Wormwood Gate (2 page)

She put the bottle down.

She headed for the sitting room, nearly bumping into Tina on the way.

‘Oh, there you are!' said Tina. ‘Listen, there's this guy I want you to meet. He's really nice, you'll like him!'

Julie narrowed her eyes. ‘Are you matchmaking again?'

Tina put her hand on her chest. ‘Me? Matchmaking? Would I do that?'

‘You don't want me to answer that, do you?'

‘Not really. Come on, he's in here.'

‘Oh … well, I suppose it won't do any harm.'

Julie let herself be led towards a pleasant-looking boy with a floppy fringe and a beer in his hand. Apparently his name was Kevin and he was at the same school as Darren, though not in the same class, and he had done much better at the exams than he'd expected, which was great, because his parents had promised him a gift of €100 for every A.

‘I wish my parents were that generous,' said Julie. ‘The most I can expect from them if I do well is warm approval.'

‘Heh. So how did you do, then?' said Kevin.

Julie could feel her smile freezing. ‘Could we talk about something else?' she said. ‘I mean, I don't … it's not that I –'

‘Well, like … like what?'

‘Anything! God, I'm just so glad to get those things behind me, I don't have to think about them ever again! I don't want to talk about them!' Julie could hear her voice growing shrill and she took a deep breath to calm herself. ‘I mean, we spent three years working towards the Junior Cert, and now it's over, right, so we don't have to talk about it any more. We don't even have to think about it. So could we talk about … I don't know. Politics. Films. Have you read any good books lately?'

Kevin looked at her warily. ‘Last thing I read was
Arthas: Rise of the Lich-King
,' he said. ‘It's a WoW tiein.'

‘Wow?'

‘You know, World of Warcraft? Do you play?'

‘Ah … no,' said Julie, her heart sinking. She had only the vaguest notion of what World of Warcraft was, and she had the awful suspicion that she'd offended Kevin irretrievably; a suspicion that was only confirmed when their conversation limped on for another couple of minutes before Kevin spotted somebody across the room he wanted to talk to and excused himself. Julie sat alone for a minute, her right foot jogging up and down nervously, then finished off her Coke in one long swallow and asked the nearest person where the bathroom was.

Once she found it, she bolted the door and leaned against it, her eyes closed and her hands pressed against her face.
It's me
, she thought.
I'm the problem. Everyone else is having a fine time. What's wrong with me?

She let her hands fall and thought of Aisling, who had seemed to understand – had seemed to know what was going on in Julie's head without being told. That didn't seem fair, to be so transparent, and to somebody she didn't even like.

Somebody knocked on the door.

‘I'll be out in a minute!' Julie said, and she scurried over to the toilet, which she flushed, not wanting people to think she'd been hogging the bathroom for no reason. She ran water over her hands and patted her face carefully, trying not to smudge her make-up, then composed her best cheerful expression with the aid of the mirror, and breezed back out into the party.

The trickle of new guests had dwindled to nothing, and Darren was looking restless. Julie cast her eyes around until they lit on Caoimhe, who was sitting by the stereo fiddling with CDs. ‘Hiya,' she said.

Caoimhe glanced up and said, ‘Oh, hi,' then let her eyes drop again. It looked like she was trying to avoid looking at Darren.

‘Think we'll be heading out soon?' Julie said in a low voice.

Caoimhe looked up. ‘That's a good idea,' she said. ‘It's early yet, but there were others that were going to come, only I don't think they're coming here. I think they thought we were going to meet at the club.'

‘Have you tried texting them?'

‘Yeah, but nothing's getting sent. I reckon the networks are overloaded tonight, with the night that's in it. Almost as bad as New Year's Eve.'

She looked over at Darren then, and Julie followed her gaze; Darren was still next to the red-haired girl, fidgeting and looking around but somehow never meeting Caoimhe's eyes.
I give it twenty minutes
, Julie thought.
And even odds that she hits him
.

Darren stood up, slapping his thighs. ‘Right, lads, will we go soon? I don't think there's any point waiting for Fitzer and that lot. If they're not here now, they won't be here tonight.'

There was a rustle and rumble of agreement and shuffling feet. Caoimhe turned off the music and stalked over to Darren. Julie turned her face away to hide a smile and trotted upstairs to get her bag from the pile of bags and coats in the spare bedroom before there was a rush. There was an ankle-length black leather coat on the top of the pile. She felt her mouth twisting as she looked at it, and she pushed it aside to pull her bag out from underneath it. The leather felt smooth and supple under her fingers, and she couldn't resist picking the coat up and hefting it in her hands. It was just as heavy as she'd thought it would be, but when she settled it around her shoulders it felt strangely comforting, more like a hug from strong arms than a heavy bag.

‘Thinking of changing your look?'

Julie slipped the coat off and back onto the bed and twirled around, scowling, in the hope that a fierce expression would hide her embarrassment. ‘How do you wear that thing?' she snapped. ‘I bet it makes you look like a drug dealer.'

Aisling smirked. ‘How do you wear
that
stuff? Don't you freeze to death?'

‘I'm not a Goth, unlike some people, so I have actual body heat.'

Aisling's smirk faded. ‘Hey, who are you calling a Goth?'

Julie stared pointedly at Aisling's T-shirt, which was black and long-sleeved and decorated with an intricate swirling pattern featuring the word GOTH in large silvery letters.

Aisling looked down at it and shrugged, unmoved. ‘It's
ironic
,' she said.

Despite herself, Julie laughed. Aisling frowned, but the edges of her mouth were twitching. ‘Anyway, gimme my coat. We're off to some stupid nightclub or other, and
unlike some people
I actually care about staying warm.'

Julie picked the coat back up and handed it to her. ‘See you,' she said, pushing past Aisling and out of the room.

It was weird, talking to Aisling like they had something in common.

The party guests took another twenty minutes to gather their belongings and finally leave – time Julie spent lurking in a corner near where Tina was talking to some boy whose name she couldn't remember. When they got going, Julie tried to stay close to Tina, but Tina flashed her a warning look, and the little laugh and head-tilt she offered to the boy a moment later was so obviously her Flirt Mode signal that Julie found she didn't even want to keep walking by her side. Tina got so boring when she was interested in somebody. It was as if her brain was a hard drive and boys were magnets.

She slowed her pace to let Tina and the boy overtake her, and let herself drift to the back of the group. Much to her discomfort, she found herself walking a little in front of Aisling, who had taken up the rearmost position. Well, that didn't have to mean that they'd talk to each other. They could walk on the same pavement without speaking. People did it all the time.

‘Oh, hey there,' said Aisling. ‘Got dumped for a boy?'

So much for that theory.

‘None of your business.'

‘Suit yourself.'

There was a pause, and Julie allowed herself to hope that it would last until they reached the club.

‘So, do you know what club we're going to?'

No such luck.

‘Em …' A few names had been mentioned, but Julie wasn't sure which was the right one. ‘No.'

‘Not that it matters,' said Aisling, as if Julie hadn't spoken at all, ‘since they're all pretty much the same. A DJ playing Top 40 hits and a bunch of wankers in white shirts and a bouncer with an attitude problem.'

Julie stopped dead. ‘Why do you come to these things if you're so above it all?' she said, spitting out the words. ‘Why do you act like you've seen everything and you know better than everyone? You're the same age as the rest of us, but you act like you're a thousand years old and you're all … all world-weary and … and jaded. But you're not!'

Aisling, who had stopped as well, folded her arms slowly across her chest. ‘I'm not into this stuff. It doesn't appeal to me. So it bores me. I get bored. I'm not pretending I know anything I don't know. I just know one thing really well: I'm not having fun. That's all I need to know.'

‘If you don't have any fun, why bother coming?' Julie asked. ‘What are you even doing here?'

Aisling raised one eyebrow, which gave Julie a momentary pang of envy; she'd always wanted to be able to do that, and she'd never managed it, not even after hours of practice in front of a mirror.

‘I'm here because Darren is a mate of mine and he wanted me to be here. But I could ask you the same question.'

‘What? Don't be ridiculous!'

Aisling lowered her hands to her hips. ‘Are you going to claim that you were having fun? I saw you, OK? I saw that look on your face. You're just as bored as me, you just pretend not to be!'

‘I am not! God, this is exactly what I was talking about! You think you know everything? You don't know anything about me!'

‘I know you're cold right now. I know Tina picked out those leggings for you –'

‘What the – were you
following
us? You –'

‘No, you idiot! I know that because those leggings are exactly Tina's style! I don't know why you're so determined to dress just like her. She's not exactly Anna Wintour.'

‘Oh, and I suppose your style is so incredibly individual, Little Miss I'm-Expressing-Myself-By-Dressing-Exactly-Like-All-My-Stupid-Spookykid-Mates!'

‘Oh,
piss off
!' Aisling turned on her heel and stomped away, a gesture made more dramatic by her heavy boots and swinging coat-tails, and less so by the fact that Julie immediately sprang forward to follow her.

‘Hit a sore spot, did I?'

‘I was wrong,' Aisling said, lengthening her stride so that Julie had to scurry to keep up with her. ‘I thought maybe we could have a civil conversation for once, but evidently that was too optimistic of me.'

‘Civil?' Julie snorted. ‘You call that civil? Hey, stop! I'm talking to you!'

Aisling stopped and whirled around to face her. ‘You're the one who started with the insults!'

‘Started? The first thing you said to me was that I'd been dumped!'

‘What? That wasn't – that was a joke! And anyway, it's not like you and Tina are –'

‘It was still mean.' Julie cringed to hear herself use that word.
Mean
. As if she were five years old again. ‘Anyway, I don't get why you're so sensitive. What have you got to be sensitive about? Are they rounding up the Goths into labour camps now?'

‘I … you …' Aisling's mouth was twitching. She covered it with her hand, but it was no good. Julie could see, and hear, that she was laughing, and she couldn't help herself; she had to laugh too. It was curiously calming.

Aisling shrugged, looking embarrassed, and glanced around. ‘Hey,' she said, ‘I think we've lost them.'

‘Lost them? What do you – oh!' There was no sign of the others, and Aisling and Julie were near a three-way junction. ‘Arsebiscuits. Do you have Darren's number?'

Aisling flashed her phone's screen at Julie. ‘Way ahead of you.' She called a number while Julie bounced up and down on her feet and rubbed her arms to keep warm. ‘Huh,' she said after a minute, ‘no signal.'

‘Oh, I think Caoimhe was talking about that. The networks are clogged or something. Here, I'll try calling Tina. Maybe my provider's having better luck.'

She fished her phone out of her bag and checked the display: no signal. Just in case, she tried calling, but that didn't work either.

‘No joy?'

‘Nope.'

‘Well, if it was just me I'd say this was the perfect excuse to go home and watch
True Blood
, but I'm guessing you'd rather join the others, right?'

Julie nodded. ‘But I don't know where they're going.'

‘If we head for the quays, we might bump into them. And we might get a signal closer to the centre of town.'

‘OK.' Julie nodded and started walking as briskly as possible in what she was pretty sure was the direction of the quays.

For a few paces, she was on her own, and it had just occurred to her to wonder whether Aisling really was going to go home and watch TV when she heard a swish and a creak by her side. ‘You don't have to come with me,' she said. ‘You could tell Darren you got lost on the way to the club and went home. It's true too.'

‘I don't feel like going home just yet,' said Aisling. ‘Besides, are you sure you want to be on your own?'

Julie scowled and folded her arms tightly across her chest. ‘I'm fine.'

‘It's getting dark –'

‘It's not that late.'

‘But town's going to be really crowded, and –' Aisling sighed. ‘Look, if you really want to get rid of me, that's fine. Just let me give you Darren's number so you can call him if you get a signal.'

Julie wasn't sure she did want to get rid of Aisling, not now that they were being kind of … almost … not
nice
, exactly, but at least friendly to each other. But she wasn't sure if she could say that without looking foolish, so she stopped walking and fished her phone out again. ‘Still no signal. Show it to me?'