Woman with a Secret (25 page)

“The man you’re describing sounds like a monster,” Sam said, feeling queasy. “You said before that you’d have gone back to him. Both of you said it. Is it really true?”

“I hope not. I fear yes.” Abigail gave Sam a
c’est-la-vie
look.

Verity nodded in confirmation.

“Why?”

“If he’d wanted us back—either of us—he’d have produced such a dazzling display of fresh-start, new-leaf high romance that we’d have ended up believing we’d never see his cruel streak again,” said Abigail. “Damon at his best was irresistible.”

“Did he do the same to you?” Sam asked her. “Keep a list of everything you did that he disapproved of?”

“I’m sure he did, but he never said so. Yes, I’m certain he did, thinking about it. I don’t think he could help himself. On the eve of our wedding, he told me that I was ‘verging on hefty’—those were his exact words—even though I’m actually not at all overweight and nor was I then. And he couldn’t bear it if my nail varnish was chipped.” Abigail waved her hands in the air. No chips in the pink that Sam could detect.

“There was a morning on our honeymoon when I woke up and found him sitting beside me in bed, crying,” she said. “I was frantic, as you might imagine. He wouldn’t talk, wouldn’t explain what was wrong, however much I begged him to. He left the room without a word and disappeared for most of the day. I thought I must have talked in my sleep, declared undying love for one of my exes or something. When Damon finally turned up again, he told me that if I ever snored again the way I had the night before, he would leave me and never come back.”

“Snored?” Sam could hardly believe what he was hearing.

Abigail nodded. “Snoring—the antithesis of femininity, according to Damon. I’m a quick learner. I didn’t snore again, though I didn’t sleep properly either. Half of my brain had to stay awake, on the lookout. And I made sure my nail polish was always immaculate, but . . . once Vet and I became friends and she told me about the list of criticisms he threw at her, I realized that all my efforts were in vain. For every flaw of mine that Damon upbraided me for, there would have been at least another forty he silently resented.”

“You’ve both described a man who couldn’t tolerate any kind of deviation from unrealistic perfection,” said Sam.

“That’s true, but only of the women he fell in love with and put on pedestals,” said Abigail. “He liked his male friends to be as flawed as possible—outrageously so, ideally. Damon’s fantasy dinner party would consist of sociopathic, objectionable men and perfect, beautiful women.”

“So what was he playing at with wife number three?” Verity said bitterly. She looked at Sam. “You’ve met the latest Mrs. Damon Blundy, I take it?”

Sam nodded.

“It’s out of the question that Damon would have loved a woman like that,” said Abigail. “What did he want with her? Why did he keep her so long?”

“You asked before if we could imagine Damon being a consistently kind, loving husband,” said Verity. “Is that how Hannah described him?”

Sam saw no reason why he shouldn’t answer honestly. “Yes, it was.”

“Well, then either she’s lying or . . .” Verity broke off.

“Or what?” Sam asked.

“Or Damon was planning something,” said Abigail. “If I were you, I’d be wondering pretty hard about what that something was, and who might have found out about it and decided to stop him.”

“IT SOUNDS WHINY TO
say, ‘Why me?’ but I have wondered why me, many times,” Keiran Holland told Sellers. “I’d never written a word against Damon, never even mentioned him. Yes, I’d expressed opinions he disagreed with, and I know bullies like him need targets, and anyone will do, but he did seem to have a special antipathy toward me in particular.”

They were in a room Holland had described without cracking a smile as “the drawing room” in the journalist’s home in Wandsworth. Holland’s wife, Iona Dennis, sat in a wing-backed armchair in the corner, apparently happy to let her husband do all the talking. She hadn’t spoken yet, and had greeted Sellers, when Holland had introduced
him, with a silent smile. She had a book on her knee with her own name on the spine. Sellers assumed it was either by her or about her. The former seemed more likely.

“And Paula Riddiough,” he said. “Damon Blundy attacked her as often as he attacked you.” Seconds after mentioning Riddiough’s name, he regretted it. Holland looked stricken, and Iona turned her face away, as if the former MP’s name were a rock Sellers had lobbed at her.

This is what cheating does to people. This is the reality. Say the wrong name in the wrong house and the whole house falls down
.

Sellers banished the disturbing thought from his mind.

“Oh no he didn’t,” said Holland, once he’d recovered. “He didn’t savage her nearly as often—I’ve actually compiled the statistics: I can prove it to you. And even when he did go for Paula, it wasn’t with quite the same loathing that he reserved only for me. With most of Damon’s attacks on people, there was a sort of affection about them that you could just about detect around the edges of his hostility, but not with me. He unequivocally hated me—and, as I say, I have no idea why. I mean, it can’t have been snobbery—yes, I grew up on a northern council estate and my parents were a drain on the state, but . . .”

Sellers waited for him to say, “. . . but I now have a drawing room.” Holland didn’t sound as if he had grown up on a northern council estate. Sellers came from exactly that background himself and had the accent to match, even after twenty years in the Culver Valley.

“No, I don’t think it was that,” Holland went on. “Damon was extremely right wing, but he wasn’t a social-class snob. He didn’t care where anyone came from. And, all right I’ve got a column in the
Times
and he’s stuck at the
Herald
, but he’d certainly have regarded that as a win for
him
, not me. He’d have cited the
Herald
’s huge readership in comparison with the
Times
’s, as if that were what mattered.”

Sellers kept his mouth shut, sipped his tea and wondered what did matter about a newspaper if not how many people read it. Perhaps
that it should be read by the right people—was that what Holland was implying?

Listening to Holland eliminate reason after reason why Damon Blundy had chosen to persecute him, Sellers started to feel irritated. The focus of this conversation so far was all wrong. An alien beamed down from a spaceship into this room and told only that a policeman was here to investigate a terrible crime could be forgiven for thinking that Keiran Holland was the victim and Damon Blundy the perpetrator.

Rather than the other way around?

“Mr. Holland,” Sellers cut into the ongoing monologue, “I need to ask you some questions about Monday morning. That’s when Damon was killed. You’re not under any suspicion, and this is just a routine question, but . . .”

“Where was I? Walking. Thinking. I often go for long walks when I’ve got a piece to write. It clears my mind.”

“Where did you walk?”

Holland’s forehead creased as he considered the question. “Um . . . I can’t say I remember exactly. Around and about. On the common, around the streets. I tend to just amble about.”

“Where were you, Mrs. Holland?”

“Ms. Dennis,” Iona corrected him. “I was at my publisher’s offices. I’ll give you my editor’s email, if you like.”

“That would be helpful.”

“I’m sure there are wives who’d murder anyone who said a bad word about their husbands, but I’m not one of them,” Iona added with a smile.

“Though you’ve been very supportive whenever Damon’s attacked me,” said Holland, speaking to his wife but looking at Sellers to make sure he got the point. “No, as I say, I’ve no idea why he zeroed in on me and set about proving I was the worst human being who’s ever lived. The first time he devoted a column to attacking me was late April 2011, during the AV debate—you know, the alternative voting system? Remember that?”

Sellers nodded and tried not to groan. Were they back to this again? He thought he’d successfully changed the subject.

“Damon was against AV—called it the most nonsensical voting system ever to be created—and I was passionately in favor. That was when we first locked horns, but then he dug up other columns I’d written, some from years ago. He attacked me retrospectively for my stance on the euro, for having supported the Iraq War—I still say there was a case for removing Saddam—”

“Mr. Holland, if we could get back to Monday morning,” Sellers spoke over him. “While you were out walking, did you see anyone you knew?”

Holland laughed. “Are you serious? I need an alibi? You think I killed Damon?”

“Not at all. I’m sure you can appreciate, Damon Blundy being who he was, that we’re asking a lot of people where they were on Monday morning.”

“No, I didn’t see anyone I knew,” Holland said impatiently. “I sometimes do, and I sometimes don’t. Maybe you should put up a poster on Wandsworth Common with my mugshot: ‘Did anyone see this man here on Monday morning, or is this the face of a murderer?’ Ridiculous.”

“DC Sellers has to ask,” said Iona. “Even though it’s you.”

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” Holland snapped at her.

She seemed to find his anger amusing. “It means,
darling
, that even though you know and I know you didn’t kill Damon Blundy, DC Sellers doesn’t. I assume you don’t want a police force that takes everybody’s word for everything?”

“You’re right,” said Holland after a few seconds. “I apologize, DC Sellers. But I’m afraid I can’t help you. I went for a walk. I didn’t go to . . . wherever it is and stab Damon Blundy.”

“Why do you say ‘stab’?” asked Sellers.

Holland frowned. “No reason. I mean . . . well, he was killed in his house, wasn’t he? I assumed . . .” He broke off and laughed. “All
right, I’m going to sound like an idiot when I admit this, but no doubt I deserve the attendant embarrassment: in my mind, shootings happen outside and stabbings happen inside. Daft, illogical, but there we are.”

“What about stranglings, poisonings?” Sellers asked him. “Couldn’t they happen inside too?”

“Of course, but . . . aren’t they more rare?” Holland lost interest in his question before it was answered. “Look, if you’re trying to suggest that I knew Damon was stabbed because I stabbed him, you’re way off the mark. I just said it without thinking.”

“Damon Blundy wasn’t stabbed,” Sellers told him.

“What?” Holland looked confused. “But then why . . . ?”

“Why what?”

“If he wasn’t stabbed, what on earth does it matter that I assumed he was? It’s not relevant to anything.”

“Perhaps not,” Sellers said, thinking,
We’ll see
. His kids hated it when he said, “We’ll see,” in response to their various requests. “Just say no if you’re going to say no!” they often snarled at him.

“They say people hate anyone who’s too similar to them, don’t they?” Holland mused. “I’m nothing like Damon Blundy, thank God. I’ve wondered if it was almost the opposite syndrome, though. Damon was obsessed with what I thought about every issue, and with attacking my opinion. Maybe he couldn’t cope with the idea of my thoughts because they were the opposite of his, almost always. I mean, it must be a somewhat disconcerting experience, coming up against someone who’s undeniably intelligent but cancels you out on every point, when you believe yourself to be intelligent. A bit like seeing your own mind in a mirror—it would make you wonder what your mind
really
looks like, wouldn’t it?”

“I think DC Sellers might like another cup of tea,” said Iona, swallowing a yawn. “I would, anyway.”

“That would be great, thanks,” Sellers said.

Iona didn’t move.

Holland stood up. “Right, I’ll go and put the kettle on,” he said.

When he’d left the room, Iona said, “My husband is many things, but he’s not a murderer. And I’m not just saying that because I’m his wife.”

“If you could encourage him to try and remember if he saw
anyone
he knew, anyone at all—”

“No,” said Iona. “Sorry. You encourage him if you want to.” She smiled.

Strange woman.
My husband is many things . . .

“I’ve spent years encouraging him to see the stark staring obvious about why Damon Blundy kept targeting him in a way that he targeted no one else. Keiran’s right about that, Blundy did do that. I try to tell him why and he doesn’t hear me. It goes in one ear and out the other. He speculates endlessly—canceling out, mind in a mirror—it’s all crap! Overblown crap.”

“Then what was it?” Sellers asked.
Jealousy, because Holland had slept with Paula Riddiough and Damon wanted to?

“Damon loved to argue and scrap,” Iona said. “There are many people one can argue with about individual issues, but . . .” She stopped talking as Keiran reappeared.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he said. “Milk and sugar?”

Sellers opened his mouth to answer, but Iona spoke too quickly. “There are very few people who are wrong about
everything
,” she told Sellers, as if her husband weren’t there. “That was Keiran’s unique appeal from Damon Blundy’s point of view: that he was wrong about absolutely everything.”

“IT’S ON HER IGNORANT
head, and no amount of denying’s going to change that,” the schoolgirl with the stubby blond plaits shouted at her two friends, who looked as if they were ready to agree with her whatever she said. Gibbs guessed they were around sixteen—but would students that old wear uniforms? At Gibbs’s school they
hadn’t, but perhaps different rules applied in King’s Lynn, a town Gibbs had never visited before.

The girl who had spoken had obviously been crying; she’d also removed her tie and fastened it around her leg like a garter, with the ends trailing. Her shirt was unbuttoned, revealing the top of a red lacy bra. “She might not have meant it to happen, whatever, I don’t care! It’s still on her head. Like a big fucking fat . . .
hat
, man. I swear to God!” Much giggling from all three girls followed this conclusion.

They swept past Gibbs in exactly the way that, a few moments earlier, they’d swept past the square black trash can embedded in the pavement. Anything that wasn’t part of their all-consuming drama was invisible to them; Gibbs could remember girls in his class like that; they’d never looked in his direction either. He found himself wishing he’d known Liv as a teenager, that she’d been in his class at school.
Stupid
. What was the point of wishing that?