Worth The Risk (3 page)

“Don’t worry this is not goodbye just goodnight.
I’ll see you in my dreams, sweetheart,” he said seductively. 

“I wonder what kind of dreams they will be, naughty or nice?
”

He let out a barely auditable moan before saying, “Get some sleep. Good night Catalina.”

“Good night Damien.” We both stayed on the line; not wanting to hang up.

“Hang up,” he demanded.

“I don’t want to stop hearing your voice.” I felt comfort with him and I didn’t want that to end.

“Me either, but you need to get some sleep sweetheart. Now hang up Catalina.”

I groaned, “Okay fine.” I blew a kiss in the phone and hung up. I drifted off to sleep with Damien on my mind.

                                     ***********************************************

After my first date with Damien things just got better and better. He had characteristics in him that I thought no longer existed in men. He took me out every Friday night to explore so many different types of cuisines in the perfect private settings. We would always meet each other a few blocks away from my house, as I was still not ready to tell my father about us. But I knew I would have no choice because things were starting to get serious between Damien and I.

One night
we decided to take a walk in the park. As we sat down on a bench, enjoying the city lights, and night breeze; he put his arm around my shoulder bringing me closer to him.

“What are you thinking about?”
I asked.

“
The first time I asked you out. I must confess I was a little skeptical about asking you.”

“Oh, why? Were you afraid I was stuck-up
?” I asked jokingly.

“No, I was more afraid yo
u would you turn me down. I knew how reserved you were and that you really didn’t give
any
guy the time of day. But I’m glad you didn’t say no, Catalina.” I always loved how he said my name. It made me feel like I was his and his alone. His hand caressed my cheek as we gazed into each other’s eyes. In Damien’s eyes I saw sincerity, kindness, passion, and often times concern; but I wasn’t sure why.

“What’s wrong?”
He asked.

“Nothing.” I didn’t want to tell him that the way h
e said my name effected me. It was already hard enough for me to control myself around him. I tried to look away from his intense gaze but he put my face in his hands to keep me still. “Talk to me Catalina.” His voice was so gentle; I knew he was probably as gentle when making love.

“I’m trying to
control myself when I’m with you Damien but its hard; especially when you say my name like that.”

He looked at me bemused.
“What do you mean? How do I say your name?”

“You know
, all sensual. Every time you say my name like that I picture you saying it while you’re inside me.” An emotion I couldn’t read crossed his face and he tensed up for a quick second. Every time sex came up in conversation Damien would always become ridge. But I never understood why. I wanted to ask him, but I was too afraid of the answer. Too afraid that maybe he still saw me as child and the thought of touching me repulsed him. There was nothing I could do about that. I couldn’t change my age. If that affected his attraction towards me, than that was something he needed to deal with himself.

“I’m sorry I said that.”

“No, don’t be. I want to know how you feel.” Hearing him say that eased some of my anxiety. Before I could answer he stopped me with a kiss. I froze for a moment, taken off guard, but returned his kiss as I regained composure. He raked his fingers through my hair as my hand caressed his face. With everything I had I tried my best to control myself, but it was a battle I couldn’t win. The need I had for him took over my body and I found myself straddling his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened our kiss. With his arms around my waist, he pulled me tighter to him. He broke our kiss to gaze into my eyes; he looked like he was trying to read me. His lips found mine again as his hands glided up and down my back, causing me to moan and instinctively slightly move on him. As my hips swayed, I could feel his erection growing underneath me. He pulled away from me and looked at me with guilt and pain on his face.

“We should stop
.” He whispered.

“W
hy?”

“Because I want you too much right now.”

“I want you too Damien. There is nothing wrong with that.”

“Catalina, we need to stop.
With the way I’m feeling right now, I would fuck you right here not caring where we are or who sees us.” The thought of him doing that turned me on.

“T
alking like that is not helping; its making me want you more.” I whispered in his ear as I nibbled on it and planted soft kisses on his neck making him let out a groan.

“Catalina please, you are really testing my self control right now. I don’t want to rush things with you.” He
abruptly stood up and gently placed me on my feet. “We should get back, its getting late.” He grabbed my hand and we walked back to his car in silence. He opened my door and I sat in the car without saying a word. We drove in painful silence the whole way back, neither of us wanting to discuss what had just happened.

When we finally reach
ed our regular drop-off and pick-up point, which was a block away from my house, he turned off the engine. Without waiting for him to do it, I opened my door, stepped out, and leaned against the car. He got out making his way around the car to me. We both stood there letting the silence stretch between us.

“You’re mad at me aren’t you?”
He finally said.

“No.” I lied.

“Catalina, don’t lie to me. I can see it on your face.”

“
Fine. Yes, I am. But I’m more hurt than angry because I feel rejected.”

“What? No.” He p
ulled me to him and put his arms around me. “Sweetheart, I’m sorry if it came off that way. Pushing you away is the last thing I want to do. I just don’t want to take advantage of you.”

“Damien you are really a gentleman and I admire that, but
right now you are being really old-fashion.”

“Its
in my nature,” he smiled. “I want to take this slow and do it right, which is why I want to tell your father about us.” I automatically tensed when he said that. I was too scared to do that. My relationship with my father was already rocky. I wanted to make things better and I didn’t think telling him about Damien and I would achieve that in any way.

“We will tell him eventua
lly just not yet. I’m not ready baby.” My voice was cracking. He could sense my tension and fear. Protectively, his arms tightened around me.

“
Alright, I’ll give you some time but not too long.” He pushed his forehead to mine, giving up on the argument.

“Kiss me Damien.” He smiled and wasted no time finding my lips.
My tongue easily slipped into his mouth and his greeted mine willingly. Things began to heat up faster than before. Our bodies molded to each other perfectly. He caressed my back and slid his hand down to my ass, cupping it firmly. A moan escaped my mouth and I could feel my panties getting wet. He gently pulled my hair to expose my neck so he could kiss it. I whispered his name encouraging him to continue. He sucked hard on my neck and the desire in me heightened. Filled with enthusiasm I moved my hand down his chest to his hard erection; but he grabbed my hand as soon as I touched him, stopping me.

“Catalina, don’t.” He had this apologetic look on his face but it looked like he was battling with himself.

“There is something else that is stopping you. Its obvious that you want me. Tell me the truth Damien. Are you repulsed to touch me because of our age difference?” I no longer cared about my fear of his answer. I was beyond frustrated. He was teasing me in the worse possible way.

“
What? No! Catalina you are beautiful. There is not a minute that goes by that I don’t want to touch you. See how hard I am for you,” he said gesturing to the big bugle that was obviously showing through his pants.

“Then why won’t you let me touch you?”

“I just don’t feel right doing this behind your father’s back. I want to enjoy being with you without having the worry of your father catching us in the back of my mind.”

“We will tell him I promi
se, but I won’t let the thought of him stop us every time we’re together.” Trying to end the conversation and continue where we left off, I kissed him. He moaned as I softly bit down on his lower lip. I took his left hand and guided it under my shirt and up to my breast.

“Touch me
Damien.” I muttered between kisses. His eyes fly open to look into mine; the desire in them was overwhelming. He caressed my breast and rolled my hard nipple in his fingers. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation; not caring where we were or who might be watching. However, my enjoyment was short lived as he suddenly stopped. My eyes opened to stare at him in confusion.

“I’m not going to do this here. You deserve to be made loved to in a bed, not in the streets, Catalina.” He released my breast and kissed me on the forehead. Not being able to stop myself, my expression turned to sadness
and disappointment. “Sweetheart don’t make that face, please. I hate seeing you so unhappy. Tomorrow night we can pick up where we left off, but in a better setting. I promise. Okay?”

“Okay.
” He took my hand and walked me to my house like he always did. Reaching the gate, he let go of my hand, and quickly kissed me softly.

“Good night Catalina.”

“Good night Damien. Call me when you get home.”

“
I will.” He smiled his sexy smile and walked back to his car.

I got inside the house
desperately needing a glass of wine. I’d fallen for a man that was ten years older than me yet it felt like we were the same age. And I was hiding our relationship from my father. I wanted to tell him, I really did. However, the fear of our relationship getting worse and Damien losing his job were the only things stopping me. Damien loved his job and I would not jeopardize that. No matter how things turned out I had no plan of letting Damien go. I finally found someone that understood and cared about me, and wanted me for me. I was not about to give that up.

I enter
ed the kitchen and I was startled to see Gigi just standing there waiting for me.
Crap!

“Gigi, you scared me.”

“I should do more than just scare you.” She looked at me sternly. “You can’t keep doing this in secret Catalina.”
How does she know?
I’ve been a ninja about this.

“Gigi what are you talking about?”

“Don’t play stupid with me young lady. I know you and Mr. Cox have been seeing each other. I see everything Catalina.” I gave her my pouting puppy face, so she could lessen her admonishment. I could see its effects working as her face softened. “Sweetpea, I want you to be happy and it seems like you are.” I nodded. “That’s good but you cannot continue to do this in secret. Your father will find out sooner or later. It will do less damage if you are the one to tell him verses him finding out on his own.”

“I know. I know. I will t
ell him soon. No worries.” I hugged her trying to quickly make my exit. I grabbed my glass of wine and headed to my room. Once I was in my bed my phone rang. Knowing it was Damien I picked up.

“I’m home safe baby.”

“I’m glad.”
I said with no life in my voice.

“Why do you sound so sad?”

“I wish I was laying in yours arms right now.”

“You wil
l be tomorrow night. I plan on making love to you for hours. By the next morning you won’t be able to walk straight.”

“Mmm, Damien you’re going to make me start touching myself
if you keep talking like that.”

“Really?
” He stayed silent for a moment. “Are you in your room?”

“Yes.”

“I want you to close your eyes and touch yourself.” I hesitated for a moment. Closing my eyes I gave in to his instructions. My hands slide down my belly and stopped at my core.

“Are you wet for me baby?”

“Yes, very wet.”

“Good girl. I want you to imagine that your hands are my hands.
That I’m touching you right now. I’m getting my fingers nice and wet, and making sure your clit gets all the attention it needs.” I moved my fingers between my folds and spread my wetness on my clit.

“I’m gently pushing my index and middle finger
inside of you, in and out, while my thumb is playing with your clit.” I followed his directions and moaned as I pushed my fingers inside my sex. “That’s right baby. You like that?”

“Yes, it feels so good.”
 

“Good. Now take your other hand and caress your breast with it.” The sensation was driving me crazy. Though it was my own hands touching me, the thought of it being Damien’s hands heightened my pleasure. I could hear his breathing become heavy. Thoughts of what he could be doing flooded my mind.