Wolf's Den - A BBW Shifter Romance Novel (24 page)

“No, not sympathy. I just want you to understand. Since that day, Lady Violet has come to loathe humans. She blames them, all of them, for the death of that family. She has come to believe that they are evil and our kind is meant to eradicate them. She’s been looking for a way ever since. She’s been bringing our kind to the ranch to protect them,” Phillip said. He was painting Violet as some kind of heroine who was simply misguided.

“Like she protected the girls before me? The girls you mutilated to harvest their...essence or whatever she called it?” I asked pointedly.

“There is no such thing?” he said.

“What?” I replied. No such thing? So he performed some kind of surgery on these girls for no reason?

“I made it up. Violet demanded action. I tried to find some way to appease her. She was growing increasingly unstable and so I made it up. I convinced her that these girls born of human mothers with the ability to change held the key to breeding the army Violet wanted. I performed surgery and for a while she was content with my attempt to harvest what didn’t exist but she began demanding success,” Phillip told us. I felt sick as I listened.

“I assured her I was getting closer and closer. By the time she found you, she was convinced we were on the verge of a breakthrough. She was sure you were the one that would finally allow her to build her army and begin eradicating and enslaving the humans. In some ways, you’re my savior. I couldn’t keep this ruse up for long,” he explained. It was sick and twisted. Why would Phillip do this?

“I’m speechless. How could you do that?” I asked. Phillip looked at his lap. His guards, Sprocket and Amp, looked ready to beat him to a pulp. Everyone around our fire looked sickened and disturbed by Phillip’s revelations.

“I love her,” was all he said.

“You love her?” I pressed.

“I am her mate. I am bound to her. She is my alpha as well. I was compelled to please her. She wasn’t always like this. At one time, we were happy and content. But now, she’d kill me if I told her what I told you. I don’t care about that, however. I just couldn’t bring myself to disappoint her,” Phillip admitted. I almost felt sorry for the man. I suppose I knew of what he spoke. I was bound to Yeager and him to me. I’d been in Violet’s presence and even that short time was terrible. But doing what Phillip did? I’m not sure I could do anything like that even for Yeager.

“I don’t know what to say, Phillip,” I told him.

“I’m ashamed, I promise you. I’ve done things that are far worse than what those ranchers did to that family. They were ignorant and afraid. I did what I did knowingly. I did it selfishly,” he explained and his regret was palpable.

“So why come here? Why tell us all that?” Murphy asked him.

“I can’t let this continue. What happened today showed me that. This has gone too far and I can stop it. Violet will never get her army of shifters. We’re no different than humans. We are humans. I know. I’ve peered inside many a girl’s body. There is no physiological difference. Why we can change, I have no idea. Maybe it is evolution or maybe it’s some manner of magic. I truly don’t know. But Violet won’t be satisfied with that truth. She’ll do whatever she can to hurt humans. This won’t end well,” he warned us.

“What is she planning?” Yeager asked Phillip. Phillip looked at him and sighed.

“She will find you. She has sent her minions, rogue shifters, fellow zealots and men with guns that she has paid off. They come to eradicate all of you if you will not join her. She doesn’t know where you are, but she will follow you. She’s capable of anything right now,” Phillip said. Two men came into the fire’s light, the wolves that Murphy had sent to make sure Phillip wasn’t followed.

“He’s alone, Murph,” one of them announced.

“Thanks. Still, let’s double the sentries,” Murphy told them. The man nodded and shifted along with his partner then padded off into the night to keep watch. Murphy looked at Phillip. His eyes were solemn.

“You know, we can’t let you leave,” Murphy said. I recoiled at that. I knew what Murphy meant and I knew he was right but the idea was still shocking.

“I know. She’ll kill me if I return anyway. I’m already dead and I’ve been dead inside for years. I wish I could have found the courage to end this years ago,” Phillip said. I wasn’t sure if he meant ending Violet’s plans or his own life. Maybe he meant both. Murphy nodded at Sprocket and Amp. They stood and Phillip got to his feet as well.

“Before I go let me implore you. The people, our kind and their mates and children, they are innocents. They will fight to protect their homes but they’re not evil. They have no quarrel with you. Please, remember that,” Phillip told us.

“We’ll take that under advisement. Anything else you can tell us?” Murphy asked.

“No,” Phillip said but then added, “Just don’t judge her too harshly. She still seeks to protect our kind,” Phillip said. I shook my head in disgust. She had a funny way of doing it.

“Take him away,” Murphy said. Sprocket and Amp took Phillip by the arms and led him into the night.

“They’re going to kill him aren’t they?” Agnes asked.

“There’s no other way,” Yeager replied.

“Good,” Agnes said to my surprise. She had been under Violet’s thumb since she was a girl. She knew what Violet was doing if not the details. She had as much reason to want Phillip dead as anyone. I’m sure everyone had as many questions as I did but nobody said anything. We just drank more beer and stared at the fire, Phillip’s revelations cast an even deeper pall over us. Sprocket and Amp returned from their task but didn’t linger. With Murphy’s blessing, they went to inform our camp about what was coming and left us to our silent ruminations.

~~O~~

That night, Yeager and I ran as wolves. The cold, calculating mind of the wolf I could become always helped put things in perspective. I could see the world without deep emotion. Things were black and white, good and bad without my human feelings and preconceptions coloring my view of the world. I saw how Murphy was right. I would have gone to the aid of another shifter even if doing so risked my life. I shouldn’t question their decision or blame myself. I should just honor their sacrifice.

I also saw Phillip’s demise as necessary as well. As Cassie, I felt some measure of remorse in Phillip’s death but as a wolf, I saw it as necessary. His life was taken to preserve ours. He made his choices and now he paid for those choices. That was the way of the world that humans too often weren’t exposed to. In the world of wolves, you did what you must to survive. In that knowledge, I knew the coming battle with Lady Violet was not only necessary but inevitable. Violet’s vision was anathema to ours but it was her zealotry, her hatred of humans, that made us enemies.

I trotted through the desert, sniffing the ground as wolves did. My nose told me more about the place than my emerald eyes or my fluffy ears. I smelled the snow that had fallen recently and melted in the warm sun. I smelled humans, probably campers, and their dog but they had passed this way probably last spring. A rattlesnake had killed a mouse last summer but as it devoured its prize, a hawk dispatched the snake. The desert was like a book, full of stories that could only be revealed to me when I was a wolf.

The wolf that was Yeager blocked my path, sitting with his tongue lolled out. I came to a stop and sniffed at his snout. Even as a wolf, I felt a pall of sadness though it was muted and distant. Yeager playfully bit the fur about my neck. I pulled away and circled my mate. I came to rest, sitting next to Yeager. He regarded me and then looked off into the distance where I did. There we sat, two wolves, mates and lovers, friends and partners.

After a time, we lay down, cuddling together as wolves did to stay warm. I had little desire to become human again. Shifting back was always bittersweet, always a bit difficult, but tonight I didn’t want to become Cassie because I didn’t want to feel the pain. It was there in my wolf form but it wasn’t immediate or deep. As a human, I knew the pain would cut me to my core even though I understood why things were the way they were. Knowing why didn’t make it go away.

I woke as the sun peaked over the red rock. Yeager was in his human form, stroking my fur. I looked up at him and smiled the way wolves did. “You slept all night,” he told me. I simply stared at him. “I know how you feel but you must come back. You must become Cassie. I didn’t want to change this morning either but it’s necessary. We are not wolves and we must honor our human selves. We must face this but I promise, we’ll face it together,” he told me.

I laid there enjoying his hand as it stroked my fur. I knew he was right. I knew I couldn’t hide from this. I wasn’t a wolf. I was a woman and a wolf. One could not dominate the other and neither could be denied. I rolled over, got to my feet and began to walk back towards camp. I stopped and looked back at my mate. He knew I needed a little more time so he simply smiled at me and became a wolf. He joined me and we ran back to our camp together.

When we arrived, we found the camp greeting the cold morning. Yeager and I found some of the others nude like we were after we shifted into our human forms. It just didn’t matter once you had become a wolf and seen others as wolves. Nudity just wasn’t a big deal for some reason. But it was cold and Yeager and I went to the motorhome to don some clothes. Murphy had coffee ready for us and Sprocket and Amp were cooking breakfast, bacon, eggs, biscuits and country gravy.

“Is that rabbit?” I asked Amp as he stirred the gravy.

“Yes, ma’am. Killed it myself this morning,” he told me.

“Smells good. Clean kill?” I asked and even I found the question a bit strange.

“Didn’t even break the skin when I broke its neck in my jaws,” Amp told me.

“Nice but I like the taste of blood,” I admitted to the man. I’d spoken with Yeager about things like this but I hadn’t had the opportunity to spend much time around other shifters. Not like this anyway.

“Me too. I ate the other one. Nothing better than fresh rabbit in the morning...except maybe some bad coffee,” he told me. I lifted the cup Murphy had given me and Amp laughed.

“I saw that,” Murphy complained.

“You make the best bad coffee this side of Afghanistan, old man,” Amp shouted back. I giggled at that and it felt good to laugh.

“Mmm, good!” I teased Murphy after I took a sip, grimacing playfully.

“Glad to see you’re feeling better,” he told me as he approached.

“Running always helps. Puts things in perspective, you know,” I replied to Murphy.

“Yes it does,” he agreed. The camp gathered to eat. Amp and Sprocket were used to cooking for a large group. Afterwards, the conversation turned towards what we were going to do with the information Phillip had given us. What he said had bothered me. He claimed he was ashamed of what he had done to those girls but then he told us he did it because he loved Violet. What kind of love would make a man do something like that?

“It looks like this isn’t over. We got Cassie back but this Lady Violet is coming for us. We lost some good people yesterday. As strange as it sounds, the only mated pair to be affected both died. We all know that’s for the best. The others were loners,” Murphy told us. It sounded callous to say that a mated pair was lucky for both being killed but I know what he meant. Neither had to live without the other. Murphy knew that pain all too well.

“I want to thank everyone for coming to my aid. I’m really sorry,” I told the gathering.

“We appreciate that, Cassie but this was coming. Whether now or next week or next year, I think we would have discovered Violet and things would have come to a head,” Murphy told me as well as the rest and then continued, “Look, most of us are loners, yet to find our mates or maybe we’ve already lost them. Some of you are mated though. I guess what I’m saying is if you want to leave, I don’t blame you.” Murphy told us.

“I’m not going anywhere. I need to see this finished for all our sakes,” I told everyone.

“Neither am I,” Edie said. Agnes agreed.

“Violet needs to be stopped. She’s going to hurt a lot of people,” the girl said.

“Amp and me are in. Hell, we’re looking forward to it,” Sprocket said.