Work of Art ~ the Collection (58 page)

Max gestures to my plate. “How’s your lunch, Ava? We’re going to eat here . . . why don’t we join you?”

I push my plate away, since my stomach has flip-flopped and my appetite’s gone. “The food’s delicious. But, actually, you guys, Nick and I are having a business meeting, so why don’t I catch up with you later.”

“Yes, and I need to leave soon for another meeting in a half hour. But good to see you again, Jess.”

“Likewise,” she says, while stepping back and nudging Max to follow.

Nick turns to Max while opening up his leather folder. “And it’s great to finally meet you, Max. Here’s my card. I received a proposal for a book that could include you. I think we should talk about it. Why don’t you contact my office next week, and we’ll set something up.”

Although Max is probably pissed that we’re brushing him off, he takes the card graciously. “Okay, thanks, Nick.” Their parting handshake is a little aggressive for my taste.

As Max turns to leave, a darkness flares in his eyes and he clenches his hands.

“Ava,” he says as he turns back, “I’ll see you back in our room.”

Jess looks like her eyes are going to pop out of her head, and she drags him away. Nick looks at Max and then back at me.

He actually outed us during my important business meeting?
I’m going to kill him. How could he do this? It takes everything I have not to chase him down with the butter knife. Why didn’t he just piss on me to mark his territory, tell Nick that he’d fucked me four times in the last twenty-four hours, and call me his art slut? I’m sure that’s how this looks. Does he have no regard for my professional ambitions?

“I see you and Caswell worked well together,” Nick says with an arched brow.

“I-I assure you, it was professional, Nick,” I stammer. “But we’ve become closer since the project ended.”

He chuckles. “He’s a live wire. Good luck with that one, Ava.”

The waitress returns and fills his coffee cup again.

“Look, you’re new at this, and I’m sure you have a lot to learn. I’d strongly suggest you don’t mix business with pleasure. I won’t tolerate fucking around on my projects. Are we clear?”

“Abundantly.” I fold my arms over my stomach, horrified.

“I like working with new talent. It keeps things interesting. So, every once in a while, I like to take a chance. I feel your talent is worth the gamble, despite that faux pas.”

It doesn’t feel good being chastised like a recalcitrant child and having my new relationship described as a faux pas, but I bite my tongue. I really want this job.

“I won’t let you down, Nick.”

“I’m counting on that.” He gives me one more somber look, and then we gather our things and move to the front of the restaurant. We shake hands, and he hands me the folder with my first assignment.

After instructing me to schedule one call a week, he walks out the door. I lag behind to use the restroom. By the time I reach the ladies’ room, I’m shaking with fury and grip the edge of the counter to regain my composure.

Max’s juvenile antics were so off the charts, I don’t even know what to do. We’re less than two days into a relationship, and he’s just tried to sabotage a huge work opportunity. This alone is reason enough to break up with him.

Damn it all.

I’m too angry to enjoy the art show, and I don’t want to run into Max and make a scene. I decide to return to the hotel. Even though Bishop’s Lodge is several miles away, I know a long walk is just the thing to clear my head and calm me down.

By the time I get to the room, I’m sweaty and tired, and I need a shower. When I open the door, the first thing I notice is the darkness. All the blinds and curtains are closed, so I turn on the lights.

Someone’s in the room. I gasp. It’s Max, and he’s in a chair silently waiting.

“You scared the hell out of me. What are you doing here?”

A number of charcoal drawings are scattered in front of him. There’s charcoal smeared on his hands, arms, face, and chest.

“Where have you been and why haven’t you answered my calls?” His voice is thick with fury as red blotches creep up his neck.

“You know where I was, and my phone was turned off. You crashed my party, remember?”

“That was almost two hours ago. Where’ve you been Ava?”

“I walked back from the restaurant. Where in the hell do you think I was?”

“I called over to the show, and no one had seen you. I thought you were still with Nick.”

“Doing what?”

“Precisely,” he snorts.

My mouth drops open and my nostrils flair. “Are you fucking serious? So, even though I’ve told you I’m madly in love with you and we’ve made love several times in the last twenty-four hours, you think I’m out fucking around on you? That us being together meant nothing? Are you seriously questioning my fidelity?”

He sits silently looking straight ahead, his face twisted with rage.

My voice elevates to a screech. “How dare you! How dare you question me! How dare you make me look like your slut in front of Nick!”

“He needed to know you belong to me.”

“I don’t
belong
to you, Max. And if this is your idea of what love is, I won’t even
be
with you. What you did back there could’ve destroyed this opportunity and damaged me professionally. Are you really that selfish that you have no regard for my career?”

“I’ve heard things about him, and I didn’t like the way he was looking at you.”

I scrutinize Max. His hair’s more wild than normal, and his eyes are wired and crazy. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was on drugs.

“Do you actually think that because I dated Jonathan that I’d date
every
publisher I work with? I thought I was with you. Does that count for anything? You’re acting like a goddamned caveman.”

“What in the hell do you mean you
thought
you were with me?”

“The guy I fell in love with would never do this to me. I don’t know who in the hell you are.”

He slaps the arms of his chair hard as he glares.

“What about you, Max?”

“What about me?”

“You and all your women? Since you’re acting like this, should I worry every time I leave that you’re going to fuck one of them? That I’ll come back here and find one of those whores on her knees with you in her mouth?”

“You really think I would do that when I have you? I want
your
mouth on me, Ava
. You’re
the only one I want.”

“But can’t you see? I don’t want
you
if it’s going to be like this!”

His eyes reflect the wildfire burning between us. I see the flames flare in his dilated pupils.

I yank my purse higher on my shoulder. “I’m done with this conversation. I’m not putting up with this crap.” The walls feel like they’re closing in, and I look around frantically. My instincts take over, and I turn back to the door. As I turn the handle, his hand slams up against the door.

I push his hand, but it doesn’t budge. “Move your hand. I want out of here, damn it!”

“No, you can’t leave!” he howls. “You can’t leave me, Ava.”

“What’s wrong with you? Why are you treating me like this?” I turn around and push him away.

His eyes bug out and his mouth falls open. “Because I fucking love you, and I can’t lose you. It makes me crazy, knowing someone like Nick is after you.”

He looms over me, and the heat from his fury sears my skin. His eyes are narrow slits, and he’s clenching his teeth as his chest heaves. “I lost you once; I can’t go through it again.”

He’s freaking me out, but I’m determined to stay strong. I look up into his eyes with a hard gaze. “I have no interest in Nick, nor he in me. This is ridiculous. If this is what our relationship is going to be like, Max, I’m going to have to leave. I mean it.”

“No!” he yells, and the desperate look in his eyes haunts me.

“Yes.”

I gasp as he leans in, grabs my shoulders and presses his forehead against mine.

“Fuck no, Ava.”

“Damn you, Max.” I push him away again. “I’m furious . . . Are you trying to make me hate you?”

“Go ahead and hate me . . . as long as you don’t leave me, Ava. Damn it all. I fucking need you.”

Some of the black charcoal has rubbed off on my skin and the marks shock me. “This is so screwed up . . .” The anger has intensified every nerve ending in my body until I’m humming like a loose wire about to crackle and pop.

I push past him and step back into the room. Taking several deep breaths to calm my racing mind, I finally find my voice again.

“I need some time alone to think this out, Max. So either I leave or you leave. Which is it going to be?”

He stares at me, gasping with a ragged breath, and I make the mistake of looking into his eyes. They are the most brilliant steel gray, full of desperation, furor, and longing.

“Ava,” he begs as he reaches for me.

I know he can’t stand the idea of me leaving, but I can’t think with him falling apart around me.

“You or me?” I demand.

He looks between the door and me. With a look of defeat, he storms outside.

I watch him stride away until the door swings shut. The click of the automatic lock rips through me like a shot, and I stumble into the bedroom as my eyes fill with tears. I grab the box of tissue before falling onto the bed. I can’t even fathom how quickly things crumbled between us, and I feel hopeless. How could we be on top of the world this morning and sink so low a few hours later? It’s more than I can comprehend.

I cling to a pillow, crying until I’m hollow inside. Drained, I lie in a daze for what feels like hours, when in reality, it’s just over an hour later when I hear Max let himself back in the room. He sets his things down on the living room table and washes his hands in the bathroom. A minute later, the edge of the bed sinks down. I can smell his fear in the air. There’s a long silence before he speaks.

“I’m sorry, Ava . . . I’m sorry.”

I can’t bear the anguish in his voice, and I find new tears to cry. We’ve broken each other so quickly.

“You know I can’t do this,” I say with a shaky breath.

“I know,” he admits with an anguished tone.

“I’m still furious, Max. I love you, but if you can’t trust me, we can’t be together.”

He hesitates and sighs. “This is how dark I get, and I hate it. When I saw you with him, I came completely unglued. Logic went right out the window.”

“You scared me.”

“I know,” he whispers.

He’s much calmer and appears rational, and when he asks me if he can lie down next to me, I agree.

He gets on the bed and lies still for several minutes, the room silent other than my sniffling and his measured breathing. Waves of hopelessness, tempered by an instinct to stay and work on things, run through me, and I finally accept that what we have together is more than I can walk away from.

I clear my throat. “What are we going to do?”

His voice is quiet but sure. “I have to fix this. It’s killing me that I hurt you and your faith in us.”

He gently lays his hand on my shoulder. “I want to be better for you. When I got back from the restaurant, I tried to call my therapist, but her service said she couldn’t call me back until three. I finally talked to her after you made me leave.”

I have a flicker of hope that comes from him asking for help without my prompting. He knew he was in trouble.

“I’m relieved you called her. You know I can’t be the one to help you with this stuff. Some of it is over my head, and when it affects me—much like what happened today—I get too upset to think straight.”

“I know.” He sounds desperately unhappy.

I pull the pillow against me, and turn to face him. He’s fighting back what I assume to be frustration from how tightly his fists are clenched. I stroke his cheek.

“I’m not Chloe, Max. I’ve lived enough life to know our relationship means everything to me. And when I told you I loved you, it means that I’ll always be honest about our relationship, because it’s the only way it’ll work.”

He closes his eyes tightly, as if he’s in pain, and I stroke his other cheek.

“Nothing about us is like what Chloe and I had. You’re so much more. That’s why I’m terrified to lose you.”

I know he wants to be good for me, but he’ll have to fight his natural instincts. He wants to control and possess me, but I’ll never allow that.

We’re still figuring out how to be together. Between his past scars and my abandonment issues, we both have a lot to work out to be the type of couple I hope we can be. I place my hand on his chest over his heart.

“Help me want to stay, Max. Give me my space and your trust. I need your respect, but most of all, treat me with love . . . always.”

“Oh, Ava.” He pulls me into his arms.

Even though we’re frightened and raw, this time when I rest my head on his shoulder, I feel hope that we can unfold our hearts so that they can lay open to each other once again.

Chapter Sixteen / The Enchanted Land

The main thing is to be moved, to love, to hope, to tremble, to live.

~Auguste Rodin

W
e’re in each other’s arms, and I try to imagine a time when we can be a regular couple, making plans and sharing stories about each other’s days, instead of all passion and emotion.

When we faced the light, we were tender reverence, writing poetry with fingertips across each other’s skin, but when the darkness came, it was fierce. We set fire to the structure we’d built and angrily watched it burn. We may have fought in combat, passionately electrified, but we finished our war, battle-worn and unsure.

Finally, I slide out of bed. “I’m going to take a shower.”

“Can I join you?” he asks with a tentative voice.

“Would it be okay if I do it alone? I need some more time to myself. I think I’ll walk around town a bit to clear my head.”

He nods and his expression gets cloudy before he turns away. I imagine he’s disappointed, but he needs to give me the space and he knows it.

As the hot water rushes over me, I wonder how his phone call with his therapist went. I’m curious what she said about our relationship. The last time he saw her, we weren’t together, and now we’ve quickly woven our hearts together in a fragile patchwork quilt.