Worse Than Being Alone (7 page)

“
I’d like a glass of Riesling,” I
said.

“
Another Washington apple martini
for me,” Jack said as he smiled at me. Everything about Jack Kyle
screamed medium; medium height, weight and hair color, a cross
between ash blond and gray. Guarded, washed out blue eyes observed
me carefully, revealing nothing. Struck by the complete lack of
expression on Jack’s face, I wondered how he had mastered keeping
such an impenetrable mask in place.

“
So, any more funny stories about
your job?” he asked as the waiter left.

“
Not really,” I said, unsure what
to say. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think this would be so
uncomfortable.”

“
It doesn’t have to be,” Jack said
as the waiter brought our drinks, handed us menus, dutifully
recited the specials, and left.

“
That steak special sounds great,”
I said, trying to make conversation. “So, you work with
computers?”

“
Yeah, I have a small business
that provides computer support,” Jack said. “I have 20 employees
who come to your house and set up or fix your computer. I like
having my own business, don’t you?”

“
Oh, yeah, that’s the only way to
go.”

“
What are you looking for, Kitty?”
Jack asked, finishing his martini.

”
Well, that’s a loaded
question.”

“
A friend, a lover, or a husband?”
he asked.

“
How about all three at some
point?” I asked as the waiter returned with another apple martini
and wine. I felt a twinge of unease, realizing Jack had probably
instructed the waiter to keep the drinks coming before I got
there.

“
I’ll have the steak special,” I
said to the waiter. “House salad with ranch and a loaded baked
potato.”

“
I’ll have the same,” Jack said as
we handed the menus back to the waiter.

When the waiter was gone I asked. “What are you
looking for, Jack?”

“
I like strong women,” Jack said
as he took another big gulp, his eyes starting to glaze over as if
they were eager to swim in a happy sea of alcohol. I had a lot of
first hand experience with that particular phenomenon.

“
What exactly does that mean,
Jack?” I asked as the waiter dropped off our salads and left.
“Strong as in independent, strong physically, what?”

“
I guess more physically,
sexually,” Jack said as his gaze landed on my breasts and remained
locked in place. Rather than feeling insulted, I thought he seemed
more pathetic than predatory as we continued our
discourse.

“
Hm, sexually?” I asked,
determined to find out if I had stumbled into a world of kinky sex
that would at least make the night memorable. “Like whips or
S&M?”

“
Nothing quite that extreme at
first,” Jack said, shaking his head. “I just like to be
dominated.”

“
So, do you like being spanked?” I
asked as I imagined wearing black leather pants, vest, and gloves
with a whip in my hand. My freak meter exploded with
activity.

“
Spanking is good.”

“
Tell me more,” I said as our
steaks and another round of drinks arrived. Jack seemed much more
interested in slogging the liquor while I ate the food with
gusto.

“
It all starts with
role-playing.”

“
So you’re the big, bad boy who
needs to be punished,” I said, staring at Jack for cues.

A knowing smile spread across his face. “I have been
bad.”

“
I’m the woman who’s going to keep
you in line,” I said, unsure what to say next.

“
I need to be tied up and
beaten.”

“
I’m fresh out of whips and
chains,” I said. “How’s your supply?”

“
I have a whole collection,” he
said.

The bantering about a world I knew nothing about
continued until the food was gone and Jack looked like his head
would crash onto the table any minute. I lost count of how many
drinks he managed to gulp down. All I know is that it took our
waiter with the nose ring and several of his co-workers to help me
stuff Jack Kyle into a cab for his solo ride home.

Chapter Twelve

The Great Flood of 1993 affected an area that
covered 745 square miles and has been called one of the most costly
and devastating events ever to occur in the United States. Damage
estimates exceeded 15 billion dollars and one man in Illinois was
given a life sentence for causing a catastrophe by breeching a
levee, ostensibly to keep his wife on the other side so he could
continue partying.

In the fall of 1992, the rain started and that
winter brought heavy snow. Spring brought more rain and a weather
pattern that continued to hammer the same area throughout the
summer. One of the areas inundated was Chesterfield Valley in St.
Louis County. For several weeks, the water blocked a major artery
in the area, Highway 64. Enormous traffic jams tied up the entire
area, virtually paralyzing businesses because people were unable to
get to work.

Roni remembered the video of the flooding as she
drove through Chesterfield Valley to meet Billy. Several levees
that surrounded the Valley had been rebuilt and strengthened after
the flood. As a result, hundreds of businesses and restaurants had
flocked to the area. Roni was amazed at the continuously growing
number that had been built, wondering if these new levees could
withstand another onslaught of rain like 1992 and 1993.

Roni was on her way to Annie
Gunns, a popular restaurant that was one of the original
inhabitants of the Valley. When the water finally receded, the
restaurant had to be rebuilt. Space was added inside as well as an
outdoor patio that was covered and now had removable sides and
heaters in the winter. Roni navigated the busy intersections,
pulled into the parking lot, and entered the dimly lit restaurant.
She removed her sunglasses to help her eyes adjust. It was a stark
contrast to the bright summer sunshine she left behind outside. She
approached the hostess, who led her to the patio, where Billy was
waiting for her.

Roni thought Billy looked uncomfortable as she
approached the table, and Billy stood, reaching over to give her a
hug. They settled into their chairs and were about to exchange
greetings when their waiter arrived. Drink orders taken and menus
in hand, they finally began their conversation.

“
How are Harley and the kids?”
Billy asked.

“
Everyone’s well,” Roni said. “Did
Emma call you?”

“
Yeah, I can’t believe I’m going
to be a great-grandpa. It seems like yesterday Emma was just a
toddler. I’m getting old.”

“
You don’t have to tell me about
that,” Roni said as the waiter brought their drinks and recited the
specials for the day.

“
I’d like potato pancake
appetizer,” Billy said. “You can try it Roni, it’s great. Then I’d
like the Chef’s burger of the day.”

“
I’d like the salad special,” Roni
said as the waiter nodded and left.

“
So, Dad, what did you want to
talk to me about?”

“
Roni, you know how hard those
years after your mother’s stroke were for all of us,” Billy said.
“I was exhausted after your mother died. And then I was alone in
that big house. I needed a fresh start. Some place without all
those memories. I gave you the house because I knew you would feel
at home there. I moved to Alton because I grew up there and it felt
right for me.”

“
I understood why you moved,
Dad.”

“
Well, I’d been really lonely
since your mom died,” Billy said. “When I met Marian I felt my life
was better. We seem compatible and I want to ask her to marry me.
She says she needs that. I guess that’s just the way our generation
is. The thing is, I won’t do it if you can’t accept it. You are
more important to me than Marian. Roni, I feel like this is my last
chance to be happy and have some kind of life. What do you
think?”

“
Don’t put this on me, Dad. Good
grief, what am I supposed to say? No, I don’t want you to be
happy.”

“
I’m glad you feel that way,”
Billy said.

“
That’s really sneaky and very
clever, Dad.”

“
I thought so, too,” Billy said,
laughing. “Seriously, though, I’ve thought about all this a lot.
Marian is old school and she feels like she couldn’t continue our
relationship if we’re not married. I respect that.”

“
So, this is the please back off
and accept my decision conversation?”

The waiter arrived with the appetizer and set it in
front of them, interrupting Billy’s response.

“
You have to try this, Roni, it’s
delicious,” Billy said.

“
OK, it’s smells incredible,” Roni
said as she put part of the pancake on her plate. “So, back to our
conversation.”

“
Well, as usual, I wouldn’t
exactly use those words,” Billy said.

“
You can clean it up anyway you
want. In the end, is that what this is about?”

“
Every issue isn’t a nail you have
to hammer, Roni,” Billy said as he put chutney and bacon on his
pancake.

“
Wow, is that what you think I
do?”

“
Sometimes,” Billy said as the
waiter took the empty appetizer plate away and replaced it with
their entrees.

“
I don’t want to hurt your
feelings,” Billy said as the waiter left. “I just want you to
understand. At my age, I realize I don’t have much time left. I
want to make the most of it. I need someone to take care of me and
to be honest, the sex is good.”

“
Too much information, Dad. No
daughter wants to hear about her father’s sex life. That’s why
you’re marrying this woman?”

“
Partly,” Billy said. “You know
the old adage about not buying the cow when you can get the milk
for free?”

“
She doesn’t want to give you free
milk?”

“
She didn’t put it that way,”
Billy said. “She’s worried about her reputation.”

“
Wow, I never thought you’d leave
me speechless but I have to admit, I’m there.”

“
I don’t want to fight with you or
Marian,” Billy said. “I don’t want to feel like I have to make a
choice. I don’t want any more dinner inquisitions.”

“
Ah, I thought that didn’t go over
so well.”

“
You’re right, it didn’t,” Billy
said. “You need to tell Kitty to back off.”

“
She was just worried about
you.”

“
I know,” Billy said. “Plus, I
wouldn’t put it past you to put her up to it.”

“
I might have mentioned some
reservations I had.”

“
Kitty took it to a whole new
level,” Billy said. “I don’t want our relationship to change,
Roni.”

“
OK, I get it.”

“
So, you’ll help your old dad out
here?” Billy asked.

“
I’ll do my best to accept Marian
and make this work, Dad. I promise.”

Chapter Thirteen

The next morning, Roni and I huddled in the back of
Harley’s van, sipping coffee from twin Starbucks cups. The tinted
windows on Harley’s van insured we would remain concealed. We
swiveled back and forth in the captain’s chairs, staring at the
entrance to the Job Simulator, the physical therapy/simulated work
facility where Ho Chi Minh was scheduled to report any minute.

“
Do you think she’ll show up?”
Roni asked.

“
I don’t know,” I said. “She’s
been going for the last couple of weeks. She has a pattern she
follows. She goes for a while and then she quits. They send her a
letter with her check informing her they’re going to stop her
benefits if she doesn’t go to therapy. She doesn’t have much choice
if she wants her money. Let me tell you, if that woman shows up,
she won’t waste any time. She’ll be gone in a flash when she’s
done. Guess whose cat had kittens in my closet?”

“
Oh, oh. I bet all your revenge
fantasies have been revived.”

“
You got that right,” I
said.

“
How many kittens are
there?”

“
Six,” I said. “They’re so small
right now. I guess Harley did OK because they had all been born by
the time I got home.”

“
What are you going to do with
them?”

“
My first thought was to let them
loose at your place,” I said. “Then I thought about what Harley
said about having a bone yard, so I guess when they’re old enough
I’ll find them a good home.”

“
That sounds good. By the way, did
you ever catch up with Mary Poppins again?”

“
Not yet,” I said. “I’m going to
see if I can nail her tomorrow. Unlike Ho, the only time she
watches for anyone is when she’s shoplifting. So, how was dinner
with Billy last night?”

“
Interesting. Billy basically
wants me to back off. He’s going to marry Marian.”

“
Wow, I was afraid of that,” I
said. “What are you going to do?”

“
I’m going to do what Billy
wants,” Roni said. “He wants you to back off, too.”

“
Why does he have to marry her?” I
complained. “What’s wrong with living in sin?”

“
Think about their age,” Roni
said. “Men my dad’s age are looking for someone to take care of
them. Throw in a little sex. Game over. By the way, how was your
date last night?”