Worse Than Being Alone (20 page)

Chapter Thirty-Four

Roni’s comment about all the anonymous perverts I
had met on the Net reverberated in my head as I got ready for my
faux date with Lionel. As much as I consciously rejected the idea
this was a date, I took my time with my hair and make-up, telling
myself it was just in case. I dressed in my semi-slut clothes,
avoiding the total slut look I sometimes employed for
surveillance.

Lionel arrived promptly at seven; forty minutes
later we were sitting on the roof of Quintessential, a popular St.
Charles restaurant known for comfortable outdoor seating. Our table
had been placed closer to the edge of the roof, affording a quiet,
intimate feel along with a killer view of the Missouri river. I
love this section of old town St. Charles, part of the Lewis and
Clark Trail and the home of the first settlement west of the
Mississippi.

Dressed in slacks and a polo shirt, Lionel looked
comfortable as the candlelight flickered in his dazzling green
eyes. We were sipping a sweet pinot gris, finding conversation a
little difficult. From my perspective, I think it was because I
wasn’t sure what the ground rules were for the relationship.

“
Have you been here before?” he
asked.

“
No, but I’ve heard good things
about it,” I said. “I was born in St. Charles; my grandparents were
married at a Church about a mile from here.”

“
Lots of history here,” he said,
smiling as he poured more wine. “How are you and Cindy doing with
Ho?”

“
Cindy went into the restaurant.
Ho took her order and money, but both times we’ve watched the
place, she didn’t stay that long. It’s like she’s checking on the
place but not really working a shift. You know, like she owns or
manages the place. Cindy is going to go back in and try to get more
info and fingerprints, if possible.”

“
That sounds good,” he said as the
waiter took our dinner orders and left.

“
Do you have photos?” he
asked.

“
Yes, I’ll e-mail the photos and
call when we get the fingerprints. I’ve been taking my time because
I’m trying to help Cindy. She’s so anxious to fit in.”

“
She has some issues, right?” he
asked.

“
Yeah, she has OCD. This is a big
deal to her.”

“
It’s nice of you to try to help
her,” he said.

“
I haven’t always been so nice. I
made fun of her in high school just like everybody else. Now I
realize we all have issues.”

“
Thank God high school is behind
us,” he said. “As you can probably guess, I was a huge nerd in high
school.”

“
I’m shocked, shocked I tell you.
So, what’s your story Lionel? Why did you join the FBI and why did
you quit? You show me yours and I’ll show you mine.”

“
You get right to it, don’t you?”
he asked as the waiter dropped off our salads.

“
Too much cyber dating. I’ve been
e-mailing men and then tried meeting them. So far, they all seem to
be hiding something they just can’t admit until they are sitting in
front of me.”

“
Like what?” he asked.

“
The first guy was an alcoholic.
Been there, done that. The second guy lived in the boonies and was
a widower with five kids under 10. He didn’t tell me any of
that.”

“
So, you don’t like kids?” he
asked.

“
No, I love kids. I have a son.
That wasn’t the problem. The real issue was living in the boonies.
I can’t do that again.”

“
How old is your son?” he
asked.

“
He’s 21. He’s a senior in
college. Look, I’m sorry to be so blunt, but what are we doing
here, Lionel? Are we colleagues having a discussion over dinner or
what?”

“
My intention was that this would
be a date,” he said as the waiter removed our salad plates and
delivered the pecan encrusted tilapia specials.

“
Is that a problem?” he asked
after the waiter left.

“
Actually, no it’s not. I just
wasn’t sure. OK, now that that’s out of the way, tell me your
story.”

“
I like you, Kitty,” he said,
laughing. “Well, after college, I was recruited by the FBI. I loved
it. I was with the behavioral analysis unit and traveled
everywhere. I married my college girlfriend and eventually, we had
twin girls. The traveling was hell on the marriage and chasing
those people changes you in ways I’m not sure I really understood
back then. My wife and I eventually separated. Didn’t faze me,
really. I was on a mission, you know. Saving the world. Then my
wife died in a car accident, and I had two little girls I barely
knew to take care of.”

“
Sometimes life just slaps you
upside the head. I’m sorry for your loss.”

“
Thanks,” he said. “It felt like a
slap upside the head, one I really had coming. Anyway, I took a
leave of absence to take care of the girls and get my head
together. My mom provided the next slap by telling me if I was
going to continue being an FBI agent I should just let her and my
dad, or my in laws, raise the girls. I realized she was
right.”

“
I think I’d like your
mom.”

“
You’re a lot alike,” he said.
“Anyway, my parents moved back here after my dad retired so I quit
the FBI and followed them. David Weller is a friend from high
school who needed a security chief. That’s my story.”

“
Wow, I like your story better
than mine. I can’t actually trace my life altering decision to any
one event. I’d liken the situation to a pressure cooker; the
pressure builds up until one day it explodes. That day, I decided
I’d just had enough. I left my husband and 17 year old son and
moved to Alaska.”

“
Sounds like you moved as far away
as possible without actually leaving the country,” he said,
chuckling.

“
There’s a lot of truth to that
idea. I’m one of 10 kids. I didn’t want to get a lot of visitors
trying to talk me out of what I was doing. I had never been alone
before and then suddenly, I had a lot of alone time to figure some
things out.”

“
Like what?” he asked.

“
I realized I should have taken my
son and left years before I finally did. I also realized one of the
biggest reasons I hadn’t was that I was afraid of being alone. I
was never alone growing up, and I was afraid I couldn’t handle it.
I was wrong.”

“
Any regrets?” he
asked.

“
I felt guilty about leaving my
son, but last night he told me that once I left, he had to stop
blaming me for his dad’s drinking. I’m more and more optimistic we
can repair our relationship. In some ways, I think my leaving was
good for both of us.”

“
You think it forced him to grow
up?” he asked.

“
I think it forced both of us to
grow up. In some ways, it was an act of courage for me to leave.
Time to be a real adult. Rely on yourself. Be a complete person. I
just should have taken him with me.”

“
I think you’re being too hard on
yourself,” he said. “He was 17; almost a man. I remember being
really snotty to my parents when I was 17. It sounds like he needed
some alone time with your husband to figure out that only his dad
is responsible for his drinking. You did him a favor.”

“
I like the way you think, Lionel.
You know, feeling afraid of being alone is a powerful thing. I
mean, I get the whole Billy and Marian thing. I really hope we’re
wrong about Marian. You know, I didn’t want to bring this up in
front of Roni, but I’ve been wondering if Marian’s children are
involved in this.”

“
What makes you think that?” he
asked.

“
Well, besides acting like a pig
and grabbing my ass at Billy’s reception, Marian’s son, Murray,
also issued a veiled threat. Something along the lines of don’t
interfere or he might see to it that Billy might not want to see
Roni anymore.”

“
That would make them team
killers,” he said. “They’re even more rare than a female serial
killer.”

“
I really hope this whole thing
turns out to be a bust just like you suggested at the
office.”

“
Statistically, that should be the
outcome,” he said as the waiter cleared the table and left the
check.

“
Do you want to split the
check?”

“
Have the dating rules changed
that much?” he asked.

“
You’re asking the wrong person. I
just didn’t want to take anything for granted.”

“
Well, we’ll just go by the old
rules OK?” he asked. “Where’s the bar we need to check
out?”

“
Right down the
street.”

“
I have to warn you,” he said. “I
can’t dance.”

Maggie’s on Main Street was only four doors down
from the restaurant; we could hear the music as soon as we hit the
sidewalk outside. Reportedly, our target was a frequent customer,
so we agreed to case the bar to see if my quarry was there.
Maggie’s was packed and we literally had to wade through the throng
to get to the bar. I spotted Tina Brown on the other side of the
bar talking to one of the bartenders.

“
That’s her on the other side of
the bar,” I said.

“
The brunette talking to the bald,
buff looking bartender?” he asked.

“
That would be the one,” I said.
“I think he might be her boyfriend. He looks like bouncer material,
don’t you think?”

“
Yeah, let’s try not to make him
mad,” he said.

“
What can I get you?” the perky
female bartender on our side of the bar asked.

“
I’ll have a Long Island iced
tea,” I said.

“
Make it two,” Lionel
said.

She brought our drinks and I paid
before Lionel could get his wallet out.

“
You bought dinner,” I said. “I’m
the reason you’re here.”

“
She’s getting
another drink,” Lionel said. “It looks like he‘s just going to keep
bringing them over
for
her
.”

“
I had hoped maybe you could ask
her to dance,” I said. “He doesn’t look like the sharing type. He
looks like the stay away from her or I’ll kill you
type.”

“
I agree, so we’ll just have to be
patient,” he said. “C’mon, let’s dance.”

We found a small table on the other side of the bar
where we put our drinks and made our way to the dance floor. Just
as we reached the floor, the music changed to a slow song.

“
Good,” Lionel said as he took me
in his arms. “It’s hard to mess up a slow one.”

“
I’m living proof white people
can’t dance,” I said as I put one hand on his shoulder and the
other one in his hand.

“
I’m glad this is a date,” I said.
“I like you, Lionel.”

“
I like you, too Kitty,” he said
as he leaned down and kissed me on the lips.

“
That’s just to throw them off,”
he said. “You know, convince them we’re not actually interested in
them.”

“
Maybe we should keep throwing
them off,” I said as Lionel bent down and performed more
subterfuge.

About that time, the music changed again to a more
upbeat song. The moment passed and it was back to business. We
continued to dance badly to the faster music. Several minutes
later, the band took a break, and we decided to get another drink.
The bartender also took a break and came out from behind the bar
with a couple of drinks. They ended up sitting a couple of tables
over from us. Tina rubbed the bartender’s buff arm in a possessive
way and he reciprocated by grabbing her leg under the table.

“
Tina looks a little loopy,”
Lionel said as the band came back and started playing
again.

Tina dragged the bartender to the dance floor as the
band started playing a faster song. Unlike our feeble attempts at
dancing, they moved with a great deal of precision and agility. We
joined them on the dance floor feeling fairly intimidated. Tina
really seemed to get lost in the music and didn’t stop even when
the bartender went back behind the bar.

Another man approached Tina and they kept dancing.
The dance floor was crowded and seemingly in response, the band
started up another set of fast songs. Tina seemed lost in her own
world, ignoring the man in front of her and everything else. The
music reached a crescendo, which caused Tina to climb on the
nearest table and escalate all her movements. I pulled out my
i-phone and snapped pictures and then a video as surreptitiously as
possible.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Roni and I agreed to meet at the office the next
morning after she got a phone call from Pete Rizzo, who wanted us
to follow a young laborer under his employ. Tim Werther claimed an
on the job injury 20 minutes into his first workday at Rizzo
Construction. Pete Rizzo, the owner of a huge construction company,
was absolutely furious at the recent rash of claims that had been
filed against him. He had phoned the adjuster, Emma Collins, at his
workers’ comp insurance company and asked about options.

Emma thought it was premature to follow Werther at
this point but Pete was adamant. He had been particularly upset
about the condescending smirk on Werther’s face when he showed up
at Rizzo’s office to collect his first comp check. Emma gave Pete
our number and when he reached Roni, he offered a bonus for
starting immediately.