Wounded (Dogs of War MC Book One) (19 page)

Tonight was Morgan’s last night at her house. Red had moved her grandparents into town, he’d bought two small houses side by side, one for them and one for him. He said he knew that he wouldn’t always be around and he’d need them to keep Morgan sometimes, but he wanted to try to make a life with his daughter himself, something he’d never done before. She respected him for it, but at the same time it meant that he’d no longer be the warmth beside her when she went to sleep and woke up in the morning. It meant she wouldn’t hear Morgan’s laughter from the other room as she played with her toys in the bathtub. It meant no more family dinners of homemade macaroni and cheese and canned vegetables where they giggled with each other over whatever silliness Morgan chose to come up with at the time. It meant that she’d be completely alone again.

An ache opened up inside her, they had filled a hole she didn’t know she’d had. Sure she’d been lonely before she met them, but she’d wanted friends. What Red had given her was a family and she’d fallen in love with it.

“Are you cooking macaroni again?” Red came through the kitchen door, sitting his keys and cell phone in her $500 crystal bowl on the counter, just like he did every night, and she burst into tears.

Red rushed to her, “Hey, macaroni is fine with me. I don’t mind and Morgan loves it.” He put her arms around her and she sobbed into his shoulder.

“It’s not that.”

“Well what is it?”

“This is our last night together.”

“Oh,” he put a finger under her chin and lifted her face, “Oh,” he said again and grinned.

She stepped away and hit him, turning back to get the casserole dish and stick it in the oven, “Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m not laughing at you? I’m just happy for me.”

She stood there shocked, “Because you’re leaving me?”

“No, because you love me.”

Sidney didn’t know what to say to that, she tried to articulate some
response and all that came out was another sob.

Red gathered her back up in his arms, “We’re not leaving you. I love you too, and so does Morgan. Nothing is going to change except you’ll get your privacy and your living room back.” Her living room was currently buried under a three foot pile of toys.

“Do you promise?”

“I promise, you can come over every night and cook macaroni, or we’ll come to you. But you have to say the words.”

“What, macaroni?”

“No, I. Love. You. Say it,” he pressed her up against the counter, nuzzling her neck, sending spirals of warmth shooting through her body.

“Red, we’ve got to take this slow, you’ve got a kid and I’m still not sure about – “

“Say it,” his hand slipped under the edge of her shirt and cupped her breast, letting his thumb rake across the hard nipple.

She drew in a breath, “Red, you –“

“Say it,” his mouth crushed down onto hers stealing the last of her thoughts. Her arms wrapped around his neck pulling him close, loving the feel of his hard body against her.

Too soon his mouth left hers and she was left staring into his eyes.

There was so much she needed to find out about him, things she still wasn’t sure about, but at that moment there was one thing she didn’t doubt.

She finally said the words he wanted to hear so badly, “I love you.”

It felt good to get back to work. Last night with Red had been nothing short of amazing. Her home had felt cozy and warm with her and Red and Morgan laughing over dinner, straightening up together, and settling down for the night. It had become an enjoyable routine, one she was going to miss, but after talking with Red about it she’d felt better. It probably wasn’t smart to move in a ready-made family so quickly anyway.

Morgan needed stability, and right now that meant her grandparents. They must be wonderful people because they were raising the sweetest little girl. Her pudgy cheeks and quick smile were adorable, but it was her tender heart that made Sidney’s heart melt.

She must have been able to tell that Sidney was down during dinner and had made a point of trying to lighten the mood, telling jokes that didn’t make any sense and making funny faces. And when it was time to go to bed she’d asked if Sidney could read to her instead of her Daddy.

“One more story Sidney? Puh-weeeeze? With ice cream and cherries on top?”

Sidney smiled down at her, “Ok, but it’s got to be a short one. It’s getting late.”

“Ok, The Velveteen Rabbit!”

“Oh no. That almost as long as a George R.R. Martin book.”

“Can we read a georgearrrarrmartin book? I don’t want to go to bed.”

“Noooo, not until you’re older,” Sidney said. “How about Pinkalicious?”

“Ok,” Morgan cuddled down close to her, snuggling close in the crook of her arm. Sidney read the story, enjoying the cozy feel of Morgan’s sleepy form beside her.

“Night night Curly Sue, sleep tight,” she whispered as she tucked the little girl in.

“Nightie night Silly Sid, don’t let the bed bugs bite.” Sidney was about to leave the room with Morgan’s sweet voice stopped her, “I love you Sidney.”

“I love you too, sweetie,” she’d said, her eyes filling with tears.

The buzzer on the door rang, snapping her out of her daydream and she looked at the small security monitor on the desk, it was Fran coming in late.

“Good morning,” Sidney called to her.

“Morning, welcome back,” the words were friendly but Fran said them in her usual ambivalent monotone.

Fran came in to stash her purse in the office before she went out to man the front desk.

Sidney wasn’t paying her much attention but she noticed Fran pause and do a double take when she looked at her.

“What the fuck happened to you?”

“What?” she wasn’t sure what Fran was talking about for a moment, “Oh that.” She raised her hand to her face where the lingering yellow green marks remained from her scuffle with the Hellhounds.

“Yes, that.” Fran grabbed her by the chin, turning her face so she could see the mark better.

Sidney brushed her hand away, what gave her the right to touch her and question her,  “I had an accident, that’s all.”

Fran grabbed her hands, turning them over to inspect the still discolored areas on her wrists left by the plastic zip ties. “Did that
accident
send you wine and cause you to miss an entire week of work trying to hide these?”

“What? God no,” she hadn’t even thought about the bruises and marks on her and how it would look after having missed a week of work. “Red would never hurt me.”

“Well then tell me where these marks came from and who this
Red
person is,” she demanded, face set with lips pinched tight.

“Jesus, Fran, why do you even care? You barely even want to talk to me at work, so you really shouldn’t be interested in what happens to me when I’m not here.”

“So I’m anti-social, that doesn’t mean I’m going to stand around while one of my kind gets abused.”

My kind?
Sidney thought,
like people who work in a vet’s office?
“What do you mean ‘my kind’?”

Fran rolled her eyes, “Fine, pretend ignorance all you want, but tell me who Red is and tell me who did this to you.”

“Red is my… boyfriend.”
Was he? That didn’t even sound right
. “And again, what happens outside of work is none of your business. So just drop it.” Sidney tried to get up and brush past Fran, there was really no good way to explain that she’d been kidnapped by a werewolf biker gang because of a feud with a different werewolf biker gang that she’d somehow gotten in the middle of, and she wasn’t about to attempt to try. But Fran stopped her, grabbing her by her arms.

“Fine, don’t tell me. I’ll find out anyway and whoever did this will pay,” Fran held on hard, hurting Sidney’s upper arm with the strength she was squeezing with. Her eyes began to roll back in her head and Sidney was pretty sure she was going to have to find an assistant that wasn’t doing meth.

“Let go of me right now,” Sidney put her hands up to push her off of her but when her hands made contact with Fran the lights flickered and everything inside of her seemed to drain away. Panic seized her, “What is happening?” she felt like her mind was swirling, her vision narrowed and then blackened completely, she was scared.

Walk with me
, the voice in her mind instructed, but it wasn’t Fran’s voice. It was the voice of something ancient and wise, something so warm and strong that all she wanted to do was please it.

Where?
she asked, not knowing what was expected of her.

Just walk, we’ll find our way,
she immediately felt better, the anxiety was gone, the fear, the uncertainty, and she let herself wander, imagining herself walking through a field of tall grass, the wind blowing waves through the green sea. Butterflies meandered from flower to flower, letting the breeze guide their course, and the yellow sunlight gave everything a glow that seemed to make things shine from the inside. This was a good place Sidney decided, a place just to be and to not be, it would be nice to stay for a while. She came to a tree, the sunlight dappling the ground beneath the shady leaves, and sat below it and watched the light play, content.

Thank you daughter, we will take care of you, never forget how much you are loved.
The voice, deep and feminine at the same time, felt like a caress, like it was hugging her soul.

Don’t leave me yet, I’ve needed you
, and until that moment she hadn’t known that she had been missing something, but she knew now and it would seem so empty without  it.

We have always been with you, unknown though we were. We have always loved you and you will never be alone.
Emotion welled up inside Sidney, this was the unconditional love she’d always wanted, the feeling of being worthy regardless of what failings she had, something she’d never felt before.

Without warning the contact with Fran broke and Sidney was back in the real world, staring at her assistant in the harsh florescent lights of their office.

The world had shifted beneath her feet again. She was too full of… everything to even ask Fran all the questions that were running through her mind. Still too surrounded by the all-encompassing love that the voice had planted in her. She started to try to verbalize what she was feeling, so that maybe Fran could explain it to her, but she immediately burst into tears.

Fran grabbed her and held her close as the rocked back and forth, “I’m so sorry Sidney, I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know.”

They stayed locked like that for what seemed like a long time, Sidney weeping silently, too consumed with the feelings she’d experienced and how devoid of… anything her previous life had felt, until they heard the front door chime again.

“Stay here, I’ll take care of it,” Fran rushed out of the room, leaving Sidney to try to gather herself alone.

What was that voice? What had Fran done to her? Why had she always felt so unloved and neglected when it was obvious how much a part of everything she really was?

“It was that stupid chihuahua lady again. I told her that the dogs are going to bark no matter what she does and if she hadn’t wanted dogs that bark she shouldn’t have gotten five chihuahuas. She should have gotten cats.”

“Or fish. The world needs more fish ladies, but it’s always cats.” Sidney tried to joke, but her voice came out sounding dead.

“Are you ok now?”

“No, what happened?”

Fran looked at her hands, “I was just going to look and see who hurt you, I’m pretty good at peeking into other people, and… you were awakened.”

“Awakened?”

“You really have no idea at all about what’s going on? Your family never explained this stuff?”

“Obviously not.”

“Sidney, you just spoke with the Mother and had your magick awakened.”

“The mother? My magic? That doesn’t make any sense at all. Please just explain it to me simply,” Sidney put her hand to her forehead, there was only so much a person could handle and having to drag an explanation out of Fran wasn’t going to help anything.