Words Heard in Silence (28 page)

Both Charlie and Rebecca burst out laughing. They needed that after the visit.

"Now, if you will excuse me, I would like to get cleaned up and get a little rest before dinner."

They watched their friend leave then Rebecca turned to Charlie, "Now, where were we?"

He smiled gently and drew her back into his arms, "I believe, Mrs. Gaines, I was about to do something I have wanted to do for a long time." Slowly, gently, tenderly, passionately and possessively, Charlie kissed her, putting into his touch all the wanting and yearning he had in his soul.

Rebecca responded to Charlie’s gentle touch and his slow demonstration of affection. She had never been kissed this way before in her life and she could not help it when the moan escaped her lips while Charlie continued to kiss her. Her entire body tingled, alive with a feeling she had never felt before. It was as if Charlie was touching her very soul with his kindness and tenderness.

Her eyes remained closed when Charlie’s lips left hers and she immediately felt the loss. She was grounded to the here and now by the gentle hold Charlie had on her face, with it gingerly cupped between his hands. Slowly her eyes opened and she looked at his smiling face. At this very moment, Rebecca Gaines lost her heart completely.

Without a word, Charlie leaned back against the couch and pulled Rebecca into his arms, holding her there close to his thundering heart. A place that Rebecca was more than willing to be.

P
olk looked around the dinner table; all three of his companions were strangely quiet, but all smiling like the cat that ate the canary. He watched with fascination; Miss Rebecca would look to the Colonel then lower her eyes like a schoolgirl with her first crush. The Colonel, on the other hand, kept his eyes mostly locked on his plate while trying to hide the smile on his face. Polk looked to Elizabeth who had a thoughtful look on her face.

"Did I miss an amusing story?" He asked, sipping from a glass of wine.

"No, Polk. I assure you there is nothing funny going on." Charlie gave is second in command a glance.

"Then why are you all smiling?"

"We are not." Elizabeth offered him a gentle smile.

"Absolutely not." Rebecca said, hiding her own smile behind her dinner napkin.

"Uh-huh." Polk replied skeptically, once again looking at each of his companions in turn.

"Richard," Charlie spoke up before further prodding could embarrass any of them. "Why do not we step out on the porch and have a cigar?"

Rebecca laid her hand on Charlie’s arm. "Colonel, please, go to the parlor and have your cigar. It is very chilly out tonight. I will prepare a digestive that we might all enjoy if you and Colonel Polk would be so good as to start a fire."

Charlie rose from the table. "Our pleasure. Come along, Polk."

Rebecca waited until they were gone from the room before turning to Elizabeth. "I am in love."

Elizabeth smiled. "You are sure?"

"Absolutely. Oh, Elizabeth, when Charlie kissed me today……" She stopped and just shook her head, her smile bright. "I had no idea that affection could be like that." She leaned forward as if to tell a deep secret. "So tender. So passionate. I felt wanted and needed and very loved."

"I am happy for you, Rebecca. I truly am. Just remember our dear Charlie is fragile and he is opening his heart for the first time in his life. Be gentle."

"I promise."

"A
ll right." Polk nudged Charlie’s shoulder, handing him a cigar when he looked up from his place in front of the hearth. "Now that we are away from the ladies, perhaps you will tell me."

Charlie finished tending the fire before standing and lighting his cigar. "What would you like to know?"

"Damn it, Charlie, do you have to be so stubborn all the time?"

"Was that a rhetorical question?" The Colonel smiled, taking the first puff of his cigar.

"You are intentionally trying to drive me insane."

"No, I am not, my friend. I am just getting accustomed to the fact that I have done something here in this beautiful country that I have never done before."

"And that is?"

"I believe I have had my heart captured by our hostess. I do believe I am falling in love with Miss Rebecca."

Polk blinked, not believing the words coming out of his friend’s mouth. "Love? Charlie just because you have found a little……um relief, with the lady, that is no reason to get silly over it."

"Richard, would you call your friendship with Elizabeth 'silly'?"

"No, but Elizabeth is not a Confederate widow either. She is a member of our own Union. Charlie this is dangerous. You are a career Army officer. You know as well as I do that you are on the short list for a fort command in the western territories when this is over."

"Richard, I have been in service to this country for almost twenty years. I am tired. Tired of the killing. Tired of the mud. Tired of the blood, and the heat and the cold. Tired of having no place I can call home. For the past four years, I have killed men and boys who are from my own country, my own state, even. I do not belong anywhere any more. I want a place where I belong."

"And you think you belong here, with her? I am not trying to cause you distress, Charlie. I am just playing devil’s advocate. How does she feel about you?"

"She is taking it slow and carefully, but I think she wants me. Wants me to be here with her. At least, I hope so."

Polk sat down in the chair nearest the fireplace and just shook his head. "I have known you for nearly thirteen years, Charlie, and this is the first time I have ever heard you talk like this." He looked up to his friend. "So what are your plans?"

"This is so new, we really have not had time to make plans. I think the war will be over soon, so I will see my duty out with it, then we will have to see."

The second in command sighed, and then smiled at his friend. "Well, Charlie, if this is what you want and she truly makes you happy, I shall look forward to dancing at your wedding."

"I fully expect you to be there, my friend. Um.... Perhaps? Um... Well, that is, if she accepts my offer, um..."

"Yes?"

Well, if she accepts my offer, I would like my executive officer to stand with me."

"I would be honored, Charlie. It will be my pleasure to give you to someone else that will have to put up with your bullheaded ways. I hope the lady has better luck with you than I have."

Charlie laughed out loud, a full, rich laugh unlike any Richard had ever heard.

"Yes, I do think this lady is good for you. Congratulations, my friend."

"Well, my friend, first I have to get her to say yes."

Richard rolled his eyes. "Somehow I think you will have no problems."

Elizabeth cleared her throat as she and Rebecca entered the room. "I hope you boys are done talking about us."

Charlie and Richard both executed courtly bows. "Never, Mesdames, never when there are such lovely ladies to fascinate us." Charlie was being the charming Charlestonian.

Elizabeth shared a smile with Rebecca. "Such romantic gentlemen we have before us Rebecca."

"Indeed." She winked at Charlie before setting the tray on the table. "They do know how to turn a lady’s head. I know Colonel Redmond certainly turned a couple earlier today."

Both men remained standing by the fireplace as the ladies settled themselves. "And which heads would you be referring to, Miss Rebecca?"

"Well. It seems that two of Culpeper’s young ladies seem to have an eye for our charming Colonel."

Charlie's right eyebrow raised. "I hardly think so."

Rebecca giggled at Charlie’s response. "Please, Colonel Redmond. Those two were eyeing you like you were the catch of the day." She poured a glass for him and held it out. "The moment you said hello, they simply melted."

"I hardly think so, Miss Rebecca. More likely they wilted under Mrs. Williams onslaught."

Elizabeth chuckled. "Hardly. I heard them whispering about you as they were leaving. Miss Reynolds thinks you are just the most handsome thing she has ever seen and Miss Simms thinks you have wonderful blue eyes."

Charlie blushed. "Clearly the result of an extended lack of masculine company. Were we at peace, they would not have looked at me twice."

Now it was Rebecca’s turn to laugh. "Right." She tried to quell the laughter by sipping her brandy. "Colonel Polk, has Colonel Redmond always been delusional or is this something new?"

"Charlie has always been a modest gentleman, and rarely one for the ladies."

"Then I believe I am doubly honored to have caught the Colonel’s eye."

"My dear lady, you have caught more than my eye." Charlie dropped to his knee beside Rebecca's chair and gathered her hand into his.

She smiled, feeling him running his thumb over her hand. "Have I?"

He looked into her eyes and asked, "Can you doubt it, dear heart?"

Rebecca reached out, tracing her finger down Charlie’s cheek. "Not when you look at me like this." She brushed her thumb over Charlie’s chin. "You have indeed won my heart, Charlie."

Charlie gathered her hands in his and turned them, tenderly kissing the palm of each. Elizabeth and Polk quietly slipped out of the room, leaving the two lovers to themselves.

R
ebecca removed her dress, placing it in her sitting room for Lizbet to collect for laundering. Dressed in her chemise she returned to her bedroom and turned down the bed. She puttered around the room absently, readying it for the night, while waiting for Charlie to come in. He had gone to the infirmary with Elizabeth to check on the condition of Major Montgomery.

She pulled her nightgown from the dresser and placed it on the bed. Then she slowly began undoing the buttons of her chemise. She slid it from her shoulders then gathering it at the waist she bent to push it to the floor. Stepping out of it, she turned to find Charlie standing in the doorway.

Suddenly she was frozen, the sound of her heart pounding loud and hard in her ears. A huge part of her hoped that the Colonel would come take advantage of the situation by laying his hands on her.

Charlie stood like a statue, drinking in the beauty of this woman with his eyes, torn between offering her the privilege of privacy and taking her in his arms then and there.

Finally, he remembered to breath. "Rebecca?"

The sound of his voice broke her entranced state. Startled, she reached for her nightgown, and quickly pulled it over her head. She could not look at him; her embarrassment and shame were too great.

Charlie stood there the whole time, his eyes closed, his breathing shallow. He was trembling. The voice in his head was alternating between screaming at him for being an unmannered, ungrateful clod for taking advantage of Rebecca like this, and laughing at him for dreaming that she could really love him. Between the aching want that burned through his chest and the black truth that he could never have the love he so craved, it took everything that Charlie was to remain standing. He wanted to curl around that searing pain and try to find some surcease, if only for a little while.

"Forgive me, Colonel. I did not hear you come in." She kept her eyes on the floor, too embarrassed to look at him.
He must think I am awful for letting him catch me like that.

Charlie looked up at her, confused, in pain. She was saying something to him. He could not quite understand the words coming from her mouth. All he could see was that she could not look him in the eyes. "Ahhh. Uhhh. I am sorry. I did not mean to intrude." Somehow, he had to get away, but he could not seem to get his feet to work.

"You did not intrude. It is your room too. I should have changed in the other room." She gestured to the door. "I am sorry, I did not mean to embarrass you."

Charlie swallowed, hard. Somehow, he needed to get his voice back, his control back. "You did not embarrass me, dear. It is just that you are so beautiful, you take my breath away."

I am beautiful? Oh, he has been alone too long.
She blushed at the compliment. "You are very kind to say such things, Charlie."

He took one step toward her. His voice dropped to a deep rumble. "I am not kind. I am truthful. To me, you are beautiful." If she had had the courage to look, she would have seen the truth of those words shining out of his eyes.

She did look to him. She smiled, trying not to cry at his kindness. "Charlie, you are the first person to ever tell me that. Is it any wonder you have won my heart?"

He saw the tears threatening to fall, the pain in her eyes. Like a moth drawn to a candle flame, he moved close, gently cupping her chin in his hand. He whispered to her, caught in a moment of awe and longing. The pain burned in his chest. Here was the only cure for the pain that ate his soul away. "Rebecca, dearest lady, you are beautiful. Your face is beautiful, your eyes are as lovely as the new green of spring, and your body draws me so that I want to hold and caress and protect you for the rest of my life. And your heart and soul are pure beauty." He knew that she saw him as a man. He knew that when the reality of loving one such as he was truly sunk home, she would go. He knew that when it did, she would take with her more than his heart. She would take his soul, too.

She placed her hands on his chest, looking at him to try to make him understand her simple words. "I love you, Charlie. And I want to know if you will do something for me."

"I will do anything you ask of me."

"I know what I feel for you is true, Charlie; that I love you. I know what that means and all that goes with it. I need you to trust me, Charlie, to help me, to go slow and easy. I have desires I have never felt before and I find them a bit frightening. I need to learn to deal with them."