Wolf Ways (The Madison Wolves Book 9) (46 page)

I laughed. “No.”

“I’d love to help.”

It was later, after dinner, that Elisabeth asked if we could talk. “Sure.”

And so, we went for a walk. Neither of us said anything for a while, but then I realized she was leading me to the Lake Superior overlook. We arrived, and there were seats from tree trunks waiting for us. We each grabbed a log and sat down, staring at the lake for a few minutes.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“For what?”

“Several things. I’m sorry how I treated you last Thursday.”

I rotated to face her. “I’m going to forgive you, but I want to understand what you think you did wrong.”

“You were already clearly terrified. I’ve never seen anyone as scared as you were when they carried you in.”

“Not my finest moment.”

“Yes, well…” She paused. “I knew you were scared. I understand fear, although not the way you do. I’ve never been afraid of dying, but I’ve been afraid of failing. I’ve been afraid of people I care about dying. It’s a different sort of fear. Some wolves know fear the way you do, but mostly we get angry. I don’t have a fight or flight mechanism. I only have fight. Do you see?”

“Yes, I think so.”

“You went from being terrified to fighting. I didn’t understand it. I didn’t understand any of it. They’d only been there to pick you up, and I didn’t understand.”

“You should have, Elisabeth.”

“I know. Zoe, I know. You’ve told me about the nightmares. Do you still have them?”

“Not this past week, but yes. I had a horrible one last Tuesday. Horrible. I don’t want to think about it, so please don’t ask.”

“I’m so sorry, Zoe.”

“I want to know what you think you did wrong on Thursday.”

“I should have been understanding. I tried to cow you. That works for wolves unless they’re dreadfully stupid and stubborn. You don’t respond to that. You respond to logic and a gentle, polite request. I’m sorry.”

I nodded. “Thank you. And of course, you’re forgiven. To be honest, I had moved past that. I’m a little bitter about some other things, but not that.”

“Well, I’m not done apologizing. I’m sorry for how I treated you when we were dating. You never should have gotten the impression I thought I was settling.”

“Does that mean I misunderstood.”

“No. It means I’m an idiot.” She paused. “I have a view of what I want, and I can’t get past it. The person I want shifts to fur.”

I looked away.

“Zoe, you’re an amazing woman, and this week you’ve really demonstrated it. You’re everything I thought you were.”

“But it’s not enough?”

“It should be. Zoe, it should be.”

I turned further away from her. “I’m not sure I want to talk about this with you. If you think we’re going to get back together, we’re not.”

“I know.”

“And you have to knock some sense into your wolf. Do you hear me?”

“Yes, Zoe. I hear you. I’m always going to be possessive.”

I turned towards her, and I knew my eyes were flashing anger. “If you think I’m going to stop dating because your wolf believes I belong to her, you’re insane.”

She held her hands up. “No, no, Zoe, that’s not what I meant.”

“It sure sounded like that’s what you meant when you growled last Sunday.”

She hung her head. “I know. I’m really sorry.”

“Why did Harper run from you, Elisabeth? Why? Do you give off some sort of possessive scent? Am I somehow marked as yours? Does it wear off?”

“You’re not marked,” she said. “I swear. But yes, I was probably giving off dangerous scents.”

“What are you going to do about it?”

“I won’t chase anyone else away, Zoe. I promise. Harper’s the wrong one for you, anyway.”

“You don’t get to decide that!” I screamed.

“I know! I know. Zoe, please. Calm down. Please.”

I stared at her, then stood up and walked a short distance away, looking out over the lake.

“If you scare anyone else away, I will petition the alphas to let me leave Wisconsin, and I will demand they pay for my resettlement. I will refuse to ever have anything else to do with werewolf packs. I will never share secrets, but I damned well deserve a clean start.”

“It won’t come to that. I swear, Zoe. I’m sorry.”

I thought about it. “Why was Harper wrong? We were really getting along.”

“She’s not strong enough for you.”

“She seemed plenty strong.”

“She’s a good person, but she has a history of getting walked over, and she manipulates relationships to repeat the pattern.”

“She seemed perfectly sane to me, Elisabeth.”

“I’ve known her for a long time, Zoe. She’s never had a healthy relationship in her life.”

“Have you?” I asked.

She was still. I turned to look at her. And she brushed a tear away.

“Oh Elisabeth,” I said. “I’m sorry.”

“No,” she said. “It was a fair question. My relationship with you was the best I’ve had in years, if we’re talking people I’ve actually romantically kissed.”

“And we were kind of screwed up.”

“No, but we’ve had our turmoil. God, I wish I could bite you.”

I laughed. “That’s what they all say.” I paused. “I do, too.”

“Can we be friends?”

“I need a little more time. But yes, I think so. If you don’t chase away the next woman who shows interest in me. I think Monique has someone in mind.”

She laughed. “I’ll let you decide for yourself about that one.”

“You know who she wants me to date?”

“Yeah.”

“Tell me.”

“No way. And don’t ask. If you gave Monique a date for a bribe, then you should treat it fairly. Don’t let yourself become prejudiced.”

“Laughing about it sort of tells me a lot.”

“Yeah, but you shouldn’t trust my judgment.”

“Uh huh.”

It was a good weekend. I was tired by the time we got home, but when we were a half hour away, Monique asked, “Zoe, would you be willing to talk to my mom tonight? I know it’s kind of late.”

“It’s far too late to drive into Madison and back, Monique.”

“I’ve got her on the phone and she wants to see me. She said she’ll meet us at the compound.”

“If Portia is willing to release me, I’ll talk to your mom with you.”

“Go ahead,” Portia said. “But Monique, the alphas’ house will be busy. Why don’t you have your mom come to my house?”

“Sure!” she said. “Thanks.”

We arrived, safe and sound, a half hour later. Hugs were passed all around, and I heard from a few kids how much they enjoyed my classes. That was nice.

Iris and Lindsey offered to take me for runs whenever I want, and Iris told me I could brush her, too. I told her I’d like that.

I accepted a hug from Elisabeth. I missed her hugs, and I was subdued after, but then Michaela hugged me, too.

“Thank you so much,” she said. “And you can count on teaching the photography class. The kids are campaigning already, so that means they’ll push their parents, and the pack council will cave in and find a way to pay you.”

I laughed. “I’ll look forward to it.”

By the time we were done saying goodnight, Monique had her bag plus my bag, computer and both camera bags. She was quite laden down, but when I offered to take some from her, she wouldn’t hear of it.

And so, three of us made the walk to Portia’s house. When we arrived, we found a woman seated on the steps, waiting for us.

“Faith,” Portia said. “You could have waited inside.”

“It is far too nice a night for that, and I’ve only been here about five minutes,” the woman replied. “Let me get the door.”

Monique carried my things to my room for me then came back and hugged and kissed her mother. The two held each other for a while, then they separated. “Mom, this is Zoe Young. Zoe, my mom, Faith Simpson.”

She and I shook hands.

She was a wolf, of course, and big, but not monstrously so. She smiled at me. “Monique said she wants to talk to me about something, and she wants your help.”

“She does. Are you in a hurry? I was going to make a bite to eat.”

“No, no hurry,” Faith said.

So the four of us moved to the kitchen. I had a bag of soybeans in the freezer, so I started water boiling and put together the ingredients for edamame. “I want help with the spices,” and I got the wolves to help me put together a sauce for them.

Then I turned to them. “So while that’s cooking, I believe Monique can’t wait to show you something.”

“May I?” she asked. “Portia, may I?”

“She’ll see it eventually,” Portia said. “Yes, you may.”

Monique was already working on shedding her clothes. Faith cocked her head and said, “Did you acquire a tattoo? We’ve talked about this, Monique.”

“No, Mom!” Monique said. “I promised I wouldn’t.”

“It just seems everyone around here has a tattoo,” Faith said. “But you will wait until you are sixteen and a proper adult.”

“Yes, Mom,” Monique said. She made it sound like teenagers everywhere, but I didn’t think she was upset. She finally slithered out of all her clothes, then said, “Okay. Don’t blink.” Then she dropped into a crouch and a moment later, there was a furry wolf in Portia’s kitchen.

Faith almost fell off her stool.

“Oh my baby!” she said. “Oh honey!” She dropped to her knees and pulled her daughter into her arms.

Then she held her daughter for a long time, her face buried in Monique’s fur.

Finally she released Monique, who gave a quick howl of happiness then shifted back into her human form. She was grinning as she pulled her clothes back on.

“Is this what we were going to talk about?”

“No, Mom,” Monique said. “But I bet Zoe wishes we could teach her!”

I laughed. “Zoe would like that a great deal.”

“Faith, you need to call the alpha before you leave this house,” Portia said. “You may do that later. They are expecting your call.”

“I understand. She’s going to explain this is a pack secret.”

“Yes, but she wants to do it herself.”

“Of course.” She looked at Monique. “I am so proud of you. I’m sorry I called you ‘baby’. You know I can’t help it.”

“It’s okay, Mom,” Monique said. “You didn’t do it in front of the other kids.”

About then, the edamame was done, so I drained them then tossed them thoroughly with the spices and some salt then tried one.

Perfect.

I tossed them all into a bowl, added a second bowl for the shells, and said, “Everyone has to try one.”

Portia didn’t need encouragement. She grabbed one right away. “Good,” she declared. “But I liked the ones you did with a little more kick.”

“What are they?” Faith asked.

“Try one, Mom,” Monique said. “You peel the beans out with your teeth.” Then Monique proceeded to demonstrate. “These are good, but I liked when you used brown sugar.”

I chuckled. The wolves couldn’t agree, and I kept fiddling with the recipe. I didn’t think I was going to find something they all agreed on, but as long as they liked them, that was fine.

“Beans?” Faith said. “No, thank you.”

Portia ate another one. Faith watched her warily.

Then Monique had another one, too.

“You’re eating beans? Is this some sort of enforcer initiation thing?”

“It’s edamame, Mom,” Monique said. “It’s good. She made them plain once, and they weren’t very good, but she says it’s all in the sauce.”

Faith eyed the bowl of soybeans. “I’m not sure wolf digestive tracks are meant for peas.”

“Not peas. Soybeans. Try one, Mom.”

“I think this is a trick on your mother.”

“Portia is eating them.” And Portia took another one to prove that yes, she was eating them.

“Portia is perhaps in on this trick.”

“Mom, have you ever seen me willingly eat something I didn’t care for?”

“Yes. You ate worms when your older sister dared you.”

“Have you ever caught me lying to you?”

Faith studied her daughter. “No.”

“First time for everything? Is that what you’re saying, Mom? And in front of my boss?”

Portia chuckled. And ate another one. I realized if I wanted any, I better start chowing. I hadn’t made that many.

Faith reached in and picked one up. She eyed it.

“The pods kind of pop open,” I said. “Some people can actually just squeeze them out, I guess, but I never figured that out. Besides, you want the sauce, and most of it’s on the outside. For just myself, I boil them in a brine, but the wolves complain they’re too salty that way.”

She tried one. Not the entire pod, just the bean on the end.

“Aw, you barely get any sauce that way,” Monique said. “It’s not going to kill you.”

So Faith tried the entire pod, struggling to free the beans, but then they all popped into her mouth, and she withdrew the pod and dropped it in the bowl.

Then she held the beans in her mouth, not chewing.

“Really, Mom. I promise they digest.”

I suppressed a laugh, but it was a near thing. Faith chewed and swallowed the beans. She cocked her head.

Then she took another one, and Monique said, “Yes! I told you.”

Once the bowl was empty, we all washed our hands, and then Faith said, “If you served them to me again, I’d eat them, but I’m not asking for the recipe.”

I laughed. “That’s what all the wolves say, but I have yet to see one pod go to waste.”

“It’s worse than that,” Portia said. “Francesca wants you to make up batches for pack night. She said you should make different recipes and mark them. People can vote on them, too.”

I laughed. “All right.” I finished drying my hands. “Shall we move to the living room?”

“Should I make myself scarce?”

“Only if you want to, Portia,” Monique said. “Do you know what we’re talking about?”

“Not a clue.”

“Actually, I think you should stay,” I said. “Just so you know what’s going on.”

So we all sat down in the living room, Monique and her mother on the sofa, Portia and I on the two easy chairs. “All right, Monique, did you want me to do the talking?”

“I’ll start,” she said. “Then you can take over.”

“Okay. Before you start, there’s a print out on my desk. Will you go get it?”

She would only be gone a moment, but as soon as she was out of the room, I said, “Faith, you can be very proud of your daughter. She is an amazing girl.”

“Almost a woman,” Faith said. “I couldn’t be more proud. Did you know, they made the enforcer program for her? She was the first student. Her father and I burst our buttons with pride when Elisabeth, Lara, and Michaela showed up on our doorstep one evening and invited Monique into the new program.”

“This printout, Zoe?” Monique asked, showing it to me. I nodded, and she gave it to me. “Did you have enough time to talk about me?”

We laughed. “The important parts,” I said.

She took her seat and turned to her mother. “Mom, you know how I almost never ask you for anything.”

“You’re about to ask me for something.”

“Uh huh. I’m a good girl, and I work hard.”

“You don’t have to sell me, Monique,” Faith said. “Tell me what you want, what it will cost, and then we’ll see if you need to sell it.”

“Well, what do you know about Zoe?”

“She’s human, and you’ve been talking about her during our phone calls.”

And here I thought my reputation preceded me.

But then Faith turned to me. “You’re the human Elisabeth was dating. The vegan! That’s why you fed me beans.”

“Guilty,” I said.

She shook her head. “When I heard about that, I had to ask what a vegan was. And are you converting my daughter to your rather quaint ways?”

“No, Mom,” Monique said. “Just the edamame. It’s good. Zoe has her food, and we have ours.”

“It’s a lot like keeping a pet rabbit,” Portia said.

“Or a hamster,” Monique added.

“Oh, yeah,” Zoe said. “A hamster.” They looked at me and grinned. I sighed dramatically.

Faith watched all this, looking between the three of us. “Monique, you have become quite comfortable here.”

“Only here, Mom. It’s because of Portia and Zoe. They don’t treat me like a kid.”

Faith looked at Portia and me again, then said, “Well, keep going.”

“Zoe is a professional photographer,” Monique said. “She does nature photography, and she sells her photos online. The alpha even buys her photos!”

“You know, I heard about a new photographer in the pack, but I didn’t put two and two together. This is what happens when I never come to pack events.” She turned to me. “My daughters have had their lives here, first Monique’s older sister, and now just Monique, and I want to leave them free to pursue their dreams. I am afraid I don’t treat either of them like adults yet, and I should.”

“You should come to pack nights, Faith,” Portia said. “You would be very welcome, and it’s good for the parents to get to know what happens here.”

“Yeah, Mom. I keep telling you and Dad to come.”

“Your sister used to ask us not to.”

“She did?” Monique said. “Why?”

“Because I call her ‘baby’, too.”

Monique thought about it. “Well, I want you to come, even if you call me ‘baby’ in front of the other kids. But that’s not what we’re talking about, either.”

“Well, get to it,” Faith said.

“Mom, you know I’ve always wanted to be an enforcer, and everyone here says I’m going to be a great enforcer. But you used to say how satisfying it was to have a hobby, too.”

“Ah, I see where we’re going.”

“Michaela said that Zoe is going to be teaching a photography class starting after Christmas, but the standards are going to be high. Michaela said I can take the class if I want to.”

“But?”

“I need a camera.”

“Ah ha. We come to the core of this meeting!”

Monique turned to me. “Now it’s your turn.”

I smiled. “Faith, for the class I taught this weekend, any camera would do, although I would have preferred something other than the cell phones some of the kids use. But for my course this winter, assuming the pack council approves the budget, I will require digital SLR cameras. Do you know what that is?”

“The fancy ones with the changeable lenses, but that’s all I know.”

“Right. We’re going to start with photography basics, the simple things, and the kids could use almost any camera for that, but as we get into the more advanced topics, that won’t do. For instance-” I broke off. “Monique, I need my computer.”

“Coming right up,” she said. She dashed from the room.