like I was his way to everything good in life?

“And what about the second part?”

I opened my heavy eyelids to look at him. Even though it hurt, I had to do him justice and have an honest, direct conversation with him.

“That part was true,” I rasped out, then swallowed. “At least it was at first.”

He gazed at me with a frozen expression. If he was hurting as badly as I was, at that point it was impossible to tell. He had closed up; shut me out.

I went on. There was nothing left to do but tell the whole story.

“When I first met you, I was attracted to you. I really was. Even
before
I met you. On my way here from the airport, Uncle Joe drove past your house, and I saw just the side of your face. That’s all I saw, but I couldn’t get you off my mind. And then when we talked for the first time I was into you. I really was, Luke. I was already falling. And then… then…” I stumbled over my words, but I picked them back up and charged on.

“Then I did a foolish thing and found out more about you without just asking you. I found out about your past and who you were. I was scared. I didn’t know what was going to happen to me. I didn’t finish my degree. I got kicked out of school because all I cared about was partying. I thought I was too good to get a job. Getting married seemed like the best option. So yes, that was my plan. I came up with it all on my own. I was terrified, and I was stupid.”

The tears came, spilling from my eyes and splashing onto my cheeks. I was ashamed to cry so forcefully in front of Luke, but I knew I deserved the shame. I had asked for it, so I might as well commit to feeling it in its entirety.

“But that’s no longer my plan,” I said. “I know how wrong it was. You’ve made me see things I never could before, Luke. You’ve changed me. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for keeping it from you.”

Still he gazed down at me, his face rigid. “Since when?”

I blinked fast to try and dry my eyes. “Since when what?”

“Since when is it no longer your plan?”

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

“Since very recently,” he stated. “It had to have been, seeing as we’ve only known each other since recently.”

No,
I wanted to say.
No, you’ve got it all wrong.

But I couldn’t protest. Really, truly, Luke had it all right.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

Luke blinked, his expression harsh. His eyes were red but other than that nothing about his face had changed. “I am too. Today I was going to tell you that I loved you, Grace.”

The words cracked my whole being in two. I’d thought I knew pain before, but now all the suffering in the world came flooding down on me, filling up the jagged crater in the middle of my being.

Pain. Pain.

At least I’ll never know a feeling worse than this,
was all I could think. My world was crumbling down around me, and there I was, looking on the bright side.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“Is that all you can say?” His face twisted — a real show of emotion.

“Yes.” The word was a sob. “Because it’s true.”

His hands clenched into fists. Hands which I now knew for sure would never touch mine again.

“So you woke up this morning and what? You still had it in your mind to marry me?”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It really seems like it is.”

“Luke…” I wanted to tell him I loved him, but even that seemed unfair. Expressing that truth would be salt on our wounds. And, sure, I deserved it. But he sure as hell didn’t.

His eyes moved over my shoulder, looking at something beyond me. “I need to go.”

I frantically searched my mind, looking for something to say other than
No
or
I’m sorry.

A floorboard creaked behind me, and I glanced over my shoulder. Both Uncle Joe and Aunt Ginger were there, standing at the entrance to the kitchen. How long had they been there? And how much of mine and Luke’s conversation had they hear from outside in the yard?

“Sorry,” Uncle Joe said, clearing his throat. He started to turn around, but Luke spoke up.

“That’s all right. I think I should be going. Joe. Aunt Ginger. Thank you very much for inviting me here, but I need to spend some time alone.”

He nodded and turned away, walking out the door and out of my life.

Luke

“I
don’t know man,” Mark said.

I looked away from him and down the street, at the intersection less than a half block away from Pit Stop. The light turned green and the cars moved forward. I studied each blurred face in the vehicles, thinking I recognized a few of them from around town. Sooner or later, I knew, I would see Grace.

Or maybe not. It had been less than twenty-four hours since I stormed out of her aunt and uncle’s house and Grace was likely already making plans to ditch Crystal Brook. Perhaps she’d already bought her one-way ticket back to L.A.

Mark went on. “The way you talked about her doesn’t make it sound like she could be that bad.”

“Well, I was wrong,” I dryly responded. “Obviously.”

He sullenly studied my face.

“Please don’t,” I told him.

“Don’t what?”

“Make that face that says you’re sad about this. You don’t even know her.” I took another drink of beer, but it turned sour in my stomach, and I pushed the pint glass away.

“If you’re not going to mourn this then I’ll do it for you.”

“I’m fine,” I lied.

“You have bags under your eyes. You obviously haven’t brushed your hair, and, sorry dude, but I can tell from here that you didn’t shower today. You’re not fine.”

“Yeah, well, it doesn’t really matter, does it?” I lowered my voice so the other nearby patrons of the bar wouldn’t hear me. “She lied to me. It’s over now.”

Mark made a face. “Eh… I don’t know that she technically lied to you.”

“It was as good as a lie. Can we drop it for now?”

Mark held his palms up. “All right. Let’s drop it. You’re making a mistake though.”

I gritted my teeth. “Don’t say that.”

“Because it’s true?”

“Because it’s not true.”

“Come next week, you’re going to regret this.”

I shook my head, the sick feeling in my stomach intensifying. “No, I won’t.”

“Fine. Whatever.” Mark leaned forward in his seat. “So what else is there to talk about?”

I didn’t answer.

“Right,” he scoffed. “I thought so.”

I ran my palm over my face and sighed.

Grace

I
wrapped the blanket tighter around myself, burrowing down into its depths. It did nothing to comfort me because there was nothing that could comfort me.

I’d failed at being a human being. I’d taken the best thing in my life and destroyed it, crumpling it up at the edges until it was fit for nothing but the trash.

For two days I’d basically lived on the couch. Luckily Aunt Ginger and Uncle Joe understood —maybe because they’d heard the vast majority of my conversation with Luke. They left me alone, not asking when I was going to brush my hair or stop being a vampire and say hello to the sunlight.

My involvement with Community First was toast. I’d called in a resignation on Sunday, timing the call so that I could just leave a message and not actually have to talk to anyone. I couldn’t run the risk of Luke picking up the phone.

Luke.

I stared at the television screen, watching a woman on the shopping channel try and sell a set of non-stick pots.

Mindless television. That’s what I’d filled my hours with. I’d called in sick to my burgeoning business, making an excuse about being sick to my stomach, which actually was pretty true. Tracey picked up the extra dog walks, leaving me one extra day to be a couch potato.

But the next day was Tuesday, which meant I’d have to get back at it. Tracey was happy to work and take the extra money for one day, but her life was too overwhelming for her to keep covering for me.

I groaned and sat up, pushing the blanket off of me. It was too hot to be swaddled up, and the blanket wasn’t helping me anyway.

A key jiggled in the front door. I grabbed the remote and turned the television off, embarrassed to be caught watching virtually the exact same thing I’d been watching that morning.

Aunt Ginger came in, a small stack of books in her arms and a strained smile on her face.

“How are you doing?” she asked.

“Good,” I lied.

She settled onto the couch next to me, setting the books on the coffee table. The spines revealed their titles:
How to Grieve. Getting Back Out There. Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.

“I brought you some books,” she explained. “They might help you. You know, more than…” Her eyes flicked to the television.

“Thanks.” I picked the top book up and studied its cover. A woman wearing a nineties pants suit and a blonde bob hairstyle smiled up at me. As long as she wasn’t offering fashion advice, I would read the book.

“I know it’s hard,” Aunt Ginger said, leaning back against the couch cushions. “And it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with someone. It’s the intensity of the relationship that matters. The depth of it. That’s the real loss.”

My lower lip trembled. She’d hit the nail on the head.

“Thanks, Aunt Ginger.”

“Have you thought any more about calling Luke?”

“No,” I said automatically, then sighed. “Okay, I’ve thought about it… but I’m not going to do it.”

Aunt Ginger reached over and rubbed my knee. “Are you sure everything that needs to be said has been said?”

“You saw him. He was the one who walked out. If Luke wanted to talk to me, he would.”

“Maybe he’s waiting for you to talk to him.”

“No.” I shook my head. Letting myself believe that would be too painful.

She pursed her lips. “All right then… you’re sure?”

“Yes.”

She nodded. “I suppose things will work out if they’re supposed to.”

I dropped the book back on the table and fell back on the couch. “I’m not going to wait around for them to.”

“Oh,” she said in a small voice.

I saw her tense shoulders and worried brows. “What?” I asked.

“So you’re leaving? You’re going back to Los Angeles?”

I opened my mouth, more surprised at how hurt my aunt looked than at the question. “Um… no. That wasn’t my plan, anyway.”

“I know Luke was the thing that finally made you happy here,” she quietly said.

I exhaled forcefully through my nose. God, even hearing his name caused me pain.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “He was. For a little bit. But he wasn’t the only thing I had here.”

Aunt Ginger smiled fondly. “Your uncle and I are proud of you. So is your father.”

I wrinkled my nose. “I think you’re making that last part up.”

“No. I’m not. He told Joe so himself.”

I interlaced my fingers together and looked down at them. Knowing my family was proud of me felt good, but even that didn’t take away so much as a teaspoon of the pain I’d been submerged in for the last couple days.