Worth Dying for (A Dying for a Living Novel Book 5) (24 page)

Jesse

I
hate flying. And by flying I mean sailing through the air into nothing, and then pinballing off the walls like a marble in an arcade game. I skid to a stop against a wall.

I pull myself into a sitting position and find that I’m hip deep in a pile of limbs.

Limbs
.

I suck in a breath as I pull myself off a severed leg here, a detached arm there. The blood dried a long time ago.

I’m up and running before I can even be fully sure I’m okay. My legs are moving and the only pair of legs I’m dealing with are my own—so that’s certainly an improvement. Breath is coming in and out of my nose. I haven’t vomited on myself. Nor have I given over to the blind panic that tells me Caldwell is going to tear me limb from limb too, the second he has the chance. And then all that’s going to be left of me will be a little pile like the one I just crawled out of.

My sneakers squeak on the tile as I try to recover the ground I lost. Rachel stands dramatically beneath an overhead light shining down on her black bob. It’s fallen forward, covering the unblemished side of her face. I knew she had a scar, but seeing it was different. It’s shiny in the harsh light. As she grins, it stretches into a ragged sneer.

Rachel yanks Maisie off her feet and her sneer cracks open. Maisie cries out and clutches her chest. I shoot fire at her legs. Rachel drops Maisie and sidesteps the flames.

“Cover your head!” I shout at her and fire bomb Rachel again. I’m trying to keep the fire off of Maisie, but I’d rather singe the kid’s hair than let Rachel hurt her worse. The worst—at least I hope—that’d give her is a flesh wound. Rachel intends to do more.

Rachel ducks into the adjacent hallway for protection.

I keep my shield up until I’m in front of Maisie, then I drop it long enough to grab ahold of the kid. In that momentary lapse, Rachel throws herself at me. Her body slams against the shield the moment I erect it again and the purple light wavers, shimmering under her assault.

She screams like a wild animal, her face contorted in a rage I didn’t even know she was capable of.

“Rachel!” I scream. “Get ahold of yourself!”

Rachel falls back off my shield and places her hands on her hips. “Give me the girl, Jessup.”

“Uh,
no
!” The shield remains fixed around us, but Maisie isn’t getting up. I speak to her without taking my eyes off Rachel. “Are you okay?”

“I think I broke my ankle,” Maisie whispers. “It hurts so bad.”

“Try to stand on it.”

“Give me the girl!” Rachel screams again. Ceiling tiles are ripped from overhead and strewn about the hallway, several ricocheting off my shield.

“No,” I say. “Come on. Pull yourself together.”

Rachel screams and the glass from two rooms explodes.

“Throw all the tantrums you want, but I’m not going to let you murder someone. She’s my sister. And you don’t want to hurt her. It’s the power talking. You’re juiced up. It’s like an addiction. You’ll get over it, like last time.”

Rachel sneers, her laughter cold. With the scar along the side of her face, still red, it makes her look all the more broken. Unhinged. “Oh Jessup. How stupid can you be?”

Well let’s see. I let a dead guy who used to be my handler convince me I should reason with a homicidal maniac, bring her back from the dark side with a little pep talk—so I think that makes me pretty stupid. I take a breath and try to figure out how to enter this conversation.

“You’re a good person,” I say. It sounds so stupid.

“Good doesn’t matter! Do you think the angels picked us because we’re
good
? Do you think they give a fuck about that? It’s about what needs to be done. When are you going to figure out there is no going back?” she snaps. “There is no happily ever after. You’re not going to save anyone from dying. You’re not going to protect the world. You’re going to die like the rest of us. Stop pretending like there’s another way. Give her to me.”

“No,” I say and I realize I’m shaking. She shoves against my shield and it ripples, acknowledging her force, but it doesn’t give. Her face screws up with more anger and frustration. Debris, shards of plaster and concrete, broken glass start to whirl around me. It’s Gloria’s vision come to life.

She intends to kill you, Gloria said. Now that I’m here it certainly looks like it. I feel stupid for arguing on Rachel’s behalf now. Gloria and Ally might be hiding in the control room now, watching all this, thinking
told you so, dumb ass.

I don’t know if killing the girl in New York actually made her stronger, or if she is drawing on our power the way Maisie and I did. Is the connection still there? Can Rachel feel me the way I can feel her? And if so, why aren’t I juiced up and crazy too?

I protect you
, Gabriel whispers through my mind. If Gabriel is still here, then Rachel must have access to Uriel too. What has he told her?

“Forget what Uriel says.” Anger hardens my voice. “We don’t have to kill each other to be the apex. We were never supposed to kill each other. Caldwell fucked that up when he killed Chaplain.”

Rachel screams like I’ve just ripped off part of her face. “Chaplain deserved to die!”

She throws herself against my shield and I step back reflexively, forgetting for a moment she can’t hit me. Maisie’s fingers bite into my arm, and I realize she’s pulled herself to standing. Rachel thrashes against the shield. Her face is a vicious mask of hate as she wails on the purple field protecting us.

“Enough!” I yell. Anger and fear wash over me. I can’t just stand here and let her wail on my shield until she exhausts herself. Who knows how long that’ll be?

My fire erupts forward, projected from my body in the same controlled way I managed earlier with Maisie’s help. It hits Rachel, knocking her back. She smacks the ground howling. She sails backwards, rolling feet over head before sprawling motionless in the center of the aisle.

“God damn it.” I break away from Maisie and run toward Rachel, collapsing to my knees beside her body.

I roll her over and see she’s conscious, but dazed. The front of her clothes are blackened, revealing raw flesh beneath. She bares her teeth at me hissing like an animal. The wounds look bad, but she’ll heal. If I can just shake her out of this, the way we did before. Maybe put her back in the asylum. She needs time. She can heal if I can buy her time.

“Damn it,” I say. The tears are hot in my eyes. “You’re a moron. There’s no reason for this. Me, you,
and
Maisie can be the apex. Together.”

She sucks in a ragged breath. “He has to die, Jessup. He
has
to.”

Rachel’s gaze slides away from mine and I have to turn and take my eyes off of her long enough to see Ally standing in the hallway, kneeling beside Maisie.

Rachel frowns. Her scowl deepens and she reaches a hand toward me. I take it, but she squirms in my grip. She places a hand over my chest and her fingers curl into claws. There’s a horrible instance where I think she’s going to try to claw my heart out of my chest.

Her scowl softens into laughter. Hideous, abrupt and crazy. “Of course. Of
fucking
course.”

“We’re friends,” I remind her, because who knows what the hell Uriel has made her believe. “I would never hurt you. And I don’t believe you’d hurt me.”

She reaches up and cups my cheek. Her lips part and an expression that any idiot would mistake for tenderness sits in her big eyes and soft lips. Until of course, her lips pull into a sneer and her hand hardens on my face.

“You have too much faith in me, Jessup.”

Rachel

I
try to seize Jessup’s heart again, but it doesn’t work for a third time.

Why?
I ask Uriel.
Why?

No answer.

My will falters. Jessup’s cheek is warm and soft in my hand. She still looks so young. So sweet.
Uriel?

“No, no, Gideon’s okay,” Ally says, consoling Maisie. “He’s only unconscious.”

I reach out for Ally. I reach out with my power and crush her heart in my grip.

Alice gasps, placing one hand on her chest. Her eyes go wide with surprise. When her eyes meet mine, her mouth parts in surprise.

“No!” Jesse’s fists ball up at her side. “Rachel, stop!”

She ignites in flames. Blue fire erupts around us and I squeeze my eyes shut. Pain rips through me and I roll away from her fire. The cinder block feels cool on my hand. I try to breathe.

My mind conjures a memory. When I was called to be a partis. I was consumed with power. I was clumsy with it and landed myself in an asylum.

But the consequences of my actions weren’t real for me until weeks later when Jesse stood in the doorway of my ward room, searching my eyes for answers I didn’t have. That had hurt more than losing my freedom, my job, and my friends. The fear on her face. The disappointment.

It’s the same look she gives me now as she watches me slump against the wall.

Once upon a time she looked up to me. She made me feel like someone worthy of admiration. Mentoring her had begun to heal a part of me that Chaplain had destroyed. With every death, every secret, every affection, every laugh, we healed. And when I got out of the asylum, I’d wanted to be that person for her again.

But by the time Brinkley had died, she didn’t need me anymore.

Caldwell takes this moment to appear.

And Jesse whirls on him, and her heartbreaking disappointment transforms into another emotion entirely. Anger.

Gloria fires two bullets into Caldwell’s chest. He disappears, but Gloria is ready for this and throws an elbow behind her, connecting with Caldwell’s jaw the moment he reappears.

Forget the girl
, Uriel says. He diverts my attention from Ally. Her heart is weakened by my attack, but it didn’t kill her. My contact was too brief.

When they are weak, exhausted from the fight, take the power for yourself.

Uriel’s plan rings true. Who cares about Ally? She’s weak and human.

I need to remain focused on one thing: taking the power for myself. Caldwell’s power. Georgia’s power. Maisie’s power—even Jesse’s. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t. After all, if Jesse doesn’t need me anymore, doesn’t admire or respect me anymore—

So be it.

She will fear me instead.

Jesse

I
can’t decide if I’m supposed to stare at Rachel or Caldwell. With two sharks in the water, I can’t afford to take my eyes off either one. But Rachel looks wounded, or at the very least, winded.

Make it up as we go
, I’d argued. And here we are. What do I need to do first? First—

We need Caldwell to stay in one place. And maybe I can keep Rachel busy at the same time. After all,
the enemy of my enemy
…

“Do your job!” I scream at her. “Hold him.”

Rachel hisses at me, her face more akin to a feral cat than human.

Caldwell staggers then stumbles to the side. He cradles his jaw. But he doesn’t jump. His eyes cut to Rachel and his hate is apparent. He roars.

“Maisie!” I scream. It’s the only warning I can manage. I reach out and tap our emotional connection. She sucks a breath and shudders beside Ally who sits slumped, clutching her chest.

I feel more power wane, slipping away from me.

No, no, no. Don’t lose focus now. Ally is okay. Or she’ll be okay. Focus, Jesse. So close—

Do not forget I am here,
Gabriel reminds me, a breeze through my mind. But his voice gives me strength nonetheless.

“Do
your
job!” Rachel wails.

I reach out and grab at Maisie’s power again, rolling it up in my own.

“Gloria!” I shout and she ducks, barely being missed by the flare of power that explodes across the hall.

Caldwell screams as the fire licks up his body.

“I can’t—” Rachel says, dropping to one knee. Thick sweat beads on her brow.

I run across the corridor and seize Caldwell before he can jump. The moment I grab hold of him, I ignite again.

He thrashes in my arms, but I don’t let go. I close my eyes and hold on tighter. He disappears, taking me with him. The unmistakable shift of worlds happens around us, but I don’t let go. Gloria and the blinding white hallway disappear, only to appear again in the light of the blue flames.

Please, Gabriel. Give me the strength to hold on. I want him dead. I want this to be over.

White hot fire slides between my ribs and I scream out. I let go for an instant before tightening my hold.

Caldwell’s lips press against my ear. “I’ve waited so long for this.”

He twists his hand and the sharp pain intensifies. I feel like he has grabbed one of my ribs and is wrenching it from my body. A battle between the pain and the itching sensation of my healing gift merge into a single unbearable burn.

He twists again and I’m screaming.

I’m dying. I know I must be dying. But my flames keep burning and I still have hold of him.

You want to burn? Let’s burn.
I said this to him once before, but hadn’t been able to deliver on my promise that time. But now—now nothing could make me let go.

My whole body shakes. I keep trying to breathe but it feels like I’m drowning. I can’t get enough air and black sparks dance in my eyes. But still I hold onto him and I burn.

When I refuse to let go, refuse to stop burning him, he begins the mental assault. He shows me beautiful image after beautiful image. Me as a baby, and the feelings of euphoria and wonder as he took me into his arms for the first time.

Me as a toddler, opening and closing my chubby fists. Wanting to be picked up.

Then on a tricycle on our street. Me in a lavender dress collecting plastic eggs in a basket. Me skipping to school with a rainbow backpack and a frog painted on my cheek.

The way he would twirl me in his arms when he picked me up. The feel of my little arms around his neck.

He wants to rob me of my anger. My hate. My fuel.

Stop
, I beg him. Because his love is more wretched than his disdain.

Gabriel, please. I can’t hold on. I can’t hold on any longer.

My flames sputter and Caldwell’s blackened face comes into focus through a thin sheen of blue fire.

Please let this be over.

The whoosh of black wings cuts through the roar of flames. A great blast of air cools my cheek and the soft scent of rain envelops me. The burning in my ribs stops. The pain leaves my body. It’s a miracle.

I am your strength
, Gabriel says. And it must be true. All of the pain is gone.

All I feel is peace.

Caldwell has stopped thrashing. We’ve reached a calm in the eye of the storm. One last image assails me, loud and clear:

Eric Sullivan hides in the shadow of a tree outside my house, watching me through my bedroom window. This must be a couple of years after his death. In my room, I’m stretched out on my belly, flipping through my school books and sucking on a ring pop, and singing the jingle from a gum commercial.

He watches me for a long time, or at least in the memory it feels like a long time, as he tries to convince himself to let me go.

I realize we have stopped moving. The white room is bright around me.

I never let you go
, Caldwell whispers.
I
couldn’t
let you go.

“Let go,” Gloria begs. “Jesse, it’s okay. You can let go.”

I’m crying.

I squeeze my eyes shut and the memories are still there. I wipe my face with the heels of my hands. I finger the wound at my side and it comes away warm and sticky with blood.

“What the fuck did he stab me with?” I shudder. I feel the holes seal themselves thanks to Jason’s healing gift, but the pain won’t go away. Whatever relief Gabriel was able to provide was temporary at best. I’m left with the last seed Caldwell planted: his regrets.

He’s given me so many scars. What’s a few more?

“This.” Gloria picks a knife off the floor. It’s slick with my blood all the way up to the end of the handle. Clearly, he buried it to the hilt.

“Hey!” Maisie screams. “Hey stop!” And I whirl expecting the worst. Georgia. Caldwell’s goons.

I didn’t expect to see Rachel leaning over Caldwell’s body.

“No! Wait!” I scream. I lunge forward but Rachel waves her hand and I’m thrown against the wall. Gloria is also caught in the blast and lands a few feet away from me. Her gun clatters to the floor.

No, no, no
. Rachel can’t absorb Caldwell powers. We can’t let her. Her mind will be beyond repair if she does. Not to mention what she’ll do to me and Maisie next.

I pull myself up to my hands and knees and scream at her. “Stop!”

Ally reaches her first. Ally was closer to Caldwell’s body and she dared take her head-on. I can only stare in horror, scrambling toward them, as Ally kicks Rachel in the face. Rachel slides back away from Caldwell’s body, giving Ally the moment she needs to put herself between Caldwell and Rachel. Rachel touches her broken nose, blood gushing down her face.

“You bitch!” she says in a thick, blood-coated voice.

Ally clutches her chest again.

“No!” I scream. “Rachel don’t hurt her! Please!”

I’m running and it’s like the hallway is a funhouse stretching longer and longer, preventing me from reaching them. Ally’s face pinches, and her breath goes shallow. A choked sound escapes her mouth. Then that’s it. Her eyes glaze and she slumps to the floor, lying side-by-side with Caldwell. Just as dead as he is.