Worthy of Love (2 page)

All the facts he knew about Nicole told him he wouldn’t find Tony’s sister working in a place like this. Last time he’d seen her she’d been one semester short of her teaching degree, not drink-serving 101.

He glanced at her doppelgänger. If his eyes had to play tricks on him, at least he had a hell of a view. He downed the last of his soda and gestured for another, never taking his eyes from the long legs that sparked his memory. Of him helping Nikki lift her flowing skirt around her waist, of pushing aside the soft fabric and burying himself inside her warmth. Nikki had wrapped those legs around his waist many times that night. She might have been innocent when they started, but not when dawn finally broke and the night came to an end. She’d been eager, willing and he hadn’t thought to stop. He hadn’t thought beyond the driving need to block out the numbing grief and guilt over his role in his partner’s death.

For a few hours, she’d done the impossible. She’d allowed him to forget. Even now his body reacted to the thought of Nikki as if she were standing before him. As if time, circumstance, and his fatal error in judgment had never happened. But it had. Meeting Tony’s widow in this bar was proof of that.
What did Janine need to talk about?
he wondered.

He heard his name and realized he’d have his answer soon enough. He tore his gaze away from the dark-haired waitress. A last glance at the seductress in the form-fitting top and tight jeans negated any lingering doubts. Tony’s hearth-and-home sister wouldn’t be serving drinks in a downtown bar.

Kevin led Janine to an empty table in the rear. The waitress had disappeared. He kicked back in his seat. He’d stay long enough to hear what she had to say. He’d make sure she was okay and then he’d be on his way. “So…”

“Can I get you folks a drink?”

Kevin couldn’t mistake the husky voice tinged with a trace of midwestern twang and he jerked his head up in response. He raised his gaze to find himself staring into stunned but familiar violet eyes. Eyes that had seen inside his soul, only this time they were outlined in a smoky color that added to her allure. So he hadn’t imagined the resemblance, but that’s all there was.

The cocktail waitress standing before him in the black spandex V-neck top that exposed more than a generous hint of cleavage wasn’t the Nikki he remembered. Her dramatically made-up face wasn’t the only change, but he had to admire the new version.

If the fresh-faced girl from the Midwest had the ability to knock a jaded cop off his feet, what would this sexy siren do if given the chance? He had no desire to find out. But he would indulge his curiosity. Nikki had changed too much in too short a period of time and makeup wasn’t the only visible difference. A weariness etched her delicate features and grief still haunted her eyes. Her emotions were visible for all to see and damned if it didn’t make him want her more. It also made him furious that life could hurt and change her so drastically.

Reminding himself he was a part of that hurt, he decided to tread carefully. He leaned back in his seat, resting an elbow on the cushioned armrest. “Nikki.”

Her eyes had widened in surprise but to her credit, she regained her composure quickly. “Kevin,” she murmured, as softly and as seductively as if she’d just seen him last night and not two long months ago. If not for the way her fingers clutched her round tray, turning her knuckles white, he’d have thought her completely unaffected.

“Beer, right?” she asked.

“Club soda.”

She raised an eyebrow. He didn’t explain but he wasn’t surprised she remembered his preference. Though she’d lived on campus, she’d spent weekends with Tony and Janine. When not on duty, Kevin had spent holidays and football season Sundays in their home. The reminder of Tony only sharpened the ever-present pain in his chest.

Nikki turned her now-furious gaze to Janine. “Since it’s Patriot’s Day here in Boston, maybe you’d like one of tonight’s specials. A Benedict Arnold seems just your speed. If it’s not on the menu, I’m sure the bartender would do me a favor and create one just for you.” She treated her sister-in-law to a forced smile. “On the house.”

“Make it a ginger ale,” Janine said without reacting to Nikki’s dig.

“I’ll be back with your drinks.” Nikki turned and walked away.

Kevin forced his gaze off Nikki and the men at the bar who ogled her as she passed. Checking his emotions was difficult, but he pushed his feelings aside before turning back to Janine.

“You ambushed me.” He darted a glance over his shoulder. “And I don’t think she was expecting this visit either.” If he hadn’t thought of Nikki as being hours away, busy finishing school and earning her degree, he’d have realized she was the source of Janine’s call. She was the sexy waitress and he had been set up.

Janine shrugged, a satisfied smile on her face. “I had no choice.”

“We all have choices, Janine.”

“Exactly.” She folded her arms on the table and leaned forward. “You made yours that night in your apartment.”

If he had any doubts about what Janine knew—or didn’t know—about his relationship with Nikki, she’d just put them to rest. He didn’t begrudge Nikki a shoulder to lean on, but he felt as if Tony were here, condemning him through his wife.

“Now, aren’t you in the least bit curious about hers?”

“Should I be?”

She shook her head. “You tell me. The night of the shooting, I remember you telling me that Tony asked you to look out for his family before he died.”

His stomach churned at the reminder of the night he couldn’t put to rest. “He asked that I make sure his family… you and Nikki… were okay. I did that.”

“By taking off? By not checking in, not once for the last two months?”

“You wouldn’t have wanted to hear from me.”

“Not true. Nobody blames you, Kevin.
I
don’t blame you.”

He slammed his hand down on the table. “
I
blame me.” If he hadn’t been babysitting his father, Max, Tony wouldn’t have run off alone when he’d gotten the call to head over to a domestic dispute. Tony wouldn’t be dead and he wouldn’t be sitting here with his partner’s widow.

“So that’s how you handle guilt? That’s how you keep a promise?”

“By quitting the force and letting you two get on with your lives,” he explained. “Without any painful reminders.”

Janine’s laughter took him by surprise. “Is that what you think you did?” She sobered suddenly and studied his face. “Life went on, Kevin. But not the way you think.”

“Meaning?”

Janine’s arm swept the expanse of the bar, to where Nikki maneuvered between customers, taking orders and serving drinks. “Need I say more?” Janine asked.

“What happened to her degree? She only had one semester left of student teaching.”

“You want information, I suggest you ask her yourself.”

He paused then, realizing for the first time that he had no idea how Nikki or Janine had gotten on since Tony’s death. Janine had Tony’s pension, but was it enough?

And where did that leave Nikki? Her parents’ savings at the time of their death had been minimal. The farm had been mortgaged twice and he remembered Tony telling him the creditors had taken nearly everything, including insurance from the fire.
With her brother, her only family and source of support gone, what choices had Nikki been forced to make?
Kevin wondered. For a change, he hadn’t thought of anyone, taken care of anyone, but himself.

His old man’s favorite words came back to haunt him.
Mannings were no good at taking care of anyone but themselves.
His dead partner had been his first wake-up call, Nikki his second.

His gaze wandered to the woman he couldn’t forget. She stood, leaning over a male customer. The surge of jealousy was so strong and so foreign to him, Kevin barely heard Janine as she spoke. “She needs you.”

Nikki laughed at something the guy said and his hand cupped her waist in an all too-familiar grip. She didn’t seem inclined to walk away. Kevin forced his gaze off Nikki’s waist and back to Janine. “Seems to me like she’s doing just fine on her own,” he said.

Janine shot him a disbelieving stare. “I doubt Tony would agree.”

“Cheap shot,” he muttered.

“But true.” As she spoke, Nikki returned.

Despite the smoke, despite the distinct odor of alcohol, Kevin was aware of her. Her unique scent had lingered in his dreams and as she circled their seats, pausing only to slam down their drinks before moving on, he could swear she still wore the same perfume.

He watched her in action. She served neighboring tables, pausing to talk at some, flirt at others, and avoid wandering hands as she worked. From the easy way she maneuvered, he’d guess she’d been doing this for more than just a few nights. He looked to Janine for answers, but after having set him up, his companion disappeared.

He exhaled a groan. Nikki had a new look, a new job. From all outward appearances, she had a whole new life. One he was damn sure her brother wouldn’t approve of, one that put Kevin in a position he didn’t want to be in.

He’d left the morning after, believing that Nikki would be better off going on with her life without him around. After all, if his partner couldn’t count on him, what could he offer Nikki? She deserved better than him. He glanced around the crowded bar. Better than this, too. Kevin knew all about these places firsthand. He’d grown up hanging around the sleazier bars, tagging after his drunken father.

Knowing Nikki was subjecting herself to the leers and come-ons he’d seen his father make… Even if the guys wore suits instead of an out-of-work plumber’s overalls, they were after the same thing. From Nikki. The thought made him sick and Kevin refused to dwell on it any longer. Instead he settled in.

Throughout the night, Nikki glared at him plenty and refilled his drink once, but she didn’t stop to talk. Obviously, she planned to ignore him until he decided to leave. With his track record, she probably figured it was only a matter of time. He wished he could oblige. Watching Nikki had aroused more than his curiosity and he didn’t like the feeling. He’d prefer to put it, and her, behind him as soon as possible.

And he would, as soon as he fulfilled his promise to Tony. Last time he left, he did so based on the assumption that Nikki would be fine without him. He’d been so wrapped up in himself and his mistakes that he’d made another one.

He’d left without checking facts, a damn stupid move for an ex-cop. Before he dropped out of sight again, he intended to make sure he accomplished his goal.

*     *     *

Nikki Welles grabbed her fake fur coat from the hook in the back hall and glanced around the empty bar once more. Not a customer or ex-lover in sight. Apparently, things hadn’t changed. He still made his getaway before facing her one-on-one. She fought back the recurring wave of nausea that threatened to overtake her. She’d been queasy before work and hadn’t been able to eat and once here, greasy bar food didn’t appeal to her weak stomach.

Ever since her brother’s death, she was lightheaded and woozy most of the time. Similar to when her parents had died, but much, much worse. She and Tony had been very close… and now she had no one but Janine. At one time, she thought she’d have Kevin, but he hadn’t cared enough to stick around, and obviously that hadn’t changed.

His generous tip didn’t ease the insult; it merely heightened it, especially since she hadn’t earned the money. He’d taken up space at her station and paid her for nothing. As if he felt sorry for her. The thought brought back painful memories she believed she’d put behind her… of the morning she’d woken up in his apartment, alone in his bed.

At first she’d thought he was somewhere around. Then, not wanting to believe the worst, she convinced herself he’d gone down to pick up breakfast for them both. She’d even set the table, pulled on the shirt he’d left near the bed and curled up to wait. Only after an embarrassing amount of time had passed, did she accept the truth. He considered her a mistake and he’d left her in his apartment rather than face her the morning after, probably giving her time to gather her things and leave before he returned. Just the memory brought back the rush of shame she’d felt at the time, but only for a moment. Because Kevin Manning wasn’t worth it… even if he still looked sexy enough to knock her off her feet. She’d never go there again.

She wrapped her coat around her body and headed for the door. “Sure you don’t want to wait five?” one of the bartenders asked as she passed.

“No, thanks. I’ll be fine.” She waved good night and ducked into the cool night air before he could argue. The taxi routinely picked her up on the corner of the one-way street. Most nights, one of the guys kept her company on her walk, but tonight, she wanted to be alone. She needed to think about what Kevin’s return meant for her future and what form of revenge would work best on the sister-in-law who had betrayed her.

She exhaled, watching the puff of air hover and disappear. With the chill in the air, she found it hard to believe spring was on the way. She bowed her head down and walked to the corner, her hand wrapped around the pepper spray she kept in her coat pocket as a precaution. The streets were quiet, but the guys at work had taught her never to take safety for granted. From the beginning, they’d looked at her as their naïve kid sister, which, for the most part, she had been. They’d taught her how to flirt when appropriate, duck a come-on when necessary, and how to take care of herself.

As she reached the corner, someone grabbed her arm and she swung around, pepper spray in her other hand. As quickly as she’d turned, she found herself disarmed and pulled against a lean, hard body, her face pressed against cold leather. Heart pounding, throat dry, she grappled for a way out and remembered the night’s tips tucked safely inside her boots. She wondered if her attacker would be satisfied with that or if he wanted something more. Something she wouldn’t willingly give.

Before she could process that thought, he released her. She stumbled backward and looked up to see Kevin, pepper spray in hand and a dark scowl on his face.

She drew in a ragged breath. The cold air did nothing to calm her nerves or her shaking hands. Even as she glared at him, she couldn’t help the awareness that shot through her veins. He hadn’t changed. He oozed sex appeal and raw danger. With his dark hair, razor stubble and black leather jacket, he was a part of the streets and the black night that stretched out before them. He was a loner, belonging on his own, much more than he’d ever belong to anyone else. She’d been foolish to hope he’d ever be hers.