Woman of Courage (22 page)

“When you go, we send meat, coffee, and pemmican with you,” Mary said, smiling at Buck.

“Thanks, I appreciate that.” He glanced over at Amanda but quickly looked away.

Amanda wondered if he’d been about to say something to her. Should she ask? No, that might appear too forward.

“I’m sure gonna miss Little Joe when I’m gone,” Buck said. “I kinda like that little fella.”

“You can come by to see him whenever ya like,” Jim said, reaching over to stroke his son’s shiny black hair.

Buck grinned. “I might just do that.”

“You welcome here anytime,” Mary put in.

“Would it be all right if I pray for thee now?” Amanda asked.

“You can pray for me all
thee
want when I’m gone,” Buck said, his forehead creasing, “but I ain’t in no mood to listen to no flowery prayer.”

Amanda cringed. She had obviously offended him. “I … I am sorry. I meant no offense,” she said, wishing she could take back what she had said. From the way Buck had responded to her Bible reading on several occasions, she should have known better than to suggest that she pray out loud for him, and to make matters worse, she’d used
thee
again.

“There’s one more thing I’d better say before I go,” Buck said, sliding his chair away from the table.

“Go right ahead,” Jim spoke up. “You can say whatever’s on your mind.”

Buck looked at Amanda and blinked a couple of times. “I’ve … uh … thought things over and have decided not to act as your guide. You’ll have to find someone else to take ya to the Spalding Mission.”

Amanda’s shoulders slumped. She was sorely disappointed. “Is it because I asked if I could pray for you? Or have I said or done something else to offend?”

Buck traced his finger along the scar from the grizzly attack, running from his left eyebrow back to his ear. “Ya ain’t done nothin’,” he mumbled. “Just don’t wanna go there, that’s all.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jim said, tapping Amanda’s arm. “I’ll be takin’ my furs and pelts to the Green River Rendezvous in a few weeks, and you can go with me, Mary, and Little Joe. Maybe somebody there will be willing to take ya to the mission.”

Mary’s eyebrows lifted as she looked at Jim. “We all goin’ to Rendezvous?”

He gave a nod. “I’ll be gone a spell and don’t wanna leave ya here at the cabin by yourselves for that long.”

“We enjoy goin’ to Rendezvous,” Mary said with an eager expression. “Much excitement and things to look at there.”

Jim chuckled. “Well, just don’t get too carried away with buyin’ and tradin’ things. I don’t wanna have to buy another pack mule just to haul everything home.”

“Other Indians be at Rendezvous?” Mary asked.

“That’s right,” Jim said. “Several tribes come to barter and sell.”

Mary’s eyes brightened. “Maybe some of my people be there. Might see Mother and Father again.”

Jim frowned deeply. “It’s not likely, but if they are at the Rendezvous, I hope you don’t get any ideas about runnin’ off with them.” He motioned to their baby. “You and Little Joe belong with me.”

Mary blinked. “I … I know, but—”

“If your family is there, which ain’t likely,” Jim said firmly, “you can spend some time with ’em, but when Rendezvous is over, you and Little Joe will be comin’ back here with me.”

Mary nodded.

Amanda felt sorry for her new friend. Leaving one’s family by choice was one thing, but being ripped away from them through no desire of your own was unimaginable. Mary had told Amanda several things about her days as a captive of the Blackfeet, so she knew Mary had been treated cruelly. Even her time of being married to Jim hadn’t been easy, although things seemed better between them since the birth of Little Joe. Still, if a husband cared for his wife, he should be willing to see that she was reunited with her family, even if it meant leaving the mountains and traveling to Nez Percé country. Amanda kept her thoughts to herself. She’d already overstepped her bounds with Buck this morning and didn’t want to make the same mistake with Jim, especially since she was hoping he would soon be her second convert.

A short time after Buck left, Amanda mentioned to Jim that she thought Buck’s refusal to take her to the Spalding Mission was because she’d done something to offend him.

Jim shook his head. “I don’t know about that, but Buck can be hard to figure out sometimes. He had a rough life when he was a boy.”

“Would you tell me a little about that?” Amanda asked.

Jim pulled thoughtfully on his beard. “Well, his pa was white and his ma was Nez Percé Indian. When his pa was killed by a Blackfoot Injun, his ma was taken captive and made to work as a slave.”

“Same, like me,” Mary put in, wrinkling her nose. “They probably beat her, too.”

“Could be,” Jim said, “but Buck’s ma was pregnant by her white husband when she was taken, and after the baby was born, she named him Red Hawk.”

Amanda listened with interest as Jim went on to tell how when Red Hawk was five years old, the Blackfeet traded him and his ma to a man named Silas Lothard, who’d changed the boy’s name to Buck. Jim grimaced. “The man claimed to be a Christian, but he sure didn’t act like one. From what Buck said, Silas treated both him and his ma somethin’ awful, callin’ them heathens and beating them into submission.” Jim took a drink of his coffee, then continued with the story. “One day Buck’s mother tried to take her son and run away, but Silas caught ’em. As punishment, he traded Buck’s ma to another man, but kept Buck, who was then ten years old. ‘Course, Silas continued to mistreat Buck, and then one day when the enraged man was beatin’ on Buck, he’d had enough and fought back. Silas ended up falling on his own knife, and once Buck realized the man was dead, he lit out on his own. Eventually, Buck and I met up, and I ended up teachin’ him how to trap.” Jim paused again for more coffee. “As you can probably guess, Buck has no regard for Christians and doesn’t think he needs God.”

“I see. I appreciate you telling me Buck’s story. It helps me understand him a little better,” Amanda said. “Now I understand why Buck seems so closed off to religion. He went through a lot at a very young age. No wonder he keeps up his guard.”

Jim pulled out his pipe. “Yep,” he said, before lighting it.

“Will Buck be going to Rendezvous, too?” Amanda questioned.

“Probably so; he usually does.”

“Will he travel with us?”

Jim shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t know.”

“Buck, he a loner,” Mary said. “Like to be by himself.”

I must remember to pray for Buck
, Amanda told herself.
I shall pray that God will show him that not all who say they are Christians are bad
.

That evening as Jim stood beside the stream near his cabin, he noticed that the clouds he’d seen earlier had begun to break up, revealing a gloriously bright sunset that gave the trees a faint reddish-yellow color.

It wasn’t often that Jim allowed himself the pleasure of indulging in the luxury of pure, simple relaxation, but this was one of those rare moments. He sniffed deeply of the clear, clean mountain air. It felt invigorating and reminded him that it was good to be alive and part of this great wilderness.

As the sun began to slip slowly behind the majestic Rocky Mountains, Jim felt the sudden need to share the experience with someone. He turned back toward the cabin to invite Mary to see the pretty sky.

When Jim entered the cabin, his son was lying on the bearskin rug on the floor with Amanda sitting on one side of him and Mary on the other. “Amanda, would ya mind watchin’ the baby while Mary and I go outside to look at a sunset that’s just too purty to miss?”

Amanda smiled. “I don’t mind at all.”

Jim grabbed Mary’s hand and pulled her to her feet. “Let’s go then, ’cause them colors will be gone if we don’t hurry.”

Mary hurried out the door behind Jim, giggling as she went. It was the first time Jim had seen her so carefree.

Once they were outdoors, Jim took Mary’s hand and hurried across the yard. They stopped when they reached the stream and stood watching the sky until the sun slipped out of sight, taking with it all the beautiful colors. Standing with Mary made Jim feel as wonderful as the sunset. Now he knew what the words of scripture Lois had read to him once meant: “My cup runneth over.” Lois had said the phrase meant that the person who wrote the verse had more than enough for his needs. That was surely how Jim felt these days.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Jim asked, as Mary stood quietly beside him.

“Just remembering some things from the past. Look forward to future with you and Little Joe,” she said in a near whisper.

He turned and gazed deeply into Mary’s dark eyes. “I’m lookin’ forward to taking you and Little Joe to the Rendezvous. Maybe I’ll see about buyin’ a piece of glass for the kitchen window. How’s that sound?”

“That be nice,” Mary answered. “Much to be done before journey, though. I make new clothes for us and Little Joe.” She smiled at Jim. “Our son, he look like you, I think.”

“Ah, but he’s got your dark eyes and bronze-colored skin,” Jim reminded her. “And ya know what else, Mary?”

“What?”

“I think our Little Joe is the most special child ever born.”

She nodded. “That because he’s yours and mine.”

Jim grinned. He looked forward to the future—a future with his wife, Mary, and their wonderful little boy.

T
he next few weeks were busy, as Mary tended to the baby and sewed them all new outfits to wear to Rendezvous. Little Joe’s clothing was made from the softest skins, thinly scraped and tanned so pliable that they actually molded to his little body.

The clothing Mary sewed for herself and Jim was made from deer and bighorn sheep skin. She had tanned the leather until it was nearly white, then scraped it very thin, and finally rubbed it into soft leather, using white clay. She’d decorated the garments with porcupine quills dyed in the juice of huckleberries. She’d also used some tiny bones and animal teeth, bird quills, as well as colorful beads. These decorations were sewn in a variety of attractive patterns, using buffalo sinew to sew them in place. Mary made them new moccasins, too, and for Jim, some extra fringed shirts and trousers from soft elk skin.

One afternoon, Mary sat at the table sewing some beads on one of the dresses she’d made. She smiled and watched as Thunder lay sleeping near the baby’s cradle. She’d grown even fonder of the dog since Little Joe had been born, because Thunder was always close by the baby, watching over him as if he were his own. Mary wondered what would become of the dog when they left for the Rendezvous in a few weeks. They’d be gone for more than a moon, and even though Thunder, being part wolf, was an excellent hunter and could provide for his own meals, she wondered if he would think they had abandoned him and were never coming back.

Mary would have to speak to Jim about the dog. Perhaps she could convince him to allow Thunder to travel along to the Rendezvous. It would be added protection for them, as there were always dangers in the wilderness.

Mary was glad Amanda would be traveling with them, but she dreaded saying good-bye to her friend once she had found someone to act as her guide. She wished they could go with her to the mission, which she was certain was near her tribe’s winter home. If she could just convince Jim to give up trapping and live among her people. But he was a stubborn man, and would probably never agree to such a thing.