PIPER
It felt so
good to be hugged, held, to cry into his chest and know he wouldn’t judge me. “Are you sure it was Drew?”
Davis pulled back and stroked my cheek. “I sold him a truck, sweetie. It was him.”
“Why did he come back?” I couldn’t believe Drew was back, or perhaps he hadn’t really left. Davis had texted me not long ago, letting me know that Drew was at the dealership. At first, I was determined not to come over here, but I lasted only about an hour before I couldn’t take it anymore.
“He didn’t say. At first, I thought he came back for you and the baby. I tried to sell him an SUV.”
“
You what
?”
“Don’t worry, I covered. He doesn’t know you might be pregnant.”
“Hush!”
“You’re coming over tonight and taking that damn test. Stop stalling. You need to know. Hell, I need to know.”
“I’m not ready, Davis. I need a little time.” He put his arm around me and started walking. “How’d Drew seem? Did he ask about me?”
“He seemed like he wanted to kill me. He’s not buying that we’re just friends, that’s for sure. He thought I was the ex you told him about.” Davis hugged me again. “I was going to tell him the truth, but he stormed off.”
“I don’t think it would have mattered, anyway.” It was hopeless, and I knew it. He hadn’t left me because of what he might think about Davis. He left because I didn’t mean anything to him. “How could I have been so blind?”
“I tried to tell you he has issues with his family.”
“Do you think that’s why he left me?”
“I don’t know, but don’t grasp at straws. He’s back in town. Has he called? Tried to see you?”
I shook my head as a few more tears fell down my cheeks. “I love him.”
“I know you do. Maybe give him a few days. He was jealous when he thought we were together. He wouldn’t be that way if he didn’t care.”
I kissed his cheek. “I think you better find another date for New Year’s Eve. I won’t be good company.” Davis nodded his head, and I walked away alone. My worst fears were true. I was nothing to Drew. I had meant nothing. He hadn’t left town. He just left me.
I wandered around the small shops of McAdenville—a zombie. I’m sure people said “hi” or nodded at me, but my heart was too crushed to engage. I knew Davis was right, and I needed to take the pregnancy test, but I wasn’t strong enough for the result yet. I needed to be strong if the answer was yes. I needed to be able to tell Drew and not fall back into his arms if he came back to me because of the baby. I didn’t need or want a sympathy relationship.
I looked across the street towards the pond, all the Christmas decorations now gone. Scanning the grass, I looked for our bench, the bench we made out on for hours just a few nights ago. I was shocked to find Drew sitting there, staring out into the water. He really was still in town. He really hadn’t tried to see me. I really didn’t mean anything to him.
Suddenly, he turned towards me, like he felt my stare on him. I turned quickly. There was no way I could look into his blue eyes without falling to pieces. If he thought I was nothing, then I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of seeing he meant everything to me.
*
DREW
Piper? I leapt
off the bench, tilting my head, trying to see if that was really her. I think I was in shock. Seeing her in Davis’s arms not long ago—God, that hurt like hell. Watching her with another man, her lips on his cheek, his arms cradling her, them walking arm in arm was the worst kind of pain imaginable. I’d taken for granted all the times she’d walked towards me and flew into my arms, the moments I’d held her hand as she walked beside me.
I searched the streets some more, looking to see if that was really her, but I didn’t see her. I was so tired I must be seeing things now. I sat back down on the bench. She wasn’t the only reason I’d come back to McAdenville. She was the main reason, but not the only one. I had other things to work out, and I’d just have to let her go somehow. She obviously didn’t love me.
“Uncle Drew,” Jack called out, running towards me carrying a ball, my parents following not far behind.
“Hey, Jack. Thanks for coming to play with me in the park.” I tried to put on a cheery face. The little boy didn’t deserve a grump for an uncle, and I was the only one he had.
My mom and dad reached us, but they didn’t embrace me this time. They both just stood there waiting—waiting for me to come to them. They’d been waiting for that for six long years. I tousled Jack’s hair as I stepped around him, opened my arms, and pulled them both into a hug. I tried to squeeze as hard as my mom does, but no one hugs like her. I felt tears rolling down my neck and shirt. They were both crying. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left like that again.”
Their arms got tighter around me. “Thought we were playing ball,” Jack said, pushing on my leg. I pulled back from my parents, giving them a minute to collect themselves, and flipped Jack upside down. He started laughing, and I tickled his belly.
We spent the afternoon tossing the ball around and playing in the leftover snow from Christmas. It didn’t make up for me not being around his whole life, but it was a start. I had to start somewhere. My dad took Jack’s hand, suggesting some hot cocoa, and started for a little shop across the street, leaving me with my mom. I knew she wanted to talk to me alone.
She sat down on the bench, and I paused for a second before taking a seat beside her, my heart tugging slightly as I wondered whether I’d ever not think of Piper when I saw this bench. It’s funny. I was always afraid memories of Ellie and Rob would haunt me in McAdenville. But instead, it was memories of Piper that filled my mind.
“This was nice,” my mom said.
“It was.” I put my arm around her. “We’ll do it more often.” But I wasn’t sure she believed me.
“This was easy. Rob and Ellie won’t be so much fun. It won’t be easy to fix that relationship.”
“I’m not planning on fixing anything. What Rob and I had is over. It won’t ever be that way again. It can’t be. I can’t stand his wife.” I saw her trying to fight it, but a smile snuck out. “I’m just letting it all go. You know what I mean.”
“I think so.”
“I just don’t want to waste any more time on them. I’m tired of being pissed off.”
“That’s good, baby.” She put her hand on my arm, giving me a little pat. “I’m proud of you.”
“Mom, you need to know that Rob and I aren’t going to be buddies. I need you to be ok with that.”
“If it means I get to see my baby more, then I’m fine with that.” She reached up and stroked my cheek. “How long are you staying?”
“Probably drive back to Raleigh on New Year’s Eve, but I’ll be back when Rob and Ellie have the babies. I promise.”
“What about Piper?” my mom asked.
I felt the pain in my chest creeping up my throat. I just shook my head slightly, knowing if I tried to talk my voice would give me away.
“Don’t you leave town without seeing her, Drew,” she said, giving me the mother look.
I shook my head again, hoping no tears fell out of my eyes. I didn’t cry, ever—especially over women—not even Ellie.
“Drew Timothy Landon.” Shit, this was serious, she had evoked the full name. That’s never good. “New Year’s Eve morning before you leave, we are baking this out. You hear me?” I nodded, and she pulled my chin down and stared into my eyes. “New Year’s Eve morning.”
PIPER
I held the
door open to my studio as Hank struggled up the stairs. “Thank you for doing this. Just put it anywhere.”
Hank put down the sheet-covered crib, rubbing his back slightly. “I can’t believe you were unloading this yourself. Glad I pulled up.”
It had been stupid of me to try to move it myself. I was pretty strong, and with some struggle, I’m sure I could have gotten it up the stairs. It was only a cradle, but if I was carrying a baby, I knew better than to lift something so heavy. I had to do better, no matter how shitty I felt. “Thanks again,” I said, adjusting the sheet, not wanting Hank to know what was beneath it.
“Firefly, is everything all right?” Hank asked.
Hank was a very perceptive man. I guess most bartenders probably are, but I wasn’t ready to unload my troubles. After all, I wasn’t sitting on one of his barstools. My phone rang, saving me, and I grabbed it quickly. I made myself sick with how pathetic I was, how much I wanted every ring to be Drew. “I need to take this,” I said. Hank gave a nod and left.
I took a deep breath, knowing I needed to answer. It was Sabrina, and I’d been avoiding her. My guilt set in. She’d called me so many times, and I hadn’t picked up. I couldn’t leave her hanging. “Hi, Sabrina. I’m alive, but I don’t want to talk about it.”
I heard her release a loud huff. “What happened?”
“I just can’t.” I felt myself starting to cry again.
“Ok, why don’t you tell me where you are, and I’ll come over.”
“No, I’m a mess. I just want. . . .” The tears started to pour out, and I couldn’t stop them.
“Ok, sugar. I’ll just stay on the line. You go ahead and cry. I’ll be here,” Sabrina whispered. “Go ahead, get it all out.”
I started to sob, but I didn’t think I’d ever get it all out. I clung to the phone, tears running down my face, my chest heaving, unable to catch a good breath. And through it all, I just heard Sabrina breathing deeply on the other end of the phone. She didn’t say a word, just like she promised. I knew she was there. I knew she wouldn’t hang up. This was a true friend, someone who would sit in your shit with you and just let you be. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when my tears finally slowed. “I love him,” I whispered like it was some big secret.
“Did you tell him?”
I knew I had several chances to tell him and never did.
Idiot
. “No, he left. He just left me.” I started to sob again.
“He’s still in town. Matt talked to him. He didn’t leave.”
“I know. I saw him, too, but he said there was nothing in McAdenville for him. I’m sure that included me because he hasn’t tried to call or see me or anything.”
“It sounds like he’s got a lot to work out with his family. Matt told me some of the history with him and his family.”
“Yep, it’s a mess.”
“Well, maybe you don’t want to be caught up in that.”
“But, I do. I don’t care. I love him.” And I knew that was true. I just wanted to be with Drew. I didn’t care about his family issues. I didn’t care about the distance anymore. I didn’t care about any of it. I only cared about Drew.
I heard Sabrina sigh. I knew I sounded like one of those pathetic girls I hated. “Maybe he just needs some time to work out his shit,” Sabrina said.
“I’m out of time.”
“What’s that mean?”
I thought for a minute, debating whether to tell Sabrina I might be pregnant. Davis already knew, and it would be nice to have a girl to talk to about it. But I wasn’t sure Sabrina could keep it a secret from Matt, and I didn’t want to put her in that position. And I couldn’t risk Matt knowing. He might tell Drew. “Nothing, thanks for listening.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to come out with us for New Year’s Eve? Might do you some good.”
“Thank you, but I just want to be alone. I’ll call you in a few days.” I hung up then lowered my head to my knees, unable to believe I’d misread Drew so badly. Ellie had been right. He’d simply walked away without giving me a second thought.
*
I sat back
and studied the canvas. I’d finally gotten it right—the way his lips turn up in that smile that makes both my heart and panties melt. It had taken me over a dozen tries to get it just perfect, but I finally had. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel any better. I thought if I could capture Drew’s smile on my canvas, my pain would somehow lessen. Because I’d always have his image, that his leaving me wouldn’t hurt so bad. It hadn’t worked. The pain in my heart was just as sharp, just as overwhelming as it was yesterday and the day before. I knew I’d never get over him. I knew it like I knew the deep blue color of his eyes, the rough spots on his hands. I knew it like I knew the way his lips tasted, the feel of his thick brown hair.
I leaned back against the sofa and reached for my phone, seeing that my voicemail was full. I listened to countless messages from Sabrina and Davis. I’d also missed a call from my mom, but nothing from Drew. I called Granddaddy on his cell and left him a message. I didn’t want him to worry, but I didn’t plan on leaving my studio anytime soon. I needed to paint, sketch, draw, and do whatever else I could to get out my feelings, to try to forget about Drew. I knew he’d planned on leaving tomorrow, so I just needed to hide out here until New Year’s Day, then I’d buck up and face the world, hopefully not as a single mom.