Authors: S. A. Swann
His father frowned. “I suppose …”
Uldolf could see that his father suspected that he had another motive. Uldolf just hoped that he wouldn’t press him about it. He told them of the soldiers, and what they must have done to Lilly, and he told them of the animal attack that must have given Lilly the chance to escape. But he hadn’t told his parents everything, specifically omitting the presence of the dagger, or the silver collar.
He hid those because he knew that his parents would think it too dangerous to try to sell them. Yes, he wanted to find out where Lilly came from, but if a satchel he had made from some old saddlebags could give them a week’s worth of venison, the silver in those two items could feed them through next winter. There were
markets frequented only by Prûsans, and Uldolf was sure he could sell both outside the notice of any Germans.
Perhaps more important, it would mean that his family could get along without him for a while. That was going to be important, if it turned out that Lilly needed to be taken somewhere far away—either toward her household, or, the way things were starting to look,
away
from it.
Either way, keeping her on the farm couldn’t last, not with all the soldiers searching for her. Wherever she needed to go, it was almost certain that Uldolf would have to take her there, soon.
he next morning, Uldolf set out on the walk to Johannisburg. A brisk pace would put him there somewhere after midday. In addition to the dagger and the collar, he brought a sack of hare and rabbit skins that should help pay his way. He would have liked to take the elk hide, but it might raise the question at the gate how he had come by it.
He had barely stepped out onto the road when he heard a voice from behind him. “Ulfie!”
He sighed and turned around. “Lil—”
She ran up and threw her arms around his chest, knocking the breath out of him and almost toppling him over. He gasped and patted her on the back. “It’s fine. I’m just going to town. I’ll be back soon.”
“Stay,” she murmured into his chest.
He stroked her hair. “I have to go.”
She looked up at him. “I—I—” She frowned, lip trembling. “Stay!”
“It’s only a few days. I’ll be back.” He smiled and touched her cheek. “Don’t you want us to find out who you are, where your family is?”
She shook her head. “No.”
Uldolf took a step back out of her embrace. He smiled and tried to look reassuring. “I’ll be back. I promise.”
He turned to take a step down the road. Lilly grabbed his shoulder and spun him around.
She stared into his eyes. Her gaze was sad, lonely, and questioning. A flush had come to her cheeks, and for a moment it seemed she had stopped breathing. He brushed a loose strand of black-dyed hair from her cheek.
I’m not abandoning you. Whatever demons haunt your past, whoever you really are, I won’t abandon you
.
You know that, don’t you?
“Lilly?” he whispered. “I—”
Before he could get another word out, she leaned forward and kissed him. Her lips and tongue melted into his so quickly that she was pulling away before he realized what she had done. But she left behind a heat that felt as if it burned all the way to the core of his body.
He glanced up and saw his parents standing by the wall, watching him.
Great …
Lilly grabbed his shirt in her fist and pounded on his chest. “Come back.”
He looked back at her.
“You come back,” she repeated. “I want you to come back.”
He reached up and untangled her hand from his shirt. “I told you I would. Why wouldn’t I come back?”
She took a step back and shook her head. “It’s bad to remember.”
He sighed and decided to ignore his parents watching them. He reached down and cupped her chin, lowered his face, and kissed her back. He saw her eyes wide with surprise as he pulled back, and felt a selfish pleasure in surprising her exactly the same way she had surprised him.
“I don’t care about your past,” he whispered. “I just care about you.”
She threw her arms around him in a crushing hug. She whispered something into his chest that sounded like “I don’t want to lose you again.”
Again?
He took a moment to disengage himself and said, “I have to go.”
Lilly nodded.
“Don’t give my parents any trouble,” Uldolf said. “And be nice to Hilde.”
She looked down at the road with a posture so dejected that Uldolf’s heart ached. It almost made him reconsider.
“Please, Lilly, don’t run away again.”
She looked up at him.
“Please? Promise?”
Lilly nodded, and said, “I—I promise.”
he day was warm—the fifth sunny day since the thunderstorm—but the center of the road was still a semiliquid mess of mud and manure. Uldolf walked as close to the edge as he could. For a road that only led to the local farms and a few good hunting spots, there had been a lot more mounted traffic than usual.
Could it all be for Lilly? It didn’t make any sense, even with accusations of witchcraft and murder. There were plenty of murderers in the woods outside Johannisburg’s protection—and plenty of witches for that matter, that being the term the Christians used for anyone who actively practiced the old religion.
None of that had ever aroused such attention before.
However, the closer he got to Johannisburg, the more trampled and muddy the road became. He had to walk almost in the woods just to keep his boots on his feet.
“Has your farm been troubled lately, lad?” the knight Gregor had said
.
“Troubled?”
“By strange beasts? Men or animals killed or injured?”
Strange beasts? Like the one that had killed the elk?
He kept an eye on the woods as he walked. He had a sick feeling that he had seen signs of it, in the woods with those soldiers who had attacked Lilly. The one man had been savaged by something.
Thinking of such an animal, claws, teeth, fetid breath hot on his face …
Uldolf stumbled into the road, heart racing, remembering …
ake way, you fool!”
Uldolf turned around and saw a line of horsemen bearing down on him.
“Make way for the representative of His Holiness!”
The horses took up the entire road, and showed no sign of slowing down. Uldolf had to dive into the woods to avoid being trampled. Even so, a brown rain splattered him as a series of cantering hooves kicked up the soup of mud and horse shit that was the main road into Johannisburg.
Main road?
Uldolf rubbed his head and walked out after the horsemen had passed. He
was
on the main road, and he didn’t remember how he had gotten here. He looked up at the sky, and by the position of the sun it was close to midday—which made sense, since the road from his family farm only fed into the main road, about a quarter mile from the gate to Johannisburg. He’d been walking for three or four hours.
Lilly’s words echoed in his head:
“It’s bad to remember.”
“I don’t remember!” Uldolf shouted at the receding horsemen. “I don’t remember, and I don’t want to!”
He rubbed his right shoulder, vainly trying to make the ache in his missing arm go away.
Why now?
Why would it be troubling him now? He was no longer a child suffering feverish dreams. All of this was eight years gone. He had thought he had been safely through all this years ago. Now, suddenly, it was getting worse. It was no longer the occasional nightmare, it was happening nightly. The moments when he had to stop and catch his breath were almost a daily occurrence now.
Now he had lost part of a day. Nothing like that had happened since …
“Please,” he pleaded with whatever demon guarded the gate to his past, “I don’t want to remember.” It took an effort of will to push it away, as what had happened to him felt as close upon him now as it had eight years ago.
Think of something else, anything else
.
And he thought of Lilly.
He thought of holding her, kissing her. The good memory helped push out the bad. He allowed himself the daydream, that she would heal completely, and that he would take her away somewhere. Somewhere safe from both their pasts.