Worth the Risk (6 page)

“Thanks. I’d appreciate that.” She backed away from him and leaped to grab her stuff, which she’d already assembled on the picnic table. She rushed off, moving as though demons from hell were on her tail. No demons. Just him.

She tossed a quick glance back over her shoulder and slowed her pace. Judging by the panic etched on her delicate features, she wanted to run. He stood, watchful until she disappeared around the bend. Damn it.

He walked over to stow his gear in the tent. Brad lay on his stomach, his face ground into his pillow, oblivious to Tanner going in and out of the tent. He returned to the kitchen tent to finish breakfast preparations.

Sleep had been elusive, and not because Brad snored like a diesel engine. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Molly. About kissing her and making her come. She’d responded to him like never before. She had become a beautiful woman, one he wanted to get to know all over again. He was determined to spend more time with her, much more time before the weekend came to a close.

When Molly returned, she maintained her distance. The smell of cooking sausages permeated the air as they sat sipping coffee, waiting for the others to join them. She turned on a radio, tuned to the local station, and hummed along with the songs—an obvious excuse to avoid conversation. He refused to be put off. He would simply bide his time.

The tempting breakfast odors, or the craving for caffeine, soon rousted the rest of their party. They rolled out of their tents, some groggy, some chipper, all starving. After gobbling down eggs, sausage, and toast, they sat around the picnic table, drinking an assortment of beverages.

Tanner noticed Sam and Olivia sharing a secret smile. Best friends since the cradle, they started dating in high school, but delayed getting married until they both completed university and secured full-time jobs. Guilt assailed him, one more time, over the fact that he didn’t come home for their wedding. He hadn’t even called.

Sam cleared his throat, attracting everyone’s attention. Looking a little bashful, he turned to them. “Liv and I have news we wanted to share with you guys.” He glanced at his wife, an endearing smile on his face. “We’re having a baby.”

A stunned silence followed for about a millisecond before the other girls squealed and stumbled over themselves to get around the table to hug Olivia, while the men damn near knocked Sam off the bench patting him on the back. Molly didn’t rush to congratulate the happy couple. In fact, her face lost what little color she had left. That mysterious expression returned, before she rose and left the table.

Other than a concerned glance from Colleen, nobody but Tanner noticed her quick, but quiet, exit. He stood to follow her. With her head down, she sprinted past the other campers, taking the same route from the night before. He hung back, but kept her in his sights. About one hundred yards in, she veered off the path and ducked into the trees.

Tanner found her in a small clearing hidden by a handful of large bushes. She sat on a large boulder, knees up, arms curled around them, hiding her face in an attempt to muffle her sobs. Her whole body trembled. The shear agony in her posture, in her cries, pierced his heart. He crept closer. When he was within a few feet, he called out, keeping his voice low, his tone soothing. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

She scrambled away from the rock and spun to face him. Her eyes were wide. Tears flowed down her face. Her panic turned to grief when she realized it was him. A heartfelt sob wracked her body, and she started to crumble to the ground. He rushed forward, catching her before her knees hit the dirt, and gathered her into his arms.

At first, she resisted, her body coiled like a spring. She pushed at his chest, but he held firm, clutching her tighter through her brief struggle. Defeated, she went limp and fell into his embrace, wrapping her arms around his waist and tucking her head under his chin.

“Hush, honey…it’s OK.” He pressed his face into her hair as he cuddled her close. Her body shook with the force of her sobs. “It’s OK.” Keeping his hold on her, he shifted and moved a few steps backward to lean against the boulder.

With her secure in his arms, he rocked back and forth for what seemed like hours until she stopped crying and her body sagged against his. When she lifted her hand to wipe her face, he let her pull away, certain she’d try to hide from him again. “What was that about?”

She peered into his eyes. Blinked.

He waited. She dropped her gaze to the ground, and then raised her hands, covering her face for a few moments. She started to massage her temples. Two fingers on each hand moving in slow circles at each side of her head. He continued to wait. She finally managed a couple of deep breaths and then dropped her hands to her sides.

“There’s something I need to tell you. Something I probably should have told you a long time ago. But I can’t carry this secret around anymore. Not if I want to be happy for my friends.”

Shit, what kind of secret could have her so worked up? She strolled a few feet away. Squaring her shoulders, she spun around to face him. “The reason I broke up with you—” An array of emotions played across her face. Pain. Fear. Sadness. Pain, again. She closed her eyes. When she opened them and stared straight into his, they were filled with resigned determination. “I had a miscarriage.”

His mouth opened, but no words came out. He blinked a few times and swallowed. A tiny gray rabbit scampered out of the brush and froze when it spotted them. Its nose twitched as it tested whether they were friend or foe. Making its choice, it scampered away.

“Excuse me? What do you mean? When were you pregnant?”

Molly clasped her hands together, wrung them, and started to pace back and forth. She stopped. Her voice shook when she spoke. “I found out I was pregnant before our last Christmas together.”

He stumbled two steps and curled at the waist, his breath expelled in a rush. He fought to suck in some badly needed oxygen. Desperate to make sense of what she had said, he put up his hand. “Wait. That last…you were pregnant?” He paused for a long moment while the thoughts in his head swirled. A baby. “You lost our baby. And you didn’t tell me?” Ten fucking years ago. A baby.

“Yes. I planned to tell you over the holidays. It was supposed to be a surprise.”

“Why didn’t you tell me when you found out?”

“I didn’t want to distract you during exams.”

“And what about after exams?” He gritted his teeth.

“Well, by then it was…too late.”

“And then?”

“I never found a good time.” Her voice had softened to a near whisper.

“Too late? A good time? Fuck.” He caught himself before he yelled. He paused to take a calming breath. “It’s never too late to tell a guy he’s going to be a father.” He stalked toward her and grasped her shoulders in his hands. “And there’s certainly time to tell him when it’s gone.”

Tanner pushed the words out, leaving a bitter taste on his tongue. His tone sounded unforgiving, even to his own ears, but he didn’t give a damn. She paled and tried to step away, but he held her arms pinned at her sides. He finally let his hands drop away and retreated a few steps, running his fingers through his hair. “Christ, I thought we loved each other. Would have a future together.” His voice cracked. He swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat. “How could you not tell me something so fucking important?”

He stomped around the clearing. She waited him out. When he regained a modicum of restraint, he circled back to face her. “Is that why you wouldn’t see me at Christmas?”

She nodded.

“What happened?” His voice, thunderous in the silence of the small clearing, made her jump. Even the wildlife stilled.

“A few days before Christmas, I woke up bleeding. My parents rushed me to the hospital. I hadn’t told them yet either.” Her face flamed red, and she bit her lip before she looked away.

His insides ached. When he spoke, his voice came out more severe than he intended, raw with emotion. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would have been there for you. Damn it, I
should
have been there for you.”

“I didn’t want pity, and I couldn’t face the possibility of you blaming me either.”

“Blame you? Blame you for what? You didn’t give me the chance to do anything. I don’t know how I would have reacted, but I wouldn’t have blamed you for getting pregnant. Christ, I was there too.” He drove his fingers through his hair again. “You should have trusted me. I would have helped you through it.” He paced the clearing. “How far along were you?”

“About four months.”

“Four months? Four fucking months, and you didn’t say a word to me in all that time?”

“I’d only known for a few weeks.”

A painful sense of loss ruptured his soul. Not for a baby he’d known nothing about, but for not having the opportunity to share her grief, to comfort his girlfriend when she needed him most. Parenthood came with obligations. Losing the chance to become a parent also came with responsibilities. She’d taken away his responsibility.

“We’d been living together for over three years. Didn’t I mean anything to you? Didn’t you love me at all?” He paused, his body shuddering on his next exhale. “It was my baby too.” Spinning on his heel, he walked over to one of the boulders that ringed the area and, with his back to it, slid down to the ground.

* * *

Molly rested against a tree, staying while Tanner wrested with his emotions, struggling to absorb her confession. Maybe he didn’t want her here, but she couldn’t leave him just yet. She remained quiet but watchful as tears slipped from the corners of his eyes to run unchecked down his cheeks. He’d sit for a bit, jump up and pace the small clearing, and then return to perch on one of the boulders. He repeated the routine, oblivious to or most likely ignoring her presence.

When at last he stood and simply stared at her, she jumped up, brushing pine needles and grass from her backside and legs. For long moments, he continued to observe her, no expression on his face, but his suffering was palpable. She waited.

He strode toward her, his gait stiff. He stopped an inch away from her toes and regarded her in silence, his eyes dark, shuttered. He hesitated before reaching out to pull her into his arms. This time, she stepped into his embrace willingly.

He didn’t utter a word. His gentleness unraveled her. Every ounce of pain, the guilt, the heartbreak, but most of all the relief of finally sharing it with somebody, with the one somebody she should have, exploded out of her in deep, gut-wrenching sobs. The suddenness and extent of her grief surprised her, embarrassed her, but she couldn’t stop.

She cried for a lost baby, for a friend who lost ten years with his family, and she cried for losing out on the opportunity of a lifetime, a chance to spend the rest of her life with the only man she ever loved.

Chapter Seven

Her sobs switched to soft hiccups. He cupped her face in his hands and tipped her head back. He wiped away the remaining tears and then lowered his head and joined his lips to hers. He licked along the fold and into the corners of her mouth, sipping at the salty moisture captured there. If only he could absorb her pain.

A shudder racked her body as a sigh escaped. He dipped his tongue inside her mouth, stroking the tip of her tongue. Passion for this beautiful woman surged through him, leaving him shaken with the depth of his emotions for her. Deepening the kiss, heated desire swelled his cock to uncomfortable proportions.

Draping her arms around his neck, Molly pushed her fingers through his hair, made fists, and pulled his head down to hold him in place. He explored her warmth as though they had all day. His mind raced with a variety of things he wanted to do, but he put the mental brakes on, not wanting to risk her running again.

She pressed her body close. Her nipples beaded into hard little points, drilling his chest. She began to pant, stuttering every so often, the aftereffect of crying for such a long time. Her tongue tangled with his. His memories guided him as he withdrew from her lips to plant kisses from behind her ear, down to her collarbone. He licked his way back to a particularly sensitive spot below her ear. Her head fell back, exposing her throat. She twisted her head to the other side. He’d happily kiss her wherever she wanted him to.

Starting at the hollow of her throat, he swept his tongue along the soft skin on her neck. A moan bubbled from her lips, and her body quivered in his arms. He repeated the process on the other side before returning to recapture her mouth in a bruising kiss. He drilled into her mouth and anchored his hips to hers, his plea blatant. She tilted back and peered up, her eyes open, the lids heavy. Excitement sped through his body.

“I need you.” His request rough, his throat scratchy, sounded more caveman-like than he was comfortable with, but he got the point across.

* * *

Molly scanned the area around them, ensuring their little oasis remained private. Other than rabbits, squirrels, and the occasional bird, they were alone. The sun filtered through the trees creating a patchwork of shade. Earth and aroused male were the two scents strong enough to interest her. Her hands trembled as she reached out for Tanner’s shirt, her fingers fumbling with the snaps. A deep yearning overwhelmed her. Here, now, with nature their single witness she craved him. She hoped once sated, the hunger would go away.

Telling him the truth smashed down a barrier she hadn’t realized existed. She still had plenty to explain, to apologize for, but right now, at this small moment in time, this was what she wanted, and to hell with the consequences. She needed him. She had waited long enough.

She ran her hands over his chest, stopping to rub his small brown nipples into hard little pebbles, before she tipped forward to sample a taste of his flesh. She followed each brush of her lips with a flick of her tongue and a gentle bite, elated when he sucked in his breath, hissing through his teeth. Encouraged, she worked her way first across his very fine upper chest and then down the middle toward his taught belly.