Authors: Jacqueline Rhoades
Tags: #romance, #wolves, #alpha, #romance paramornal, #wolvers, #pnr series, #wolves romance, #shifters werewolves
"Why are we doing this?" Toby grumbled. He
flipped to the next clean page in the crumpled notepad River had
given him. There were only a few of those pages left in the spiral
bound book. The others were filled with lists and notes of things
that needed to be done. Some were crossed off. Most weren't.
"Because I can't spell worth shit, and my
handwriting looks like chicken scratch." They'd gone over this
before.
"So? No one has to read them but you."
"Yes, they do. I won't be here."
Quentin laughed. "You've been saying that
since we met you and that was what? A month ago?"
Was it only a month? River felt like he'd
been here his entire life. The cabins, the river that ran through
the middle of the land, and the streams that fed into it, were all
familiar to him. He knew where the bears liked to forage for their
food. He knew where they sheltered and he knew the big brown one
would have to be killed. He was old and toothless and already
checking the settlement out as an easy source of food. His meat
would be tough, but stewing would take care of that.
"Somebody said one of the freezers needed a
new compressor. Has anyone looked into that? Can it be repaired? If
not, can we order one? Put that on a separate list. I need to talk
to the Alpha about it."
"Yeah, because you're leaving, right?"
"Exactly, and one of you idiots is going to
have to read that list to Big Ben. I'm pretty sure the Alpha's
going to make him a Second."
"God, I hope not. Ben's a pain in the ass."
Toby continued to write as he spoke, a feat River found
miraculous.
He didn't disagree with the younger wolver's
assessment. "Ben also works harder than you two put together."
"We're young. We're supposed to think of
other things besides work, like food."
"And sex," Quentin added.
"No work, no food, no sex. Hungry females
just aren't interested. See how one thing leads to another?"
River glanced at the step-by-step
instructions in the book that was lying on the ground next to him.
Whoever thought he'd be using a book to do anything except hold a
door open or prop up a short leg on a table? He'd done both in the
places he'd lived when he was on the run. Now, he wondered if those
books had contained information he would have found useful.
"Tie this off right here." He instructed.
Quentin used another of the dozens of pieces of twine he'd precut.
"And keep tying all the way up. Leave more space between the
branches as you go. It's got to look like this." River pointed to
the illustration in the book.
He'd taken the pups to libraries on occasion,
when the weather was too rainy or cold to be outside. Libraries
were warm and no one asked questions as long as you kept quiet.
There were plenty of picture books to keep the pups happy, but it
never dawned on him that there were books that could help him, too.
Like the one he was using now.
"This isn't going to be big enough to feed us
all," Toby continued his complaint. "I say we buy what we
need."
"And where is the money coming from?" River
asked. "Most of Sweet Valley's money went into the land. You own
it, free and clear, but there are still taxes, and wolvers to be
fed and clothed, and repairs aren't cheap. It's going to take time
to find the hunters and fishermen you'll need to turn a profit, if
it ever does. Lawrence says marketing alone will cost a bundle and
the lodge will have to be brought up to date."
"We have money, too. Dennis had plenty."
Enough to buy into the Chase, at any rate.
River didn't like to think about that night. It made him think of
Alphas and Alphas made him think of losing Reb.
"You think the pack has a lot when you hear a
number," he told them, "but it isn't much when you divide by the
number of people it has to support. Are you willing to leave to go
down to the city and find work to cover the extra?"
"Hell no," Quentin answered.
"Then you'd better find ways to make do
without money or you'll do without sex." This argument seemed to
work better than all the others he'd used.
"Gimme that book," Quentin demanded, proving
River's theory. "Toby, get your ass over here and help."
When River first saw the number of books the
Sweet Valley pack carried with them, he only thought of the space
they took up, space that could be used for more practical things.
In the course of the last month, he'd seen how wrong he was. The
pack's library, now stacked and awaiting book cases that would be
built during winter, had proved invaluable.
Most of his knowledge of survival depended on
his wits. When it was wet, you searched for someplace dry. When it
was cold, you figured out how to stay warm. He learned to set
snares because he and the pups were hungry. He learned to fish with
his hands because he had no other way. After hundreds of misses,
he'd learned to kill deer with a cheap crossbow he'd stolen. It was
quiet and drew no attention and the bolts could be reused. He
supplemented his supplies with what he could steal, but stealing
was risky.
The pups were the ones who paid the price
while he learned. Shelter and food for five was much easier than
seeing to the needs of a pack. He needed to think on a larger scale
and time was running out.
"The two things you need to survive are
shelter and food," River told the two. "The salmon Arnold smoked is
all fine and dandy, but he says the salmon only run once a year.
These traps will help fill in between."
A couple of young females walked by. They
giggled and waved.
Toby grinned and waved back. His grin
disappeared as soon as they were past. "You need sex, too, and by
the looks of it, we won't be getting any of that either. We're
wasting all our hooking up time on lists and fish traps."
"You'll have plenty of time to find some of
that," River told him. "You've got a couple of days before the full
moon."
"Easy for you to say. You've got yours."
River didn't need the reminder. It was more
than the full moon's pull that was targeting his body. He craved
Reb way beyond what was normal or healthy. Yeah, he liked sex and
the pull of the moon always encouraged couples to join. And yeah,
he freely admitted to himself if no one else, sex with Reb was a
lot more than like, but this feeling went way past that. He'd
become obsessed with the female. He was leaving. He was constantly
aware that each passing day brought him closer to the time when
Eugene Begley would contact Roland.
It had become a never ending circle of
thought. The more he thought about leaving, the more he thought
about being with her. The more they fucked, the more he thought
about how soon it would end. He was leaving, and every morning he
told himself that today would be his last day. And every night, he
told himself that tomorrow he would do it. Tomorrow always brought
another reason to stay and another reminder of why he had to
leave.
"It's not just finding a female," Quentin
complained. "It's finding a place to do it. Fucking in the woods is
not all it's cracked up to be, you know. This back to nature shit
has its limits."
River knew about that, too. With all the
communal living, finding a time or place with a little privacy was
hard, and damned near impossible if it rained. His big idea, one he
considered brilliant at the time, backfired, and neither of them
was happy once it was over.
The cabin for the soon-to-be-mated couples
was ready. It was the one farthest away from the main house, barely
seen through the trees. At his suggestion, Reb met River there in
the middle of the night. She attacked him before they even got
inside.
"I've missed you. I've missed you. I've
missed you," she kept saying as if it had been two months instead
of two days since they'd found a way to be alone. She tore at his
clothes, and climbed up his body. The door barely shut behind them
before he had her up against the wall, one hand braced against it,
the other beneath the firm, round globes of her ass. There was no
warming up, no soft sweet kisses or foreplay, just him ramming home
into the soft sweetness of her center.
She bucked her body against his with soft,
panting moans. Her mouth clamped down on his shoulder to keep from
crying out when she came and she kept it there for his last few
strokes until he came, too.
"I've missed you," she whispered again when
it was over and she could breathe.
"I could tell," he laughed, a little
breathless himself. "It's nice to be missed."
"Nice?" she asked in mock anger. "We make
fudge like that and you call it nice?"
"You're right. Best fudge ever." He kissed
her and she kissed him back.
"Good, but not the best," she argued when the
kiss was done. "The best fudge is in there." She pointed past his
shoulder to the bedroom on the left. "Carry me to bed and I'll show
you."
Making fudge had become a private joke
between them. For the most part, River had stopped swearing in her
presence, but she hadn't stopped asking for fudge. He'd never be
able to taste the stuff again without thinking of the taste of
Reb.
They made fudge again and Reb was absolutely
right. It was sweeter and more satisfying than the frenzied fucking
against the wall. It was so sweet and so satisfying that on their
third round, River almost made the mistake of his life.
He had her on her knees, hips high and head
to the mattress. He drove into her from behind, loving the feel of
her ass against him as she pushed back wanting more and more. His
body was wound tight, getting ready for the explosion that was only
a few strokes away. Reb was taking longer this time to reach her
climax and he didn't want to leave her behind and unsatisfied.
River molded his body over hers and grunting
with his final thrusts, ordered, "Bring it on, baby. Make yourself
come."
As if she'd been waiting for his command,
Reb's outstretched hand snaked beneath her body. Her fingers worked
her clit and he felt her tension rise, pushing his higher and
higher. Her head was tilted slightly to the side in open invitation
to his mouth directly above the spot where her neck ended and her
shoulder began. He touched the spot with his lips and then his
tongue. Mind empty of all but the need to mark her as his, to claim
her as mate, River opened his mouth, lips pulled back from his
teeth, and brought teeth to skin. Reason asserted itself. He didn't
complete the bite, but lifted his head and groaned his frustration
to the ceiling above.
Reb's body shuddered beneath him. Her body
closed around his cock. He came with the sound of Reb's sharp cry
echoing in his ears. It was a sound he'd never heard her make
before and it pained him to hear it.
He held the position for a long while before
he rolled to his back, arms spread and ready to capture her when
she crawled toward him to rest her head on his chest. It was what
she always did, but this time, Reb rolled the other way. She curled
her knees into her chest and covered her face with her arm. Her
short, sharp sniff had him turning toward her. He touched her
shaking shoulder.
"Babe? Are you crying?"
She shook her head with another sniff, but
wouldn't speak. She wouldn't let him see her eyes. She was
weeping.
River felt as if someone had stabbed him with
a knife. His chest hurt and his wolf growled with it.
"Babe? Babe, did I do something wrong? Oh
God, baby, did I hurt you? Baby, talk to me."
"We shouldn't be doing this, not here, not
now."
Reb never complained about sex before. She
liked it. She was the one always asking for fudge. He thought this
would be a treat, having sex in a real bed with real sheets, where
they could spend the night, or most of it, without worry of being
heard or seen. He thought it was a gift, and she sure as hell
seemed pleased when she was clawing at his back and whispering his
name. What happened?
"Why? Tell me why."
She shook her head again, but then she spoke
in a hissing whisper. "I've stolen this. It isn't mine. It isn't my
bed. It isn't my home. This is Julie and Chuck's. This is where
they'll start their lives. This is where they'll breed their pups.
This is where they'll share their happiness and plan their
future."
She choked on a sob, but when he tried to
comfort her, she pushed his hand away.
"And now I've ruined it. I've stolen it,
because I was jealous, because I wanted something that isn't mine
to have."
"Aw, babe, you haven't stolen anything.
They'll never know." He tugged at her shoulder, but she wouldn't
move.
"I'll know," she sobbed. "I thought that for
a little while I could pretend their happiness was mine. I thought
I could pretend that in this bed, this house was my future, too,
but it isn't, River, is it? I'll never have this. It isn't
mine."
His wolf was restless, pacing inside him.
"
Mate
," it whispered and River
finally understood.
Every full moon, Reb would have to watch
another couple take part in a Chase, one that was as it was
supposed to be; a happy time of parties and dancing. Each mating
would be celebrated not just for the couple, but for the Spring
Valley pack.
Every wolver female was born with an innate
need to breed. They could fight it. They could deny it. They could
survive without it, but it was always there, called by the moon in
the same way the males were called to shift by its light.
It would be harder for a female like Reb,
because she was no ordinary female. She needed an Alpha, but until
one was found, Reb could make do with an ordinary mate. The power
of the Alpha's magic was strong enough to break a mating bond and
forge another. River knew this. He'd seen it.
More than ever, he wished he was the one to
take that temporary place, to give that to her, but he couldn't do
it. It wasn't because he didn't want her. He'd known in his heart
from the first time he saw her that she was the one for him. Just
seeing her sitting on that bumper in the rain, he knew she was
something special, something to be protected and cherished. His
wolf knew even when River denied it. He wanted Reb more than he'd
ever wanted anything or anyone, but he couldn't do it. He couldn't
do it to her, but more selfishly, he couldn't do it to himself.
Because he was a coward.