Authors: Jacqueline Rhoades
Tags: #romance, #paranormal romance, #shifters, #paranormal adventure romance, #wolvers, #wolves shifting, #paranormal shifter series, #paranormal wolf romance, #wolves romance
“
It is if what you had was
good.”
“
It was. I had a great life
for a wolver cub. I had a good Alpha. I had a good pack. I had a
great family. I ran the woods. You were right about being all arms
and legs and big feet. I was tall and gawky and naive. I was
happy.
“
We were a small pack, only
thirty-one of us. We lived in cabins, not primitive, but simple,
off the grid. You know, generators for electric, wood stoves for
heat, that kind of thing. I remember being so excited when I read
an article about solar panels. I showed it to our Alpha. I remember
feeling so grownup when he said he would look into it. Our Alpha
was a good man, a kind man, too kind as it turned out.
“
One of our members was a
wolver who lived alone. He was an odd sort, and sometimes, like
Eli, he would shift and not come home. It began to happen more and
more frequently. I didn’t understand it at the time, but some of
the members began to worry. The Alpha said everything would be all
right. That wolver was turning feral and our Alpha knew it, but
he’d known the man since they were cubs and I don’t think he had
the heart to put him down. After all, we were isolated. What harm
could he do?
“
What we didn’t know then,
but I learned later, was that the wolver who could do no harm had
developed a taste for domestic animals and the ranchers around us
were growing angry.
“
I had just turned fifteen
and earned my right to go over the moon. I was going to be a man, a
full-fledged member of the pack. We had a party to celebrate. In
our little pack, we celebrated everything. The moon rose, and the
Alpha took me over. He brought the women over, too. The seven pups
we left behind were safe and sleeping in their beds. After all, we
were isolated. What harm could come to them? For the first time, I
ran with the pack and I was in my glory.”
Bull stopped and closed his eyes. Tommie
slipped her hand in his and waited. He took a deep breath and
continued.
“
When the shots rang out, my
father was the first to go down. All I heard in my head was his
voice and the Alpha’s telling me to run. More shots rang out. More
wolvers fell. I did as I was told. I ran. I’d never been so
frightened in my life. I might have run in circles for all I know.
I ran until I collapsed. The moon set and the sun rose and I was
still wolf. I think that frightened me almost as much as seeing my
father fall. Forgetting that I was supposed to be all manly and
mature, I went looking for my mother, not to give her aid, but to
seek her comfort.” He sounded ashamed.
“
Honey, that’s what mothers
are for. You were still a cub.”
He squeezed her hand.
“
I made my way back and
found blood everywhere. I ran to our cabin. My brother and sister
were awake and crying for our mother. It was cold, so cold. The
fire was burning low and there was nothing I could do about it. I
tried to get my sister to open the door of the stove, but she was
too young and didn’t understand. All she wanted was my mother and I
wanted her, too. I dragged the covers off the bed and made them sit
as close to the stove as they could get. I found what food I could
for them, but it wasn’t much. It wasn’t enough. Then I set off to
see what had become of my mother.
“
I found the pile of bodies
first. My father, the Alpha, and the Mate were among them. The rest
were pack members and friends. They were piled like so much
garbage. It seemed like human men were everywhere. Much later I
learned that there were only four. I hid and watched and waited and
followed them when they threw the bodies on the truck.
“
Not all the wolvers of my
pack died that night. Six were captured and caged. My mother was
one of them. She was wounded and there was nothing I could do for
her. It took her three days to die.”
“
Oh, Bull. Oh, Bull, honey,
I’m so sorry.” The tears fell softly from Tommie’s eyes, but she
didn’t try to wipe them away. “And your brother and sister?” she
asked cautiously, “What happened to them?”
“
What always happens to the
young and the weak when they’re exposed to the cold. I had no way
to feed them. I had no way to keep them warm. I promised my mother
I would care for them and I let them die.”
“
No. No, you didn’t,” she
argued. “You did what you could.”
“
I was wolf and I couldn’t
find my way home. I had no one to show me how. All I could do was
bury them. It took me a long time to dig those holes. They were all
gone and so was I. For the next two years, I ran as a wolf. I ran
wild, just like the wolvers I hunt.”
“
No, no, not like the
wolvers you hunt. If you were feral, you couldn’t have come back.
You couldn’t be the kind of man you are. You couldn’t care so
much.”
Tears were trickling from the corners of his
eyes and Tommie kissed them away. She could think of nothing more
to say but, “I’m sorry.” She had lost her birth parents too as a
child, but she had no memory of them, so never felt the pain of
their loss as Bull did. Her adoptive parents had died together in a
car accident, tragic and heartbreaking, but she was an adult and
not the young boy with nowhere to turn.
Bull turned to face her and they lay together
much like she and Cora had laid just a short time before. Bull
stared into her eyes as he finished.
“
Of the thirty-one wolvers
in my pack, fourteen were shot and killed, seven pups died of
exposure, four wolvers went wild like me, and of the six captured,
three died, two died later in captivity. I tracked them all. I left
the ones who went wild alone. When I found that one of the captured
had escaped, I was so excited. He was the last of my pack. He was
what I’d been searching for.” Bull’s sigh was heavy with grief.
“Except he wasn’t what I was searching for.
“
His years in captivity had
changed him. He’d gone mad, the feral wolf in a man’s body. He’d
turned killer. The police were tracking him, too. He was the first
feral I eliminated.” Bull shrugged and gave her a sad smile. “My
Alpha, Eugene Begley was hunting him, too. He found me instead, and
here I am.”
“
I understand now,” Tommie
told him gently. “And I love you even more, William
Bulworth.”
“
One fucking feral destroyed
all those lives,” he whispered.
“
Don’t think of the ones
that were lost, Bull. Think of the ones you’ve saved. I think your
family would be very proud.”
Tommie kissed him then, just as gently as she
spoke. She stroked the hair at his temple much as Cora had stroked
hers. Something had changed between them. She felt as if she was
his lifeline, pulling him from his world of tragic memories and
into hers. She felt his wolf calling out and her she-wolf answered
the call.
When he rolled to position himself on top of
her, she opened to him, ready to give whatever he needed from her
body. Slowly, gently, they joined together in the quiet rhythm of
love. He didn’t speak. Nor did she. What they were sharing was too
deep for words and as they reached their climax together, Tommie
heard their wolves howl together in song.
Bull rolled to the side, keeping her with
him, and still joined together, they slept.
“
Don’t you bare your teeth
at me, young lady,” the voice admonishes; a woman’s voice, firm,
but not harsh. Her finger wags with the warning. “Bad things happen
to little girls who let their beast out. Now, here’s your bankie.
Nothing to cry about.” She smiles and blows a kiss.
The nightmare continued as it always did, but
continued past its usual and frightening end.
A long tongue licks the little girl’s face.
A warm body surrounds her and she feels its comfort and protection.
She cries when it leaves her and as human hands carry her away, she
calls out for it.
“
My woof. My woof. Come
back.”
Tommie’s eyes snapped open, but she held her
body still until she could identify the source of her sudden
wakefulness. She’d been dreaming again and though she had no
recollection of this recurrent nightmare, she felt none of the fear
that usually accompanied the dream. She settled back down beside
the warm body of her man, running her hand lightly over his
chest.
Usually agitated by the dream, her wolf must
have sensed the difference, too. The she-wolf curled into a
contented ball and went back to sleep. Tommie smiled. If your wolf
says everything is good, it probably is.
“
You okay, baby?” Bull
mumbled. He wrapped his arm a little more tightly around
her.
“
I am,” Tommie whispered.
She closed her eyes and returned to sleep with his comfort and
protection surrounding her.
Fifteen minutes after leaving the camp, one
of the pups riding in the back seat of Bull’s truck squeaked, “I
have to pee.”
Tommie saw Bull’s jaws clench and she
laughed. “Don’t say it,” she whispered and then louder. “There’s a
rest area five miles ahead. Big Bull will stop so you can use the
bathroom. Just hang on, we’ll be there in a minute.”
“
Big Bull?” he
asked.
Tommie spread her hands. “It’s their name for
you, not mine.” She eyed his crotch. “I know better.”
“
I’ll show you
better.”
“
I didn’t know it could get
better,” she laughed. “There’s something we need to talk about
anyway, and I’d rather not do it while you’re driving.”
Bull put his turn signal on and led their
small caravan into the rest area.
“
At this rate, it’s going to
take us a month to get there,” Bull grumbled after everyone else
decided to go, too.
“
That’s what I wanted to
talk to you about. Now, don’t get mad.” She was aware of how touchy
men could be about directions, though she did find it odd that a
wolver would lose his way. “We’re going the wrong way. My house is
south and we’re headed north.”
“
We’re not going to your
house.”
“
Um, yes we are. There’s no
danger anymore and that was the plan.”
“
Your plan, not mine. You
can’t take them to your house. It won’t work, and I won’t let you
do it.”
“
Won’t let me? I don’t think
I need your permission, William Bulworth. And how do you know it
won’t work when you haven’t even given it a chance?”
“
Because I know them, I know
you, and I know your neighbors.”
“
My neighbors, I’ll have you
know, are very nice people.”
“
I know. Nice house, nice
neighborhood, nice law abiding neighbors.”
“
They won’t steal, Bull. I
told you what Cora said. They don’t want to live like that. They
just need someone to help them change direction.”
“
I didn’t say they would
steal, though I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a few setbacks.
You’d be putting them in the center of temptation, and there are
other things you haven’t taken into account.”
“
Such as?”
“
Such as they’re used to
living outdoors.”
“
They’ll get used to it and
I have a very nice backyard,” she argued.
“
Yeah, like you’d get used
to living in a tent,” he laughed, “And zoos have larger enclosures
than your backyard. We’re not going to your house.”
The others were counting on it. They were
looking forward to having a permanent home and he was leading them
north to what? Another campground, no doubt. One that was colder
and dirtier than the last. Bullheaded, that’s what he was. Tommie
was still riding the high of their glorious coming together of the
night before and he had to go and ruin the mood.
“
We’ll just see about that.”
She marched across the empty parking lot in what her mother would
have called a high royal huff.
“
Baby,” Bull called after
her.
Tommie ignored him. She was not his baby, no
matter how soft he sounded when he said it.
“
Spitfire.”
She liked that one, too. It was his first
name for her and that made it special, but not special enough to
make her turn on her pack. Yes, pack, damn it. With or without an
Alpha, they were her pack.
Tommie kept walking.
“
You need to hear me out,
Tommie,” he called after her. “You’re not walking away from
me.”
“
You see my ass?” she called
over her shoulder. “That means I’m walking away.”
She felt a burst of power wash over her. How
dare he? “You can take that huffy-puffy thing, William Bulworth,
and shove it up...”
The power swelled a little more. “Tommie, get
that skinny ass of yours back here.”
Tommie stopped. She had to, but she refused
to turn around. “You liked my skinny ass well enough when you
were...”
“
Thomas Mortimer Bane, you
will not have the last word this time. Get back here.
Now!”
The power swelled again and Tommie turned
around. She had no choice. Head down, eyes on the ground, she
stomped back to him.
“
I still like your skinny
ass,” he said, “But I’m not going to kiss it every time you don’t
get your way. Now look at me and listen.” He released whatever
power it was that made her obey.
“
You said you should only
use the huffy-puffy when it was important,” she grumbled as soon as
she could talk.