Words (38 page)

And He's used me to save her. To rescue her from a prison of silence and shame. She will have much to deal with in the years to come, but He's given me the privilege of showing her His love, His protection, and His providence.

Unabashed tears slip down my cheeks as I'm humbled before Him. Just before my daddy says, "Amen," I offer my own silent words of gratitude.

Thank You. Oh, thank You so much . . .

CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO

Kaylee

I've put new words in my box this year. Words like
truth
and
sacrifice
and
grace.
They aren't hard words, but they're important words.

Actually, they're imperative.

Grace is something you don't deserve, like a gold star on a math paper that has all the wrong answers. Or like going to see my mom in jail and hearing her say, even after I'd told the truth about her, "I love you, Kaylee. I'm so sorry for everything I put you through. Someday I hope you can forgive me."

Grace is also the love of Jesus, who died for us when we didn't deserve it. That's also the definition of sacrifice. I had to make a sacrifice too. I had to tell the truth about my mom. And about him. The truth was a sacrifice because it meant I had to let go of my mom, at least for now. But I did it because she needed my help and that was the only way I could really help her.

Sometimes keeping a secret seems like the right thing to do because telling the truth might hurt someone and make it seem like you don't love them. But really, telling the truth is the right thing to do. It's the most loving thing to do. I learned that this year. Just like I learned that when you do that, then you can let the Truth, Jesus, work out the details.

He's really good at that.

The other word I've added to my box this year is
love.
The dictionary defines love like this:
love
—1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. That's like Pete and Sierra. Or 2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. That's like me and Sierra.

But really, love is more than that. It's when Van's fur tickles my face and makes me giggle. Or it's when Sierra lets me climb in bed with her in the mornings, even before it's light outside. It's when Pete sits at the kitchen table and helps me with my math homework, even when I don't want to do it. Or when he helps me work through my feelings, which sometimes I don't want to do either. It's when Ruby invites me over to her studio, and lets me play with her clay, and then shows me how to make something out of it. It's when Dr. Beth asks me hard questions and is patient when I can't find the words to answer her. Love is when my new friend, Sarah, let me wear her cute new sweater to Sunday school and didn't even tell anyone it was hers!

Love is just a word until you put actions to it. The actions make the word true. It's John 1:1: "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." Pete finally explained that verse to me. Jesus is the Word—the most important word. When God sent Jesus to Earth as a baby, that was God's expression of His love. That was the action that made His love true.

"For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son."

He gave His Word.

I used to collect words because I thought they could protect me. And they did, in a way. They gave me something to focus on so I didn't have to focus on what was happening to me. I see now that my box of words in my mind was a gift from God, wrapped in pretty flowered paper, meant to comfort me when things were hard.

But the words couldn't save me.

The words were superfluous.

Only
the
Word could save me and set me free.

And He did.

Dear Reader,

Kaylee's story is my story. It's also the story of one in four women who are sexually abused before they reach the age of eighteen. For just a moment, count off. Think of your friends, coworkers, family members—how many women do you know? One quarter of those women have likely suffered the indignity of sexual abuse. You may not know who they are—survivors are adept secret keepers—but they're in your life and they're in desperate need of the gracious love of Jesus Christ, experienced through you.

Or maybe Kaylee's story is also your story. Like my own story, the setting and circumstances differ, but we're a sisterhood woven together by a thread of shame. Please know that it's you I prayed for as I wrote—though I didn't know your name or your face. I do know a bit of your pain, and I asked for God's tender embrace as you read. And I continue to pray that, like Kaylee, you'll allow the truth to set you free.

Ultimately
Words
is a story of the redemptive work of
the
Word, Jesus Christ. Sierra represents each of us—she is a sinner in need of salvation. Whether your sin is drug abuse or doubt, promiscuity or pride, you're a sinner in need of a Savior. But not only does Jesus Christ offer us salvation and the hope of eternity spent in His presence, He also offers us redemption here on Earth. In
Words
Christ redeemed Sierra's pain—the loss of her baby and the shame of her drug abuse—by bringing Kaylee into her life.

Christ is also redeeming the pain of my past. I, like Kaylee, found comfort in words as a child. As soon as I could read, I escaped the pain of abuse by losing myself in stories. I had no idea then that God would one day use my written stories for His glory or the pain I suffered to help comfort others.

God promises to "cause all things to work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose" (Rom. 8:28). God takes our shame—whether suffered through the sins of others upon us or through our own sin—and He uses it for good. Think about that . . . Isn't it awe-inspiring? Not only has God defeated the enemy for all time, but He defeats him moment by moment in each of our lives when we surrender ourselves to His redemptive work.

For additional information about God's redemptive work and to find resources for abuse survivors, please visit my website: www.ginnyyttrup.com. While you're there, drop me a note. I'd love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Ginny

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. As with Kaylee, victims of childhood sexual abuse often lose their “voice.” What types of circumstances silence you? How do you gain the courage to speak up when you’d rather remain quiet?

2. Kaylee attempts to be invisible to her abuser by not speaking. Have circumstances in your life ever made you wish you were invisible? How did you deal with that?

3. Kaylee finds comfort in the words she reads in the dictionary. Who or what do you turn to for comfort?

4. Read the following verses. What do they say to us about the source of our comfort? (see Psalm 119:50; Isaiah 5:12; 2 Corinthians 1:3–4)

5. Sierra expresses her emotions through art. How do you express difficult emotions?

6. Sierra struggles to accept God’s forgiveness. Many of us share that struggle. How can we, as Christ’s followers, truly embrace God’s grace in those difficult areas of our lives? (see Matthew 11:28)

7. Which character impacted you most, Kaylee or Sierra? Why?

8. Kaylee is afraid to speak truth because it may wound her mother. Many of us have had times when we were afraid to reveal truth because it might hurt someone else. What guidelines can we find in Scripture for such situations?

9. John 8:32 says: “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Several of the characters in this story lived with untruth in their lives—lies they believed about themselves, about others, or about God. Others kept secrets rather than speak truth. How did living this way affect them? How could we apply John 8:32 to these situations? How can you apply it in your own life?

10. What do you think the redwood trees in
Words
represent?

11. What displays God’s power to you?

12. Sierra’s dad encourages her to look beyond a person’s actions to see that person’s heart—to look for what’s causing that person to act as he or she does. This was to help Sierra better understand people. How might this advice change the way you look at others?

13. It is easy to judge those who are different than we are. Did Kaylee’s, Sierra’s, and Kathryn’s experiences give you new understanding of what others may suffer? What impact will that insight have on the way you see others?

14. Sierra changes her name in the story to signify a new season of her life. The Bible references God giving each of us a new name (see Isaiah 62:2; Revelation 2:17). What would you like your new name to signify?

15. Pete expressed both anger with and compassion for Kaylee’s abuser. How did Pete’s reaction impact you? (see Matthew 18:5)

16. John 1:1 refers to Christ as
the Word.
This name for Christ becomes significant to Kaylee because of her love for words. What names for God are significant to you and why?

17. God promises to restore what’s been lost in our lives (see Joel 2:25). What would you like God to restore in your life?

18. In the final scene of
Words,
Kaylee lists the ways she’s experienced love. In what ways are you experiencing God’s love in your life?